"Look at him, Yongs." Bomi laughed. "Seem that Myung likes you."
Not long before, Yoongi just brought the dinner into the living room. Two plates of kimchi fried rice, a bottle of cold apple juice, a glass of warm honey water, and two empty mugs. He sat on the carpet joined Bomi that still fed Myungsoo with nuggets. When he was about to enjoy his dinner, the baby boy yawned and mumbled a 'Von Count' he noticed the plushie doll on the sofa and gave it. Myungsoo finished the fifth nuggets without any fuss. Bomi gave him warm honey water, and also put a fever patch. And then the baby boy surprisingly laid his body on the carpet, and instead of asking Bomi for comfort nor asking where his mother was, he leaned his head on Yoongi's lap ready to sleep.
"Let me take a photo."
"What for?"
"For fun. Who knows you can use the lovely photo for seminar profile."
Yoongi rolled his eyes but let the young lady to capture the moment.
Bomi laughed a little but then he saw Namjoon dashed heading into the kitchen and hurriedly back into the main bedroom with first aid kit box in his hand. Felt that something must be not right, she followed behind after asked Yoongi to look after Myungsoo.
"I saw you took the first aid kit box." Bomi stepped closer. "Is there any injuries or something?"
Namjoon didn't answer. He blankly prepared the ointment and smeared it on Seokjin's left arm.
"Joon?" Bomi approached near into the mattress and gasped when she saw the scratches. She wanted to help but decided to let Namjoon did all the care needed. Beside she knew clearly that Namjoon was in the verge of being broken, again. All she wished was the three years worth of medication and therapy could help Namjoon for it best. She rescued both Namjoon and Seokjin once at their worst condition. She didn't want to witness the two to suffer ever again.
But by the way Namjoon acted, she knew, what happened to Seokjin with those scratches was beyond imagination. It was really something that no one would ever had in mind, to think, that Seokjin did something called self harm.
For a moment in silence, Namjoon managed to finish the treatment and as well changed Seokjin's clothes. He quietly cleaned up the cotton buds and stuff, and then pulled the blanket up around Seokjin's chest.
"You are doing good, I'm sure Seokjin will be okay by tomorrow." Bomi could only give Namjoon an encouragement. "But for now you better eat dinner with us, will you?"
Namjoon lightly nodded. Bomi waited until the man walked outside the bedroom before she followed behind. But instead of heading into the kitchen to put back the first aid kit box and took the dinner, Namjoon went heading into the backyard terrace.
"Namjoonie..."
Namjoon pulled his hair in desperation and groaned, ignored the young lady's existence.
"Bomi ah?"
Bomi just wanted to persuade her cousin that taking dinner is okay in such moment in between of taking care beloved one. But a greeting voice distracted her, and both of them turned their head to find Mrs. Ahn.
"Auntie?" Bomi approached closer and hugged the lady. "But aunty, you said you are in vacation and won't be home?"
"I wanted to surprise you." Mrs. Ahn released their hugs. "But when I arrived home, you weren't around. My cottage staff told me that you asked him the direction to this cottage. I understand that sometimes local people knows better than google map. But it made me curious, so I asked my staff to drive me here."
"Yeah, Namjoon telephoned me asking for a help and it was emergency." Bomi mentioned the man, and got no reaction so she continued. "I really had no idea that he was here, in a place where I had never guess. I didn't know that my patient would be Seokjin. He told me that Seokjin got fever. And even Myung wasn't in a good condition..."
"Myungie, how is he now? Are we need to take them to the hospital?"
"Well, for now I think it's no need to worry much. I gave them injection and medicine. They are sleeping now. But, about Seokjin... I mean, we, no I mean Namjoon and Seokjin had such circumstance in the past and ugh... I don't know if it's okay to talk about it or just ugh well, I just found out that this cute baby boy is my nephew... Wait..." Bomi knitted her eyebrows, realized the oddness. "Auntie and Seokjin knows each other? And Namjoon?"
Mrs. Ahn nodded. "Seokjin was like my own son. So, I need to make sure he is always alright." She said it as an explanation for Bomi but the words quite more for Namjoon. She noticed that the man way too quiet and didn't even greet nor welcome her like he used to. "Namjoon, you seemed upset. You okay?"
Was he okay? Namjoon fisted his palm.
Seokjin was the one asked him not to cut and harm his arm. Seokjin tried to save him when his intention was to hurt the pretty one. Seokjin was the only one gave him a cup of warm tea even after he tortured the beautiful angel. Seokjin was fine. Seokjin was alright. Seokjin will probably always be alright if only he was never an idiot. Because aside of those scratches, he saw the burnt scar under the pretty one's left collarbone. Burnt scar he left when he deeply pressed the ignite cigarette on Seokjin's soft skin that morning. That certain morning when he woke up beside Seokjin, on the cockloft bedroom. He was drunk the night before. The burnt scar was left there right at the moment when Myungsoo started to grow and live inside Seokjin.
There. The question made Namjoon burst into tears. He could only regrets of what he did in the past, and Mrs. Ahn could only reach him to give him a hug.
"We found some scratches cuts on Seokjin's left arm when we changed his clothes." Bomi explained on Namjoon's behalf. "We don't know if auntie probably know, that Seokjin did a self harm..."
.
Not only Namjoon that felt upset. Yoongi called him from the living room, asked for a helping hand. The baby boy also cried."
.
"Well, he was asleep. Looked so peaceful, but after a while he didn't look as peaceful as I thought. He mumbled 'mommy' and started to cry." Yoongi explained.
Bomi knelt down to check. It wasn't a loud crying, more into faintly sobbing. And the body temperature wasn't as bad as before.
"Are you sure we don't have to go to the hospital?" Namjoon didn't want something bad happened.
"He needs comfort his mother can't give him right now."
Namjoon won't waste any second. He shifted closer to scoop and took Myungsoo from Yoongi's lap into his cradle. "Myungie let's see the starry skies outside with daddy, okay?" Whether he slipped on his tongue or consciously said it, Namjoon went into the backyard terrace again. Wished the shiny night skies and fresh air could help soothe them both.
Bomi and Yoongi followed Namjoon into the backyard terrace. The two were half unsure if Namjoon could really calm a baby boy, though the baby was the man's son.
"Mommmyy puudddiiing..." Myungsoo mumbled in between his sobs.
Bomi glanced facing Yoongi. "Why it's suddenly feels that this is all my fault?"
.
Myungsoo could finally calm and sleep, though the baby boy always whined whenever Namjoon wanted to put him lay on the mattress inside Jungkook's bedroom, so Namjoon decided to cradle him and watched television.
"Jimin just texted me, he is already near. And guess what, Taehyung is coming along with him. They are probably arrive in a minute." Yoongi said as he stood up from the sofa. "I'm going to make some tea for us. Namjoon, you want something?"
Namjoon shook his head. "I'm good."
Yoongi prepared the tea enough for everyone, and when he was ready to serve the cups on the table in the living room, Jimin and Taehyung arrived.
"I really didn't expect we have some kind of reunion here. In such condition and circumstance. In this lovely cottage of my boyfriend's cousin." Taehyung greeted everyone. "Poor Jungkookie couldn't make it to join us here. He is attending university exchange student in Cambodia."
"I was surprised when Taehyung told me, he was here before. Who knows that his Jungkookie was Seokjin hyung's cousin. Seokjin hyung that we used to see around Bomi's crush." Jimin got a light hit on his back, as Bomi glared at him. He grinned and gave the pudding and cupcakes to Bomi. "I didn't know what kind of pudding a baby would like, so I bought your favorite one. Custard pudding."
"That's perfect." Bomi received the package. "Sadly, the baby already asleep. So I'm gonna take this into the refrigerator."
"Ohh dear. I didn't know that I'm having lovely guests. I should prepare some cooks to welcome you all." Mrs. Ahn greeted as she closed the bedroom door behind her after checking on Seokjin.
Jimin and Taehyung properly intoduced themselves to Mrs. Ahn. They got permission to stay over the night and could sleep in the smaller cottage.
.
"You guys were all friends?" Mrs. Ahn poured some tea into everyone's cup. "Even Taehyung and Jungkook are boyfriends. This is really a coincidence I guess?"
"A unique coincidence. A fate maybe." Bomi took a piece of cupcake. "We were actually never know Seokjin this up close and personal. But we used to see him around campus area. We went to the same cafetaria."
"Bomi used to stalk the handsome man from the medical faculty that always around Seokjin hyung." Taehyung nonchalantly told the fact.
Bomi rolled her eyes.
"You meant, Hyosang?" Mrs. Ahn laughed. "Bomi ah, but really, what Taehyungie just said makes me want to matchmaking you with Hyosang. He is the most reliable single man. And handsome. You two are perfect match."
Bomi gave her thank you next smile. "I don't think this is a good idea. I knew Hyosang, we have met, we shared stories. Things happened, and I'm already move on."
"That's good. But we will never know what's tomorrow can bring. Maybe we could have some BBQ later when he is home, and see..." Mrs. Ahn suggested. "Ohh, well. By the way Namjoon, you haven't watch your son's documentary video right?" The lady asked as she handed a cup of tea for Namjoon.
"Documentary?" Namjoon knitted his eyebrows.
"Some videos made by Jungkook since the day Myungsoo was born. Jungkook created it and gave it to Seokjin every year for Myungsoo's birthday gift."
"Whoah, seriously?" Taehyung giggled in awe. "I didn't know that my boyfriend was this sweet."
"Yeah, he is kinda tough outside, but as well soft sweet and caring." Mrs. Ahn smiled as she walked heading the TV cabinet and took a DVD and put it on the DVD player. "Seokjin once said he wanted the whole world to appreciate Jungkook's masterpiece, so I think it's okay for us to watch this together."
Everyone paid attention into the television screen, as the video started with term captions.
1st Day. Newborn baby Myungsoo greeted the world with his loud cried and immediately got his breastfeeding initiation, as the midwife took him to crawl on Seokjin's barechest. Jungkook and Seokjin's mother were in the delivery room. Jungkook couldn't stop giggling and bragging as he was became hyung, refused to be called uncle. Seokjin was so amazed to welcome his little angel, he burst into tears as he kissed his son's tiny palm.
1st Month. Family gathering. There was Hyosang as well. Though nothing seemed lovey dovey between Hyosang and Seokjin. Jungkook didn't let Myungsoo to sleep peacefully on Seokjin's shoulder. He loved to make the baby cry.
4th Month. Garden BBQ. Myungsoo was wearing a cute bunny jumpsuit, with puffy cheeks like fresh baozi. Myungsoo was like a squishy bundle. Cuteness overload.
6th Month. Myungsoo got his sweet potato and carrots as his first 'Baby Led Weaning.' He took a aweet potato, learnt it with his fingers, and took it on his mouth. Jungkook who filmed it was so noisy with too much 'whoaaahh!!'
7th Month. Jungkook gave Myungsoo a whole fresh strawbery to made him stop from crying. The baby sucked it as he thought he got a breastfeed, and slowly asleep. Not only lemons, 'When life gave you strawbery, just sucked it.'
9th Month. Seokjin laid on the mattress, was ready for a nap. Myungsoo peeked on the camera from behind Seokjin's wide shoulder. Seokjin filmed themselves full with joy and sparks on his eyes. Myungsoo giggled and drolled could cause diabetes.
11th Month. Seokjin took Myungsoo for a beach vacation in Busan with Jungkook. The baby cried over his own shadow that followed him around. But he finally giggled when Seokjin put his toes on the wet shore.
Yoongi could somehow feel, that Mrs. Ahn didn't play the footage to show them the cuteness of Myungsoo nor the sweetness and caring of Seokjin. It was more likely for Namjoon's punishment. He noticed Namjoon clamped his mouth since the footage began. He knew that Namjoon held himself to not cry. He knew, if they could, Namjoon would gladly turn back the time. Be there for Seokjin and Myungsoo since the day 1.
He felt the urge to do something.
"Beautiful videos. But I was distracted with this." Yoongi shifted to take something from the TV cabinet, a wooden framed photo. "Nice family portrait." He said with his sincere gummy smile. "And look, not only Namjoon and his son, Myungie. Von Count also has dimples."
Taehyung jumped closer to get a clear look of Von Count. "Where?"
.
Namjoon took the small tray on the bedside table, served a glass of mineral water and two pieces of cupcakes. Mrs Ahn told him to check on Seokjin's condition before she went back home. He did it when everyone already leave the living room for a good rest. Bomi stayed in the cottage that Namjoon rented. Taehyung was in the other one. Yoongi decided to go back to the cottage he rented, he went back with Jimin and Mrs Ahn. Myungsoo? The baby finally peacefully sleept on Jungkook's mattress.
"Seokjin?" Namjoon tested whether Seokjin could answer him or not while staring into the pretty one. Quietly sat on the edge of the matress, he hesitantly poked the one's fingers before gently hold it.
"Today was kind of chaos, yet lovely. Just like that day..." Namjoon rubbed the soft skin around the knuckles. "That day was lovely. I did enjoy your cooks, especially the chicken honey, and the way you treated me warm." He bit his lower lip. "I thought I could finally open my heart and we could be friends. But I myself understand, that something nice won't really come into my life. More over when this young lady that I didn't invite, came and kissed me when I was off guard. And that wasn't her only main intention. She did it to mock me, saying that I fall in love with the wrong guy. She knew that I laid my eyes on you. She said you gonna marry Hyosang."
A moment of silence.
"Then, I got a call from my father. I went home to see him only to make my blood boiled." Namjoon sighed. "But if I see those all from today's perspective, it was all my fault. If only that night I came to see you without any kind of rage... If only that night I came to see you with cupcakes in my hand, talk to you like normal people, tell you that I was wrong and broken... What will happen to us must be different. We will definitely be friends. And I will be the first one to find out about your pregnancy."
Namjoon felt like his heart being squeezed.
"We are probably married now."
To realized he lost a battle that he could actually win it easily. He was a total idiot.
"And be here as your husband. Not a stranger you hate the most."
Namjoon tried his best to not cry when he watched the footage, but he failed to hold it any longer when he confessed his sins in front of unconscious Seokjin.
"If only I could turn back time into that night. I will make sure to reveal anything. Honestly confess my feelings. I will make sure I'm not going to lose you. I'm gonna make sure you will be mine. And make sure to make you see me as a normal person. A man who fall for you and love you since the first time I see you in the university library. If only I could turn back time and treated you better. I will make sure you are safe and you won't harm yourself. If only..."
Namjoon cried while having Seokjin's hand burried on his face. Took for a moment until he could finally collect himself and wiped his tears. Wiped it as he knew that those tears won't change the past. He kissed Seokjin's knuckles and whispered, "You saved me. I was wrong. It's now my time to save you. Please give me a chance. I love you." And then he left the bedroom.
.
.
Seokjin slowly opened his eyes when he heard the door was totally closed. He touched the hand where Namjoon wepped, felt the trace of tears. He raised his left arm to see the sctatches he did. Those scratches been treated well.
Those scratches were his battle. He needed someone to save him. And he could feel that Namjoon was sincere.
He bit his lower lips as he let some couple of tears streamed down on his cheeks.
.
.
TBC