NEW CHAPTER. I REPEAT: NEW CHAPTER. 🗣
omg omg omg y'all me and Mel, and Ezzy, and Ryann
all condone abuse because we know the difference
between abuse and discipline and lacey abuses her
horses by properly training them. 🤩 if you know, you
know. SO the other day someone accused us all of that
shit, and i just wanted to bring it up because in this
chapter, we will see into the dark parts of Scott's
mind, and possibly more as the series goes on. we will
also see how his dog helped him and vice versa as we go on.
i'm writing these things because if i die right now,
I want something in my life to mean something, and
i, nor my friends, do NOT condone things that we
have suffered through. i want to be able to say i said something, even if it's through writing. it's important
to me, though, that you see Scott as more than a
victim.
see him as a human who needs a little extra guidance.
i am trying my best to portray Scott as accurately
as i can, but we must remember that not all
victims are the same, and therefore my experience
will not be the same as Scott's and his will not be
the same as anyone else's.
there will be no qotc, because there will be a follow
up author's note. i'm still not happy with this chapter and I've been working on it since the 11th, but i hope you get something from this all. thank you.
tomorrow's a new day. smile, precious. you made it through another day. thank you for being a strong and beautiful human being.
MAY 28, 2020: I wanted to give Thalia a new ability,
so I'm adding a new scene to this chapter. Yeah,
Scott Reynolds has just been going through it.
PARANORMAL,
CHAPTER EIGHT
"SCOTT, WHAT HAPPENED to your face?", Hal asked. They were all at lunch, and he'd been late joining them. Nearly an hour late, to be exact. And Scott was never late for lunch. But anyone could see why. The boy had a scratch mark on his cheek. You could tell he had tried to cover it up, but there was a bruise forming around his eye.
"I... fell?", Scott lied. Didn't sound like he was sure of it himself. He should have thought up a better excuse than that.
"And it did that?", Thalia asked. Her brother was such an awful liar.
"It was a lot of stairs", Scott mumbled. "I don't have to explain myself to anyone."
"Scott, come on! You're eating with us today!", a perky blonde called out as she approached the table. Vindictive. Manipulative. Controlling.
"Tiff, I just sat down. Can't I at least eat first?" She was always on him about his weight, but he was so hungry...
The blonde rested her hand on his shoulder, nails digging into the skin. No one else would have noticed that she was hurting him though, because he never even flinched. "You're embarrassing me, sweetie. You can talk to your friends anytime", she'd said through gritted teeth.
"Okay..." So he'd left, smile on his face. And you never would have guessed how messed up she had him.
It was Marcus's cry that brought Scott back to the harsh reality around him. One of the armored creatures had kicked him over. Hope some of you can sword fight, Daphne had said. Knights had surrounded them after the spirit's plea. It just had to be knights. What was this, a bad Disney remake? No one knew what they were, and there hadn't been time to figure it out. Not unless they wanted to die anyway. They didn't, of course. The creatures had come in rows. They'd been fighting for nearly an hour. They were all getting tired and worn out. How much longer could any of them keep that up? These things knew what they were doing. They were calculated. In sync. The group... wasn't. Truly. They were the complete opposite. They were uncoordinated, and being frustrated and angry with each other wasn't exactly helping.
When you gained freedom, it was your choice of what you did with it. Yours and yours alone. Scott could have let him die, he could have. He could have been consumed by the darkness that whispered in his ears ever since he'd left the Ether. Nothing. You are a nothing, Scott Reynolds. I made you! And you will be nothing without me.
But you have to decide if you want to live in the darkness.
Being in the Ether was just living in memories of Tiffany over and over again. Letting himself take whatever she dished out, because he would never hit a girl. Letting himself be a perfect pet.
His friends were in a fight and he just stood there. Lost. Wondering what to do. Wondering what was wrong with him. He shouldn't have hesitated. Why had he hesitated? Nothing, nothing, nothing! He didn't want to feel weak anymore. He was tired of it. So tired.
Your fault. It's all your fault! You brought them here!
Scott seemed to move on autopilot. He picked up a sword that had clattered to the floor, once belonging to a fallen knight. This was some real Night At The Museum type shit. The sword was heavy in his hands. Screwup. Scott shoved the sword straight through the knight's chest. The metal froze.
Marcus looked relieved. He blinked tiredly. "Thanks", he panted. Scott simply nodded his head. Maybe one day they would be close again. Maybe one day, he would regain the part of him that he had lost. Leaving the Ether required a sacrifice, and there were some feelings he had been more than happy to give away. When Scott was ready, he would be able to talk to Alex and Marcus with ease again. For now, he just wanted to keep his distance, if he did, the jealousy would surely go away and he wouldn't hurt either of them. They would be happy. When love was in its early stages, it was fragile. Incredibly so. It needed time to grow. It needed to be nurtured, developed. Despite himself and his own bitter feelings, Scott wanted to be sure that the two of them had the time to get that. They deserved that. And he wouldn't screw it up! For once in his life, he would get something right.
Speaking of Alex, he was quick to hurry to Marcus's side. He glanced between the two boys. "Are you guys okay?" Scott gave him a slight smile, but didn't answer. Instead, he left them to their own devices. Alex rested his forehead against Marcus's. "Don't go getting hurt on me", he ordered lightly. "I don't want you to get seriously hurt or something... I don't know what I'd do."
Marcus chuckled lightly. His side still ached a little from being shoved over. Stupid knights had some serious strength behind them. "I promise I won't get seriously injured. You have my word." Marcus would do anything for Alex. And Alex would do anything for Marcus. They had formed something beautiful.
So it really not have been a surprise when Alex leaned forward and caught Marcus in a gentle kiss. Beauty, after all, bloomed from pain and chaos.
Penny and Zoey wound up back to back in the fight. They were tired, and they leaned on each other when they got weak. It was their only option, truly. But somehow, maybe, it would be more than that someday. "I've got your back if you've got mine", Zoey said slowly. She was slightly out of breath from all the fighting.
"Always", Penny grinned. "You go high, I go low?" She was getting tired, and it showed. Zoey nodded. The two girls attacked the approaching suits of armor together, high and low. The two of them, though they hadn't been very close until now, were like a well oiled machine. It was like two puzzle pieces had clicked into place, a perfect fit.
"Guess you're not so bad after all, Wonder Girl", Zoey hummed. "We make a pretty good team."
Thalia was a fierce fighter. Seriously, there was nothing she couldn't do in the field. Today was no different. When she saw Estelle in trouble, she didn't hesitate. Her sneakers skid across the gleaming tiles as she surged forward. In one quick swipe, the knight's head rolled across the floor. The rest of the armor slumped uselessly onto its knees. "Do anything you want me to, but I swear on my life if you ever get hurt..." She trailed off with a sigh.
"I'm a lover, not a fighter!", Beverly shouted in disdain. The small boy kicked the armor in its chest before slamming his sword into its head. He was getting real sick of this shit. But that doesn't mean I'm going down like a punk."
"This would go a lot smoother if we had an actual plan of defense!", Minhyuk announced. He wasn't knocking his friends or anything, but 'run at it and hope you don't miss' wasn't exactly the best plan. Thank God that no one had been hurt.
Daphne looked over at him with a mischievous grin. If he wanted a plan, he had certainly gotten one. A risky one at that. "Hey, I need you to throw me."
The asian boy recoiled. Not out of fear, but out of shock. Had his friend gone crazy? Possibly. "Throw you? Are you insane?"
"Just trust me", Daphne insisted. "Throw me!" Minhyuk was hesitant, but he cupped his hands anyway. Daphne stepped into them, as gently as possible. With a small struggle, he tossed her. Not too high nor too low, but definitely haphazardly. Daphne went soaring. But she was prepared. Doing some sort of fancy flip, she landed on one of the suits of armor and took it down. Daphne ripped its head off its shoulders and held it triumphantly. "Fuck yeah, I'm invincible!", she shouted. Okay, not invincible, but you get the point! She hadn't believed that to actually work. Training with Carmen had come in handy.
"Fancy seeing you here", Lillian said playfully when Danika slid towards her. The curly haired girl had been thrown across the room by one of the knights. She wasn't hurt, but she was a bit disoriented. "You okay?"
"All good", Danika smiled as she stood. "I mean... I think I'm a little burned, in all honesty, from sliding across the floor, but otherwise..."
"You'll be okay", Lillian laughed, helping her up. "You always are."
"I am so sick of being dragged into things like this", Mason grumbled. He and Hal were side by side, taking down knights faster than anyone else. They made a great team. Maybe it was because the two of them had figured out this little thing called communication.
"Are you really?", Hal asked.
"Not to be an idiot or anything, but... If we survive this, do you, wanna like... Go out sometime? With me?", Mason asked nervously.
"Now? You're asking me this now?"
"No time like the present?", Mason said sheepishly.
Hal tried his best not to laugh, though he smiled instead. "I would love to go on a date with you, Mason Reynolds."
It was Athos who took out what they thought was the last one. He was tired, especially after all he'd been through, but that didn't matter. He was tired of the supernatural treating him like a rag doll. He was not some puppet on a string for their sick amusement. He attacked its ankles first, it's knees. It was like the boy had lost it for a split second, attacking relentlessly. "Stay down", he huffed, kicking its helmet away.
Maybe it was because they were so tired that they missed one. Maybe it was because they were all so unfocused. Either way, the heavy clank of armor was impossible to miss. Everything happened so quickly. One moment, Alex was terrified for his life. The next, Scott was there shoving him out of the way. Everything went quiet. That sword had gone straight Scott's stomach. In and out, clean. Before the knight could strike again, Daphne had taken care of it.
For a moment, no one said anything. It seemed they couldn't. Not even Thalia said anything when Scott fell to his knees. She just slowly walked to her brother's side. "I just got you back, I'm not losing you. If you die—"
"Now, who said anything about dying?", Scott chuckled weakly. "I feel fine. I'm just... kind of cold."
Thalia shook her head. "If you die, I will drag you back myself, do you understand me?"
"Yeah, yeah. Fuck the devil and all that." His words were followed by a cough.
"I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news", Zoey said slowly. "But I don't think we're done."
Thalia's tears dripped onto her brother's wound. If she hadn't been so upset at the time thinking he was dead, she would have noticed the golden color. Phoenix tears. She held her brother until his hand went slack around her own. When Thalia stood again, her eyes were literally inflamed. "They're dead", she said threateningly. "They're all dead."
Estelle went to stand closer to the girl, but it was a bit too late for that. Flames engulfed Thalia, spreading out until they swallowed everything in their wake. Her friends were fine. The museum girl was fine. But the knights crumbled into dust as Thalia's feet lifted off the ground. There was a slight boom, and Thalia's abilities stretched out for miles.
Somehow, she smiled joyfully. "This power. I've never felt anything like this before."
Estelle lowered her hand so she could look up at the girl. It felt odd that she was still alive. "Okay, Thalia. They're dead. You can come down now."
"You don't understand, Estelle. I can do anything. I can create life. I can bring Scott back", Thalia rambled.
"Scott's dead. You can't change that."
"I'm dead? I think I missed the memo", Scott frowned, scrunching his small nose. "Why am I dusty?"
"It would appear that Thal has The Gift Of The Phoenix", Daphne observed. "She really can create life. And she cane take it too, if she chose to embrace it."
"Thalia, come on. You're too good to embrace darkness. Come back to me", Estelle pleaded, holding out her hand.
"I could be a God among men", Thalia smirked. Her expression quickly faltered when she looked down at Estelle. "But then I wouldn't have you." Hesitantly, she placed her hand in Estelle's. Slowly, she was lowered to the ground.
Estelle hugged her quickly. "I am so proud of you."
"Great. Are you done throwing a tantrum now? If another thing in this stupid museum attacks me, I am going to lose my shit", Jem growled out. He tossed a device to Estelle. "Wipe that girl's memory and let's go." He picked up the urn on his way out. This had better been worth it.
No one else seemed as stable as he was though. They all took a moment to get their bearings. Scott took a seat against the wall. Thalia sat next to him. Even angry and frustrated, they were inseparable. He rested his head on her shoulder, and she began running her fingers through his hair. "I'm not a failure", he whispered.
"I know, Scotty", Thalia whispered back. "We all love you how you are."
"There's nothing wrong with me", he added, like he needed to say it aloud.
"I know, I know."
A/N: this book is so poorly written, yet somehow I love it.
FINISHED JANUARY 18, 2020
i think people forget that girls can be abusive and manipulative too. this is a reminder that we never know what others are going through or have survived. that cutting isn't the only form of self harm. and that not every cutter cuts deep enough to leave scars. check on your friends. not everyone in a dark place will open up, and sometimes we can never know. it's important that we have compassion. it's important that we be understanding. it's important that we don't always take aggression as a sign of anger. sometimes, it's a cry for help.
but it's also a reminder to forgive yourself. i've done some things that feel awful. they seem petty to me now, because there are so much worse things going on, but to other people involved it seems to be gigantic. no i didn't harass, rape, beat, or kill anyone but i still hurt someone i care about. i know there are things that happened to me that caused the way i'm feeling. this deep self hatred and anger and urge to hurt people like i feel they hurt me. but the thing is: that's no excuse. i made the conscious decision to do what i did and didn't think of how it would affect others until it blew up in my face. yet i also know this: i am not worth giving up on. no human is past redemption. and i don't want to be a bad person, and i know that a couple bad mistakes don't make me so. there are people who will never forgive me, but i know what's in my heart. and i know i'll lose people too, but i want it to be because it's best for them and not because i shut myself out. there are dreams I have that I was scared to chase, because I feared that every bad mistake I made would come to light and ruin it. but here's the thing.
people will always hate.
people will look at things around you and refuse to think you can change. but you can. You can grow and love and become someone better. you deserve to be loved! you deserve everything, the best. don't be afraid, because you are not alone. it doesn't matter who you were last year. last month. last week. it doesn't even matter who you were yesterday. it only matters who you are today. right now. in this moment. you deserve happiness. and the people who believe in you will be right there.
forget cancel culture. go into the new year with love and compassion. that's the thing about humans: we were toxic to some and a blessing to others. everyone is
toxic in some way, don't let it consume you.
someone out there is going to love you, every mistake, flaw, and scar. maybe not a lover, but a friend. don't run from it. i tried to shut everyone out because i didn't think i deserved love, i thought i was that awful. but we all deserve to be loved. please never shut the door on those who love and care for you. we all deserve happiness. there is not a soul on this earth who doesn't deserve to feel happy.
it will always get better. maybe not when you went it to. but it can. but it has to start with you. if someone is hurting you, it's important that you find someone who can help you get away, because you do not deserve that. no one deserves that. you deserve to have people in your life who will help you when you're feeling trapped.
no matter what's going on, just take a step back and breathe. and if no one has told you today: i love you, and i think you're amazing the way you are. you don't have to fight this war alone.
spread kindness. we all deserve love and kindness.