I am dancing through life
Crawling and dragging towards the light
My hands are not enough
Neither my legs or my feet
Looking down at myself, proud and disgusted at my own self
Why am I not what I want to be?
Strong, powerful and successful
Life comes with big dreams and opportunities
Life takes them away
Tempting us with possibilities and
Stripping you from your own self
What is worse?
I lost myself along the way
Looking for the tiny key
Its intricate designs and beauty
Holds the answer to all my questions
Answer one and I find another
Never satisfied or content
Human nature at it's best
I cannot find the key to acceptance
Unable to accept my own self
Guilty and frustration running through my veins
I dont need nobody
No one at all
But I keep running back to the same block
Who am I?
A psychopath in the making?
Or a hovering spirit?
Be hard on myself seems as the best way
Shake yourself off the pity
Rolling in a self-loathing stream
I am back to where I had started with
Predators laying waiting for their prey
Am my own predator
Waiting for my mistakes
To tear my own skin apart
I bet blood is tasty
Addictive like me
Just a hypothesis like everything else
Question me why, but you wouldn't
I know
Unable to accept myself for liking girls
It's a sin, abomination
Says my father.
Wonder why animals are gay then?
He made them like us
Explain my father, I beg of you
Eating me from the inside
Unable to focus on anything else
Unable to accept my own self
I love the community, I really do
But why is it called a sin, I wonder
Its love, isnt it?
Not merely lust
Seven deadly sins
Am I one of them?
My limbs are tied, am I prideful?
And I am back to the first step
Without answers or reasons.
I dance around these questions like a know-it-all
Wouldn't I ever be good enough?
-Robyn
Date: 15th January 2020