"There is much that I wish for," Thranduil said. "Many things. Yet I do not know how I should be pursuing them."
Elu lifted her eyes from watching him rub slow circles on her hands with his thumbs to meet his. "In what way?" she asked.
He sighed softly. "I no longer know what is required; what is expected of me," he admitted in a low voice. "Many thousands of years have passed since I last began a relationship; a bonding; a courtship. I fear that I have forgotten what is regarded as proper and what is expected."
She blinked in mild surprise. "If it will set your mind at ease, it has been a very long time since an ellon tried to capture my attention. And it was not that memorable an event, believe me." Her mouth curved upwards in a reassuring smile. "So I would assume that you have nothing to worry about in regards to your courting abilities."
His ice blue eyes softened as he gazed at her. "I only wish to make you feel cherished," he said. "The way I treated you previously was wrong, and I must attempt to somehow make amends for the-"
She silenced him by leaning towards him and touching her mouth to his. He stiffened briefly, before relaxing and responding to her kiss.
"You have nothing to make amends for," she whispered as she put a hair's breadth in between them. "Things were...complicated, unexplained, misunderstood. Neither of us were fully aware of what was happening. There is no shame in that; no need for apologies or regrets."
Sadness filled his eyes. "I have one regret," he said. "I regret having put you in a situation where you were almost slaughtered because of words I had said. I did not think for one second that Aileron would act in such ways. I can only be eternally grateful that Melderion saw his brother and cousin leave with you."
She nodded, closing her eyes briefly. "I had no idea he had even been having thoughts of being with me," she said. "That came right out of the blue." She opened her eyes again. "I thought you had come to carry out my execution yourself."
The sadness in his eyes turned swiftly to pain. "No," he whispered brokenly. "I was horrified to find you in such a situation. Utterly shocked...and furious."
"But I am alright," she reminded him with a gentle smile. "How is Taralorn and her baby? I have missed them."
His face lit up with a dazzling smile. "They are both well," he replied. "And speaking of the foal, I wish for you to have him."
Her eyes widened. "What?"
"Yes...he is my gift to you," he told her. Both hands still held hers in his warm grasp. "I wish for you to have him. You gave him life when he was born. He is rightfully yours, my love."
"But...but you are the one who delivered him," she said. "And I have no gift for you. I have no means-"
"Your smile is my gift," he interrupted. "Your well-being. Your safety. Your happiness. Your presence."
She leaned her head against his again. "I love you," she murmered.
His lips touched her cheek in a tender kiss. "And I love you too," he replied. "And I shall prove this to you, many times over. But first, I will see to arranging for your own rooms. You will not be spending any further time cooped up in the healing rooms. You will have your own private rooms – close to mine, if that is acceptable."
She laughed. "Of course it is! Why would it not be? And I do not need rooms; one room for me to sleep will be sufficient."
He snorted in disgust. "Indeed it will not be. I will not have the lady that I love bundled away in some...some cell-like room! I will not hear of it." His eyes met hers. "I would much rather you shared my rooms, but the time is not yet right," he whispered. "I will not hurry you, or push you in any way."
She breathed deeply and rested her palm on his cheek, to which he turned his head and placed a kiss in the centre. "You will not push or hurry me," she told him. "This is all new to me, Thranduil. We will both know when the time is right for anything. Do not think about it."
He smiled. "You must be famished," he decided as he rose from his knees on the floor in front of where she sat in the armchair. Hours had passed since they'd been outside in his private gardens, and he'd taken her back inside as she'd started to feel the cold. "Come – we will have something to eat. You still need to build your strength up, my darling. I can feel that you are still a little weak."
"But I am healing well," she told him, allowing him to gently pull her up.
He inhaled deeply through his nose as he gazed down at her, deliberating whether to sweep her into his arms and ravish her or not. "And this pleases me," he said, deciding to feed her rather than devour her. Leading her across the stone floor, he opened the door and held it open for her to pass through underneath his arm. "However, you still have some way to go. What do you wish to eat, anything in particular?"
"Anything you want," she replied.
His fingers wrapped tightly around hers as they walked along the hallway towards the steps. "I feel that you should have more meat in your diet," he said thoughtfully. "And more vegetables. You need the nutrients to allow your body to repair itself fully. I will have the cooks prepare accordingly."
"Do not put them to any trouble, please," she begged. "What I currently eat is absolutely fine. It has sustained me all these years, and will continue to do so."
"Nonsense," he grunted, nodding to two guards as they passed. "You will eat only the best. And I..." He trailed off, coming to a stop and turning to her. "Would I be too presumptuous if I asked you to share your meals with me?"
"Why would you be too presumptuous?" she asked in confusion.
"I...I do not know if you wish to spend your mealtimes with me, or with friends you have made here in the palace."
She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Thranduil," she said, stepping closer to him and resting her free hand on his chest. "We have admitted our feelings for one another. We have made a choice to fix ourselves and to love each other. I do not want to spend time with others. I want to be with you, as often as your schedule will allow. I want to get to know the heart that beats inside you, and the mind that always seems to be working. I want to hear of your dreams, your ideas, your plans and hopes for the future."
His chest expanded as he took a deep breath, and a smile curved his full mouth. "I do not wish to be apart from you," he said softly. "Ever. Now that I have you in my arms, I do not wish for you to be any place else. But I do not want you to feel obligated or-"
"Shhh," she said as she placed a finger against his lips. "Stop that. I am hungry...let us eat."
"Of course, my Lady," he replied with a grin, and kissed the finger against his mouth. Turning with his smile in place, he led her along to his chambers and ordered his servants to bring food for both of them. They quickly disappeared to carry out his command.
"Your rooms are truly beautiful," she murmered. She folded her arms over her torso and slowly padded across the floor to the open glass doors. "What a view."
"I have spent many hours out on this balcony," he said. He stood behind her and slid both arms around her waist, crossing them at her front. "Sometimes when the weight of the realm becomes too heavy, I come out here and meditate; absorb the beauty of nature around me."
"The essence of the natural world heals the soul and the spirit, given time and peace to do so," she murmered, leaning back against him. The heat from his body permeated into hers. "Yet too often we do not take the time to appreciate the healing powers around us."
"I have a question," he said as he rested his chin on top of her head. "The night we had the feast, and you healed my hand. How long have you had these powers?"
She shrugged a little. "I am unsure of the exact time," she replied. "I realised I could do little things when I was still very young, no more than an elfling. As I grew, the small amount of abilities that I had grew also. I cannot do anything major, but sometimes what I can do comes in beneficial."
He pondered her answer. "There is a lot more that you are able to do than you realise," he said eventually. "The fact that I am aware of whenever you are close tells me something. I have had that with no other. I know when my son is close by, but it is a different feeling."
"Can you tell me what it is?"
"Of course. I feel as though my blood is fizzing inside me, almost like a tingling sensation, but much, much stronger. The closer you get, the stronger the feeling becomes," he said.
She hmm'd thoughtfully. "I have yet to hear of anything like this," she said. She twisted her head and looked up at him over her shoulder. "Is it a bad thing that I do not experience this whenever you are nearby?"
He smiled, the sheer beauty of him taking her breath away. "No. It only means that I am aware on a different level," he told her. "Remember – I have been seeing your eyes for hundreds of years, with no clue as to who you were. All I knew was that you would have an indescribably large impact on me, over which I would have literally no control."
She turned back to face the scenery, but he reached around her and gently tipped her head back so he could look into her eyes.
"This is not necessarily a bad thing," he whispered. "I merely refused to acknowledge that the past was gone, and I was in denial about letting it go and moving forwards. That is my error of judgement, my darling – not yours."
Her eyes blinked slowly. "I do not wish to cause you any more pain than you have already suffered," she told him. "I think that given what you went through in the past, and what I have put you through, you have been through more than enough. I love you too much to have you suffer any more."
"The only way that I will suffer is if I am not with you," he said softly. "I have you in my life, and I have accepted that the future is not what I had thought it was going to be. I need you, Elu...it is that simple. You did not haunt me all those years for no reason. You are meant to be in my life; I am meant to be with you."
"I can only hope that you do not regret your choice," she sighed, turning away again. "I am not a bad person; I have spent my life doing whatever I can to help those around me. I do not do bad or evil things, and I have never wished any badness on anyone."
"I know this, my love," he said, resuming his former position of resting on top of her head. "I can feel that you are pure inside, in both mind and spirit. I have always felt it."
"Then why do I have so much guilt over what you have been through?" she asked.
He smiled. "Because you are sensitive to others," he answered. "I have told you – it was my mistake, my error of judgement. Not yours. Perhaps if I had not been so stubborn when I first met you, things might have been easier...on both of us."
She laughed softly. "Some things are placed before us to test us, to see how we cope with them," she surmised. "Do not even think about it. Think ahead; think of where we are going rather than where we have been."
"Wise words," he murmered.
"It is the only way I can think of to move past what we have come through, and come out of it stronger," she told him. "Else we can live in the past with all the pain and regret associated with it."
A rather timid knock at the door made him reluctantly withdraw from her as he turned towards it, calling for entry. Two servants appeared carrying trays of food, which they placed down onto the table in the seating area before bowing and leaving as silently as they'd appeared.
"Your servants fear you," Elu remarked thoughtfully.
Thranduil smirked as he gestured for her to sit. "And so they should," he replied in a dry tone. "There are expectations, standards to be lived up to. If they do not meet my standards, they do not serve me. And that also stands if they do not live up to your expectations." His blue eyes met hers as she sat in the chair he'd pulled out for her.
"What do you mean?"
He held her gaze as he sat down across from her. "I mean that they will serve you in the manner that they serve me," he replied. "You will be treated with the same respect and deference that they give myself. I will tolerate nothing less, and I shall hear of it if they treat you otherwise." He handed her a plate from one of the trays.
"I do not wish to be treated as such," she told him, accepting the plate. "Thankyou. I am a normal person, and I do not need to be given special treatment. I do not want to be set apart from everyone else."
"But you already are. You are my soulmate, my love, the other part of me. You cannot be treated the same as everyone else."
She scowled as she took a bite of her food, making him laugh. "I have not changed. I am a simple elleth, with simple needs."
"Needs which I shall fully apply myself to," he murmered, half to himself.
A spark of longing shot through her, and her cheeks turned slightly pink. Did he know of all the nights she'd lain awake, wondering what his hands would feel like on her skin? His mouth placing kisses on flesh that no other had ever seen? His strong body taking possession of hers? His fingers entwined with hers as he rocked them both to a state of undiscovered bliss? The thought made her blush deepen, and he noticed.
"What is on your mind, little Bluebird?" he questioned. The spark in his eyes told her that he knew exactly what she'd been thinking.
She didn't answer.
"Believe me...I shall ensure that no needs are left unsatisfied," he whispered.
Her cheeks turned scarlet, and she laughed. "Can you read my mind?" she demanded.
"No. But I can read your eyes," he replied. "Your eyes tell me a thousand things that your mouth cannot, or will not. I have gazed into them for three hundred years, my darling. I know everything that I should ever need to know as regards to your character and how your heart feels things. You will never be able to shield your thoughts or fears from me."
"I should like to think that I would never have the need to," she replied. "For me, that is not the way a loving relationship should be handled. If a couple cannot confide in one another, then perhaps they should not be together."
"You have been hurt in the past," he said softly. It wasn't a question. It was an observation.
She shrugged as she took a drink of freshly squeezed orange juice, watching him eat. "There was someone, a long time past," she told him. "I thought that he might be the one my mother spoke of; my soul mate. But it was not meant to be."
"What happened?"
"He changed his mind and chose someone else."
"Did you love him?"
Dark blue eyes met ice blue ones. "No. I thought at the time that I did, but...things have happened since then which have made me see that what I felt was not love. It was maybe the idea of being in love, but not the true thing."
He quirked an eyebrow. "What things?"
Taking a deep breath, she spoke. "You."
His eyes, which had lowered to his meal, shot back up to meet hers again.
"I felt things Thranduil, things which I never dreamed existed. Emotions I could not put a name to. Emotional and physical things which were completely new to me," she explained. "I could not get you out of my head, out of my thoughts. My heart beat faster every time I thought of you. Every time I saw you, the beating became painful, it was pounding so hard. I could not breathe the way I usually do. I could not put words together. Thoughts became difficult to make sense of. And any time you looked at me, I felt as though I would fall to the floor and die on the spot."
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, until he tipped his head back and laughed heartily. "Oh my darling...how long did you feel like that?"
"Since the first time I saw you, down in the healing rooms," she answered. Her cheeks were flaming hot.
He put his fork down and reached across, touching his fingertips to her cheek. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Elu," he whispered. "For I had the same thoughts, the same feelings, the same emotions. I may not have shown them, but believe me – I had them too. Instead of embracing them and pursuing them, I pushed you as far away as I could to try to avoid what I knew was happening to me. I have felt anguish and pain like I could never describe, and I could not bear to go through that again. I was trying to protect myself."
"I understand," she said with a smile. Her hand came up and she wrapped her fingers around his, and he squeezed them gently before releasing her.
"You have seen how cold and unfeeling I can be. Now I will show you the other side of me," he decided, picking his fork up again. "Through time, you will see a devoted, passionate ellon who will do anything and everything to please his lover. Nothing is unattainable, nothing will ever be denied you. This is my promise; my oath."
She studied him as she chewed. "I do not ask for anything," she remarked.
"That may be, but you shall have everything," he told her. "As the King of this realm, I will personally ensure that you lack nothing. Be it riches, gems, clothing-"
Her sudden burst of laughter stopped him. "Oh Thranduil," she said wistfully as she shook her head. "Maybe one day you will understand."
"Understand what?" He lifted his wine glass and took a drink, and screwed up his nose. "I do not like this wine. It is awful."
She pushed her orange juice towards him to share instead. "I grew up with nothing. I hunted for food for myself and Ealan. I made do with whatever I could find. I do not look for materialistic possessions. All I ask, if we are going to be together, is that I share your time when you are free. That is all."
"My time will always be yours," he said. "I think that perhaps you should think about joining me for the council meetings and such like. They take up a lot of my time, and it will give you an insight as to the running of the realm. The only time I would demand that we spend time apart is when I go into battle. I would not permit you to be there. When that happens, you will be safe here with at the very least a battalion of guards to protect you."
She remained silent, deciding that that turn in the discussion would do well to be shelved for the time being. It was something which they could argue about if and when the time arose, and not before. "So where shall I sleep this night?" she asked instead.
"Where would you like to sleep?" he whispered. His teasing tone made her blush yet again. "I apologise," he laughed. "You are so endearing when you blush! I will arrange for rooms to be made available for you once we have eaten. You can do as you wish with them, arrange them in any way that you choose."
"Thankyou," she said with a smile. "I feel as though I have not slept properly in weeks, which is shameful as I spent a long time unconscious after the...after the attack on the village."
He nodded, knowing that she was hurting and grieving over Ealan's death. "You will take time to recover from that, spiritually," he said. "And I will do all that I can to help you with that. I promise."
She smiled over at him, safe and secure in the knowledge that he would keep his word, and he would indeed look after her.