Jess trudged down the drive carrying her basket, her other hand holding her scarf tight. The wind had picked up that morning and not only was it bitterly cold, the powdery snow that had fallen during the snowstorm was now blowing off the trees, surrounding her with mini bursts of snowfall and driving icy flakes down the back of her neck.
She was grateful she’d woken up to an empty house with Doug and Uncle Jonathon already at work. After the bombshell of Doug admitting he was in love with her the previous night, she was dreading seeing him. How awkward was it going to be being in the same room with him, knowing he was nursing a broken heart? She was sure he was going to be bitter and angry with her, probably for a long time.
She was still trying to make sense of how it could have happened. Had she caused him to fall in love with her somehow? Maybe she shouldn’t have been so affectionate with him or showed him how much she cared about him. But in all the time she’d spent with him, she’d never suspected his feelings for her were any deeper than her feelings for him. She just wanted to see Marty, she thought with a sigh. He’d help her figure out what to do about this terrible mess.
When she reached the spot to enter the woods, she surveyed the snow bank on the side of the road that was taller than she was. With another sigh, she began to scramble up the incline but it was difficult. She had to use her hands to keep from falling while trying to keep the contents of her basket from being dumped out.
Once she made it over, she sank knee deep into the snow. Taking her first step, she wasn’t able to raise her foot high enough and fell forward into the powder. Struggling to get back into a standing position without being able to use her hands to help push her up, she could feel tears of frustration forming. It was obvious this was going to be even more difficult than she’d expected. But she had to persevere, she decided firmly, and wiped away the tears. She had to make it to the cabin so she could see Marty.
Looking at her watch, she noted the time so she’d know how long it took her. The last thing she needed was to arrive home after Doug and Uncle Jonathon. With a steely determination, she began forcing her way through the snow.
When she finally reached the cabin nearly an hour later, she was out of breath and sweating. Kicking away the snow by the door, she let herself in. After she closed it, she looked at the darkened fireplace, listening to the silence. The last time she’d been there, she and Marty had kissed. It had been a magical few hours, and hoped she’d get to experience it again today. Even though she was alone in the cold, quiet cabin, she felt better.
After building both fires, she wrapped herself in a blanket and sat on one of the chairs to wait, thinking about what she should tell Marty. She knew when she shared the details of what had happened when Uncle Jonathon caught her coming home, he’d be angry and concerned for her. But when she told him about Doug, he was going to be even more upset.
She’d admitted to Doug that she loved Marty and that he loved her, and even though she’d never realized it until that moment when she’d blurted it out, she knew in her heart it was true. Remembering how jealous she’d felt when she thought Marty was dating Sharon, she wondered how he’d react to hearing that Doug was in love with her. Would he be angry enough to want to confront Doug?
It wasn’t going to be pleasant for him to hear, but she didn’t think she could keep it from him. Her home life had turned into a disaster and she needed him to know about all of it so he could help her. She’d just have to make sure he understood how dangerous it would be for both of them if he tried to step in and take care of things himself.
When it got closer to the time Marty would arrive, she went to the kitchen to set out their food, then went to the window that overlooked the clearing. She watched for him, feeling more impatient with each passing minute. But he was bound to be late. He was going to have just as difficult a time fighting through the snow to get to the cabin as she had, she reminded herself.
She paced back and forth while looking at her watch every few minutes, trying to ease her nervous energy when a terrible thought occurred to her. Maybe he wasn’t coming at all. No, that couldn’t be true, she decided firmly. He’d do anything he could to get there. Perhaps he’d just been delayed, maybe because he’d been more busy than usual at the drugstore. But the longer he took, she’d have even less time to talk to him.
When the moment came that she could no longer postpone leaving, she went to the kitchen with a heavy heart. Looking at the food on the table, she decided she’d leave it out for him. When he arrived later that evening, he was bound to be hungry. After locating a pencil, she found a scrap of paper and wrote a quick note.
Dear Marty,
I’m sorry I had to leave before you got here, but I’ll see you tomorrow.
She hesitated as she considered how she should end it. Should she write ‘Love, Jess’ like she normally did when she ended letters? Perhaps that was too much. They should at least talk about their feelings before she wrote the word love in a message to him, she decided.
Enjoy the food and take care,
Jess
She left it on the table and then damped down the fires. After bundling up, she went outside, casting a longing glance at the spot where Marty would appear, but it was empty. Pulling her scarf tight, she set off across the clearing, retracing her steps. At least the path she’d already created made walking slightly easier.
By time the black car pulled into the garage, she had the table set and was ready to set out a reheated meatloaf and mashed potatoes. She watched Uncle Jonathon and Doug get out of the car with her stomach twisting in nervous knots. Uncle Jonathon strode purposefully to the house while Doug followed, looking grim with his shoulders stooped, and she turned away, feeling even worse.
She’d been dreading dinner all day, but now that she was about to be in the same room with both of them for the first time, she felt sick. How was her uncle going to act around her? How would Doug? But even more distressing was the thought that Uncle Jonathon might figure out what was going on between them. If he could get so out of control and angry when he thought she was involved in a relationship with James, how terrible would his reaction be if he knew his own son was in love with her?
Setting the last of the food on the table, she heard footsteps as Uncle Jonathon and Doug entered the dining room.
“Hello, Jessica,” Uncle Jonathon said, approaching the table.
“Hello,” she replied without lifting her head. Doug was silent as he went to his place and she avoided looking at him.
“This looks very nice. Thank you,” Uncle Jonathon said, surveying the table as he sat.
“Uh, you’re welcome,” she replied with surprise. That may have been the first compliment he’d ever paid her. Was this his way of trying to make it up to her for the what he’d done, she wondered as she laid her napkin in her lap.
Once he’d served all three of them, Uncle Jonathon began talking to Doug about the mine like he always did. While Doug sat hunched over his plate, murmuring one word answers, Jess kept her attention firmly on her food, and tried to ignore the awkwardness in the room.
It was clear Doug was upset, and the tension between them was palpable. She couldn’t understand how her uncle didn’t seem to notice, but as usual, his focus was entirely on himself rather than those around him. At least it worked to her and Doug’s advantage. She just hoped Doug would get over his broken heart as soon as possible, before his father figured everything out.
As soon as dinner was over, she escaped to the kitchen to do the dishes. While she washed, she looked out the window at the dark forest beyond the garage. Marty was out there in the cabin, and she desperately wanted to see him. But she knew she didn’t dare. She would never take a chance on being caught out at night again. She’d just have to wait to see him until tomorrow, she thought with a sigh.
~
“Good morning,” Jess heard the next day while she was eating breakfast, and lifted her head to see Dorothy Lindstrom walk in from the butler’s pantry carrying a bucket and a mop.
“Morning,” she replied while Dorothy poured the contents of the bucket into the sink.
Jess slowed her eating, while she watched her put away the bucket and mop. Then she gathered a spray can of furniture polish and a handful of rags, and Jess felt grateful. That would keep her busy for a long time, long enough for Jess to make meatloaf sandwiches for her and Marty.
Mrs. Lindstrom’s daughter was a round faced farm girl in her early twenties with a cheerful disposition. Jess appreciated the fact that she was intent on completing her tasks as quickly as possible so she could get back to her farm chores. It meant she was too busy to hang around Jess, asking a lot of questions about what she was doing when she left the house.
This time when she walked through the woods, it didn’t take nearly as long. Not only had she cleared a passable path, by now the snow was hardening and much easier to walk on. While she made her way to the cabin, she wondered if Marty had written a message back to her last night explaining why he’d been late to the cabin. She hoped so, and when she entered the cabin, she went straight to the kitchen with excitement. But as soon as she saw the table, she stopped. The food and note were exactly how she’d left them. Marty had never come.
How could that be, she wondered as she was overwhelmed with despair. Maybe the roads had been worse than she thought, and that’s why he wasn’t able to make it. At least he would be there today, she decided firmly, trying to console herself. It had been three days since the storm, plenty of time for the roads to be completely plowed.
But then the time for Marty to show up came and went, and he still wasn’t there. He had to know she’d be at the cabin waiting for him. He wouldn’t just stay away. They hadn’t been apart for this many days for a very long time. Something was wrong. Walking home while she wiped away tears, she tried to come up with a legitimate reason for him to stay away, but nothing came to her, and she began fear that something had happened to him since she’d last called the drugstore.
Throughout dinner with Doug and Uncle Jonathon, who still didn’t seem to notice how sad his son was, Jess could only think of Marty. Maybe he got hurt while he was making deliveries in the deep snow and that’s why he wasn’t able to come. She didn’t want to imagine that was the case. It was possible there was still too much work for him to be able to leave the drugstore. Tomorrow he would come for sure. He had to.
That night she had one dream after another where she was fighting her way through the snowstorm, desperately trying to find Marty. The snowdrifts were too deep, keeping her from being able to move very far. Blinded by the snowflakes, she called out for him, but the howling wind blew her voice away. Waking up feeling unsettled, she decided she couldn’t live with the uncertainty any longer. She had to find out if he was okay.
Going to the telephone as soon as she was dressed, she dialed the number for Dwyer’s Drugstore. While she listened to it ring, she squeezed her eyes shut, and prayed once again he was alright.
“Hello?” Instead of Mr. Dwyer’s deep voice, it was a woman. Jess guessed it was Mrs. Schmidt, the woman who worked the soda fountain.
“Is Marty Cappellini there? I need to speak to him.”
“He’s in the back,” she replied, and Jess slumped with relief. “Hold on while I get him.”
She heard the receiver being set down and while she waited, she was elated. He was okay, and she was finally going to get to talk to him for the first time in days.
“I’m sorry, dear,” Mrs. Schmidt said apologetically a moment later. “I thought he was back there but he’s out making deliveries.” Hearing the words, Jess felt a tightening in her chest as despair overwhelmed once again. “Would you like me to give him a message?” she asked gently.
“Um, yes,” she said shakily. “Can you tell him –.” She paused as she tried to think of something. How could she leave him a message that wouldn’t give away too much information? Mr. Dwyer couldn’t know she was the one calling him.
“Yes?” Mrs. Schmidt prompted.
“Can you tell him the friend that was waiting to see him yesterday, will be at the same place today?”
“Uh, do you want to give me a name?”
“He’ll know who it is,” Jess said, hoping Mrs. Schmidt couldn’t hear the tears in her voice.
“Well, alright. I’ll tell him.”
“Thank you.” She hung up as soon as Mrs. Schmidt said good bye.
He’d be there today, she decided determinedly, straightening her back while she wiped her tears. And when she saw him, she’d finally find out what had kept him away. The most important thing was that she now knew he hadn’t been hurt.
Later that day, she lit the fires in the cabin, and then paced back and forth while she waited. All thoughts of what she would tell him about Uncle Jonathon and Doug were pushed out as she worked hard to keep the idea that he might not come out of her head.
When she heard the sound of the door opening, her heart leapt in her chest and she turned around. To her profound relief, Marty was closing the door and stomping snow off his boots.
“Marty!” She ran and threw herself at him just as he turned around. Hugging him tight, she breathed deeply, smelling the cold winter air and his own familiar scent on his coat. “Thank goodness you’re here!” she cried, and squeezed him even tighter. “What happened? Why haven’t you come?” she asked, and he let go of her.
“It’s been busy because of the snow,” he said, unbuttoning his coat as he went to the fireplace.
“I’m glad that’s all it was. I was so worried. I’ve really missed you!” she said with a sigh, drinking him in while he held his hands close to the flames and rubbed them together. “So much has happened! I have to tell you.”
“I have something I have to tell you too,” he said soberly, straightening as he turned around.
When she saw his face, she immediately knew whatever it was, it wasn’t good. There was a tension in his body and his face was pale and grim. Until that moment, she hadn’t noticed the dark circles under his eyes.
“What is it?” she asked with alarm, going to him. He wouldn’t meet her eyes while she searched his, and it made her even more concerned.
“I’m not coming back here anymore.”
“What?” she gasped, suddenly feeling like all the oxygen had been sucked out of her lungs.
“I’m not coming here anymore,” he repeated more firmly, finally meeting her eyes. Instead of the warmth she’d always seen in them, they were hard and closed off. She was finding it difficult to breathe and the fear she’d felt a moment ago was beginning to turn into panic.
“M – Marty, I can’t believe you’re saying this,” she stammered. “Why aren’t you coming back?”
“There’s no point to it.”
“How can you say that?” she cried. This wasn’t making any sense at all. “What do you mean, there’s no point? What – what about your school work?” she asked, forcing herself to sound more calm so she could reason with him. “How are you going to –?”
“Do you think I can’t figure it out on my own?” he growled, anger flashing in his eyes. “Is that what you’re saying?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all,” she pleaded, wiping away a tear that had escaped with her shaking hand. “You know I think you’re smart.” She gently placed her hand on his arm, but he moved away, going back to the fireplace. “Did – did something happen? Is that why you’re –?”
“No, nothing happened!” he shouted as he rounded on her. “I already told you why!”
“Marty, please! I really need you right now,” she begged, but his face remained stony. “I – I love you, Marty. I’ve loved you for a long time and I know you love me. Whatever is going on, we can –.”
“You’re wrong about that!” he said loudly, interrupting her.
“Wrong about what?” she whispered as a cold dread crept through her.
“I don’t love you.”
There was a rushing sound in her ears while she stared at him open mouthed with shock. He’s lying. There was no other explanation. Memories came to her of moments they’d shared together; the two of them playing in the water, doing homework at the little table in the kitchen, him holding her, comforting her, hungrily kissing her in front of the fireplace as if he couldn’t get enough of her. How could the boy who’d done all those things now claim he didn’t love her?
And then another memory came to her; the troubled look in his eyes when he’d asked her what they were doing when they kissed. He’d been the one to suggest they stop, making some stupid joke about their lips getting tired. She’d been too happy at the time to notice, but now she understood that’s when everything changed.
He didn’t think they should be a couple, she realized. He didn’t think he was good enough for her. And even though they’d made plans to escape to college where they would finally be free to be together out in the open, he was going to give up. She couldn’t believe he would throw everything they had away, but from the steeliness in his brown eyes, she knew that’s exactly what he was going to do. He was going to leave her and break her heart forever, and there was nothing she could do to stop him.
“You coward!” she screamed, slapping him hard across the face as the enormity of his betrayal crashed down on her.
His hand flew up to cover his reddening cheek while his eyes filled with shock and pain, but she didn’t care. Glaring at him while her palm stung and her entire body vibrated, she waited for him to explain himself. Then his eyes became hard again, and he turned and walked to the door. When it closed behind him, she fell to the floor, sobbing as her entire world shattered.
****
Yes, that just happened. I'll give you all a minute to collect yourselves. What do you make of what Marty did? Is this the end of Jess and Marty? Will Doug step into space Marty left open? What will happen next? I can't wait to hear what you think!
Thank You For Reading! I can't tell you how much I enjoy sharing this story with you, and all of your lovely comments and encouragement make it that much better! If you enjoyed this chapter, please consider giving it a vote! The picture is Johnny Crawford aka Marty and the video is Brenda Lee singing her hit, I'm Sorry.