"Get that thing away from me."
I had retreated against the headboard with my knees pressed against my chest. It was a very infantile position, but I couldn't help it. Malone looked amused. I didn't see the humor in the situation.
"Seriously, you've never had anyone this big?" He tilted his head and smiled.
"The biggest guy- who was like half that size, by the way - put me on a two week sabbatical. Don't even touch me with that thing." I wasn't even horny anymore. I felt something between fear and irritation. Malone started swinging the dildo around menacingly. He still thought it was funny. I waited for him to notice my expression.
"I said I'll make you scream. That's exactly what I intend to do." He looked a little more serious, but otherwise quite amused. I folded my arms across my chest. This was a major buzz kill.
"What's wrong with using your dick? I don't think it's faulty, is it?"
He laughed and wiggled his waist and his hard-on flopped from side to side. He was clearly enjoying himself. My own erection was dying down. If he didn't hurry up and quit the stupid game, he'd lose me completely. I looked at the sex toy again. What the hell was he thinking? I was a whore, not a female horse.
"Hey," he said, making his way to the bed. "I just wanted to spice things up a bit."
"You're pretty spicy all by yourself."
He chuckled as he crawled in bed towards me, dildo still in hand. He got within an inch of my face. I stared him down. I wasn't going to let him get his way this time. There had to be limits. He brought the dildo up to my nose. I could still smell the packaging.
"It's still new. You won't even consider it?"
I looked down at the flesh-coloured toy. I held it in my hands. Or I tried to. My hand couldn't even go all the way around it. He let me handle it, as if to let me get myself acquainted with it. I looked at it and then at him. He smiled slowly, and then formed a cocky grin. I smiled back. Then I threw the dildo across the room. His gaze followed it as it bounced off the door and rolled on the floor. He looked back at me as he formed a mock scowl.
"Hey! That cost me forty dollars."
"Consider it cash wasted."
I grabbed his dick. He gasped at my rough touch but maintained his gaze. He wanted to say something but I squeezed and he moaned instead. I started getting horny again. We could pick up where we left off.
"This," I looked down at it, "...is all I need. Now follow the magic words and make me scream."
He smiled and covered my mouth with his. I felt my own dick harden instantly. This was what I wanted. I wondered why he even got the stupid toy in the first place. He suddenly grabbed me by the legs and lifted me so I was straddling him. I kissed him passionately. Slowly, his fingers inched into my hole and I gasped into his mouth. He gave me a wicked grin. I knew he was going to start torturing me again. My balls ached. I needed release and he was prolonging my ecstasy.
"Malone." I gasped his name.
"Hmm?"
"If you don't put it in me right now, I'll punch you."
He laughed and flipped me so I was lying on the bed with my legs in the air. He entered me. No lubrication. It hurt and I yelped. He pulled out and slammed it back in. It really hurt, going in dry. I grabbed the sheets and tried not to scream. He slammed into me again. I couldn't help it anymore. I wailed in pain. He stopped.
"See, I made you scream anyway."
I looked up at him with tears brimming in my eyes. He was still smiling. I pushed against his chest and made him get off me. I got off the bed and went to the bathroom. He called out after me, but I didn't stop. I locked myself in the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I stuck my finger in my ass and examined it. Good, I wasn't bleeding. Malone knocked on the door.
"Michael, open up."
I sat on the toilet, quiet. Then I realized that I was acting stupid. There was nowhere else to go from the toilet; I had to come out sooner or later. I got up, opened the door and stepped back. Malone stood at the door and looked at me.
"What was that about?"
"I had to see if I was bleeding. You shouldn't have gone in dry." I knew I looked angry. I was a little angry. This was supposed to be enjoyable, yet he just managed to make it awkward and uncomfortable at every turn. Malone suddenly looked sad. He walked over to me and held me in a hug. My hands lay limp on the sides.
"I'm sorry. I just wanted us to have a bit of fun. I never meant to hurt you. I love you. You know that."
I sighed and my hands found a way to his back. He pulled back a bit and kissed me. It was a heavy kiss, full of longing and desire. I kissed him back. I couldn't even stay mad at him. His hands fondled my body and we collapsed to the bathroom floor. We resumed our make-out session, but I could feel the difference this time. He was being all loving, touching me with light kisses, a slow nibble here and there, some light suction with his lips. I felt my heart swell. I was in love with him, I couldn't help it. He kissed his way down to my pubes and nuzzled under my balls. I arched my back. I loved what he was doing down there. He took a whiff of me, absorbing my scent. I ran my fingers through his hair. I was ready for him.
"Mal, take me back to bed."
"Okay."
He got up and carried me, bridal style. I kissed him all the way back. Once we lay down, he took some lubricant from the night stand and prepared me. I still squirmed when he fingered me and teased me a little. He crawled in between my legs and entered me. I felt that familiar sense of fullness. It didn't hurt at all. He leaned over and kissed me as he thrust into me, slowly. This is what I loved about our sex. It was never rushed. No quickies or hurried pounding. Slow and deliberate. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Malone increased his intensity, but not his speed. I found myself digging my nails into his back and moaning into his mouth. He stopped kissing me as his breathing became ragged and he gasped into my ear. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him take me. We went on for quite some time. When he started hitting my prostate and had lights flashing before my eyes, I knew I couldn't last any longer. I screamed and blasted my load between us, clenching against his cock. I guess I pushed him over the edge because he screamed and climaxed, covering my insides with his cum. His scream died down, interrupted with gasps and he dropped his full weight on me. It was a little more difficult to breathe, but I could bear it. I wrapped my hands around his torso. We lay in that embrace for several minutes. I stroked his back lovingly as we both struggled to catch our breath.
"That was incredible, as always." I whispered into his ear.
"I've never cum so hard. You're like my Viagra. I can't help myself around you."
"Have you ever used Viagra?" I laughed into his ear.
"Yeah, once. Was a stupid teenager back then. I was hard for like two hours and I hadn't planned anyone to have sex with. It was hell. The blue balls I got after were even more hell." He laughed back. He slowly pulled himself out of me. I felt empty. I wished we could sleep like that, with him inside me. Okay, that's just weird, Michael. I know, but that doesn't mean I don't want it, I replied to myself. Malone got up and pulled the covers over me, then got into bed beside me. I lay my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. He played his fingers through my hair.
"I can't wait for you to move in."
I realized I hadn't made any plans regarding moving in with him. Well, that was because Swash and Bradley had kept me so occupied. I wouldn't even be able to make any plans until next week, when this whole Swash saga was sure to be over. I played with the fine hairs on his chest. I could imagine falling asleep like this every day. I wouldn't mind it one bit.
"Yeah, me neither." I smiled. In a few minutes, I heard his gentle snoring. I didn't particularly like snoring, but his snores felt...soothing. Like a metronome. I wanted to make mental plans for my moving, but I found it hard to keep my eyes open.
I woke up early with a startle. I don't know why. I looked around and realized where I was. At some point in the middle of the night, Malone and I had separated, and he was sleeping on his stomach, as usual. I leaned over and kissed his cheek as I got out of bed. I looked at the time. 05:51. It was still pretty dark outside, but I knew I had to go. Bradley was probably going to wake up and look for me. I grabbed a large sheet of paper from the desk beside the drawer and left a note. I placed it on the night stand beside Malone. I thought about whether it could get blown off when I left, so I looked around for a weight to put on it. The dildo was still lying on the floor in front of the room door. That would have to do. I got dressed quietly and left the house, careful not to slam any doors. I didn't feel good about sneaking out, but I didn't think Malone would let me leave otherwise. It was really cold outside and I was thankful for the jacket I brought along with me. I made my way down the road, not really sure I was going in the right direction. I needed to find a taxi and there were none in this area. I continued my stroll through the neighborhood. There were a few people on the road. Early risers were already on their morning jog. Others looked like they were returning from night shifts. I continued until I got to a major road. Even then, finding a taxi was difficult. I looked at my phone. 06:21. Any more time wasted and Bradley would be in school by the time I got to the condo.
"You're getting in too deep, Mike."
I turned around. I was certain I had heard a voice. Then I realized it was only in my head. The other Michael. The detached superego. That's what the school counselor called it when I foolishly told her about it. She only listened and gave some psycho-analytical talk but it didn't help anything. The months after my parent's death were a mental hell. I kept hearing voices. Or one particular voice. It kept telling me that I murdered them. The voice never went anywhere, even after I got over my grief. It became like a constant critic, advising and chastising every action as long as I lived. I was told that my mind may have fractured, giving my superego a defined persona in my attempt to mentally punish myself for what I had done. I had no reason to doubt it. Most times, the voice was just in my head. But every once in a while, I could swear I heard someone talk. And when I did, I felt compelled to talk back, not just think back.
"I'm not getting any more involved than I have to."
"Sure you're not. You just left your boyfriend to catch up with a four-year-old."
"So? I happen to like that four-year-old. He's a great kid."
"Is that all there is to it? His sexy father has nothing to do with it?"
"No."
"You can't lie to me. I am you, dumbass."
"Well, either you shut up or you help me find a cab."
The woman who jogged past me looked at me strangely. Yes, I was talking to myself. But so was at least ten percent of Chicago. Move along. I found a taxi and got in. I told the man to hurry. He didn't. He looked tired. He had probably worked all night. When I got to Swash's condo, it was 07:19. I practically ran to the elevator and had to suffer the impatience as it lifted me to the seventh floor. I unlocked the door quickly and barged in. Nobody was in the living room. I walked into the guest room and checked. Bradley wasn't there. He wasn't in his room either. One final option. I opened the door to Swash's room.
Bradley was looking up at Swash, who was holding up two ties. He shook his head violently.
"I guess that's no good either." Swash smiled and looked through the wardrobe for another one. Bradley turned to look at me.
"Michael!" His face lit up and he ran to me. I thought he was going to hug me. He stopped about half a foot in front of me and looked up at my face, smiling. I smiled back. I guess that was his version of a happy greeting: a direct facial stare. I liked it. Very original.
"You're back." Swash didn't share the same excitement, but he managed a smile. Of course he doesn't. You left to bang someone else and showed up in the morning, what did you expect him to feel? I ignored the voice and walked with Bradley back to where he had been standing to make the judgments on the ties. Swash now had a navy blue and teal striped tie beside an indigo one with tiny, almost invisible white lines. The shirt he was wearing was a pale blue with light sky-blue stripes. I didn't like either choice. Neither did Bradley.
"Let me look at all of them."
Swash took me to the wardrobe and I looked at his large collection of ties. He had a thing for diagonal stripes; there was almost every possible colour combination. I looked through the rack and picked out a burgundy plain tie. It looked like he'd never worn it.
"Seriously?" He looked amused at my choice.
"Trust me, it works."
"Okay then."
He knotted it and pulled it on. I helped him readjust it. He turned to Bradley with the finished look. Bradley grinned.
"I guess the verdict is passed," I said. Swash smiled. I felt my heart quicken just a bit. Why did he have to look so irresistibly sexy? I had done my best to resist anyway. I stepped away from him and Bradley held my hand. Swash checked his watch.
"Oh sh-" He caught himself from swearing in front of Bradley. "We're going to be late."
"Are you coming after school, Michael?" Bradley looked up at me. I guess he had reason to ask, seeing as I had been gone all night. He was beginning to understand that I wasn't a permanent fixture in his life.
"Sure. Maybe we can go to McDonalds afterwards. If that's okay with Dad." I looked at Swash. He nodded his consent. I let go of Bradley's hand so he could go and get his stuff ready for school. Swash and I were left alone in his room.
"Thanks," he breathed.
"For what?"
"For coming back."
"You knew I'd be back." I shrugged. Maybe he didn't think I'd return in the morning. I was supposed to be with my boyfriend after all.
"Still, thanks for coming back. And for offering to pick him up. I know it was supposed to be a one-time thing, but it's become almost like a routine now."
"I don't mind, really. He's an amazing kid. You're really lucky to have him."
"You really think so, huh?" Swash smiled. There was pride in there. If I had a son like Bradley, I'd be proud too. Hell, I'd rub it in everyone's face. He looked at the door and I noticed that Bradley had returned with his backpack. He was already wearing his jacket. The smart kid already knew it was cold outside.
"Have a nice day in school."
He smiled. "Dad, late."
"Oh. Sorry."
Swash grabbed his briefcase and walked out of his room. He stopped at the door and looked at me before he left. I heard the house door close. I was alone, once again. I strolled to the bathroom and began to brush my teeth. My mind drifted to other issues. I needed to find a job. My cash was rapidly reducing and my situation would only get worse once the week was over. At least my apartment had been paid for. I started thinking about the job offers I had passed up. At the time, I needed a job that could complement my other job, so I was looking for flexible hours. Now I just needed a job, plain and simple. I didn't even mind a blue-collar nine-to-five at this point. I spat out the toothpaste and rinsed the brush. I made my way back to the guest room. I could call it my room, but it still felt like a guest room. Except for all the stuff Swash had bought for me that littered the place. I threw off my clothes and walked into the bathroom. The shower was just another fruitless thinking session. I had breakfast shortly after and sat down in front of the TV. My phone rang and I picked it up. I didn't even care who the caller was.
"Hello?"
"Stop sneaking off like that." Malone.
"Sorry, I really had to go. I didn't want to wake you."
"It feels really lonely waking up alone, you know. Or maybe you don't. You're the one always sneaking off."
"I'm sorry. Something came up and I had to deal with it."
"Not really a problem. Except that you owe me morning sex now."
I laughed. "I didn't know we had a sex schedule."
"Oh, but we do. Starting from today. You now have one standing order of morning sex to be delivered sometime today before your next order."
"Can you save these up and have me pay them all at once over the weekend?"
"But you'll also have weekend sex. Are you sure you can deliver all at once? It would be a massive order."
I laughed again. "I'll see what I can do."
He laughed too. "Hurry back. I miss you."
"Miss you too."
"Today's magic words?" I could sense the smile at the end of his sentence.
"Good. Bye. Malone."
I hung up and laughed. He was adorable. I remembered our little bit of awkwardness last night. It was a little different from what I had expected, but his heart was in the right place. And it still ended wonderfully. I flicked through the TV channels. I stopped when I saw something about the mating rituals of elephants. I knew then what that dildo was modeled after.
I left Swash's condo at 13:44. I knew I'd be a bit late when I got to Bradley's school, but I didn't think he would mind. It wasn't so hard to find a cab this time. I ordered it to the destination and sat in silence. The ride was uneventful, with just the smallest bits of traffic here and there. I let my mind wander off again. I began to fantasize about living with Malone. Having breakfast in the kitchen, having sex on the stairs, falling asleep with his warm body cuddling me, maybe playing video games. I didn't know if he ever played games; he was thirty years old. Something I often ignored as he didn't look it and certainly didn't act it. I wasn't even sure what someone aged thirty was supposed to act like, but I was sure Malone was not it. Maybe that's why I didn't notice our age difference. Our behaviors were almost identical, plus he didn't seem to care that I was a decade younger. Then the car slowed suddenly. I snapped out of my day dream and looked around. I knew the area from the shops I saw; we were somewhere in front of the school. But there was usually no traffic in this area. I peered out of the window and noticed that a lot of cars had been parked in the street, some of them in a random fashion. I paid the cab driver and got out of the car. The street looked chaotic. People were making calls, others looked hysterical. There was a crowd gathered in front of the school. I looked forward, trying to get a clearer picture of what was going on. A woman ran towards a car. She was obviously crying. Was there some sort of accident? I hoped nobody had gotten seriously hurt. I walked down the side walk, avoiding some badly-parked cars as I made my way forward. I turned to look at the school building, partly hidden by the trees in the park.
And that's when I saw the red trucks. Thick black smoke was rising into the sky. I thought I was a news helicopter.
Bradley's school was on fire.
Fuck.