Forty-eight hours later we landed in LAX. Unfortunately, my dreams and my cardigan were left in London. James was up early to say goodbye, even if he had all his stuff packed up to go too.
“I’ll see you soon,” he promised me, hugging me tight as Mom and Dad brought our luggage out.
“You have to come home for Christmas,” I ordered.
“No guarantees. But I’ll try my hardest.”
“Tell Ava and Carson I say goodbye.”
“Not Gemma?” I gave him a look that read, Are you freakin’ kidding me?
“I really don’t care.”
“And Liam?”
The look of discontent was clear across my face. I wanted to say goodbye to Liam myself.
“Sure, go for it,” I choked out, which was a sure sign that I didn’t know what I wanted. I pulled my jacket tighter around my torso, but I wasn’t sure if I was just cold or if I was trying to make my stomach stop churning.
“Remember what I told you a few weeks ago?” James asked, shoving his hands in his hoodie pockets.
“That I’m an idiot?”
James nearly smiled and shook his head. “No, I told you to let it go. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but you need to do it or else you’re just going to get more hurt.”
He was right and we both knew it.
“I’ll try,” I promised him and that was the most I could offer.
“Good. I love you, Cammie. I’ll see you in a few months, okay?”
I hugged him harder, before I released him. He patted my head and sent me on my way, following Mom and Dad into the foggy morning.
The plane ride was the longest flight I had ever had to endure. Every minute that passed just made me regret what I hadn’t done. James had been right. I should have just toughened up and dealt with the situation myself. My heart felt heavy in my chest as the regret intensified.
Memories flashed as the plane landed and I tried to push the good things out.
As we found our luggage and grabbed a taxi, I was fighting the tears from spilling.
Gosh, when did I become such an emotionally unstable girl?
Eventually, the taxi pulled up to our home and my dad handed over the money while I got out of the car and stretched.
The LA air was warm – way too warm for what it should be feeling at the end of October. This was ridiculous! It was maybe fifty degrees in London. On a good day, with no rain, it was probably fifty degrees. But not in Los Angeles, California. Nope. It was a high of 75 right now. Complete opposite of my mood.
We all grabbed our suitcases and made our way in to the pristine house. The entire place felt sterile and untouched. But not in that normal home-from-vacation sense where everything was just nice and cleaned. It was as if the entire thing wasn’t my residence and nobody had lived here before.
“Carol! Phil!” I heard a chirpy voice from the stairs and I nearly cringed. I was too tired and angry for chirpiness.
“Susan! I didn’t know you’d be here!” Dad said with equal enthusiasm as he hugged his sister.
“Thought I’d make sure your plants and pets weren’t dead before you got home,” Aunt Susan said, nudging my dad in the stomach. “Also, I doubt any of you feel like making food right now.”
Mom yawned as to confirm Aunt Susan’s thoughts. “We were just going to order pizza,” Mom said, going over and giving Aunt Susan a hug.
“Nonsense! I’ll let you get settled and rest. Maybe take a shower, because you stink, Philip.” I smiled at my aunt teasing Dad. “And I’ll make dinner. I went shopping and everything.”
“That sounds great, Sue. Cam, can you help?” I tried not to glare at my mom, because like her I was tired and wanting a shower.
“Camo! I didn’t even see you there!” She came up and gave me a bear hug. It was her trademark among the family. Big hugs and orange hair. Oh yes, I mean orange.
“Hi, Aunt Sue.”
“Oh look at you. You’re like a woman! You must have all the hot guys running after you.” She nudged me, similar how she nudged Dad, except this time it wasn’t funny. I thought I had a hot guy running towards me, but he ducked left while I just stood there baffled.
“You should have seen her, Sue! Those foreign boys loved her,” Mom teased and I was ready to pick up the closest ming vase and hurl it towards the marble floor.
“Oh right! I saw that article about you and a certain British superstar. Oh, what was his name?” Liam something…” She poked my side twice as if it was all cute and innocent.
Shoot me.
“Hawthorne,” I muttered. “And we weren’t dating.” I noticed my jaw clenching and I tried to stop it. “Just friends.” I was hoping the bitterness wasn’t as noticeable as I thought.
“Well that’s unfortunate. He was gorgeous. You two look good together. But anyway! We can talk about all this at dinner. Go get cleaned up and rest. Dinner will be ready in an hour or so.”
I didn’t waste a moment. Grabbing my suitcase and jacket, I raced up the hardwood stairs, taking a quick right down the hallway towards my room in the corner. Flinging open the door, I dropped my things to the floor, rushed to the adjoined bathroom and cried.
I actually cried.
And I felt like I couldn’t stop.
Those foreign boys loved me? Were they purposefully out to torture me? Because the one I wanted to love me didn’t. He didn’t care. And I cared way too much.
I choked on my sobs and I felt the snot streaming out of my nose. Yeah, feast your eyes, boys, on the beauty that is Camille Everett.
This was pitiful.
I am pitiful.
I bit my finger to try and contain the tears. My eyes were squeezed shut as I tried to stop my voice from echoing.
“Cammie?” Hearing the voice, I tried scrambling to get my emotions in check.
Stop crying, stop it. Stop it right now.
“Sweetie, what’s wrong?”
My mom stared down at me, concern etched across her face.
There was no feasible way to hide the blood shot, puffy eyes and tears and snot now.
“I - I don’t - know,” I tried saying through sobs. I didn’t want to tell Mom this. Ever. It seemed so trivial.
“You wouldn’t be crying like this if it was just PMS or something. Come on, you can tell me.” Mom sat on the floor beside me, handing me a Kleenex to get my face in order.
“Boys are dumb,” I said.
Mom didn’t look too surprised. “You’re just now discovering this?”
“Mom.”
“Sorry, sorry. Any boy in particular?”
“Oh come on, like you don’t know.”
She leaned her head against the bathroom wall, placing her folded hands on her knees.
“Maybe I don’t. You haven’t told me much.”
I took a shaky breath, trying to make sure the tears didn’t come back while I was trying to explain.
“It’s Liam.”
“Okay.”
“And I like him.”
She just nodded.
“More than like. Not quite love. But definitely some pretty intense feelings.”
Another simple nod.
“I thought he liked me back. But he doesn’t.” My voice started breaking as tears threatened to escape.
“Now how do you know that?”
I sighed dramatically.
“Mom. I’m about to tell you a really long story. And whatever happens, do not tell Aunt Susan.”
“Mother’s Honor. Go.”
With another deep breath, I began telling her the whole story. From just beginning to like him, to the incident – as was more appropriate to call it – to the moments in Paris and the beach to where nothing ever happened and no words were said about it.
When I finally finished, Mom was sitting on the edge of my bed while I paced the bedroom. I didn’t feel like looking directly at her. I didn’t know nor want to know what she was going to say.
“So nothing ever happened after that? Neither of you discussed it?”
“No. I thought he’d be a man about it and just tell me how he felt immediately after kissing me. But he just avoided me. But I wasn’t any better, I never talked to him either. I should have just confronted him.”
“Do you think you’re in the wrong?”
“Yes. No. I’m not sure. I just think we both should have done something instead of ignore it. That’s at least what James has been telling me these past few months.”
“James knew this?” My mom exclaimed. “Since when?”
“The day after it happened,” I muttered, rubbing my knuckles, trying not to look at her again.
“What? That’s so unfair! What does he know about relationships?”
“Well, he is in London in order to build a stronger relationship with his girlfriend. I’d say he’s doing a pretty good job about talking about feelings.”
“Still! I’ve been married for twenty-six years. Now I know a thing or two.”
“Okay, well, I’m telling you now. But that’s pretty much the gist of everything anyway, so…”
Mom sat perplexed for a moment, trying to think of what to say when she heard Dad calling her downstairs.
“Carol! Dinner has been ready for twenty minutes, let’s go! Get Cam!”
“I’m not hungry, I’m just going to go to bed," I told her as she stood up from the bed.
“We will talk about this more, Camille.” Mom pointed at me as she started walking out of the room.
“I understand.”
“Good night. I’ll tell Sue you said goodbye.”
“Sure.” Mom smiled one last time, before shutting the door behind her.
I groaned loudly and flopped on my bed.
Don’t mind me, I thought to no one in particular. Just going to wallow in grief for a minute here.
---------------------------------
HI LOVELIES.
It's been a month, but luckily for y'alls, I already have the next chapters written (mostly) so look out for updates within the next week or so. Hopefully week... no guarantees.
Cam's an emotional wreck. I'm an emotional wreck. The drama is endless.
The semester is almost over though and I am so excited.
However, so is Starbird so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go read 'The Intern'! Alssooooo please tell me which chapter you want in Liam's POV! I have two votes only so far.
Thanks and stay classy,
- Kate