Upon waking, he noticed to his relief that Conner was already gone. Breakfast with Karen would be embarrassing enough. Why did he get caught up in situations like this every time?
"Good morning," she greeted him cheerfully while observing him closely.
"Good morning," he grumbled back.
"Conner was in an unusually good mood. Something about Bo Derek?", she fished unabashedly.
Jason scraped his throat annoyed. "I informed him yesterday that he needs to take my feeling more into account because he was a nine. Uncircumcised and over eight inches even a ten."
"Ah," Karen now grasped the link. "Bo Derek."
During breakfast, she regularly glanced at him.
"Are you here for dinner tonight?", she asked casually.
"Probably not. Don't count on me."
He pushed himself from the table about to stand up when her hand stopped him.
"You're back to work, aren't you?"
He let go of his caution straight away because of the worried expression on her face. Reassuringly, he squeezed her hand softly.
"Yes, I'm back at work. Since yesterday, I've been renting a studio. Today all materials are being delivered. But you don't have to worry, Karen. I learned my lesson. The artist who rents out the space is going to help me to work more controlled."
She nodded. "Thank you for wanting to take into account the people who care the most."
He took her in his arms. "I'm sorry it took so long before I saw this."
Another legacy from his introduction to Conner.
The day went smoothly. Alex had placed two benches and a large table with chairs in his space. The rest of the material was ready for use.
After persistent hints of Alex, he had abandoned his reticence and were now huddled together over the big table littered with sketches of Conner.
"Your muse is well captured. Through him you show a wide spectrum of emotion."
"It doesn't hurt either that he's spectacularly hot," Jason wryly added.
Alex laughed out loud. "That's right. But you show more of him than just an attractive man. In Blue Boy you don't expose his face, but you do bare his soul."
"Blue Boy shows my desire. Not his," Jason stressed.
His phone interrupted their conversation. He recognized the number as from the Center.
"Hi, Jason," Charlie said. "We have a situation here in connection with tomorrow's outing."
"Tell me what's going on."
"Erin's older brother Darren is in the group with Conner and he refuses to let Erin go without him."
"I have no trouble at all adding him to the group," Jason said.
"I had hoped for that reaction, but unfortunately it is not so easy. Darren is quite a hothead. Without strong leadership, he could completely mess up the outing," Charlie said.
"Have you had a chance to discuss this with Conner?"
"No, I sent a message that he hasn't responded to yet. What do you think?"
"In itself, it is possible to combine our groups. How would you like to arrange the transport?"
Alex waved to get his attention.
"A moment, Charlie."
"I have access to a school bus," he said. "Can I come as a supervisor?"
Jason bit on his lip laughing.
"You just want to come with to see Conner."
Alex shrugged pouting his lips.
"I don't know if he agrees to that," Jason said.
"I'm sure you can persuade him," Alex said confidently.
After a brief inner deliberation, he nodded.
"Can you do two hours?"
"No problem," Alex grinned.
"Hey, Charlie. The transport is arranged and we have an extra supervisor. If the boys want to come, I'll take care of the rest with Conner."
"Wait a minute," Charlie said. "I'll ask them right away."
Alex rubbed his hands excitedly.
"Outings are always fun."
"Jason? They all want to go on the condition that on the way back you stop at McDonald's," Charlie said with an audible laugh.
"Sounds like a deal. Thank you, Charlie. See you tomorrow."
"Bye, Jason."
He quickly sent a message to Karen saying he would be home for dinner.
"Then I'll leave now."
"Want to get into the good graces of the Stud?", teased Alex.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, ignoring Alex's evocatively raised eyebrows.
It wasn't with fear and trembling that he was confronting Conner, but he still drove home with a slight shudder.
"You finished early?", Karen inquired when he entered.
With a large laundry bag in her hand, she closed the door of Conner's bedroom.
"Interrupted, but for good reason. Is Conner home yet?"
She walked with him. "I'm collecting laundry." She pointed towards his bedroom, where he helped to take of his bedding.
"As soon as he heard you were joining us for dinner, he asked to cook. He also asked me what your favorite meals were?"
Jason heard her frowning.
"Don't ask me about his motives," he replied somewhat indignantly.
Even though he had no idea about the reason behind Conner's behavior, it did him make him feel good. The look on Karen's face made it clear to him that she wanted him to clear things up. The look that followed assured him that no means would be shunned to get her way. Acknowledging his defeat he audibly exhaled. Karen laughed at him with satisfaction.
Casually he moved to the breakfast bar. Conner was busy and the worktop was littered with ingredients.
"Hai," he saluted when Conner looked up.
A radiant smile made him tremble.
"According to Karen, Parmesan Chicken is a favorite of yours."
"Yes," he almost expressed shy. With one hand under his chin, he followed Conner through the kitchen. 'So the perfect man could cook,' he thought, swooning. His eyes were soft and there was a little smile around his mouth.
"What?", asked Conner, who looked up and caught the look.
Jason shrugged. "I'm just pleasantly surprised. That's all."
"Surprised at what?"
"That you can cook and are preparing my favorite food." He shifted on his stool. "Can I inquire after the reason?"
Conner leaned towards him on the other side of the breakfast bar.
"Who wants to know? You or Karen?"
He swallowed hard noticing Conner's eyes that lingered on his lips.
"Both of us," he said hoarsely.
"I wanted to do something fun for you as my attempt last night had some unexpected side effects," he said with a weak smile wiping his hands on a tea towel.
Jason blushed into his hair roots. "You knew...?"
"That it was because of me? Eh... yes," he added with a hint of remorse. "I had no idea you were so sensitive."
"Especially there," Jason agreed.
"Any other places I need to know about?"
"Don't worry about that, Muscles," Jason shook firmly. "If you just follow the rules, everything will be alright." He slid off the stool. "I still have stuff to do, so call me when the food is ready."
"Don't you have some business with me first?", Conner asked casually. "I read a message from Charlie."
Jason froze halfway through the living room. His eyes looked longingly at the stairwell. "That can wait."
Conner put his knife down. "I prefer to get it out of the way so we can eat quietly."
Mopish, Jason trudged back. "Your group will go on an excursion tomorrow."
Conner's head jerked up. "What? To the gallery? Why?", he demanded.
"Erin's older brother Darren didn't want to let him go alone. Charlie asked the rest of the group and they agreed."
Conner listened frowning.
"I've arranged transportation and an extra supervisor."
"Who?"
"An artist's acquaintance, Alex."
Steel blue eyes darkened.
"Oh. One of your kind?", he snorted disapproving.
Jason paled. "I don't know what your problem is, but you really have to get that checked out!" he spat furiously and stomped away.
Karen, who had followed their conversation from the couch, despondently closed her eyes. She got up and watched Conner with his hands on his head. His eyes full of torment and guilt were pleading with her. "Sorry."
"Hey," she raised her hands. "I'm not the one you should say sorry to."
With his head bowed, he picked up his knife again and cut a tomato into wedges. "After dinner. If he's calmed down."
Karen shook her head. "You're going down now. Otherwise, all this effort is for nothing."
"My apology dinner," he muttered looking around. He cursed gently under his breath. "Karen? Would you like to keep an eye on the food. Then I'm going to see Jason."
Jason was just trying to cram his pillow into a pillowcase when he heard a gentle knock on the door.
"Weren't you done with your insulting remark?", he hissed furiously.
Conner came in.
"Sorry, Jason."
He shook his head. "I've had it with your Jekyll and Hyde routine."
His fingers clenched into the pillow.
"It's not Hyde, the biased bastard with his petty attitude towards gays who hurts me every time, Conner. It's Jekyll who's completely torn me apart, with his sympathy and emotional pleas about how he needs me."
Conner stood still in the doorway unsure if he could get closer. "I wasn't trying to play with you feelings, Jason. I really need you," he said, appeasing.
Jason bit away his tears. "So you admit you used me to feel better."
Conner was shocked by this accusation. "That's not how I see the situation. I asked you for help, and you volunteered. No coercion, no abuse."
"No respect," Jason rebounded.
"What?"
"You show me no respect at all."
"Ah, come on," Conner scoffed. "That's not true."
Jason squeezed his lips together. "We're here arguing because you insulted me while preparing a make-up meal. Says enough, don't you think?", he desperately raised his hands. "That reluctance is so ingrained that such comments float effortlessly to the surface. Like a reflex."
"It was an incredibly stupid and insensitive comment and I'm so sorry. But, Jason, I think you're taking the rest too far." Conner took a step towards him. "Everyone I work with knows you're gay because I told them. I'm proud of your art and the rest of your merits. I'm not that keen on some of your friends, but I'm sure that you have the same feelings towards some of mine. In all our activities I have tried to take you into account, but the fact remains that we are different. I won't deny that sometimes I just don't get you."
Over the bed, they stared at each other silently.
"I will do my best to show you respect," Conner promised.
Jason blew out shakily. "I will do my best to be less prudish," he said solemnly. Seeing the grin on Conner's face, he got angry. "What's the problem this time?", he said flaring up.
"Less prudish? Is that your concession?", Conner chuckled.
"Do you have a better idea?" Demonstratively, he folded his arms over each other. "Fine. Let's hear it."
Conner nonchalantly shrugged. "Maybe you can work on your irascible nature?", he suggested.
Jason's mouth fell open in amazement. "Are you serious about that?", he asked turning red. "You lecture me about my so-called irascible nature, which is constantly stimulated by your persistent need to irritate me? My nature is not irascible, Conner. You make me that way!"
Conner wanted to say something, but Jason stopped him.
"Please, don't say anything. Talking only makes it worse. We're different. That's something we both agree on. Now let us go upstairs and eat."
"And after that?", Conner asked.
Jason knew what he was referring to. "I don't know yet," he said honestly.
Duncan had joined them half an hour ago. Now he sat next to Karen and the two men took a surly stand in front of him.
"What the hell is wrong with you? First I'm told Karen sent CJ to a friend's house to eat pizza. Then she tells me you argued while Conner was preparing a make-up meal, and now you're sitting next to each other like two grumpy old men."
Both Conner and Jason dodged his piercing gaze.
"Karen?", he asked looking next to him.
"It's best to leave these knuckleheads to work this out themselves," she said. "Conner, thank you for the wonderful meal."
"My pleasure, Karen," he let out barely audible while looking beside him.
"What did you think, Jason?", she asked with a smile.
"Yes, delicious!", he bit to her.
"Do you want to help with the clean up?", she asked Duncan unfazed by the two surly men.
"Everything better than having to look at those sour faces."
Jason pushed away from the table abruptly. "I'm going down."
"Me too," said Conner, who stood up to follow him.
"Do you really think that's a good idea?", Duncan asked his brother.
Conner followed Jason's departure with his eyes. Duncan marveled at the turmoil in his gaze. "Can I talk to you separately?"
With obvious reluctance, Conner followed him to his office.
"Take a seat," he pointed to the chair in front of the station.
Conner sat down.
"What's going on, Conner?"
Leaning back in his desk chair, he took his brother in.
"What do you mean?", Conner asked innocently.
"Arguments between you and Jason make Karen unhappy and that in turn makes me unhappy. So I repeat, What's going on?"
"Nothing extraordinary. The normal disagreement." His voice died away. "Is Jason always so irascible?", he asked hesitantly.
Duncan shook his head. "Jason isn't hotheaded at all. For reasons that are unknown to me, he makes an exception for you."
Conner moved restlessly in his chair and leaned slightly forward. "He says I don't respect him. Is that true?" Expectantly, he looked at his big brother.
Duncan tilted his head thoughtfully. "You tend to challenge him. Calling things that matter to him ridiculous. I understand why he sees this as disrespectful." He chewed on his lips and examined Conner in an inquisitive manner. "What I don't understand is your persistence in this relationship. Even now, you can't wait to join him."
No response.
Duncan shook his head despondently. "Karen called you two knuckleheads and I believe that description fits perfectly. Go and behave yourself."
Conner jumped out of his chair. "I will. I'll try," he promised.
For the second time within a two-hour span, Conner walked down not knowing how he would find Jason. Who didn't seem to understand how far he stepped out of his comfort zone to be with him. But his distress was greater than his discomfort in their physical contact. Or at least that's how it started. Now things were different. It was true that he needed Jason.
Other than that, he felt good in his company.
Safe.
In his arms.