↞ ↠
title: is she better than me?
Tamaki x reader!
↞ ↠
request by: Rhia_Orenjinki
↞ ↠
Dating Tamaki had its pros. He was always so sweet and nice to you and would always try to make you happy in anyway he could. He would support you and he'd always be there beside you, even in danger he would sacrifice himself for your safety.
He was a great guy, honestly!
But there was also cons...
You couldn't help but wonder if you were good enough for him. He was just so sweet and nice, it made you ponder the fact that he deserved someone so much better.
You knew it was wrong to think like that, but you couldn't erase those thoughts from your mind.
You kept lying to yourself that you didn't know what the reasons where for the negative thoughts, but in fact, you knew exactly how they started.
Nejire Hado.
She was one of your bestfriends, and she took you right under her wing when she first met you. Her and Mirio also set you and Tamaki up and she was always so sweet and nice to you – well she was nice to almost everyone.
But you still couldn't help but feel jealous of her. You had always admired her, but the feeling of jealousy had only risen when you started to notice how much she and Tamaki had been hanging out a lot more lately.
You still kept a smile on your face, even though your smiles never reached your eyes. Mirio was the first one to notice this and quickly pulled you aside.
You lied straight through your teeth and said you were having a personal issue, so he quickly apologised for intruding and reassured you.
It wasn't going to "be ok" though.
Tamaki's and Nejire's time together had only increased which left you wallowing in grief in your dorm room as you hid from the world underneath your sheets.
You felt awfully angry at yourself for always jumping to conclusions, but you also felt that maybe your conclusions were true.
Your head was lowered as you walked through the hall, moving on to your next class.
"H-Hey y/n," your shy boyfriend suddenly greeted you, giving you a small smile before he noticed the sullen look on your face. "Are you ok?"
"Oh hey, Tama," You faked a smile once again, feeling sick to your stomach that you were lying to him. "Oh yeah, I'm fine, just... things going on at home you know?"
"I'm s-sorry to hear that," You felt bad. You really did. "I hope e-everything get's better, you d-don't deserve to go through t-that."
"Thank you," you whispered quietly, frankly feeling quite happy being in the presence of Tamaki again. Alone.
"O-Oh um, Nejire's here, I-I'll see you at l-lunch," You immediately felt your heart drop as you averted your eyes from him. "Love you." You forced a smile as he pecked your cheek and began to walk over to Nejire, leaving you standing in the hall with tears pricking at your eyes.
Do you really though?
↞ ↠
You were dying for school to end.
You silently ate your food as the rest of your friends engaged in a conversation while Tamaki's fingers were loosely intertwined with yours, his thumb rubbing over your knuckles.
All while talking to Nejire.
You had enough, you couldn't deal with it anymore. Tamaki looked over as you let go of his hand and averted your eyes.
"I'm s-sorry, I have to go," you murmured as you stood up and grabbed your bag.
"Where are you going? I hope everything's ok." Nejire sweetly smiled, making you furrow your eyebrows.
None of your damn business! Your eyes widen as you comprehended how harsh you had almost been to Nejire.
The group was confused and worried as they saw your facial expressions exchange, noticing the tears that pricked at your eyes as you whispered.
"Away. I have to go... away."
You lowered your head and hurriedly walked away, feeling the stares of your friends burn into the back of your head.
"I'm going after t-them," Tamaki quickly stood up and began to walk after you. His heart stopped as he saw you break out into a run, your sobs echoing off the walls. "Oh, G-God."
↞ ↠
Your lungs and legs were burning as you slammed your dorm door shut and slid down it. You gripped your hair as you sobbed loudly – you didn't care if anybody heard.
"Y/n?!" You froze as you heard Tamaki knock. "What's w-wrong? Can I come i-in?"
"Just leave me alone, please," you cried, wiping tears away from your eyes.
"But y-you're crying, I'd b-be a terrible boyfriend I-If I just left y-you!" He argued from the other side of the door, making you cry harder.
Why was he so sweet to me?
He really does deserve someone better, like Nejire.
"Just go back to N-Nejire," You bitterly spoke, immediately regretting the words that fell from your mouth. "It's what you do best, is it not?"
"What? Y/n, open the door r-right now. We need to t-talk."
"Of course we do!" You stood up, wiping tears from your eyes. "I'm obviously not good enough for you, so just fucking go back to Nejire!"
You could clearly see the hurt on his face, even if he wasn't in front of you right now. But he could see the regret on your face.
"What are you on about?!" You hardly heard Tamaki get angry, especially at you. But now you knew you were in deep shit. "If I didn't think you were good enough for me, I wouldn't be dating you! I-I'm outside your door right now anyway, I'm not with Nejire and Mirio am I?!"
You fell back down to your knees as you began to cry again, his knocking on the door becoming more frequent. It hurt to hear Tamaki yell at you, but you knew he was obviously frustrated.
"But you're always with her," Tamaki felt tears prick at his eyes. He hated hearing you so hurt. "Every day. I can't deal with it anymore. I've been convincing myself that it was nothing, but this morning was just so... so hurtful... It made me feel like shit!"
"I d-didn't mean too," his voice quietened, he hated yelling at you.
"Is she better than me?"
Tamaki immediately froze. You sounded so broken, it made Tamaki's heartache.
"Is she prettier than me? Nicer? Funnier? More powerful? Is it because she has a better quirk than me?" You continued, slowly opening the door. "Is she, Tamaki?"
Tamaki stared at you, he felt so guilty that he felt like he was bound to faint at any second. You took his stunned silence and began to close the door, only to be stopped by his hand.
"Y/n, I'm so sorry that I made you feel that way, it was never my intention. The only reason I've been hanging out with her was that I wanted... I wanted to do something special with you, I needed help from her... s-since she's a g-girl, you know? I'm so sorry..."
You felt guilt swell up in your stomach as you stared at him, more tears falling down your cheeks as your lips began to tremble.
"I'm such an idiot!" You yelled, anger overtaking the feeling of sadness and jealousy in your system. "Such a fucking idiot!"
"No, you a-aren't-"
"I'm so sorry Tamaki, I'm so sorry. I should've been more aware, I should've talked to you. Instead, I just let my emotions get the better of my common sense and I-I took it out on you and Nejire I'm sorry-"
"It's o-ok, it's just an m-misunderstanding," Tamaki tried to calm you down as you grabbed your hair in frustration and let the tears fall. "B-Butterfly, p-please..."
He wrapped you in his arms, tightly holding you close to your body as you began to cry. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head before your arms wrapped around him as you cried into his chest.
Tamaki moved a hand up to cup the back of your head comfortingly before he rested his chin atop of your head, beginning to slowly rock the two of you comfortingly.
"I'm s-sorry..." You sobbed out, your cries were muffled as you pressed your head against his chest. "I shouldn't o-of yelled at you..."
"It's ok, b-butterfly," He whispered and pressed another soft kiss to the top of your head. "I shouldn't of y-yelled at you, I was really m-mean and I shouldn't have been so r-rude."
"Y-You're doing that thing again," you whispered before looking up at Tamaki who quickly wiped the loose tears that fell from your cheeks before his eyebrows twitched in confusion. "You're being t-to sweet."
"Well, I have to m-make up somehow, d-don't I?" He watched as you smiled slightly before resting your head on his chest.
"I should be the one making up," You notified him and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. "How about a date? To the butterfly garden?"
You watched as Tamaki's face lit up immediately he nodded quickly, a giggle slipping from your lips before you kissed his nose gently.
"I love you, Tama."
"I l-love you too, b-butterfly."