I take a seat up front as my mind swims in ideas and day-dreams of my weekend with Adam. My mom came into my bedroom as I was getting ready this morning. She sat on the edge of my unmade bed and watched as I made sure I had everything necessary—and arguably unnecessary—packed in my suitcase. We talked a little. It wasn't like our usual sarcastic banters, but rather deep and blunt. Since I felt guilty about my fib regarding the status of Adam and my relationship, I decided to fill her in a little. I even told her that Adam and I haven't done anything yet, but the message was masked by other words yet clear from context. I told her that we were taking it steady, and this seemed to settle her nerves.
Although I have stayed the night at his house before, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous myself. Last time things didn't go exactly as I planned, but worrying about it won't do me any good. School is a godsend—serving as the perfect distraction.
"Wren, how are you?"
I look up from my phone to find Penny standing before me without her evil partner. My eyes look around for any reason as to why she would ask me such a thing. I thought they had finally left me alone.
She suddenly takes the seat beside me while saying, "Caitlyn isn't here today."
"Oh, um, sorry to hear that," I mumble.
"Look, I know she can be a little rude sometimes. It's just because her parents are getting divorced. She takes her problems out on other people."
My eyes widen. "Should you be telling me this?"
Penny shrugs. "I don't know. You wouldn't say anything to anyone. I just wanted to apologize, I guess. For being mean. You're kinda the talk of school ever since people found out about your mate, but I'm sure you know that. I'm sure it was hard enough without us bothering you."
"Well, thanks for the apology," I say and give her a little smile.
Penny and I pair up to do the classwork. We continue to chat as we work, and as time passes, it becomes easier and easier to talk to her.
"I know I'm not part of the pack or anything, but it must have been crazy to find out you're mated to their Alpha. They don't talk much about humans being mated to a shifter. Doesn't happen enough for them to teach about it, I suppose."
"Yeah. It has been a little crazy. My whole life got turned upside down," I say.
"I couldn't imagine finding my soul mate at eighteen," Penny says, looking out through the window beside us. "I mean, if humans even have soul mates. I doubt it. You're lucky in that case. At least you know you're not going to die alone or anything."
"You're not going to die alone, Penny. You'll find your person."
She sighs. "Well, Adam is a total catch. I've seen him a few times around the academy. No wonder everyone is talking about you, they must be jealous. Honestly, Caitlyn and I were."
"He's great, but there's no need to be jealous. Everything has its pros and cons."
"Cons? What could be bad about being the Alpha's mate?"
I set down my pencil and stretch my hand. "To start, we don't get a lot of time together now that he's officially Alpha. He's always busy—always having to worry about everyone else. He's responsible for so many people."
"I never really thought about that. I don't think I would want to be the leader of anyone but myself."
"Me too."
Penny asks, "Won't you be the Luna, though? The Alpha's mate is the Luna."
"I don't know. We haven't really talked about that yet."
Noticing my shift, Penny says, "Well, I actually think Ben is really cute. Caitlyn ignores me when I talk about it because we could never be together. I wish he was a human—just so I could have a shot, ya know?"
"Ben seems like a good guy. I suppose the whole 'mate' thing stops them from dating around, huh? Maybe you could be his friend, if anything."
She shakes her head. "I've never talked to him. He's not around that much, and when he is, it's not for long. I wouldn't even know how to start."
"I can introduce you to him sometime. We've talked at least twice. Being mated to his Alpha sort of forces him to talk to me."
"Really? That would be great," she says, nearly with a shimmer in her eye.
I say goodbye to Penny when class is over, when we part ways to go to second period. Throughout my next class, I think about Penny's crush—or whatever it may be—on Ben. Is there a point in being interested in one of them? It reminds me of Eli and Elara. They know that they are not mates, but they continue to date knowing that Eli has this connection with some other girl out there. I can't help but feel bad for Elara and Penny. It would be easy to tell them to like their own kind, but the heart wants what it wants.
If I wasn't mated to Adam and I just saw him walking down the street, would I have a crush on him? If there was no connection, would I be interested? I don't think I would waste my time having a crush on Adam. There's no way I could convince myself that a guy like him would give me a shot. All the sweet things he said to me in my bedroom—was that the mate bond talking? The mate bond is Adam, I guess, but I can't help but wonder. It's weird knowing that if we weren't mates, Adam wouldn't even glance my way. Why would he? He'd be waiting for his soul mate, and there'd be no point in wasting time with someone who doesn't fit the glass slipper.
It's a relief that I am his mate, then. I'm Cinderella and the slipper fits. I should enjoy it and not contemplate such sad things. Just like when I started to believe he would reject me—venturing into those dark places—there's no good to come out of it.
I meet Vivianne and Imogen during the assembly. We sit together in the gymnasium. People speak, but I can't hear them. My head has taken me hostage. No matter how much I try to focus on the good things, I can't seem to. Of course, this leads back to Adam's mother's words about babies dying inside of me. My body growing something it simply cannot. The way she said it—like it truly is so simple. It's sad. It makes me sad. I don't want a baby at eighteen, but the finality of it is upsetting.
"Wrenley?" Vivianne says, checking on me.
"Is there really no way?" I ask suddenly. "Is there really no way for me to have a baby in the future?"
Imogen, without turning to us, asks, "Where did that come from?"
"I just—I thought I would have at least one, and that was concerning the typical human life. Now Adam's Alpha bloodline will end with him and—"
"Wrenley, it's okay," Vivianne assures me. "Adam told you that it's there's no point in worrying about those things right now."
"So there's no way?" I ask again. "If there's no way, just tell me there's no way. Maybe I have to hear it again."
Her eyes connect with Imogen's then. "There's no way," she says sternly.
I slouch a bit. "I always thought I would be a mom. You know?"
"Since when? You've never talked about wanting to be a mom."
"It's just something that people do," I say. "You fall in love, get married, have kids, grow old, enjoy your family. It's just what you do."
Imogen murmurs, "This is depressing."
"That's the human life," Vivianne tells me.
"Mates have children. They love each other. They grow old. What's the difference? If anything, I need to have a kid."
"Well you can't," she says. "I'm sorry, Wrenley. But again, you're only eighteen, you shouldn't worry about it."
"What about being Luna then?" I ask. "Your mom said that nothing would change because I'm human, but Adam hasn't said a word to me about it. Look, I don't know if it's a thing or not, but is there any way for me to change?"
"Change?"
It has gone over Vivianne's head, but Imogen's eyes shoot to me. She stares at my face for a second or three.
"What is it? Was that a dumb question? I'm sorry."
"Who the hell told you that?" Imogen questions, her voice quiet.
"N-No one. I just thought of it."
Vivianne suddenly gasps. "Oh, goodness, no, Wrenley. No no no."
I sit up. "Okay. Okay. I didn't know."
"That is something we consider to be workings of very dark things," Imogen explains. "Whether it's possible or not—who knows. But if it is, somehow, it would be because of an evil power. I know it's popular in movies and what not to change humans into us, but in reality, it's like renouncing the moon goddess to try."
My heart drops. "Oh, god, I'm sorry. Forget I even said it."
"Never mention anything like that to Adam," Vivianne says. "Good thing you asked us and not him."
I sit awkwardly through the rest of the assembly. It was just an out-of-the-blue thought—an I idea I got from silly stories of werewolves and vampires and such things. They're right; thank god I didn't ask Adam about this because I may have.
After school, I follow Imogen to her car to grab my bag.
"Thanks again," I say.
"Don't think of it as a way," she says, catching me off guard. "There is no record of anything actually happening. For all we know, it's just a myth that such things can be done. Okay?"
I nod. "Okay."
Adam is waiting for me. He gets out of the truck and takes my bag from me, putting it in the back. I smile at him, but I know that he can tell something is off. Once we're in the truck and the doors are closed, he looks at me and says nothing until I look back.
"Ready to go?" I ask.
"Yeah, yeah," he says, unsure. "Let's get you home and unpacked."
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A little shorter, but I'll try to get the next part out soon. Happy Chapter 30!