Waking up in an unfamiliar room almost transpired Seraphina to let out such frightened shriek.
Her curious emerald eyes roaming around the small chamber, maroon wallpaper on the verge of peeling in the corners, the crooked dresser beside the bed, the not-so-well-polished floor, down to her white sheets.
A soft sigh was instantly released at the sudden sight of Zachary opening the door, along with him is a silver tray of the meal.
What time is it? And where is she?
Memories from before began flashing in her mind. The sight of the crumbling boarding school. The betrayal of the girls and the Headmistress. Zachary's connection to all this madness.
Seraphina just stared at him. As usual, Zachary looked as if he hadn't slept for a decade. He dared not to even change into a clean decent shirt for it is all wrinkled. His blond hair is unruly, his eyebags more pronounced.
The corner of his lip laggardly twitched up in an awkward way, perhaps, unsure whether to react to the newly awake Seraphina lying before him.
"What happened?" uttered Seraphina, eyeing Zachary as he strolls down towards her, still carrying the tray.
Shrugging, Zachary sat down beside her on the bed. Few inches away from her yet his heat began soaking through the covers and even to her skin.
"You passed out," answered quietly, still staring at her, his heart aching to pull her soft long hair back but can't since guilt is slowly eating him alive.
Silence passed between them. Zachary prepared the meal for her, his hand somehow shaky than usual which Seraphina decided not to comment about.
"Where am I?" added Seraphina, biting her lip as she let her eyes wander around the room once more.
It took a moment for Zachary to answer. "Here in my house,"
Her eyes widened for she can't digest the idea of being back here in Avebury. Does her aunt already know what occurred, if so, where is she?
"Abo-about my aunt, Zach, Can I have a minute with her?" Requested Seraphina, eyeing Zachary.
He sat closer beside her, their bodies now touching. Their clothes separating them.
"You're still in Bath, love,"
Her brows met. It hasn't occurred to her that this man before her might have bought a manor for himself here in Bath. Besides, where else would he be staying? In an inn?
Seraphina suddenly felt extremely foolish and guilty for not giving much thought about where he might be residing.
Due to embarrassment and cluelessness regarding what to say next, she looked down at herself.
Her emerald immediately widened in surprise and confusion at such sight of hers wearing a different nightgown. In fact, she now wore a delicately-sewed black frock.
Two things for sure: knowing Zachary. He was the one who changed her. Secondly, she doesn't own this one.
Zachary must've noticed her extensive attention to her clothes since her ears picked up the words, "I bought it for you many years ago, love. I still have loads of gowns for you in the dresser, you could change if you desire to,"
Firmly shutting her eyes for a moment, she forced herself not to make a big deal about it. She shouldn't be surprised for he already knew and expected that side of him. This peculiarity of his is no foreign.
Good God, the whole time, was he expecting her to somehow wear all these clothes? Just like the Christmas gift he gave her many Christmases ago, this one fits her like a glove as well.
However, she found herself almost jumping in her spot when she felt his hand on her shoulder blade, his warmth soaking her skin.
When she opened her eyes, Zachary scooted himself closer than ever, their faces only inches apart. They remained in this position for what seems like forever until Seraphina cleared her throat.
With that, Zachary busied himself in the meal once again, explaining how he wasn't, by any means, skilled in the art of cooking so she, by any means, should excuse him.
At the mention of that, Seraphina found herself smiling at him, chuckling as she gaped at him, his nervousness pretty much evident.
Frankly speaking, Zachary is no chef yet his cooking skills are more decent than Seraphina's.
Still, they both need a bunch of cooking books and a couple of cooking lessons here and there.
"I don't have any stock of food here so I had to race towards the Town's Market before sunrise before you wake up," explained Zachary, eyeing Seraphina to consume the soup he prepared.
At the back of her mind, Seraphina is stunned for she cannot imagine Zachary actually racing to the town's market to purchase a meal before sunrise where many vendors are still not open. In fact, all vendors are still not there. She wonders how he managed to score a few ingredients.
In that very moment, it was as if not a single tragedy transpired. How she wished it'll be just like this forever.
After the meal, Zachary left the room shortly, bringing the tray and the empty bowl of soup with him, a shy grin plastered in his face.
Now with decent energy, Seraphina let herself walk around the small room, dared to open the window near the bed.
Tucking the black curtains aside, her eyes survey the surrounding, a feeling of familiarity budding inside her chest.
A few seconds later, the realization hit her hard, Seraphina almost faint in her very spot once again for Zachary's house is only a few minutes drive away from the boarding school.
She could vividly remember passing through this dark manner which seems like an abandoned one every time they'll go to the Town's Market, to the Church, back in Avebury, and even when Zacahry and she traveled to Colchester all alone.
Good God, all this time. He had been living so close to her?
Her mind began to conjure the instances when Zachary stood here in this very spot, staring at her whenever she'll be passing by all these years since she enrolled in the boarding school.
What made it worse, when Dorian was still alive, they always sneak outside every single night God created, always passing through this manor.
No wonder he knew Dorian always pays her a visit. No wonder...
Seraphina was way too invested in her thoughts to the point she didn't notice Zacahary's presence, a few steps across her.
As soon as he saw her melancholic expression, his grin instantly disappeared into thin air for he knew something's amiss.
"Since when, Zachary, have you bought this house of yours?" Seraphina blurted out, her tone and expression calm but inside, her blood is beginning to boil.
There was no answer. Silence enveloped them until Seraphina strolled down towards him, closing the gap, clenched his already wrinkled shirt, repeating her question, emphasizing every word.
At last, he responded, '" Months before you enrolled in the boarding school," his voice quiet, his eyes on the ground, his hands beside him.
Seraphina just stared at him in disbelief. "I am so disappointed, Zach, but not surprised,"
With that, he lifted his eyes on her, guilt and desperation evident in his sleep- deprived features.
"But does it matter, love? That way, I could always protect you," his voice hoarse, his calloused hand gripping her waist.
Seraphina just stood still, disbelief. She knew Zachary was about to do more nonsense when she had enough of it.
And so, she grabbed the handful of journals on top of the beat-down mahogany desk beside them and threw it across the room.
The second her hands released the journals, dozens of papers tucked between the journals went flying in the air.
Seraphina doesn't need to grab one, even gape down at the paper on the ground to know what it contains.
You guessed it. It's no other than illustrations of her once more.
Only this time, she knew it's recent. One was when she went to the Church along with the girls and the headmistress. The other was when she attended the ball, where she met Mr. Finnegan.
What made her blood boil was the illustration of her naked in bed in the inn where they recently stayed in Colchester.
Seraphina wants to scream and scream and scream but has no energy. She is tired of this.
"Don't fret, Zach. All this is my fault, how foolish of me to think that you'll change," uttered Seraphina in a weak voice, shaking her head, her eyes focused on the man before her.
Hell, he did not even make any effort in catching and hiding a few obscene illustrations of his.
What a guy he is.
It was as if he's not a bit ashamed of himself. As if he badly wants Seraphina to see him as him. The true him sans his golden mask.
When Zachary enveloped his arms around her, tucking her head on his shoulder, Seraphina felt exhaustion eating her alive.
She doesn't even have the energy or the will to shed a single tear.
The next minute, the two of them are on the bed, his arms around her, her frail hands on her lap, Seraphina was sitting on his lap.
She has zero energy to escape his grip for she knew Zachary would just scoop her once more.
Seraphina just stared at him, emotionless, speechless.
Zachary stared back, concerned, he held both her hands and placed them against his chest, "Hit me, love. I deserve your hate, truly,"
However, she just shook and shook and shook her head and when she felt his fingers caress her hair down to her chin, that's when she felt crying.
Good God, she is so tired of crying. She misses the days of days filled with nothing but laughter yet at the back of her mind, Seraphina doesn't mind all these tears as long as she's with him and that makes things much worse.
What has she become?
Zachary fished a black handkerchief from his pocket, slowly, as if hesitating at first, covered her mouth and nose with it.
Before darkness temporarily consumed her, she vividly remembers Zachary frowning, guilty and sad.
"I'm sorry, love," were the last words she heard.
Seraphina woke up in the feeling of someone familiar stroking her hair. Opening her eyes, her head throbbing with a terrible headache, there she saw Zachary beside her, his blue eyes blazing right through her, his arms draped across her thigh, their faces only inches apart.
When he saw the instant her eyes flew open, her grip hardened and softened the next second.
Seraphina's no fool. She is well-aware she had been drugged by no other than him.
Seraphina was surprised when Zachary began to tell such tales from his childhood. Stories circling around him and his late brother.
How Dorian had it all, the looks and the brain. Everyone loved him for who he is.
Unlike him who is just pretending. And so, it angers him when the thing he wants the most is in his brother's hand.
How even in death, he has complete power over her. Seraphina was speechless, fighting over her falling eyelids, perhaps, a side effect of the drug but still listened to his voice filled with aching.
His constant brushing of her hair and cheek she found ultimately soothing.
She badly wants to tell him how Dorian and she were not in a romantic relationship but she knew Zachary would just laugh at her as usual.
Seraphina wants to tell Zachary about his brother's secret but does not possess the courage to do so because that simply means breaking her promise to Dorian. That she just can't.
It's not her secret to all, after all, but then again, his brother deserves to know the truth, right?
Perhaps, someday. Someday she'll have the courage to do so.
Seraphina stared at him, and was on the verge of blurting out how his creepiness was the hindrance of it all. Nevertheless, that side of him is...
Her train of thought was cut when Zachary shortened the distance of their faces, their lips almost touching, their noses brushing against each other.
Zach only stared at her and her lips, held her chin, their faces inches apart, and at that very moment, Seraphina thought he'll kiss her.
But no, it surprised her when she felt his chapped lips touch her temple.
Without breaking their eye contact, he said the words, "Come, you must be hungry from the drug, I've prepared your favorite food,"
Reminiscing their countless banters and laughter, she is a hundred percent sure she hadn't disclosed his favorite food. Still, she decided to not comment about it for she knew it'll just lead to another argument.
Replying with a nod, Seraphina let him help her sit in the bed, still dizzy from the drug.
His warm hand behind her back, she felt him squeezed her bare shoulder, "I am sorry for drugging you, Sep, believe me, it was intended for someone else,"
Seraphina forced herself to not ask further questions about his statement for she knew she would not like the answer.
Of course, he knows a thing or two about drugs. She remembers seeing him read dozens of books about narcotics back then.
Zachary shut it shut as soon as she caught him reading, his eyes following her, daring her.
In the middle of the night, Seraphina awakens and sees Zachary in the very corner of the room, sitting.
His back against the wall, his forehead on top of his knee, his arms hugging himself.
Seraphina went straight to him, patted him on the shoulders and that's when she knew something's wrong.
He then confessed. All the tragedies that had been happening to her were all planned by him. He confessed that he left the cult he joined a year ago since he was determined to win her, just doesn't know-how.
And so, when his brother died. He knew it's now or never especially now that her schoolroom days will soon be over. Meaning, a competition might arise.
He confessed how someone shot him in front of the boarding school, someone chasing her with an ax all planned.
She got angry at him. However, at the pub, he heard of the plan of the cult he joined, how they planned on exploding the boarding school down the street.
And so, he ran to her. Angry at himself for dangling Seraphina with all this for real. He knew the cult would take revenge but he didn't know this would be their way.
He thought they'll hurt him, not her.
Zachary wrapped his arms around her, asked for her forgiveness but Seraphina just sat still, staring back at him in disbelief.
"Then why did you kill him, Zach?"
Seraphina knows she doesn't need to tell him who she is referring to. The man with a burned face.
"Killing him was not in my plan, I swear, love. I only told him to scare you, I didn't know he intended on killing you for real. That's why I was so scared at that very moment, love," responded Zachary, his face, his body language, his voice all screaming guilt and regret.
The last thing she remembers was slapping him hard across his face and bursting into tears.
"Why?"
"Because I fucking love you, Sep, so hard it fucking hurts, I can't stand the idea of someone talking to you, kissing you, making you laugh, I can't, Sep, I really can't,"
Seraphina was stunned at what he said. Shocked at his sudden confession yet still angry at what he did.
"That's not loving charm, you are one crazy man,"
Still, Zachary held both her hand tight, panic rising in his face, "I know how I love is wrong, I am well aware of it but that's who I am but one thing's for sure, I'll do anything to have you, love,"
Shaking her head hard, Seraphina's heart was aching. She cannot believe what's happening. The words blurting out of his mouth.
"I am not some trophy to be won, Zachary!" Hollered Seraphina.
Zachary quickly nodded his head, " I know, Sep, trust me, I know but damn it, I gotta have you, please, love,"
The next thing she remembers was shaking her head, crying.
When she felt his arms encircled around her, comforting her, she shook his arms away but he insisted.
She continued crying and struggling to escape his embrace but exhaustion soon enveloped her.
With that, he just let him be and cried in his arms, her tears soaking his shirt, his legs between her, her hands clutching his shirt.
God, when can this day be over?