My body shakes back and forth, the ground beneath me shifting. The movements awaken me, my eyes flying open. I blink rapidly, trying to check my surroundings without being blinded by the light.
"Rise and shine, babycakes," Kal's voice sounds through the room. He's whispering, but it's too loud.
"Shhh," I scold. His hand is on my shoulder, shaking my body awake.
"Do you still want to come to the office with us?"
"Uhm-hmm," I nod.
"Then it's time to get up."
"No," I mumble. "It's too early."
"Too bad. You can sleep later."
"I want to sleep now."
"You're just scared to see Oliver."
"Stop," I sleepily shove his arm.
"Is it too early to talk about it?"
"Uhm-hmm."
"Sorry."
"It's okay," I scoot closer to him, nuzzling against his chest. I try to open my eyes again. This time, most of the light is blocked by Kal's dark shirt. "I missed you."
"I just saw you two weeks ago," he chuckles. "But it's good to see you too, babycakes. I'm glad you're moving back here."
"Me too."
I let out a deep breath, feeling my body start to drift off again. A small nudge from Kal wakes me right back up.
"Come on, Lucy, it's time to get up," he says.
"Where's Ari?"
"She's in the shower."
"Okay," I nod. I really need to get up now.
"I'm going to make you some breakfast, and then we'll go, okay?" he pulls away from me, sliding off the edge of the bed and climbing onto his feet. "And don't be late. We're leaving in half an hour."
"Yep."
I struggle to keep my eyes from falling shut. As much as I want to go back to sleep, today is an important day. And no matter what I do, I cannot back out.
I've been waiting for this day for months now—planning and prepping exactly what to say and how to say it.
I'm not nervous. I thought I would be, but I'm not. At least, not yet. Right now, I feel more tired than anything; a little excited, but that's it.
I climb out of bed, wincing at the cold tiles on my feet. So far, that's the only downside of this apartment. Everything else about it is great. With a large open living space, a bathroom, and two bedrooms each with their own en-suite, the place is big. It matches the same style as the rest of the apartment building, just like Mary and Liam's place, and it also has a killer view.
It is very bright, though, and more modern than art-deco. There's so much white, it would look like a hospital if it wasn't so shiny. Even our kitchen is completely white. It reminds me of offices and buildings from futuristic sci-fi movies.
Maybe it's to prevent murders. There's no way a serial killer would be able to remove all traces of blood from a place like this.
Wow. I've definitely been watching too many murder mysteries.
It's going to suck when I get my period, though. At least the furniture isn't white. Most of Mary's was black, but ours is dark blue and brown. My sheets are white, though, so I'm going to have to add some color to my room somehow. I'm not sure if the place came furnished, or if Mary or Kal styles it for us. I'll have to ask them later.
I head into the bathroom, picking some products out of my makeup bag. I quickly wash my face. It's a good thing I showered last night. I definitely wouldn't have time to do it this morning.
I start doing my makeup as soon as I can, adding a thin layer of foundation and winging my eyeliner the way Mary taught me. I add some mascara but don't apply my lipstick yet. I'll have to do that after breakfast.
I never used to wear makeup this often, but I love it now. It makes me feel so confident, and it also hides my damn pimples. I still haven't grown out of my acne. Besides, I need to look professional. Professionals usually don't have acne.
I haven't bothered unpacking my suitcases yet, but I've opened them all and laid them across the floor. I dig through them, searching for a specific outfit—a dark green corduroy skirt and a white chiffon blouse. The skirt is a perfect length. It reaches just above my knees, so it's not too business-like, but not too young, either. I pair it with some heeled boots, just to make it a little more formal.
"Breakfast is ready!" Kal calls from the other side of the door.
"Coming!"
I step into my clothes as soon as I find them. I'll have to organize my wardrobe properly if I keep having to get up so early. Back in LA, I didn't start work until 10 a.m. I won't be working today, but if all my friends are up so early, I may as well join them, especially if Oliver accepts my request.
I throw my handbag over my shoulder as I exit the room. Kal is still standing in the kitchen, but Ari's taken a seat at the breakfast bar. I sit beside her.
She doesn't start work again until Monday. Transferring from the LA offices to the New York ones was easy. All she had to do was call Oliver and he organized it for her. It's not like she has a typical job, anyway. The past two years, she's just been training to take her position as CIO, and she has to be in New York to accept it.
"Here you go," Kal slides a plate of waffles my way.
"I'm so glad you learned how to cook," I respond. I grab the bottle of maple syrup, drizzling some over the top.
"Your dad is a great teacher."
I wouldn't know. I've never taken the time to let him teach me. I've never had much desire to learn, but maybe I should do it, anyway.
He must've loved teaching the boys. Kal used to send me pictures of all the dishes and desserts he learned to make. They all looked delicious, of course.
I wonder what Oliver thought of the lessons. I know he was there, too. All three of them would learn together. It's hard to imagine that—three huge, muscly guys learning to chop strawberries, plate up dishes, and decorate cakes. It must've been so much fun. I would've loved to see it.
Oliver could already cook a few things, but he must be an expert by now. I wonder if he enjoys it, too.
"Where were you yesterday?" I ask Kal. "I thought you were coming to dinner with us."
"I wanted to, but Ollie asked me to go to the gym and I couldn't think of an excuse to say no," he responds.
"You could've told him the truth."
"Nah, I'm not going to spoil the surprise."
"It's not a surprise."
"Well, he doesn't know you're here."
"He should, though. I don't want to sneak up on him," I insist. "That's what he did to me, and I hated it."
"No way. He'll think it's romantic."
"Maybe I should text him. Has he changed his number? Or should I email him, instead? Maybe you should tell him?"
"You're overthinking," Ari states. "Count to 10."
"Right, right, yes, you're right."
I do as she says, shutting my eyes before beginning my counting. One chicken pizza, two chicken pizzas, three chicken pizzas... I continue on until I reach ten chicken pizzas.
This a technique my therapist taught me. When I feel myself start spiraling, I should take a moment to breathe. Whether it's a wave of anxiety or depression, it doesn't matter. It works for both. The only problem is that I don't always remember to do it. I get so caught up in my own thoughts, I need Ari to get me out of them.
I'll have to remember to take my pills before we leave.
"Alright," I breathe, forking up some more of my waffle. "I'm good."
"I have something for you, actually," Kal changes the subject.
"Yeah?" I ask. He reaches into his suit jacket, pulling out some slips of paper. He holds them out to me. "What is it?"
"The Giants versus the Patriots."
"What?!" my smile widens. "The first game of the season?"
"You know it, babycakes," he grins.
"No way!"
"The whole group's going. We got box seats."
"Hell yes!" I cheer. I haven't been to a Giants game in years. "This is so fucking cool!"
"I know you'd like it."
"What's this for?" I ask. "What are we celebrating?"
"Nothing, really. I just wanted us to do something fun, now that the groups back together again."
"Aw, Kal!" I coo. "That's so sweet!"
"How can you be this excited for a fucking football game?" Ari complains. "It's so boring."
She's the only one in the group who isn't a football fan. It's ironic, though, because she was a cheerleader all throughout high school. She would be at every single one of our football games, cheering the boys on.
"You are coming, though, right?" I ask. "Otherwise the group isn't complete."
"Yeah, of course, but there better be snacks."
"Don't worry, there will be," Kal assures her.
"How are you feeling about today?" I ask Ari, changing the subject. "Are you excited to see your new office?"
"I guess," she shrugs, a teasing smile pulling at her lips. "But I'm more excited for you."
Fuck.
"Don't be," I try to act cool. "I'm not doing anything."
"Yes, you are," she wriggles her brows. "You're seeing the love of your life for the first time in two years."
"It's not a big deal," I struggle to hide my smile.
It's a huge deal. The more I think about it, the faster my heart starts racing and the more my stomach feels like a washing machine.
"Are you going to tell him you love him?" Kal asks.
"No."
"You should."
"No, I shouldn't."
"He'd love that. If you'd just declare your love for him, you could get back together right away."
"Stop," I shake my head.
"Last time I was in LA, you wrote an entire speech about how much you love him."
"I was practicing."
"Well, it's time for your final test—telling Oliver."
"I'm not doing that."
"Yes, you are."
"No, oh my god," I laugh. "Just let me eat my waffles in peace, please."
I shove another piece into my mouth, hoping for this conversation to end. There's no way I can just drop a bomb like that on Oliver. That's what he did to me, and it fucking sucked. I don't want to do that to him.
He probably already knows I still love him. I never told him I didn't. We broke up amicably, not because I didn't love him, but because I wasn't ready.
When he knows I'm back, he'll already be suspicious. It'll be a sign for him, but I'm going to play it slow. I'm going to take it day by day and try my best to keep it as comfortable as going. I don't want to hurry anything. I want it to happen naturally.
We're going to be spending a lot of time together over the next few weeks, anyway. We'll be together during Chad's trial, at the Ferrari Fundraiser, and also at the football game. And through all that, we'll probably be spending plenty of time together at bars with the group.
Ferrari Stadium is also opening soon. There's no set date yet, but Kal told me it would be before the end of the year.
Hopefully, Ollie and I will be together by then. That place means a lot to us.
"He's going to die when he sees you," Ari comments, still unsatisfied with the conversation.
"I'm going die when I see him," I counter.
"You'll be fine! You've been waiting for this for months now."
"I'm going to freak out and leave, or something."
"No, you won't! You can't back out now."
"Yes I can," I scoff. "Talking about it makes me want to head back to LA."
"You don't want to go. You're just afraid."
"Fuck yeah I am," I laugh. But I'm doing a damn good job at keeping myself under control. I'm not running, I'm not panicking, I'm not crying. To a large extent, I'm calm. I'm alright. I know what I want to do, and I'm going to do it. At this point, I just want to get it over with.
I can't wait to see him.