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Love's A Loaded Gun
Maya laid restlessly in her bed, turning from side to side, not being able to fall asleep after the night she had. She sighed, rolling on to her back to stare up at the ceiling, giving up on sleep. She stayed still for a moment before leaning over to grab her cell phone off of her nightstand to look at the time.
3:01am.
She bit her lip, knowing her parents were most likely asleep. She knew it was a bad idea but she couldn't stop herself as she quietly got out of bed, tip toeing across her room and slowly opening her door making it make as little as sounds as possible to her relief her parents' door was shut. She quickly made her way to his door and slipped in, walking over to his bed.
"Josh," she whispered, shaking him softly before he woke up and his eyes adjusting before going wide at the site of her in his room.
"Maya, what are you doing here?" Josh hissed quietly.
"I had to see you."
"Maya you can not be in here right now. The last thing we need is for your parents to come in here and see you in my room."
"Josh calm down. They are both asleep."
Josh sighed, shaking head, "Maya, it's still not a good idea for you to be in my room. What if they wake up?"
"I know but I couldn't sleep and I had to see you."
Josh stared up into her eyes and could see the fear in her eyes. He sat up pulling her close to him. The two stayed like that for a moment before he finally spoke, "You're going to hate what I'm about to say," he began softly, grabbing her attention. "But tomorrow we have to tell them the truth about us-"
Maya narrowed her eyes in, furiously shaking her head at the words coming out of his mouth before cutting him off, "Josh. No."
"We have to," he told her, caressing her cheek.
"No, we don't. Josh, they will separate us and not let us be together," she argued as the fear of losing him started to sink in. "I think we should let this blow over first before we tell them."
Josh looked away, shaking his head.
Maya took his hand into hers, squeezing it. "Josh, we have to wait once this goes away then we can tell them," she repeated, her voice begging him.
Josh shook his head again. "I think this is a bad idea. They are already-"
"No, it's not," she promised. "I already told Shawn there is nothing going on between us and I believe he believes me. They are just upset right now but I'm going to make sure they know it's not your fault what happened tonight."
Josh sighed, staying quiet. "I think we both should get some sleep."
Maya stared at Josh in disbelief for a moment, "Josh," she said more quietly.
Josh held her gaze, before pulling her onto his lap as she instantly wrapped her arms and legs around him.
Maya closed her eyes at the feel of his lips on her forehead.
"I love you," he told her pressing a soft kiss on her lips before resting his forehead against hers.
"I love you too."
The two fearing what tomorrow would bring.
XOXOJOSHAYAXOXO
Josh sat at the dining room table, nervously twiddling his thumbs as his eyes stared down at nothing. He felt Shawn pacing behind him, before the older man finally began to speak grabbing Josh's attention.
"Josh, I'm not stupid. I know what is going on between the two of you. I see the little looks between the two of you, the sneaky touches and the love struck look in Maya's eyes when she looks at you and it needs to stop."
Josh swallowed.
"Maya has always talked about wanting to get away and go to California so she could live by the ocean and be a free spirit. She had big dreams of getting out of here and now she is talking about settling down in New York. A place, she has maybe mentioned once as a backup plan. You think I don't know the real reason why she had this sudden change of heart? Because I know it's not because of NYU."
Josh looked up at Shawn. "I didn't ask her to move to New York."
"You didn't have to, Josh! She is willing to give up everything for you."
"Shawn, I would never ask Maya to give up her dreams for me. I want her to have all of her dreams and more. Believe it or not, I do love her."
"You love her?"
"Yes."
"You want her to have all of her dreams and more?
"Yes."
Shawn shook his head, glaring at Josh before walking over and taking something off of the kitchen counter Josh didn't notice. "Then how do you answer this?" he asked, dropping a zip lock bag containing the open pregnancy test box causing Josh's eyes to go wide and his stomach drop to the floor as fear ran through every bone of his body.
"I'm guessing you didn't know," Shawn stated at the look on the younger boy's face. "So I guess Maya is keeping secrets from you too. Doesn't feel good, does it?"
Josh looked up at the older man.
"We found the pregnancy test in your and Maya's bathroom right before we got that lovely phone call," Shawn continued before Josh could answer. "And thank God it's negative," he revealed, making Josh let out a breath of relief. "But what if she was pregnant? How is she going to live her dreams with a baby? It would just be another way you ruin her life, right? Maya has changed for the worst since you've come into the picture. She's not the sweet innocent girl she was before you came. She is having sex to the point where she has to take a pregnancy test because she is scared she is pregnant. She is out partying to the point where she was caught by the police. She is lying to the point where she stood right there last night and looked me in the eyes and lied straight to my face. It's not the first time because I'm pretty sure she lied to me right after Lucas warned me about you two. Before you came into the picture, Maya never lied to us, she wasn't having sex or partying or getting caught by the police. Some influence you've been on her and you say you love her? Here I was wanting to help you instead you came here and ruined my daughter's life."
Josh shook his head, "Shawn, I don't want to ruin Maya's life"
"Damn straight and you're not going to because I'm not going to let you. Your past speaks for itself, Josh. You played a good part when you first got here because I trusted you when I shouldn't have. You have been untrustworthy and going behind my back so if you think I'm going to trust you with my daughter, you are dead wrong. I will never trust you with my daughter. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever. My daughter deserves better than you. You're not good enough for Maya and you never will be. If you love her like you say you do then you want what is best for her and what is best for her is for you to break up with her because she deserves the best and it's not you."
Josh felt his heart crack into a million little pieces at Shawn's words because he knew Shawn was right. He always knew in his heart Maya deserved better than him. He wasn't good enough for her and never would be. He remained quiet as all of Shawn's word continued to sink in. He knew Maya deserves the world and the last thing he wanted was to be the reason she couldn't have it or be the one holding her back from it. He swallowed, lowering his head. "I'll end it," he agreed, quietly. "But I want to go back to New York."
Shawn nodded. "I can arrange that."
XOXOJOSHAYAXOXO
Maya watched as her mother sat hesitantly next to her on her bed. She remained quiet waiting for her mother to break the silence and throw whatever punishment her way.
"Now, that we are alone. I'm going to ask you what Shawn asked you last night and I want you to be completely honest with me. Is there something you need to tell me?"
Maya swallowed, hating she was about to lie again. She shook her head, standing her ground from last night. "No."
Katy sighed. "Baby girl, are you sure?"
"Yes, Mom. What is there that you want me to say because obviously you are assuming something?"
Katy shook her head, "Nothing. If you say there is nothing to tell then I guess there is nothing to tell."
Maya nodded, looking away from her mother. "So what is my punishment for last night?"
Katy pat her daughter's leg, "There is no punishment," she told her causing Maya to look at her mother with shocked eyes.
"You know Josh isn't the one to blame for last night, right? He wasn't even at the party until the very end and it was because Riley texted him."
Her mother just kissed the top of head telling her to shut her windows it's about to storm before leaving her confused and alone in her room.
XOXOJOSHAYAXOXO
"Josh, you're not going to believe it."
Maya began, walking into his room and wrapping her arms around his neck. "There is no punishment," she told him, leaning up to kiss him. She frowned when she didn't feel Josh kiss back, "What's wrong?"
Josh looked around the room before finally looking into Maya's eyes and unwrapping her arms around his neck.
Maya felt her heart break at the look in his eyes. She frantically shook her head. She remembered the look from when he told her they could only be friends. "No! Josh! No!" she shouted as her heart started to pound against her chest.
"Maya," Josh sighed, pulling away from her completely. "We can't keep doing this."
Maya felt like she was hit by a truck. "What do you mean we can't keep doing this?" she asked, nervously.
"Exactly what I said."
She shook her head again, praying her tears wouldn't come down. "Josh, yes we can-"
"No we can't."
"Yes, we can, Josh. I love you and you love me. We are in love and w-"
"Had sex?" Josh cut her off, knowing this was his gateway. He needed to get Maya to hate him and downgrading what was special between them would be the perfect way to get her to let him go so she can begin her life without him. "Maya, you think that meant something? It meant nothing."
Maya shook her head, "I don't believe you," she told him, softly. "Something happened for you to be saying this to me because I know you wouldn't be saying it otherwise. I know you love me and I don't question that and I know you know what's happening between us is special."
Josh shook his head not looking Maya in the eyes as he turned his back to her, watching the raindrops hit the window. "Maya, it's nothing special. I've slept with a lot of girls. Did you really think you were going to be the last? Or you were the first girl's virginity I've taken? You weren't and you aren't the first girl I got to fall in love with me and you aren't going to be the last girl I get to fall for me," he finished before turning back to face her.
Maya shook her head as she made eye contact with Josh. She refused to let her tears fall at the moment. "You're just trying to hurt me."
"I'm telling you the truth!" he yelled, making Maya flinch. "Remember! I told you on the first day I met you not to fall in love with me," he reminded her, bring back the memory of the two of them in the hallway on the first night they met.
Maya continued shaking her head, wondering where all of this was coming from. It was in then she noticed all of his bags were packed. Her eyes went wide and her heart sunk even further if that was possible as she looked at his bags back to him, "Josh?"she gasped then heard a car's beep outside and they both looked towards the window.
"I have to go," Josh swallowed, looking straight ahead and refusing to make eye contact with her as he picked up his bags.
"Josh, please! Stop!" Maya begged, trying to stop him as he picked up his bags. Her tears now poured down her cheeks as she followed him through the house and out to Cory's car.
"Josh, whatever happened we can get through this. Just talk to me! Tell me what happened!" she told him as he loaded his bags into the car and shutting the trunk. "Josh, please don't go."
Josh opened the passenger's car door, still not looking over at Maya as he stared straight ahead, "We're done," he told her before closing the car door.
"Josh!" Maya yelled, hoping he would get out of the car and tell her this was some kind of sick joke. Her heart was crushed into a million little piece as she watched the car pulled away carrying her heart with it.
"Maya."
She refused to look over at mother as she stared off in the direction the car went.
"Maya," her mother tried again. "Come in from the rain."
Maya shook her head, "No!"
"Come on, sweetie,"
Her mother started to pull her in before she shoved away from her mother.
"Don't touch me!" she yelled, finally looking over at her mother before her eyes found Shawn standing not too far from her and her mother. She could see the guilt written all over him. "You," she gasped, hurt and shocked all at the same time. "'You did this," she accused as her breathing became heavy as she felt like she couldn't breathe.
Shawn reluctantly nodded, "But you have to know I just wanted to protect you."
"I don't need your protection! Especially from Josh!"
"Maya this is for the best," Shawn told her. "You have to trust me."
"The best?" Maya snapped, as she tried to steady her breathing.
"He was holding you back and making you give up your future for him. The future you dreamed of."
"Dreams change, Shawn! You have no clue what my new dreams are and you just ruined the dreams I had with Josh. I love him and he loves me and you just took him away-"
"Maya, just come inside," her mother cut her off. "It's pouring rain and you could get sick," she tried to reason as she placed her daughter's jacket over her shoulders. She hated seeing her daughter in such pain. "We can talk about this inside once we are dried off and have cool down some."
Maya shook her head, putting her jacket on fully. "No."
"Please," Katy pleaded, placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder.
"No," Maya shook her head more sharply, shoving her mother's hand off of her. "I'm never stepping foot back in to that house!"
Shawn was shocked at his daughter anger. He expected her to not handle this well but he didn't expect this break down. "Maya, stop it and come inside now."
Maya stared into the man's eyes who had become her father as her tears mixed in with rain. The anger evident in her eyes. "I hate you," she murmured. "I will never forgive you for this. You took the best thing that has ever happened to me away from me."
Shawn felt his heart break into a little million of pieces as it felt hard for him to breath at Maya's words.
Maya continued to glared into his eyes before taking off down the street.
"Maya!" Katy yelled, starting to run after her daughter until Shawn grabbed her arm. "Shawn?"
"Let her go," he told her gently. "She needs to time to cool off. She'll come back," he continued, praying his words were true. He knew he messed up and he prayed Maya would find away to forgive him.
XOXOJOSHAYAXOXO
Cory looked over at his heartbroken younger brother. "I know this hurts Josh but you did what was best. You two got tangled up in something you shouldn't have."
Josh nodded, staring out the window.
"If you two are meant to be you will find your ways back to each other in the future when the timing is right."
Josh nodded again, still looking out the passenger's window. He knew his brother only being polite and saying what he thought Josh wanted to hear. He knew there was no finding their ways back to each other in the future. He loss Maya forever. Shawn was right. He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve to have her in his life not now. Not ever. All he wanted was to get back to New York and reconnect with his friends. He needed something to numb his pain and finding the first party he could sounded like the best plan. He closed his eyes at the feel of his phone vibrating in his pocket. He took it out and saw the text messages and missed calls from Maya. He couldn't believe after everything he said to her she still wanted to talk to him. He opened his gallery staring at a picture of her as his heart broke and tears started to form in his eyes. He ran his thumb across her face before opening the texts of her begging him to call her and she loved him and forgives him. He closed his eyes fighting back his tears. He tapped the info button and stared down at the block this caller before closing his eyes again. He felt his tears start to roll down his cheeks and his heart shatter as he pushed it.
XOXOJOSHAYAXOXO
Maya walked around for what felt like forever before sliding down a tree and hugging her knees-up to her chest. She rested her head against her knees as her tears still came down her cheeks. The rain had let up some but was now completely dark outside besides the few street lights. Her phone buzzed in her pocket for the hundredth time since she took off from her parents' house. She slowly took her phone out of her pocket, knowing already in her heart it wasn't the one person she wanted to hear from more than anything. She slid her finger over to deny the call at the sight of her mother's name. She went straight to Josh's name, praying he would answer her as she typed out another message to send to him. She just needed him to talk to her so they could figure this out together. She wasn't going to let him give up on them so easily. Whatever Shawn said to him to make him walk away from her wasn't true and they could make it through this. She knew he knew they were meant for each other. She knew she had his heart like he had her's. She just needed him to answer her calls or texts. She wanted more than anything to hear Josh's voice and feel his arms wrapped around her.
Her heart sunk at the notice under her message.
Message not sent.
She retried to send it again with the same message popping up again. She dialed Josh's number and that's when her heart dropped to her stomach.
Josh blocked her.
She dropped her phone as her ran her hands through her hair and a new set of harder tears fell down her cheeks before she rested her head back against her knees and she held on to them. She wasn't sure how long she was in this position before her tears started to slow down some. She sat back against the tree, keeping her closed before she reached into her other jacket pocket relieved to find her earpods were still in there. Music was what she needed at this moment. She searched her playlist for the perfect song before putting her earbuds in blasting the music to block out the world around her. She sat still for a moment, closing her eyes again and wiping away some of still falling tears. She knew she needed to get out of the rain and find somewhere to try and sleep away her pain when it finally hit her where to go.
The tree house.
She stood up, to make her way to her safe place. She stepped into the street, not noticing the car driving with its headlights off through her blurry vision until it was too late. She felt the car make contact with her body before hitting the ground.
Everything went black.
I'm going to go hide now. Please leave me a review with your thoughts and hopefully you're not too mad at me. If you need a pick me up you can go read "I Get To Love You" in my one shot series or if you read "Taking On The World" you can check out the new chapter.