Brienne and Tormund crossed through the long icy passageway that cut the thickness of the Wall, out under the large ancient gate, and into the frozen True North later that morning. They rode close together, the night of passion they had shared ever present on their minds. Their progress was slow as they enjoyed merely being in each other's presence. They trudged through the thickly wooded forest that stretched for miles from the Wall. Brienne had never before been this far North. She felt she should be a little apprehensive in such a wild and untamed place. What surprised her most was how comfortable she felt, as if something was welcoming her to a somewhere she always should have been. She told herself, that surely it was due to her newfound relationship with her traveling companion. Unaware of her expression as she watched him, Brienne smiled warmly at Tormund as they made their way along the snow covered path. He turned to meet her gaze, and his eyes as he looked at her held the same arduous fascination. Holding out his gloved fingers to her, she took his grasp eagerly. They rode the last yards through the forest hand in hand.
As they left the snowy canopy, Tormund turned his horse in a direction Brienne had not anticipated. She looked at him questioningly. "I want to show you something." His smile was mysterious and a bit mischievous. Brienne nodded in reply. She was intrigued and she trusted him implicitly.
They traveled along a narrow pass that rose above a shallow valley. The shadowed sun was beginning to skim the top of the distant mountains as they rounded a small rise. Suddenly, the valley below fell off and opened to what seemed like the entire vista to the horizon. Even the hillsides surrounding them made way to the expanse which presented itself. Everything that stretched from her horse's hooves to the border between the land and sky was pure white, except where the dying light turned it silver, or purple. Even the air, thick with ice crystals seemed to sparkle. Brienne stared transfixed by the natural beauty of the unfamiliar new world in which she found herself. It suited her. Tormund could not take his eyes from her.
"I've never seen anything so beautiful." Brienne whispered amazed and unable to look away.
'I have.' Tormund thought to himself as he watched Brienne. She noticed he was watching her, and brought her eyes to meet his. Realizing that she herself was the point on which his gaze was frozen, Brienne looked down bashfully. He reached out to take her face in his hand and leaned from his saddle to meet her lips tenderly. She met his kiss with an equally passionate intensity.
When their breath had left them, they reluctantly parted. Looking into each other's eyes, they felt as if they were the only two people in the entire world. After a few moments, Brienne suddenly shivered. Her heart was warm, but her body was not. Evening was beginning to take over the landscape, and colder air was settling on the ground. It seemed to her that the temperature had fallen fifty degrees on this side of The Wall, but she had been so mesmerized by discovery, and so happy to be alone with Tormund that she had barely noticed for the most of the day, until now.
Tormund reached behind him and removed the fur from the bedroll he had tied to his horse's saddle. He shook it open to its full length and wrapped it around Brienne. "I know a place to get you warm." He smiled at her.
They rode on for a short distance, the light beginning of escape them. Tormund checked Brienne constantly, as he steered his horse through stands of trees and large outcroppings of rock. She followed him diligently and each time met his worried face with an encouraging smile. At last, they came upon the hidden dark opening of a small cave. Tormund drew his horse to a stop and Brienne followed, doing the same. Climbing down from their saddles they tied their mounts just outside the entrance. Brienne noticed a warmth emanating from the cave, and looked puzzled. Tormund put his arm around her and kissed her.
"Trust me." He laughed drawing his sword. She nodded, interested to discover this secret, and drew her blade in response.
The first few feet of the cave were still lit with the remnants of evening from outside. Together Tormund and Brienne surveyed their surroundings to ensure that some ferocious animal had not made the grotto its den. Then, satisfied that they were safe, the two new lovers made a fire that illuminated the rest of the cave. The light washed over surfaces that had been hidden in the dark. Brienne gasped when she saw the lovely blue water of the pool that filled half of the natural cavern. Inviting steam rose from the warm turquoise ripples, and heated the entire cave.
Tormund stepped closer to Brienne and began to remove her armor, and clothes. She stood still in anticipation, allowing him to take the lead. He set her armor carefully on the ground beside the pool, and folded her tunic, laying it on a nearby boulder. As he bent to remove her boots and britches he brushed a kiss across her skin just below her belly button. She gasped and giggled as his whiskers tickled her and his lips sent a shudder through her hips that found its way between her legs. His hands followed the curves of her body as he stood. Face to face once more, Tormund drew Brienne close to him, while the lips that had just made her tingle found her neck. Brienne fit herself around him, and then leaned her head back presenting more of herself to him. As he nuzzled her collarbone and played with her skin, she exhaled with such pure pleasure that he could feel his own body begin to react.
"Mind if I join you?" He teased.
She smiled widely. "I wouldn't have it any other way." Brienne answered happily, visualizing the evening ahead.
He did not take his eyes from hers as he removed his garments. Brienne felt her own body answer his unspoken call as she watched him. She smiled at him and it took his breath away. He placed her hands gently in his, and walked backward guiding her carefully into the warm inviting water. She glided into the pool, letting the heat rise into her very core. Brienne closed her eyes and rolled her neck as she relaxed into the ripples playing off the edges of the rocks that surrounded them. Tormund found himself overcome just watching her.
They floated together only inches from each other, their toes barely touching the bottom, their hands clasped together never leaving one another. For a long while they said nothing, simply enjoying the closeness of each other. Again, it seemed they were the only two people that had ever existed. Unable any longer, not to touch her, Tormund reached out and stroked back a piece of Brienne's hair that had fallen into her eyes. She leaned into his hand, glorying in his touch.
He exhaled slowly, hypnotized by her. "You are so beautiful." He affirmed, unable to take his eyes from her.
Brienne suddenly grew still at his words. Her eyes, which threatened to brim with tears, fell from his face. Her shoulders dropped in defeat. "Oh please." She begged, shaking her head dejectedly. "Don't call me that." She implored.
Innately sensing Brienne's distress, Tormund grew worried. "Why? What's wrong?" He asked concerned, still refusing to let go of her hands which floated limply in the water.
Brienne looked away, ashamed. She took a breath to begin to explain why she could not bare his complement, but found she could not make a voice reach her lips. He moved closer to comfort her, sliding his hands up her arms. He glided his reassuring touch from her fingers to her elbows, and then up further to draw her into his embrace. Somehow, perhaps bolstered by his reassuring touch, Brienne found the courage to tell him her painful memories.
"No one that I've ever known has considered me...beautiful." She confessed, still unable to lift her face to him. "From the time I was a girl, everyone sneered at me and laughed at me." Her eyes were distant recalling her past. "Finally, they became even more cruel. Brienne the Beauty, they called me. Never to my face, mind you. Always behind my back. Of course, they could not openly insult The Evenstar's daughter." She paused, choking on the recollection. "It was far from a compliment." She recounted bitterly. "It was a joke. I was a joke." Brienne said, her voice failing to a whisper. Tormund's blood began to boil at those who had tortured Brienne. He wished he could tear them all limb from limb with his bare hands. His heart ached for her.
"I have never fit the southern ideal of beauty, and no one ever let me forget it." Brienne tried to peer at him bravely through her heavy eyes, but knew her efforts fell terribly short. The tears which rested upon her lashes were evidence of her pain.
Tormund did not say a single word for quite a while. He made no sound at all. He simply laid his forehead against Brienne's and held her close, hoping just the act of his affection could cure all of her hurt. He knew it that truly it could not. She grabbed his wrists and leaned into him, happy he was not backing away.
"Don't you see." He whispered. "That's exactly what makes you so..." He paused, trying to think of a different phrase that would not cause her grief, but he could not. There was no other way to describe her. "...Beautiful." Tormund pronounced, intent on reclaiming for her the only word that would do justice to the woman he loved. He grinned as he shook his head, unable to imagine anything in the world more breathtaking than the woman before him.
"You southerners, and your silly ideas." He smirked. "Why would anyone want some frail pitiful little thing who can do nothing but sit by the fire and sew, or who would die bringing a man's children into the world?" He laughed heartily. "Up North, we like our women to be strong so they can fight alongside us, and protect our families, and kick our asses."
He playfully nudged Brienne's forehead once more before he brought his lips to hers and kissed her tenderly. When their lips parted, he gazed at her earnestly. "Please try to understand." He begged. "When I call you that, it is only because you are the lovliest, most extraordinary vision I have ever laid my eyes upon." He smiled, in awe of her.
When Brienne looked up at him, her eyes were filled with tears. As she raised her face large droplets slid from behind her lids and trailed down her cheeks, dripping into the water. Overcome with love for him, and amazed at the depth of his love for her, Brienne was suddenly filled with shame. She looked intently at Tormund and her pained expression worried him.
"I have to ask you something." She prefaced nervously.
"Anything." He smiled at her agreeably.
Unable to face him, Brienne eyed the ripples that formed between them, and broke upon his skin. "I hurt you." She whispered, her voice betraying the regret she felt when she spoke. "That night...at Winterfell...after the battle." Her words were halting as she recalled images of his face and realized he had been heartbroken. "I hurt you...didn't I?" She could no longer hold back her tears. Brienne tried to pull her hands from Tormund's grasp, not feeling worthy to hold onto him any longer. He would not let her go.
He squeezed her fingers tighter, trying to reassure her. "Of course, my heart was broken when you chose..." He trailed off, unwilling to speak the other man's name over his time with Brienne. He would instead show her why none of that mattered now. "I loved you." He smiled, remembering every moment he had watched her hopefully. "Yes, I wanted you to choose me, but..." he paused. "It was your choice to make." He affirmed. "More than anything, I wanted you to be happy. Even if that meant you were with someone else." Staring intently at her, his vow attested to the strength of his love.
Brienne's gaze found his adoring eyes, and held them for a long while. She was uncertain how to speak the next thought that troubled her. Tormund noticed the sadness sweep over her face again.
"What is it?" He prodded. "Please tell me." He feared what she might say.
Taking a deep breath, Brienne began her confession slowly. "I...I gave something away that night." She was mortified and could no longer bare his adoration. She did not feel she deserved it, but she forced herself to continue. "Something that should have been yours." Bitter tears began to find their way down her cheeks.
"What?" He did not understand.
She reddened with embarrassment and shame. "My...My..." She breathed deeply again. "My maidenhead." She looked away quickly.
"Your what?" He questioned confused. He had never heard that word before.
Confessing her shame, Brienne tried to explain. "Before that night...I was a..." she paused. She dreaded actually voicing it. "I had never..." Her eyes pleaded with him to understand so she would not have to continue.
He watched her for a moment, still baffled. Then in an instant, realization struck him. "Oh." He smiled. In fact, he began to laugh. Brienne's pained expression turned into her own confusion as he chuckled.
Tormund pulled Brienne even closer to him. "Southerners." He mumbled, shaking his head in amusement. "Brienne." He began. "You'd be hard pressed to find a Free Folk woman who's still a...maiden... on her wedding day." He smiled. "And usually it wasn't given to the bloke she's marrying." He noticed Brienne seemed a little shocked at that idea. "We don't worry about that." He kissed her temple. "I don't care who got to you first." He said, pulling back to look her straight in the eyes. "As long as I'm the last." It was his eyes now that pleaded with her. "I would have waited a thousand lifetimes for you." He raised her hands to his lips and kissed them softly.
Brienne raise her eyes hopefully to him. "Does that mean..." She faltered. "You still...?"
"Love you?" He finished for her. His face grew serious and his eyes penetrated deep into her very core. He gently took her face in his hands as they floated, and smiled tenderly. "My beauty. I love you more than ever." He told her.
Brienne's face seemed to light the entire cave. Her smile glowed like the brightest ray of sunlight Tormund had ever seen. She leaned into him and could no longer bare even the small distance between them. Her arms slipped comfortably around his neck. She wanted to cry, but this time it was tears of joy that choked her throat. "I love you." Brienne told Tormund happily. "Oh Gods, I love you!" She declared to him, breathlessly. Brienne had never said that to a man before. Not even Jaime. However, in that moment, alone with Tormund needing the feel of him on her flesh, and wishing to be nowhere else in the entire world, Brienne wanted to shout her emotions from the highest mountain top. She, Brienne of Tarth, daughter of the Evenstar and heir to Evenfall, a knight of the Seven Kingdoms, had fallen desperately in love with Tormund Giantsbane. She clung to him as if he were her only claim on life itself, starring longingly into his adoring eyes, and saw her future.
Finally, their lips met. Fingers caressed the curves of their muscles, straining to be even nearer. Mouthes searched each other, hungry and yearning. Pulses quickened as their bodies felt what their hearts had just confessed. Aching for him, Brienne brought her legs up around Tormund as he backed her against a smooth slick outcropping of rock at the edge of the pool. He braced himself with his palms against the boulder, and pinned her against the slab with the pressure of his thick muscular body. She leaned her head back in ecstasy as his hungry mouth explored her throat and then moved down to enjoy her breasts. His body already rocking against her, she felt him hard on the sensitive nerves between her legs. She clutched at his shoulders and neck, and then slid her trembling hands into his hair.
Barely able to fill her lungs Brienne gasped into his ear. " I need you," she begged.
Eagerly ready to answer her plea he slid himself inside her slowly but firmly, exhaling sharply from the pleasure. Brienne answered him with a low velvety moan. She raised her hips to him even more and tightened her legs around him, driving him deeper into her. Tormund's hands descended down her sides, clasped her hips, and he began to thrust himself into her. He groaned as his body filled every inch of her.
Brienne's cries of passion grew louder as each forceful move of him crashed into her. Her nails dug into his back, causing him such sweet pain. The warm water splashed around them, drenching them and amplifying their actions. He felt her breasts heaving against his chest. Her breath washed over him as she gasped at his neck. Gone from his kiss for too long, she lifted her face to his, searching for his lips. She found them equally longing and worked her tongue against his. She tasted so sweet that he lapped her up like a starving man.
Her grasp tightened on his skin, and a long luxurious wail rose from her throat as she reached her peek. It drove him to the edge of his passions and he exploded into her, groaning with a sultry relief. Their lungs screaming for oxygen, they fell back against the outcropping, and shared a delicious kiss.
———————————————
Brienne and Tormund awoke the morning after, warm and happy in each other's arms. The thermal cavern had been an oasis in the frozen North. After making love in the hot spring, they had sprawled on the rocky floor of the cave, savoring the feeling of being together. Brienne had lain awake long after Tormund had fallen asleep listening to the sounds of her lover in his slumber, and feeling dreamily fulfilled. Her life had taken an unexpected turn, but not an unwelcome one.
She laid with her head on his chest for most of the night, reveling in the rise and fall of his breathing. Her ear pressed against his skin, she could hear the rush of air into his lungs and then another as he exhaled long and slow. His heartbeat was the most beautiful music she had ever heard. For the first time in weeks, she thought of him, of Jaime Lannister. She had never told Jaime that she loved him. Had she loved him? Did she even have the chance? She remembered how she felt with him. They had been close yes. More than friends really. The respect and admiration they felt for one another was genuine, for sure. There had been passion when they had succumbed to their lust. But love? Had there been love? She was no longer certain.
It had never been like this. Jaime's kiss was frantic and frenzied. As if he was trying to devour her while he could. Tormund's kiss on her mouth was passionate and ardent, as if removing his lips from was a physically pain he could not bear. Jaime's touch was possessive. It seemed his fingers were trying to cling to her like he knew it would not last. Tormund's embrace was soft, gentle. He made her feel like a rare treasure that he did not feel worthy to hold. Tormund did not rush. He did not need to. There had always been someone else between Jaime and her. The one, who in the end, had ultimately triumphed. For the first time she was glad Jaime had left her. Tormund was her future, one that Brienne wanted desperately. She dreamed of all it could hold as she had finally drifted off to sleep.
Brienne awoke with the morning light streaming into the cave, and Tormund kissing her temple. She stirred slowly, and tightened her grip across him. He breathed in her scent deeply and wrapped his arms firmly around her.
"Let's stay here forever." He coaxed.
Brienne entwined her fingers in his and held his hand. She nestled closer into the crook of his shoulder. "I do like the sound of that." She grinned dreamily enjoying the picture he painted.
They laid there for quite some time, wishing they truly could remain in the hidden grotto, but knowing that too much depended on the success of their work. Brienne squirmed in Tormund's arms as her stomach growled. So intent had they been on each other the previous evening, that they had not eaten dinner. "Are you hungry?" He laughed.
"Yes." She smiled. "Starved!"
Sitting up and holding her for a few moments more, he kissed her bare shoulders. She leaned against him and wrapped her arm backward around his neck. "Let me make you something?" He asked. They had brought supplies from Castle Black which the extreme cold was keeping nicely frozen in their saddle bags.
"Hmm." She nodded. "I would love that." She liked the idea of letting him take care of her for a while.
"I love you." He said, kissing her neck.
She turned and brought her hand to his face, resting it on his cheek and staring into his eyes. "And I love you." She declared. "So very much."
His answer was another long slow kiss. They parted reluctantly and rose to their feet. Brienne dressed quickly in only her plain garments, leaving her armor on the ground where Tormund had placed it the night before. She pulled on her boots and swung her thick cloak around her shoulders. "I need to go outside for a few minutes," she told him bashfully. She needed to relieve herself, but her modesty prevented her from telling him exactly the reason she needed some privacy. "I...I need to..." she trailed off.
"Piss?" Tormund asked bluntly.
Brienne laughed and rolled her eyes. "Yes." She giggled. "If you must know."
Tormund let out a shout of merriment at her adorable embarrassment. He took her by the arm and walked her to the entrance of the cave. "Be careful, and don't go too far. It can get dangerous up here if you don't know your way around."
Brienne gave him a reassuring look of adoration. " I promise." She agreed. "I won't be long."
Once outside in the frigid air, Brienne noticed that the cave entrance created a small wooded mound in the landscape. She began to walk around the base of the formation, not wanting to be too close to the cavern when she picked a spot. As she rounded what she guessed was the opposite side from where they had entered, she began to loosen her clothing. She had not managed to completely undo the closures on her britches when she heard the crunching of snow and the loud cracking of branches behind her.
Brienne turned quickly and then froze at the site that met her terrified eyes. The largest, sturdiest bear she had ever seen was stalking her path. It's fur was as white as the snow. Even on all fours, it stood taller than she did. It paws were as big around as wash tubs. Brienne grabbed for her sword. It was not at her side. Thinking she would only be a few moments, she had left it in the cave. She cursed herself for her carelessness as she stood motionless, afraid to breath. The bear sniffed and pawed at the ground along which she had walked, and hastened its gate as it moved closer to her. Finally, the ferocious beast seemed to realize she was directly in front it. It looked up, sniffed the air and stared at her, fury and hunger in it's black eyes. Brienne pressed herself as close to the rocks behind her as she could. She remembered Tormund in the cave, waiting for her return.
'Stay in the cave.' Brienne thought to him, knowing he would eventually come looking for her. 'Don't come out here.' She tried to will him as the bear inched closer to her.
In her absence Tormund had busied himself preparing a feast for his love to break her fast. He had skewered two legs of mutton and set them to roast over the fire. He laid out a loaf of bread and some wine. As he stepped back to survey the romantic meal for two, he realized that Brienne had been gone too long. Fear gripped him and a thousand terrible things ran through his mind. It was then that he heard the sound that chilled the blood in his veins. It was the roar of a very angry bear. He grabbed his sword, not even bothering to cloak himself against the cold. Panicked, he ran out of the cave to search for Brienne.
Brienne's terror grew as the bear's ferocious roar seemed to cut through her. Finding a loose rock under her hand, she frantically threw it at the animal, hoping it would scare the vicious predator away. Her actions only made it angrier. Her mind traveled back to another bear. Her fear in the bear pit at Harrenhal had not even been this intense. She remembered that as she had faced down that huge brown bear she had somehow known that she would survive the encounter. Then Jaime had appeared, and had saved her. Her greatest fear now, was of Tormund appearing along the path and that the bear would rip him to shreds. She prayed that if one of them was to feel the wrath of this creature, that it would be her. The bear stood only a few feet from her. It raised it gigantic paw ready to strike, it's razor sharp claws glinting in the morning light.
From above her on top of the knoll, Brienne heard a fierce blood yell. She looked up to see Tormund hurling himself on top of the bear, his sword already held high. Her heart filled with dread as he landed atop of the surprised animal. "Tormund!" Brienne screamed as she watched him straddle the fierce creature. The bear began to twist and writhe, trying to rid itself of its unwanted rider. Tormund grabbed a mound of fur in order to keep from being thrown. Brienne pressed herself even tighter against the outcropping to avoid the thrashing bear. It slammed itself against the wall a few feet from her trying to knock Tormund from its back.
Brienne lost site of him, and she feared he had been crushed against the boulders that formed the back side of their cave. She fell to her knees in the snow, praying he was unharmed. When the bear reared up again she saw Tormund still hanging on, gripping tightly with his legs around the giant bear's neck. This time, however, his sword was raised high above his head. His face filled with hate at the monster who had nearly killed Brienne, Tormund plunged his sword into the animals head. The bear let out a horrifying death scream, as Tormund's weapon sank deep into its brain. Tormund twisted the blade with all his force to ensure the animal's demise. The bear's ghastly howl, turned into a choked whimper as the last of its life left it. The hulking carcass collapsed to a heap in the drifts.
Brienne clung to the boulders, fighting to find breath as Tormund climbed down from the behemoth he had just slain to save her. He ran to her and fell to his knees, clutching her to him. Brienne closed her eyes in relief and held tightly to him still shaking with fear. He stroked her hair, unwilling to let her go. He squeezed his own eyelids shut to chase away the image of what might have happened. When finally they could move again, he brought his hands up to hold her face. She grabbed onto his forearms, as if clinging to a lifeline.
"I should never have let you come out here alone." He said, knowing all too well the dangers of the North with which she was unfamiliar.
"I wasn't thinking." Brienne said regretfully. "I didn't bring my sword." Her mind flashed to the horrible image of him attacking the gigantic snow bear. "You could have been killed." She whispered, still terrified.
"No." He scoffed. "It'll take more than a little bear to kill me." He joked. "But I'm going to have to be much more careful with you." He smiled at her and she realized his words were a vow. She had been returned to him unharmed and he was not going to take any chances of losing her again. He kissed her deeper and more passionately than he ever had before.