His words shook me. This explained a lot, and then again, raised so many questions that I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around it.
Suddenly I could feel an unease seeping through my heart, and I realized that it wasn't my own.
I looked up at Sven to find the visual representation of how I felt inside. I could feel how he felt.
Is this why I felt instantly connected to him? Because he was once family? Our bond was second to that of mates, or of a mother to her child.
We belonged to the same pack, yet I don't remember him. Now that I know, I can see his Icelandic traits immediately. My acceptance of him as one of my own rekindled a long-lost bond that was never severed by will.
In that moment, I realized, that we were both forced out of our pack, turning rogue, and thus found a home in each other so easily.
I shut my mind of all the buzzing questions that stood eagerly on the tip of my tongue. His unease got worse the longer he endured my silence.
I silently got up from the sofa and walked to him, crouching down to face him. I put my arms around him in a tight hug and was immediately hugged back so tight, it reminded me of Gramma.
I could feel him softly shake in my arms, as if he too longed for a touch of familiarity the way I did. I could feel my tears stain his shirt as the emotion came out of nowhere. It felt as though we were meeting for the first time.
When he loosened his grip on me to pull back, I could see his teary eyes and on his face an expression of relief.
"I can feel it. The pack bond with you. But why can't I remember you?" I asked him.
"I was one of the children taken away during the first attack on Fathilagt. I was three," he said.
"The night Gramma found me," I whispered to myself.
"I didn't recognize you, because I had never seen you. But I could feel the remnants of my old pack with you," he said.
"So you knew I was from Fathilagt. You knew I was a dyrith. You put two and two together and that's why your hunch is so strong?" I asked him.
"That's about it," he replied plainly.
"I have one more question though," I said to him. He looked at me expectantly.
"Why do you think it's your responsibility to protect a pack member who you never even met? And both of us don't even associate with it anymore," I asked.
"Firstly, our pack bonds are dormant because we were never banished. So we may be rogues by status, but we still associate with Fathilagt," he said. This was new information to me, and a newfound sense of belonging nestled into my heart.
"Secondly, protection of one of my own is a characteristic I carry by blood," he said.
I looked at him to see his smile return with a hint of pride, and waited for him to explain what that meant.
"I am Sven Alstein. Son of Beta Alstein."
...
I was sitting on the ground before Sven, looking up to him and listening intently to his story that held an unimaginable level of struggle. I thought I had a rough few years, Sven has been in a tough spot ever since he was taken as a toddler.
Regardless of the impression of smugness and immaturity that reeked from Sven's being, this side of him made me respect him for doing so much more with his life than just 'getting by'.
It's so easy to give up when you see your parents killed in order to save you, so easy to stop fighting to make it, when your family, your title, your friends and your entire life has been taken away from you.
He told me that the gravity of his loss didn't hit till he was older, and that as a child he was always scared and crying. He told me how there were others as well, all held for whatever reason, scared and crying. Those that stayed in the Palace became servants, and those that escaped at some point, became rogues.
He told me how he was still grateful, that after all that he lost, he was able to keep his name. Because he suffered the worst, but his name kept his past alive.
This explains the aura of authority that radiates off of Sven when he speaks. The way his eyes flash with anger at disrespect. And his kindness, his strongest will to protect me all made sense now.
I could tell he was not fully comfortable recounting his dark days, but I couldn't see it on his face. If it wasn't for the new found pack bond that we shared, I could never tell that those memories hurt him. I could never tell that he's doing his best to forget and move on. I could never tell that his only sense of comfort to go on with his story was coming from me.
"It's not easy being a Liet member, a rogue shunned by anyone who's not a rogue. I decided to make acquaintances wherever I could. Even within packs. I faced threats most of the time, but the few connections I made, made survival a little bit easier.
"I do have a family here, and I'm glad to have them by my side. But as a rogue, you need all the help you can get," he said, now quiet as he stared at me.
I waited for him to go on, thinking there'd be more. Hoping there'd be more.
I saw him smile and touch my cheek softly. Then he slapped it lightly twice laughing, as if he knew what I was thinking.
"Get some rest Rayne. Stay up any longer it'll be light out," he said, getting up from my sofa-bed.
As he turned around to get to his bed, I asked him another question.
"How did you find me Sven?" I asked him.
He stopped and turned his head back towards my direction.
"You weren't too hard to find."