- Alice's
Words from himgot stuck within me, and it has been an hour, but I stayed where he left me. Sitting on the bench, watching every person walk by and patients finish their therapies.
A sigh went through me, my eyes looked at the leaves swaying as the wind blows them continuously.
"Because of me, huh?"
Chaeyoung, my sister, I never...
Right, I have never seen her smile while being with us...
Or have she really been with us? It's a rare meal to have her sit in her supposedly seat every meal we have, it' usually just me, father and mother. I never wondered why she never goes with us, thinking of it now... makes me feel regret.
I... should have at least invited her.
Tears began forming, but I have to keep myself so I decided to walk back in the hospital. I walked back to her room and to my surprise, my body froze as soon as I opened the door. The sight of each machine and equipment stopped me, and gripped in my heart that it even skipped a beat for a moment. I can't even blink... when my eyes landed on her.
"When was the last time we talked?"
"When was the last time we bonded?"
"When was the last time I acted as an older sister towards you?"
"When was the last time... I saw you happy?"
I'm usually busy, despite being a doctor occupies so much time, I still have enough time to go home to our house. I would take meals with our parents and sleep at least 7 hours before entering the next day. I have a lot of time to spend with them, with her, but for how many years, I never had been so close to her, not even physically, literally.
I, slowly, enter the room. My eyes haven't left her yet. And I as I had a closer look on her...
"I can't even remember properly if you've been this thin before this."
She's thin, days of being unconcious, even if there's the help of fluids and medicines, eating will never be replaced by anything to give a person a healthy body. She's... simply thin, like she had never eaten even before the incident. And she's full of machines around her, the sound of ECG machine is echoing and...
"Hey..."
I'm a doctor... but even us, get desperate at time.
I, with a little hesitation held her hands. It's cold, her hands are. I could feel her bones through a simple rub of my thumb, her skin is following the movements of my thumb. The muscles had shrunk already, if this will remain for weeks, she might really lose it. Her medications are not enough to keep up to what her body needs as of the moment.
I can't help but to bite my lower lip at the thought I had.
A patient like her should wake up in immediate time or they'll lose it in a matter of not being supported enough by direct and natural nutrients. Their immune system will break down slowly that will cause for a lot more disease to enter their bodies or just simply not be able to repair the damages that their bodies had.
"Chaeyoung-ah..."
Her name, unintentionally, went though out of my lips.
"You have to wake up now."
I said, with anticipation.
"Hey."
Still rubbing her cold, thin hand, I tried...
Her eyes are shut close, her breathing is slower than normal and her heart beats keeps on changing at the low range making it abnormal. There are still no signs of waking up even after that one, that one must just be an attempt of her body, supposedly trying to gain the energy she needs.
"Wake up, we have to fix thi-..."
At that moment, the firm composure I have, collapsed without a hint.
Everything began to sink in, and my ego had shockingly begun to accept it, that we're actually one of those who are at fault towards this event of her life. We are involved to whatever she felt and is feeling. This case is the result of years of treating her like no one. This is... also myfaut.
We're sisters and yes...
I would admit, things became a competition between the both of us since we're kids, since the day I realized that our parents are getting more fond of her before. I was childish to that level of I'm doing everything to be the one who our parents praise every day. I know, I know it is so immature of me to do so. I was just a kid before who loses attention from our parents because of her, and as someone who I know is capable of reaching the standards, I did everything and became the perfect daughter.
Never did I notice that being that childish self of me became the real me, that I, now, forgot what is the true meaning of happiness, sisters and family.
I, now, forgot what may real purpose is.
Thinking about all of it, I retreated back my hands and stood up. Still looking at her, I stated...
"I'm the perfect daughter..."
"So then I will play that role till the end."