Josiah
next day
9am
"Now do you see how reacting off of emotion and anger can destroy everything around you?" Dr. Ross spoke as I looked down, saying nothing.
"It's okay to be angry, it's okay to be hurt but physically reacting before thinking is the wrong thing to do, Josiah. Nothing good ever comes out of it."
"You knew this shit would happen, didn't you? You knew she would leave me." I spat, looking up.
"Yes. Unfortunately, I did. I knew that you would react in an unlikely manner. Joey, you have IED. I didn't expect you to accept it. I hoped that you did but I knew that you wouldn't."
"Sad that Montana had to be in the crossfire but she needed to see how harsh you could really be. Not that she didn't already after being held at gun point twice." She raised her eyebrows as I sat there, feeling like shit.
All of this for nothing.
"So you wanted to see my girl leave me? You wanted her to walk out of my life for good, huh?"
"I didn't want her to leave you. You did, Josiah.
"I didn't want her to fucking leave!" I spat, this bitch was making me crazy.
"You did. You wanted her to leave when you had sex with other women. Reacting off of emotion. What did you think she would do? Stay?"
"You knew the possibilities." She went on.
"She told me she did the same shit-"
"Yes and I told her to. I wanted to see how you would react and I needed her to see as well. If you reacted that way in here, imagine how you would've reacted out there. On your own."
"You can't see it now but you needed that Joey."
"I didn't need my girl to leave." I spoke fed up. I just wanted out of this bitch so I could talk to Montana.
"I just want her back." I admitted.
"So you're remorseful?" She asked and I sighed, looking down.
"I just want my girl." I repeated, tired of her questions.
"So what are your next steps, Joey. What are you going to do to get her back? Instead of sitting here feeling sorry for yourself."
"And what will you do differently the next time, if this ever were to happen again?"
"I don't know. You tell me.." I spoke smartly.
"Since you know every fuckin' thing and you got your degree."
"Huh?" I snapped as she looked at me.
"Gon' head and tell me."
"I think you could start by participating better in these next couple of sessions with me. Then I could help you get better so that you can communicate properly to Montana."
"Giving me an ultimatum?" I asked, looking at her.
"Take it how you want it." She shrugged, adjusting herself in her chair.
I sighed heavily as I sat in my chair, looking at her.
"Aight. Whatever."
"Okay?" She asked and I nodded.
"I'll participate. I just want my girl."
"Perfect. Let's get started."
*
Montana
Awaking me from my slumber, my phone buzzed loudly. I squinted my eyes from the sunlight as I sat up slowly to answer it.
"Hello." I answered, lowly.
"Mon, the whole hood is talking about the fight with us and Kim. Apparently, Kim is pregnant with Joey's baby and their calling you a bitter bitch." Teesh spoke into the phone.
"Excuse me?" I spoke, completely in shock.
"Same thing I said. I'm ready to go beat these hoes again if I'm being honest."
As if my heart wasn't already broken. Joey was more than just a prideful person. He was pure evil. I always knew he was but this was just down right disrespectful. To go as far as getting this girl pregnant, just to hurt me.
"Wow."
"What do you want to do? Because I'm down for whatever."
"I just want all my time back and a different nigga. I can't believe I wasted my time with that jackass." I spoke angrily.
"Teesha, I'll call you back." I spoke, hanging up before she could even say anything.
I sighed deeply, taking a deep breath. I couldn't believe this information I was consuming but Josiah was full of shit so I couldn't even say I didn't expect it anymore.
Snuggling back into bed, I said nothing. My mind was all over the place and I was trying to focus hard on not shedding another tear. I was through with crying for him.
I loved him but love just wasn't enough anymore and it would never be again. There was nothing he could do to fix this. It was one thing to have sex with two women but to get one of them pregnant was completely insulting.
Those were our plans. I was by his side through everything. I was supposed to be the one to do this for him. But no, he allowed someone else to do it because of a lie. A lie that I only told so that he could get better.
Selflessness obviously got me no where.
*
Later that night
"Montana." I heard Joey's voice calling me, awaking me from my slumber.
I opened my eyes and didn't see anyone in my dark room.
"Can't even sleep without thinking of this dumb ass." I rolled my eyes.
"That's how you feel?" I heard his voice again, making me jump once I saw him on the other side of my bed.
I quickly got up and turned on my room's light as I looked at him.
"Why the hell are you in my house? How did you even get in here?" I spat.
"How do you even know where I live?"
"Montana, you already know, where ever you are, I can be there in a matter of seconds, baby. Ain't no lock, keeping me away from you."
"Get the fuck out, Joey. Don't you have a pregnant girlfriend to tend to." I said, breaking my own heart.
He looked up at me with sympathetic eyes as I bit my lip to keep from crying.
"Get out. Now." I said again, not trying to cry in front of him. I was tired of being weak.
"Just let me talk to you."
"Joey, get out before I call the center and tell them that you left."
"Damn, it's like that?" He asked in disbelief.
"You're tryna get me locked up now?"
"As if I owe you any type of loyalty." I mumbled.
Standing to his feet, he walked over to me and I backed myself into the wall. He looked down at me, rubbing his hand over the small bruise under my eye from the fight yesterday. His soft look then went hard before he spoke.
"What happened to your fuckin' face?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
"Don't touch me." I shrugged him off.
"Montana, what happened?"
"Just leave. Leave me alone, Josiah. Damn."
"Montana.." He trailed off, chuckling to himself.
That's how I knew he was getting angry.
"Tell me who hurt you, Montana. You already know I'm gon' find out regardlesss." He snapped and I just looked at him with glossy eyes.
"You."
"You hurt me, Joey." My voice cracked.
"Baby, I'm so sorry." He sighed, getting onto his knees in front of me. As he did, I kneed him directly in the face.
"Fuck your stupid ass apology! Get the hell out of my house!" I snapped and he stood up, wiping the blood away from his nose.
"You gon' kick me?" He asked and I could tell he was passed angry but I didn't care. He was lucky that's all I did, he deserved much more than that.
"Leave, Joey." I pointed to the front door.
"Nah. I ain't going nowhere."
"Josiah, I just want you out of my house. Can you please just leave? I don't want no more drama with you. We're done. It's over." I spoke fed up and he just looked at me, his eyes reverting to the bruise on my face every time.
"This my house too, ma. I paid for the shit so I ain't going nowhere." He spoke and I raised my eyebrows.
"Okay. Have at it." I flagged him, about to leave but he grabbed me roughly.
"You know I ain't mean it like that."
"Don't touch me." I snatched away from him as he sighed.
He then reached out to grab me by my waist again and I pulled away but this time he roughly pulled me back to him.
"Montana. Listen to me." He spoke sternly.
"That fuckin' baby ain't mine. I'd never go that far to hurt you, ma. I love you. Only you." He went onto say and I scoffed.
"I don't believe a word leaving your lips, Josiah and I never will again. You're a hateful person and you don't even know how to love yourself let alone anyone else."
"I should've never started fucking you. I should've never let you touch me in that way. You didn't deserve me at all." I spoke, beginning to regret everything.
"I don't deserve you now?"
"Hell no." I spat.
"But I deserved you when I was all up in it though, right?" He scoffed, obviously offended by my words.
Since I couldn't hurt him in any other way, I figured I would speak my mind.
"You never deserved me. I was too blinded by the sex and the fake love to even realize that I should've never allowed you to put your damn hands on me in the first place."
"I never wanted it anyway. Why do you think I was so scared the first time? I didn't want to deal with this shit." I pointed at him.
"Yeah?" He asked, taking a step back from me and I nodded.
I was so hurt and angry, I was saying things that I thought but I didn't actually mean. I wasn't thinking these things through at all.
"Yes. And you knew I didn't want it. You basically forced me into it." I spoke lowly and he grabbed my face, roughly pulling me toward him.
"I ain't have to force shit! You wanted this dick and you got it. Fuck is you saying to me right now?" He snapped, looking me into my eyes before he roughly let me go.
"Don't put your hands on me." I said to him, backing away a bit.
"Just watch what you're saying to me, Montana. I get that your upset but you're taking shit too far."
"I'm taking it too far?!" I pointed at myself.
"Says the guy who let a cleaning lady give him head and who knows what else, sent the video to me, then had sex with a girl that we both know and got her pregnant!" I yelled, pushing him.
"Is that not taking it too far?!"
"That baby ain't mine. I ain't even nut when I fucked that bitch. I had you on my mind the entire time, Montana."
"Yeah, that makes me feel better." I scoffed, sarcastically.
"And I bet you did, because I heard you were talking shit about me to her too."
"She's lying." He looked away from me and I roughly grabbed his face like he'd just did me, making him looking down at me.
"Oh yeah? So she just knows that I never sucked your dick?" I asked and he looked into my eyes.
"She just made up the fact that I'm boring in bed? Huh?" I went on, feeling tears running down my face. This was embarrassing more than anything.
"Stop lying to me, Joey. You were never a liar before so don't start now."
"Montana, I'm sorry. I ain't never meant to hurt you like this. I was on some childish shit and I just wanted to get back at you but I see now that this shit wasn't worth it."
"You know I'd never disrespect you like that. You know that's not my character, baby. I went too far bringing you up and if I could take that shit back, I would."
"It's already done. There's no taking it back, Joey." I cried, letting his face go as he put his hands on the wall, blocking me in.
"But you lied to me, baby. You had me thinking somebody else was inside of you. You know how that shit made me feel?" He asked as we looked into each other's eyes.
"Just like you feel right now. That's how I felt, baby."
"..but imagine sitting in a room all day with that shit on your mind. You can't go nowhere, talk to nobody, nothing, ma. I had to mentally deal with that shit."
"And you already know I'm fucked up in the head." He explained.
"I felt just like you do right now for weeks until you came back and told me that it wasn't the truth." He went on and I shook my head.
"So you couldn't even wait a couple of weeks without hurting me, Joey? You couldn't wait?"
"Montana, I would wait years for you, baby. I just fucked up because my pride was fucked up. I felt like less of a man, knowing that somebody else was inside of my girl." He closed his eyes, sighing deeply.
"Baby, I didn't know how to react to that. I had so much shit going through my head and I just reacted. I fucked up, I admit it. Then I lied to you, digger a deeper hole for myself.." He trailed off.
"Montana, I'm just sorry but I promise that bitch ain't having my baby. I didn't even nut when I hit, it didn't even feel right. I would've felt like shit afterwards if I did."
"So what, Joey? What? You think I'm supposed to take you back after this?"
"Like I'm just supposed to say, okay. He didn't mean it." I spoke sarcastically.
"No, ma but-"
"But nothing! That's not how this works, Joey. You fuck up once, I'm done. I can't trust you now."
"I don't trust you now." I corrected myself.
"But baby, I'm willing to earn your trust back." He got onto his knees again, leveled eye with me.
"Please, don't kick me again." He begged jokingly and smiled small formed on my face before it turned back into a frown.
"Josiah, you can't joke or charm your way out of this one. I'm sorry but it's over."
"Montana." He called but I'd already walked away, out of my room.
"Leave." I told him again as he followed me into the kitchen.
"I ain't going nowhere until we solve this."
"It's already been solved and I won't keep talking about it. We're done and that's that. Go back to the center. Goodbye." I told him as I grabbed a bottled water from the fridge and went back into my room.
Closing my room's door, I drank my bottled water before getting into bed. I figured Joey would leave sooner or later once he realized I wasn't joking. I was through with him and there was no going back.
He'd see that soon.
*