TRIGGER WARNING
·suicide
·self harm
·depression
·eating disorders
Woojin POV
i waved goodbye to my brother and his friends as i approached my locker, inputting the code and turning the knob to the correct numbers.
things had been going great lately. i am passing all my classes, i'm finally healing from my sisters death, and i think chan might actually like me back! even better, that strange number hadn't texted since the other day. i decided to brush it off and had come to the conclusion that it was just a prank.
my locker popped open and i grabbed my books, but not without taking notice of the small envelope sitting beside my math notes. i sit my things down momentarily to open the small rectangular shaped object. inside of the envelope was a small paper that was folded in half. i unfold it and read the content inside.
next time, LISTEN when someone warns you.
-I.N.
"i'm so sick of these juniors playing these stupid pranks..." i mumble quietly, crumpling up the paper and throwing it away. with that, i picked up my books and walked to class, humming under my breath.
·
i arrived home first per usual. seungmin has after school meetings everyday for his vocal lessons and our parents are working overseas. this means i'm home alone for a couple of hours.
upon reaching my front porch, i notice a small box wrapped in decorative paper. maybe its a gift? i think to myself. so, i bring the box into the house and up to my room. after setting my stuff down, i re-approach the box and examine it closely. after examining the object for a while, i find a small tag in the side. i read in silently to myself.
to: woojin
do you miss her?
i frown, not understanding. either way, i open the gift. it was another note. i open it skeptically and was immediately brought to tears.
_________________________________________
i don't know how much longer i can do this. it hurts to stay here. i'm trying to push through, i really am. it's just... so hard...
-k.j
_________________________________________
"jennie..." i mumbled. i felt my heart shatter and memories flood my brain.
i was at school when i found out. 2 years ago, during my sophomore year, jisung, one of seungmins friends, came running to me. he was out of breath when he finally caught up, but that didn't stop him from hugging me tightly. i didn't understand what was happening but i hugged him back nevertheless.
"are you...okay?" he asks me quietly. "of course i'm okay. why wouldn't i be?" i replied, a hint of sarcasm in my voice. the other boy frowned.
"what do you mean 'why wouldn't i be'? if my sister died, i wouldn't be okay."
"...what?"
it was at that moment that i felt the world around me crumble and my eyes suddenly flood with tears.
·
the 'presents' had come every day now, slowly getting worse and worse. i know that i shouldn't open them, but each one had a note from my sister. i couldn't stop myself. i haven't told anyone about these boxes. they were personal. for my eyes only. i started feeling the way jennie did. i felt like i couldn't keep living like this. i started losing sleep, failing classes, becoming introverted and hating myself.
every little aspect about myself i hated. i hate my smile. i hate my body. i hate my mind. i hate my everything.
i never let people see it though. i put on make up to hide my eye bags and wore baggy clothes so nobody could see how skinny i was getting. no one suspected anything.
today i arrived home to see a box like i do everyday, except its slightly different. it's a bit bigger and wrapped in a different type of wrapping paper. curiosity got the best of me and i grabbed it, taking it up the stairs with me.
i sat it on my bed and opened it. the contents was different this time. it contained a USB, a razor, and a note.
the first thing i did was plug the USB into my computer. it was a short video so i played it, then instantly regretted it. this video was a video of my sister, saying her goodbyes before... hanging herself.
i choked up, sobbing quietly. i just watched my sister kill herself. it hurts. it hurts a lot. i feel sick, even though i barely ate today. i placed a hand on my mouth to keep myself from throwing up the half of a salad i ate today before turning back to the box. still very shaken up, i continue looking through the container.
my eyes wander over to the sharp, rectangular shaped piece of metal. the razor brought back dark memories. back when jennie first died, i slit my wrists. it made me feel... happy. i want to feel happy right now. i wonder if it still works...
as i reached for the object, i realized that if i wanted to, i could die right now. i do want to. i really do, but i have to keep pushing through.
my hand wanders away from the razor and to the note, opening it slowly.
_________________________________________
maybe if you stayed home longer, been there when she did it, she wouldn't be gone. it's your fault. you could've stopped her. you could've SAVED her. but you didn't.
you failed.
you should go apologize to her.
you should've been dead not her.
you have committed murder.
the only way to be forgiven is to apologize to your poor sister.
and the only way to do that is to kill yourself.
so do it.
kill yourself.
_
________________________________________
that's it. that pushed me over the edge. i grabbed the razor and marched to the bathroom, tears streaming down my face. i filled the bathtub with cold water, bringing the note with me. while the tub filled, i grabbed my sleeping pills and smiled sadly.
the bathtub finished filling and i climbed inside, shivering as soon as my skin hit the water. i took out about nine sleeping pills and consumed all of them, sobbing silently. after that, i sat the bottle down beside the tub and looked at the razor, then my old scars on my wrists.
i pressed the razor down onto the old scarred area, causing a few of them to open back up.
"useless"
cut.
"ugly"
cut.
"murderer"
cut.
i felt my eyelids become heavier and watched as the room started to spin. with a smile on my face, i thought of my sister. i would get to see her again. i'm so... happy. i felt my breathing become heavier and i knew that it was over. i put on my best smile, mumbling out a quiet
"goodbye"
·
jeongin POV
"kim woojin was found dead yesterday at 12:30pm. officers found mutliple boxes filled with notes, proclaiming to be from his dead sister. Officials say the the notes were forged and they suspect that a male named lee minho or, also known as, lee know is responsible for forging them. his fingerprints and bits of his DNA found on the paper. if lee minho is found, please report t-"
i turn off the t.v, an accomplished smirk prominent on my face. this was start of my plan, and far it's going smoothly. i pull put my phone and text Felix.
_________________________________________
Feetlicks
stage 2
got it.
_________________________________________
·
Felix POV
i switch from my real phone to my burner phone.
_________________________________________
2 new messages from "lee know"
________________________________________
>wait... you sent those letters to that guy who committed suicide?
>you told me it was for a project or something
that guy? don't you mean your best< friend?
and don't believe some random guy< from the internet.
>how did you know?
minho, i'm smarter than i look.<
>HOW DO YOU KNOW MY REAL NAME?
that's for me to know<
anyways, have fun getting caught by< the police!
>whoever you are, i hope you burn in hell.
me? you're the one who helped me commit the murder<
>...
💖<
_________________________________________
and with that, i break the old, cheap phone and throw it into the fireplace.
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SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! but i got you guys an extra long chapter instead! i'll be updating my other book 'psychotic' tomorrow!