I suddenly feel so sad. And I don't know why.
I feel like I am at the bottom of the ocean, unable to reach the ground.
I feel like I am falling off a plane but I am still falling... or maybe I am frozen in air.
A perfect example of a suspension.
I am scared of heights, ain't that pitiful.
It is supposed to look beautiful up here but I can't find the enjoyment of it.
I am free falling.
Maybe I am just drifting in a vacuum.
No one will ever know. I won't let them.
Or would they ever?
Try reach for me, I am a billion light years away. You will never find me.
I am lost in space.
Success lies ahead. So does victory.
I reach out my hands, it feels far away.
Am I living a fantasy? Is this all real?
What if everything I knew was a mere joke?
What if it was just a experiment gone wrong?
Will I ever be able to live with myself?
Depressing and useless.
I hang on to the lifeboat, hands slipping.
Shouldn't I be doubting my grip?
But I am doubting myself.
Who will stop to see? Nobody.
Everybody is living their own titanic.
Everyone is trying to be the Rose who makes it.
Who am I to stop them?
The beauty of life. Alive one minute. Dead the other.
Time waiting, judging. It ticks away.
Circumstances dance around.
Feels like drunken dancing with it.
What were decisions anyway?
Everything fades away. The leaves, the trees, a flower.
No one stays for anyone. It's all too much to ask.
It all blew up the minute it began.
No, you could never hear me screaming behind the ruckus.
You would never hear the cry for help in the pits of darkness.
Or the shout for freedom in the alleyways.
Blinded by their own personal grief.
Bitterness is a nasty thing. Save yourself. But you wouldn't be able to.
Time is ticking.
Death may see near. And appearances are deceiving.
Find yourself. Before it finds you.
A mission no one ever succeeded.
- Robyn
Note: I have also written this in rants and on my message board.
Date: 13th January 2020