I could tell he wasn't going to be ready to tell people he was into guys. I wasn't particularly ready either to explain to people I wasn't gay for anyone but my best friend. I'm sure nobody would believe that. I also wasn't ready to give up on Nora.
He was pissed I was staying with her I saw that but he calmed down when I think he realised why. We stayed up on the cliff until the sky started darkening knowing we had to get going before we couldn't find our way back through the trees. We had spoke about a lot and everything seemed much clearer. If anything I felt closer to him knowing there was nothing he was hiding from me anymore and I wasn't pretending anymore that I didn't feel anything for him. I didn't have to hide the way I looked at him hoping he wouldn't notice and freak out. As we made our way though back to the main road and again he tripped this time I didn't hesitate grabbing his hand to steady him like I had stopped myself doing before. He took it so tightly and didnt bother letting go either until we got to the clearing and we heard voices on the road. A little too quickly he pushed it away from his stuffing them into his pockets and began staring at his feet awkwardly. I didn't say anything about it instead bringing up something I did at work today involving a horrible old women and her fake bank cards.
We joked as if nothing had happened between us which was great. I'd really missed us. Once we got back to his work I stopped at my car that I'd parked on the road not sure if I'd of been ticketed if I parked in the car park after hours. He was but he worked there. He stopped too and we both stood silent until he broke out smiling that toothy flashy grin going around to the front of my car to look at my front bumper which yes had took some damage. "There had to be some collateral." I smirked rubbing where the small dent was.
"Did your Dad see it?" He asked his smile never faltering.
"Yes and he wasn't happy. He thought we were drink driving and gave me a massive lecture on it." I remembered back to the Sunday morning the least of my concerns when I'd been awake all night over everything in my head.
"I took one for the team because it was better than admitting the truth." I laughed knowing if I'd of told my Dad what really happened it would of embarrassed him to no end, not as much as it would of myself though I bet.
"No Dad in fact I was completely sober. You see the problem came when I couldn't get into Mason's lap fast enough and I leant on the handbrake." He joked in my voice turning my cheeks an illuminated red hearing the words of what happened come from him.
"You make it sound like it was all me!" I snapped still finding it amusing even if I was flushing and embarrassed.
"Was it not? I forget?" he teased a mischievous smirk on his face. It was a good job we were on opposite sides of the car because I was sure he would of been crawling onto me.
"No. You- you were-" I couldn't think of the right words. He could though calling himself desperate with a wink. Damn. Another reason I was glad the car was between us, I now had a boner. I shook him off unlocking my car and climbing inside doing my belt up and winding down the passenger side window to talk to him still. "By the way." I began as I got the car into gear. "My Dad is still away for work for a week. We on still?" I wasn't sure if we would be that back to normal yet but if I didn't ask I'd never find out.
"Mr. Jones. Are you inviting me over to your empty house?" I could sense he was joking but still he wasn't exactly helping my erection with his more powerful innuendos now I knew there was some truth behind them. I laughed shyly looking down to hide my yet again growing blush. "As long as she won't be there. Or of been there then yes." He caught my attention with his serious tone his eyes deliberately telling me how genuine he was being.
"No Nora. Okay." I nodded in total understanding. "I will see you tomorrow after work then." I finished and he smiled stepping back from the car.
I spoke to Nora that night telling her I'd sorted things out but I would be busy these next couple of days so wouldn't talk much and I still wouldn't have time to see her. She said she understood but how could she when I hadn't told her anything? I didn't really care though we kept talking just texting a couple of times that night and throughout the next day when I got the chance. I went straight home after work finished quickly changing my bed sheets which hadn't been done in a while meaning they probably still smelt like her. I was also sure my enlightening wank the other night might of left some stains too. Once they were changed I rushed around my room picking it up slightly glad Nora hadn't began leaving her stuff here just yet.
I pretty much ran to take my shower kidding myself thinking I could get in and out before Mason got here. He finished work at exactly the same time as me only difference being he would have to lock up and judging by last night it took about fifteen minutes. His work was also maybe ten minutes further into town so that meant I'd had roughly twenty-five minutes more than him and it almost took me that long to figure out the stupid sheets. I was halfway through my shower, enjoying myself singing away to my new favourite coincidentally also Mason's favourite song I like me better which I now new all the words to. "I might get into too much talking/I might have to tell you something/damn/I like me better when I'm with you."
"Oi that's my song!" I was instantly made aware of someone else being home and standing outside the bathroom. I'd left the door half way open in case he rang the bell, I should of known he would let himself right in like always, nothing really had changed.
"Advert eyes." I called out hoping he wasn't already storming in here.
"I'm not a total idiot I can hear your showering." He laughed from outside the door. I shut the water off grabbing a towel from the railing letting it hang to cover my crotch as I used a corner to dry my hair as I flopped it down over my face. "I'm also not some gay perv so can you hurry up I gotta pee." I heard him bang on the half open door. Fine have it your way. He obviously wants me outta here. I began walking over to the door still only the hanging towel to give me any sort of decency. I opened the door revealing my best friend who had his back to me at first turning as he heard me. "Bout time..." His words trailed as he saw me. His eyes were all over me only now was I not blind to his eye rapes. Maybe this was a bad idea...
"Can't you give me one more minute?" I smirked loving his reaction and with that I closed the door enough to hide me behind it and long enough so I could move the towel, wrapping it around my waist to cover me better. "Done. Please be my guest... prince." My smirk grew as I opened the door seeing him still standing his mouth actually open still. I brushed by him and walked to my room to get dressed.
I took my phone with me music still playing as I pulled on some black boxing shorts and a grey tight fit t-shirt. At least Mason still hadn't been in my room so it gave me time to finish tidying up. I'm never a clean person nor did I ever care what Mason thought but today I did. I picked all my dirty washing up including the towel I just used and threw them all into the washing hamper on the landing. I then pulled a baby wipe out from my bedside table and wiped them down removing any spilt drink stains or sticky condom stains come to think of that one time last week with Nora. Nora... I should probably reply to her before Mason gets out because we both know I will be ignoring her mostly the rest of today.
B. No hun I don't wanna go watch the new whatever chick movie is. See it with ur mates mayb? Give me and Mason chance to watch new Annabelle?
That actually didn't sound half bad as long as Mason didn't mind the interaction we'd have at the cinema before parting ways. Maybe he could wait until hers starts then turn up and leave right away after... we can talk about it. I was standing in the middle of my room when I finished messaging her going straight back to opening my bedroom window to let some breeze in I realised what song was playing... Mason's first favourite hold me while you wait. Somehow it had snuck into my playlist that was on shuffle but I didn't mind. I'd listened to it a couple of times mostly when with Mason and he was badly singing it.
It was only now I decided to listen to the lyrics. After all he liked that one I now liked and the lyrics were pretty accurate so maybe there was a deeper meaning to liking this one too.
'Won't you stay awhile/Tell me more/Tell me something I don't know/Did we come close/To having it all?' I sat down on the edge of my bed the words ringing in my ears as all I could think about was how the lyrics were practically as if he had been screaming at me asking me if I felt the same as him before we even knew it. 'Well if your gonna waste my time/Lets waste it well/And hold me while you wait.' Did he think I was leading him on all this time? 'I wish that I was good enough' I scoffed at those words. Of course he was good enough for me he was has been. 'If only I could wake you up/My love/My love/My love/Won't you stay awhile.' I was so caught up in listening to the song I wasn't thinking about anything else. Mason could of been stood there watching me, trying to talk to me and I wouldn't of noticed. 'I wish you cared a little more/I wish you told me this before/My love/My love/My love/Won't you stay awhile?' I couldn't breathe. I'd never thought to listen to the words properly and now I had I felt so stupid, so blind. This song was him calling for my attention. Begging me to look at him and love him like he loved me. 'This is you/This is me/ This is all we need' He got that right. No wonder he liked this song so much it was the most accurate song I ever heard. 'Is it true?/My faith is shaken but I still believe' That must of been how he felt yesterday hearing I actually liked him back. It must of felt like I was stabbing him every time I played this song for him in the car. When I mentioned it being his favourite the other night no wonder he quickly changed it after I didn't catch on. Even then he picked a song so literal and I still didn't really notice I mean how else can I like me better when I'm with you be interpreted?
The song kept playing the two lines standing out to me the most, I wish that I was good enough and I wish you cared a little more. I felt selfish. I felt like I'd been putting my best friend through hell without realising I had. I was careless and so self centred. I hadn't once thought how he must of felt. He had been going through all of this alone and I got mad that he told someone else before me as if it was some competition. Well I wish he felt like he could of told me. I get why he thought he couldn't and that's what torn me up. The song rang it's course and I didn't notice until my bedroom door opened and there stood Mason still in his towel a goofy grin on his face, that I'd been crying. Very quickly I wiped my face standing and almost running to him before he could even see me. "Hey I heard you playing-" Before he could finish talking I had my arms around his shoulders pulling him into the tightest hug I could probably the tightest I'd given him since his Grandma died last year. We had spent the entire day after the funeral doing dumb guy stuff but once the lights went out he broke down and I was there, the entire night holding him and letting him break down.
"What's this for?" He asked laughing to show he was taken aback by my suddenness but he was quickly excepting me his arms sliding around my waist clinging to my back just as tight.
"You would always be enough for me." I mumbled into his neck. We were pretty much the same height, me a little taller but as I wrapped around him the difference was unimpressive. I pulled back my hands moving to hold his shoulders still to look at me.
"Understand?" I scanned his eyes looking for that moment it clicks what I was talking about. "I wish I'd of known before. But next time you listen to that stupid song don't ever question if you are enough. You hear?" I was slightly shaking his shoulders, shaking the truth into him while also making him smile. "I will wait with you as long as you'll have me." I laughed too as he nodded an okay. I hadn't bothered turning my phones shuffle off so another song was playing Mason smirking before softly singing along not even caring he was off key and scratchy sounding even getting the words wrong.
"What do you say it's Friday night and your beautiful, your beautiful. What kind of man wouldn't think you were the love of his life? He'd be a fool." He was winking at me as I awkwardly stood there watching him sing to me still in just his towel. I had no idea how it went from me crying to this in such a short amount of time but this is why his my best friend. He knows exactly how to make me smile, and that I was. "I don't mean to ramble on like this..." He held his hand over his chest taking a deep breath ready to belt the next like but I beat him to it.
"I'm just asking for a friend!" He looked at me for a second silently he grinned I just sang in front of him... without hiding away embarrassed.
"What if I told you, he hadn't slept in weeks?" That sounded genuine, plausible. "And he was standing right here in front of you, instead of me?" The joking had stopped as he laced his fingers in mine.
"I'd tell him get lost and where's my best friend gone." I cracked a joke killing the fore coming seriousness of the next line. He pushed me backwards away from him dropping my hand with a deep chuckle. Like that the moment was over. He was off digging through my clothes for something for himself to wear quickly getting changed into a one of my pairs of black nike joggers and an oversized t-shirt that was big on me so pretty much swamped him hanging from his shoulders. He didn't seem to care though as he threw himself into my bed bouncing into the air like a child.
"Alone... at last." He purred jokingly. "Join me?" He hopped just as enthusiastically as before onto his side his hand flying to under his head and he looked down over himself then back to me unable to keep the playful smirk from his face patting the bed next to him with his other hand. I rolled my eyes but did as he said strolling over I sank down onto the pillows next to him. As soon as I did he rolled onto his back mimicking me us both staring up at the ceiling.
"Wanna play PlayStation?" I asked not knowing what else to say plus this is kind of what we always did anyway.
"Deal if we play the new GTA." He shot up already on his way to grab my controllers and turn everything on as if this was his room. When he came back over he was propping himself up on the pillows to get a better view of the large T.v. hung on my wall. As it loaded up it was him starting the small talk. "Have you seen that YouTube video when the guy steals the bulldozer on here and just rides it around flattening things?" Was he actually asking me that? Yesterday we were confessing feelings for each other and now he was being his normal self? I wasn't upset by it. I just wasn't expecting it to be this ordinary so soon.
"No I haven't." I barely remembered to answer his question.
"Have you got the new map?" He continued as we loaded into a game. Normally it isn't two player but being the hackers we are we found a secret code so now our avatars literally live in the same world kind of like sims but totally cooler.
"Erm I got one of them I'm not sure what one." I tried speaking as I concentrated on starting the game my character falling onto screen alongside Mason's. He very quickly got into his competitive mood playing as if his life depended on it even moving further upright away from the headboard to focus. He was a typical lad. A gamer. He was cursing the screen and aggressively hitting the buttons on the remote as something happened he didn't like. I was loosing interest very quickly watching him play more than myself. He would catch me watching him and smile at me tossing me a throw away joke his eyes very quick back to the game at hand.
What he didn't know though was I was having flashbacks to that video I watched... I wonder what he would do if I pulled my dick out right now? At first I doubt he would notice. I'd be sat back stroking myself as I watched him biting my lip trying not to moan.
He would feel me watching him and look back at me only then seeing what I was doing. I'm pretty sure he would pause the game, ask what I'm doing and why. If I wasn't so embarrassed I'd reach out for his joggers and pull the tie strings open... "Dude his killing us! Come on!" Mason's voice calling me as he found something funny broke me from my day dreams before they could get too dirty.
I played as best as I could for another minute or two before my concentration lapsed again, back to him. I loved he was in my clothes... my t-shirt wasn't covering much hanging loosely entirely off one of his shoulders scooping over his chest exposing that one tattoo he got last summer when we, the rest of our team of lads, went to blackpool for the weekend. They wasn't so bothered by age limits there, we were still only sixteen but Mason looked older with his thick stubble that he had even then. We had walked in there us both with tattoos already and he took one look at us and asked what we wanted, that easy. Mason pointed to a Origami sparrow and asked for two one on either side of his chest between his shoulders and collar bones.
The lads all joked it was a representation of me and him and our love for each other. We had been pissy with them the rest of the night but once we were back in our hotel room the other guys spark out I whispered asking him why he got them. His answer like always about his tattoos that he just liked it. 'But if you want them to be us they can.' He whispered to me through the darkness. It was a joke and neither of us brought it up after but I thought about it whenever I seen them. Right now was no different as they peeped out from under my t-shirt. He was branded, marked with me... if he even remembered. I did though so who cares. It was hot. Just as hot as if I'd of gotten a chance to mark him on Saturday. I bet he thinks the same but that would of caused some real shit with Nora.
I was looking at his neck imagining a big red and purple mark that I knew he wouldn't of cared to cover up if I had of done it. My tongue was slowly licking over my bottom lip before I grazed my teeth over it biting down. I slid my eyes down his body further his hands in his lap blocking my view as he still viciously attacked the controller. My hands had stopped moving on mine completely in fact one of mine was now digging nails into my thigh as I tried to control myself. If I was to take my cock out now I had the feeling I'd be at my ready. I locked me eyes back on his even as he looked fascinated still by the game oblivious to me now checking to see if I had a boner. I groped myself through my shorts surprised at how hard I was. I was to my fullest and not only that but as I looked down it was more than visible including the wet patch I had where pre-cum had soaked through my shorts.
"Dick!" I heard Mason say and automatically thought he was saying something to me. I looked at him his eyes still on the T.v. that he was talking to. "Brandon please stop giving me puppy eyes and help before I die please." He spoke so freely clearly he had felt my stares but didn't care.
"One sec." I paused the game in desperate need of sorting myself before he seen. I reached behind myself moving to pull out a pillow I'd been sat on. I tugged it into my lap resting my arms on it hoping I didn't look way too obvious.
"Ready." I un-paused and again tried my hardest to help him at the game. That had been a close call. He didn't say anything about the pillow and I was thankful because I had no idea what my excuse would of been for needing it. It was easier to concentrate now though at least when I was so scared he would catch me next time.