I was surrounded in the darkness, but I was sitting on the ground; I'll be it wet ground. I no longer felt in the air, but in somewhere familiar. Suddenly, the image of a mirror in front of me appears and, almost instinctively, I walk towards it as my feet splash in what I hoped was water.
I tried speaking, but I couldn't. My words were caught in bubbles that I choked up as they floated up into the dark abyss. Was this death?
When I finally looked in the mirror, my eyes were once again of a bright yellow hue with a matching yellow stone in my forehead.
But in an instant, my reflection was gone replaced with a small child that I no longer recognized. She looks up at me and puts her hand on the glass. Her stare was emotionless and cold, but I could see she was analyzing me.
"So, kid, what do you see?" I asked as I sat down on my knees to reach her eye level.
"You're dying," she said matter of factly, "What's it like?"
"You should know. You've already died once," I chuckled. I knew who she was. She was the girl I was in those two years I don't remember anything; the girl I became when I died the first time.
"Darling, who are you talking to?~" a suave Irish accent popped out. The girl turned away from me to look at the man approaching. When he finally came into view, my eyes widened. Jim Moriarty stared at the young girl with a sadistic smile, but then he turned his attention to me; his smile dropped and he clearly rolled his eyes at me.
"Are you what she becomes?" he asks. His voice held clear disgust, "Just another one of those Super Soldiers gone rogue?"
I don't know why, but his words angered me. I loved, I felt emotions, I had control over my actions, I wasn't just a mind-controlled freak!
"You always gave such an easy reaction. Who do you think taught you the game of deductions?~" he teased.
"But who won at life, huh?!" I screamed at him, "You died first!" I don't know why I was so angry, but I was. This man angered me to my core.
"Are you really that mad at me?~ Mad that I left you, just like mummy and daddy?~" he continued to tease. My rage was building up at this man as I hung my head. My fist clenched as this man continued to tease me.
"You really have grown stupid," he laughs, "You can't even tell the water has risen over your mouth." He continues to insanely laugh as my eyes go wide and eventually, I'm completely submerged.
Air, I need air.
No, I don't. I need answers.
I look up, but I was too far underneath the surface. There was no light, no warmth... nothing. Was this what dying felt like? Drowning?
How do I get out of here? Where even was here?
"This is your brain, of course," a new voice spoke. I look for the voice in the darkness, but I couldn't find anyone. "You should know how to navigate your own mind." The voice was strange. It was masculine, yet feminine. It was like the audio had been overlaid several times.
The voices kept talking louder and louder to the point I could feel my ears bleeding. I had tried my best to cover my ears, but that was nearly impossible with only one arm.
The voices began to argue and yell at each other. I couldn't take it. If I was going to die, I wanted to die in peace!
"Shut up! All of you!" I screamed, but their voices were so much more powerful than my own that it seemed as if I had only whispered. But then I began to think for myself. Yes, I wanted to die in peace, but I can't control other peoples' actions.
I gained determination as I began to swim down and eventually, the voices began to get smaller and smaller. As I continued to swim down, there was a dim light. It was dim, but it was definitely there.
I reach it. It's like a giant wall of water, but it was also like a mirror. Without even thinking, I pull myself through the wall and I was suddenly in New York with the sun shining bright. I stood up; I was no longer in that sea of misery. I was soaking wet as water dripped from my body to the ground.
That's when I finally realized what I was wearing. I was only in a hospital gown. I guess that made sense; I was just in the med bay after all.
I take in my surroundings, realizing some parts were blurrier than others. The ground felt so real under my bare feet. My attention shifts however when I hear heavy breaths run past me. That's when I see seven-year-old me running down the street, her feet also bare.
It was so odd seeing my younger self. Her hair was in pigtails and she wore a pink skirt. This really was a different person.
I began to run after her, calling her name, hoping that I'd be able to interact with her just as I had in the mirror, but it was as if I was just a ghost.
She eventually stops at an ally on Madison Ave. She curls up into a ball by a big blue trash can. Her cries were silent, but it was heartbreaking. "Mommy changed her number. She doesn't want me," she sniffled, "Neither does Daddy. How can anyone love me now?"
I sit next to her as I bring my knees to my chest. "Don't worry. They were nobodies anyway," I chuckle as I put my hand on top of her head. She didn't notice, but that was okay. I think I mostly did it for myself anyway. "Soon, you'll find some friends. Now, they may annoy you sometimes and they aren't perfect, but, to be fair, neither are we," I sighed as I remembered the family I had built, "You've already met one of them. I remember now. I remember we gave him a locket that we found in the park. Keep Jordan close, okay?"
I continued to follow her as she aimlessly walked around the large city. She'd stop occasionally to look at the cafes or to just rest her blistering feet. I didn't really realize the pain in my feet until we did stop. I wondered where we were even going. She always seemed in a deep daze when I observed her.
It was weird following myself around the city. She seemed more dead than me and that's saying something. "I wish I knew what was going on," I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair. Then it was as if everything had frozen; like someone had pressed pause on the movie.
Then I see a filing cabinet right in front of me. I cautiously open it to find different files all from my memories. I looked and looked and couldn't find any information on how I knew Jim Moriarty. I'd been looking under J amd M for what felt like hours until an L file fell out of the cabinet. It revealed the night I first realized my mother was leaving. Left. My eyes go wide as I realized that he was in L for left. He left, that's what he said.
I begin searching through the L file, finding it to be the biggest one. Then, I found it; Jim Moriarty's whole file was in my hands. I hesitantly open the file. Questions circled my mind. Did I really want to know what damaged me so badly that I forced myself to wake up? No, I've come so far. I have to know.
I fully open the file to see things suddenly speeding forward in front of me. The scenes change as the little girl walks from place to place, but then it suddenly stops when we're inside a small coffee shop. When I noticed she was sitting at a booth, I sat next to her. Why had it stopped here? Then, in the corner of my eye, I see a short man wearing a blazer and sunglasses walk into the coffee shop. He pulls down his sunglasses just below his eyes as he examines the area around him. That's when he sees her with her dead stare. She hadn't realized his almost predatory glare on her.
"I'll take a coffee. Black, two sugars and a hot chocolate," he says as he winks at us. I could of sworn he could also see me.
He cooly walks over and sits across from us. "Hello, little darling~" he greets with that sadistic smile. I glare, but little Pandora turns her dead stare towards the man. "What is a cute little one like you doing here by herself?" he asks with a fake pout.
"I don't know," she says with an emotionless voice.
"Would you like some food?" he asks with that same fake pout. The thought of food brought something out of the small girl as I saw her realize her own hunger.
"Y-yes please," she quivered as she realized everything hurt. Just then, the server brought over Moriarty's coffee and Pandora's hot chocolate. She looked at it in desperation as she took it to her mouth; she didn't even notice the burning of her tongue as she drank.
Moriarty began to ask little Pandora questions about her home life, but she honestly didn't remember anything. "Well, if there are no mommy or daddy in the picture, I guess I could be daddy~" Her eyes lit up at the concept and I couldn't help but fear for her safety. There was a hole in her heart and the chance for it to be filled in was something she couldn't pass up. I knew because now, we were one. Our hearts and minds were one and I knew what she wanted and I wanted it too.
I looked up at him, eyes wide with hope of a future. I wanted him to take me in as his own. I didn't want to be dead anymore; I wanted to be alive.
Series of memories flash by as I remembered my time with Moriarty. The man had apparently taught me everything I know. He taught me how to deduct, how to shoot a gun, how to be apathetic towards everything, and, generally, how to be an assassin. The man turned me into a weapon and in return, he gave me the affection that I craved.
"Darling, soon this game will be won," Jim told me as we ate breakfast, "And I'll be the winner."
"I know, father. We've been working towards this since you took me in," I said gratefully. I was only nine-years-old and on the day that we would win the game vs Sherlock Holmes would be my birthday. That's what he promised; Moriarty promised that for my birthday, he'd give me the winning title and I could start any game I wanted with Mr. Holmes. I was overly excited for this.
The day finally came. Sherlock would make all of his loved ones believe he was dead and Moriarty and I would go celebrate. I was meant to help with keeping all of the assassins on check as I also had eyes on Jim.
It flashed before my eyes. Moriarty stuck a gun in his mouth and he blew out his own brains, but it was more like he shot it through my heart and once again, I was left. Why was I left over and over again? Once I saw Sherlock jump, I called off all of the other assassins; I didn't even check to look if he was actually dead because I didn't care.
The next thing I knew, I was on a plane. I didn't know why I was on the plane or where I was going. I just stared out the window with that familiar dead stare.
It seemed I was only on autopilot as the next thing I remember was falling in an alley.
I was once again separated from my younger self. I looked at the ten-year-old girl in front of me she was getting closer to my height, but she was an overall mess. Her hair was messier than my own, her eyes were sickly pale, and her pale freckled face was stained with tears. I bet she didn't even know she was crying.
"This isn't right; you need to wake up," I groaned, "This is where you wake up and don't remember anything that has happened! Forget about that sadistic man! He was never doing it for you! Neither were your parents! I know! I know that every parental figure in our life has been shit and selfish and has left us, but why should that stop us from becoming something else?!"
"We become something good; maybe not great, but good!" I told her, "We get friends! A family! And sure, they leave us, but not on purpose. We love them and they love us. They love us."
That's when I noticed something. She was looking at me. Like, full-on looking at me and all I could do was hug her.
🔫🔫🔫
I felt the air rushing past me as I continued to fall from the Avengers Tower. I didn't care though. This was what I was meant to do after all.
Tears of joy and exhilaration began flying upwards. I was finally going to be off this sadistic world!
That's when I saw the Falcon, Iron Man, and War Machine with a net ready to catch me, but I wouldn't let them ruin this for me. "Come on, kid! Hold still! Everything will be okay!" Iron Man yelled to me. I began to laugh as I knew it was a lie.
"I'm sorry you guys! I'm sorry that I have to leave you like how everyone has left me, but it's my turn for once!" I yelled to them, a genuine smile formed on my lips.
When the net was under me, I ripped through it with my super strength. "Come on! I'll just catch her!" Sam yelled.
"Are you nuts?!" Rhodey yelled back.
"Catching her from down here, from the height she jumped from, we'd still kill her!" Tony explained, "We need a net or a trampoline or something!"
I think after a while, I fell asleep. It was the most calm moment I've ever felt and I was falling from floor 72 of a 93-floor building while three superheroes argued around me.
I didn't even notice the land as I had died as soon as I hit the concrete or what I thought was concrete. It was actually Bucky who caught me, but the impact still caused my demise as I had laid dead in his arms.
Now, here I am. In the unknown.
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Hello, my dear readers. Yes, this is the last chapter and yes, Logan is dead. Some readers might not know that this story was used to be something completely different. I wrote the original version of this story when I was in the 6th grade and now I am a freshman in high school. Don't worry, there will be an epilogue and this is not the last you will see of this character! Just like how those 5 other characters from my other books appeared in this book, Logan will appear in theirs as well. So, please, go check out my other books! There is something there for everyone.
With Love,
Sock.