Five years ago, I was a rookie in Wolf. There was a senior female sniper called Sergeant Lilian Wee. She was my mentor and someone I looked up to, the skills I had honed were partly from her tutorage. She was strict, unrelenting and loyal to her country.
And I wanted to be just like her.
I used to be her spotter whenever we did overseas covert missions, hiding on rooftops, sniping down on enemies. It was on one particular sandy mission that resonated well within me, it caused Sergeant Lilian to retire and for me to gain a set of nasty scars that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
The mission was called Operation Sand Dune. We were to rescue a hostage from insurgents, and we were to take out any targets we deemed necessary. I was Sergeant Lilian's spotter for the mission, and we were based a kilometer out from the target location.
One of our own soldiers leaked our position, and as we left the rooftop to head to the rendezvous point in a Humvee; a kid launched an RPG. I saw it by the corner of my eye, grabbed Lilian by the scruff of her vest and dragged her out from the vehicle.
We did not make it out in time. The explosion threw us back, spraying us with hot metal and brought down a building on top of us. Unconscious and delirious with pain, the insurgents managed to dig us out and drove us back to their hideout, tied us up on poles so they could torture us.
I woke up in pain. Every part of my body hurt, more so on my back. It was hot, and dusty. It filled my lungs and throat, scratchy on my tongue. I realized that I was bound on a thick wooden pole and hanging with my hands tied up, so I tried to get up on my shaky feet.
This is hell, I thought. I died and went to hell.
Straining my neck to look around earned me a lashing, the whip cracking against the side of my face. The sudden sound of the whip cracking surprised me, and then the searing pain came. It split my back open, the scream splitting me into two. The pain shot up to my head – exploding, pounding and relentless.
I begged for death.
The one who held the whip shouted, and gave me another round of his whip, then another, and another until I could no longer feel anything on my back. I could barely keep myself conscious, nor standing. The screams had dwindled to murmurings. My back felt wet, the wounds were pounding, and I was slipping in and out of consciousness.
Please just kill me already.
Please.
But I was still alive.
It went silent behind me, and then a mix of voices on my left. Sergeant Lilian appeared on my left, her uniform a mess and riddled with blood. Raw fear filled me, and I tried to reach out to her, but the bonds held me. I received another lashing for moving and I blacked out.
I woke up in a cold sweat, heart hammering and gasping for breath. A nightmare, I thought as I sat up and looked around in the darkness, surrounded by the sleeping boys. Remnants of the nightmare, bits and pieces of it weighed heavy at the back of my mind so I got up to wash my face, trek a few meters away so I could have a breather.
A few minutes after, a voice appeared behind. "Lieutenant, what are you doing there?" Benjamin sounded uncertain. "I- is ... everything alright?"
I turned around to look at him and gave him a reassuring smile. "Yeah, don't worry about it," I said as I climbed back up to stand next to him. "Let's head back to the camp before they wake up."
The forest was in a lull at this time of morning, and it was a peaceful walk back to the camp. "Can I ask you something personal, Lieutenant?" Benjamin asked suddenly, his eyes were glued to the ground.
"Sure."
"Do you have very bad nightmares, Lieutenant?"
I searched his face. "Yeah."
He looked like he wanted to ask more questions, but he was refraining himself, and I wondered why. "If you need someone to talk to about your nightmares, you need to talk to a psychologist," I pointed out. "We have therapy courses back in HQ, and it's good for your health."
He said nothing but he nodded.
"It's better if you start now than later," I offered. "Or you'd end up like Lucas."
He didn't laugh at my statement, so I knew he was being serious. We both knew how the wars have affected Lucas and his young family, it was something all of us didn't want to happen. Hoping that he'd take my advice, I patted his head and we returned to camp together, going back to sleep almost immediately as we had a mission.
.
It has been five weeks since I have returned home, and since I had spent four months recuperating, I felt the wave of homesickness stronger than I ever felt before. I missed home, my sister and my so-called lover. Since international calls were hella expensive, I tend to stick to online messaging and now recently, I was using voice messages.
I sent a simple message, about three seconds to both my sister and Kirishima. It was a quiet moment, so I thought of sending a message before I headed into battle. It was three-thirty in the morning, and I was not expecting a reply back home, but I did get one from Kirishima.
Huddled behind a tree trunk and trying to diminish the glow from my phone, I opened the chat to see the new message from him.
I miss you too. When are you coming back?
Can you send me a photo of you?
I couldn't get his reply in time as I revived my orders to move. Pocketing my phone, I left the cover of the forest to join the rest of the members in the clearing, squaring my shoulders to release the tension there. Dispelling any wandering thoughts, we huddled up and got our orders. We were gathered by the foot of a cliff – twenty clicks north from the target location, the castle, made out of white marble and reeks of oppression.
"We got a castle to bring down," Captain Frank explained as he rolled out the ground map and used a torchlight to show us the important routes. "This castle is an image of the oppression that's bearing down on the country. We got orders to drive out the insurgents and take this place down."
Earlier, we received reports about insurgents attacking the town at dawn. The town is littered with bodies, wounded fighters and destruction. The army came down to fight and they fought for hours. Both groups were equally matched, and they had called for a ceasefire in the meantime, as they both gathered their dead and wounded. The faces of the fighters are grim with sorrow and exhaustion, but they ploughed on despite the odds.
"Take out the sentry guards out on patrol. Kill whoever crosses your paths. Ensure minimal contact. We do not want them to know we are coming. Plant all the C4s that we have. We want to make sure the place fucking blows. Amelia, you got your roost here. You got twenty minutes. Let's get this."
"Yes sir!"
As we scrambled about to get our gear on, the seniors stayed where they were to admire the view before us.
Eight broad, round towers dominate the sky line of this massive castle and are connected by reinforced, firm walls made of brown stone. Crude windows are scattered here and there across the walls in an asymmetric pattern, along with small holes for archers and artillery. A sizable gate with enormous metal doors protects them from the treacherous lands outside.
This castle has clearly been around for at least a thousand years, but it doesn't seem like it will collapse any time soon.
"Twenty minutes to bring down a castle," Lucas stated, as he lets out a deep sigh while glancing at the twinkling lights. "They're overestimating us."
"Bro, we took down a bigger castle in ten minutes like a year ago," I said as I checked my rifle's condition.
"We're the best there is," Marcus added.
"Shut up, I know that!"
"Quit being emotional," Tom pointed out. "What's wrong with you? Are you missing your kid suddenly?"
"Shut up!" His ears turned red from embarrassment.
"Alright guys shut up, we're leaving in two."
Upon hearing Frank's order, we sobered up and stopped the teasing immediately. The light atmosphere dropped to a serious one as we looked at the other – mentally preparing ourselves for the battle ahead. I took a deep breath and cracked my neck – releasing the tension inside before I swung my rifle to my back so I could run.
"Q, you're on me."
The kid nodded and we separated from the group, heading to our roost point. After months of following me, the kid had improved in his stealth and stamina. Now, I couldn't hear his breathing and footsteps anymore. I had a proud smile on my face as we headed to an abandoned look out post which would be my roost.
"Let's head up."
Lying on my belly high up on a lookout post, while I was busy searching for my prey, I could hear the boys quarreling via the earpiece in my ear. Curious, I panned my scope to where the team were supposedly. It was difficult to discern as I had switched to infrared due to the gloom. All I could see were blobs of red, green and yellow.
However, my team members had worn a patch on their arm sleeve to distinguish them from the enemies, but it was difficult when they are herded together like that and it looked to me like they were standing in front of an enemy group they had captured.
"Wait hold on –"
"Oi!" Lucas yelled. "Let him be! Leave him alone!"
"What are you talking about?" came the gruff voice of Gunner. "He deserves to be punished. He is a bad man. He set off all the explosives and caused the villagers to die."
"But you don't need to exact your own sense of justice to these assholes!"
"What are you – a judge?" Marcus voice interrupted the squabble. "Let their own federal forces deal with them. If we mess with their criminal system, it'll only bring trouble to us."
As they squabbled amongst the other, I panned around the area they were in and felt the need to interrupt them. "Quit your whining," I interrupted. "You got company."
Immediately after the warning, they dropped the issue to quickly split up into smaller groups, each member knowing what they had to do to take the castle down within the time frame. Being Wolf, they took down the insurgents swiftly and cleanly, without them raising the alarm.
As I took out potential targets, I heard a muffled welp in the background and I pivoted a little to see Blake on the ground holding onto his rifle, overlooking a young boy hovering above him. The boy has an assault rifle on his hand, and he was shaking with anger.
Despite my warning, Blake was trying to convince the boy to lower hisweapon, and I wasn't expecting him to comply. Obviously, the boy turned the tables around. In a matter of seconds, the boy aimed the assault rifle at him, and I shot him in the neck before he could close the deal.
"Blake, are you okay?" I asked.
"I'm okay, Lieutenant!"
"Roger that."
Within the allotted timing and more to spare, Wolf ex-filed out of the castle compound and waited at the rendezvous point as ordered. Blake had been temporarily patched up and his face was pale as paper. Seeing us all accounted for and Captain Frank checked the time. As the minute hand passed the 6, he took out the remote to press the red button and we watched solemnly as the castle below exploded in various red, white and yellow.
"Alright, let's head back to camp!"
"Go! Go!"
"Move! Get in!"
Further down the rendezvous point were two unmarked vehicles that were meant to drive us back to the base camp. We separated into two and got in the SUVs, it was cramped as the drivers were soldiers from the base camp. They were the only ones who knew the way in.
"We're reaching the rendezvous point in two!"
Passing the tall, metal gates, we entered the base camp and the danger had finally passed. Sighing in relief, the cars stopped at the front yard and we got out to head inside the common area to get debriefed. I thought the coast was clear but alarmed voices were heard from behind and I looked around to see the rookie passed out on the ground.
"Get the medic!"
With the help from Lucas and Marcus, they carried the boy to the sick bay as the medic came rushing in carrying the first aid kit. The medic busied himself over the boy and opened up his uniform to reveal his abdomen. It was the shot taken by that village kid. It must've ruptured a vein or an organ while en-route.
"We need to bring him to the hospital," the medic said urgently. "The bullet has shattered. I don't have the equipment to do this."
"Jesus Christ," I muttered.
"Marcus, radio in for air medical service," Frank ordered. "We need an ambulance helicopter ASAP."
As the medic and those on-hand busied with getting Blake ready to be air-lifted, we sat by the common area and waited for orders.
We were quiet and tension was running high. Another one of our own has gotten injured and even though, we admit that getting shot on the job was common but it was never taken lightly amongst us. A precious live was at stake, and a member of the team was valued.
The other three youngsters were pale with worry, still and quiet as they waited for emergency services to arrive. We were all squeezed into the couch, but none said a word. We were leeching off each other's energy, trying to stay calm in a highly-stressed environment were by experience and nurturing. It was something you'd have to learn on the job.
Two and a half hours later, we heard the familiar sounds of the helicopter blades approaching the base camp and the rookies went out to watch while I stayed behind. I didn't want to get covered by more sand and dust.
I watched as the passenger from the helicopter ran out to meet the group who were pushing the stretcher where Blake lay unconscious. With the boys' help, they managed to get the stretcher in and Marcus followed suit.
Within minutes, the helicopter took off and it was quiet again.
The silence always hit hard. You got a colleague who's gravely injured currently on his way to get treated and you're left behind not knowing what's going to happen. All you could do at the moment was to hope and pray everything will go well.
.
It must be months since the last he went to a hair salon, I realized. His usually straight hair was permed, and it looked perfectly tousled. He had gotten it back to his original hair colour now. He exudes an air of royalty, almost prince-like and he wore a loosely fitted black double-breasted suit, a striped black green tie could be seen.
I could feel my jaw opening and hitting the floor as soon as I saw him, his beauty surprised me, and I was stunned. I felt under-dressed as compared to him.
"Hello beautiful," he said. His voice made me lick my dry lips. He bends to give a peck on my temple. "You look beautiful."
I felt like a potato standing next to him. "You ... you look like a prince."
"Do you like my new hair?" he asked eagerly. "I got it permanently permed."
"Yes," I said distractedly as I ran a hand through his hair, fascinated at the curly strands. "It looks good on you. Any style looks good on you, Kirishima."
He smiled, breaking my heart into pieces. "Let's go."
"So, where did you go this time?" Kirishima asked as he took a bite off a chocolate muffin. "Somewhere hot or somewhere cold?"
"Somewhere that's cold, and somewhere that's hot and sandy," I replied as I made a face when I recalled the mission. "It was very bad weather. I had sand stuck everywhere."
"So, no beaches?" he asked tentatively.
I laughed. "Vacation wise, beaches are alright," I said with a shrug.
"We ought to go there for vacation," he suggested suddenly, a broad grin spreading across his face. "We can bring Amalina and Markus along."
As we chatted and ate merrily, I had the view of the whole café and I was able to see who comes and goes. There was a reason why I always sit with the wall to my back. One of the reasons is not to allow anybody jump me from behind and today was the day someone did.
At first, I was not keeping an eye on the surrounding area as I focused on the handsome man before me. My spatial awareness had lowered shortly so I did not see her coming from the corner.
The woman – the so-called girlfriend of my ex – came forth bearing the anger of a thousand suns and slammed her hands onto the table, which certainly made every occupant look over in surprise.
"What did you do to him?" she screeched.
Both Kirishima and I did not react to her sudden arrival and accusation. I have yet to understand what she meant but I had no patience to deal with such a person. In fact, my jovial mood has sailed right down to my boots upon her entrance.
"You're interrupting my date," I said without looking at her. "Please leave."
"Answer me," she demanded, heaving and taking deep breaths as her voice shook. "What the fuck did you do to him?"
With the woman screaming at us, I do not know the facial expression I was wearing but the boy before me smiled as if to let me know that everything was fine and held my hand before he turned to look at the hysterical woman on the right.
"Lady, what are you talking about?" Kirishima asked.
"This bitch must have done something to Tom," she raged. "Or else he wouldn't have ... he wouldn't have done it!"
"Done what?"
I turned to look at her and leaned on my crossed arms. "He broke up with you."
The woman turned hysterical upon my answer, but I did not partake in a laugh as I watched her grab her head in distraught. Despite the fact that I hated her to an annoying degree, I wasn't about to be as cruel as she had been to me, so I extended my condolences to her and told her to that I had nothing to do with whatever she had assumed.
Obviously, she did not believe me, and my patience was wearing thin.
"Listen here, you flat-chested truck whore," I said flatly. "Whatever your unfinished business with Tom has nothing to do with me. Leave me and my date alone before I gun you down."
"She won't miss," Kirishima added.
The woman turned pale upon the threat and retreated from the café immediately. I stared at her retreating back and gritted my teeth in annoyance. When will she leave me alone, I wonder?
"Was that the girl he cheated on you with?" Kirishima asked.
"Yeah."
"He has no standard," he replied flatly. "Anyway, let's change the subject."
"Okay, I read this statement before in a book. 'If there is one moment, where you wanted to change in your course of life, which part would you change?'"
He smiled. "I won't change any."
I sipped my drink. "You're odd," I said. "Everybody wants to change a certain part of his or her life if they got a chance. Why wouldn't you?"
"If I did, I wouldn't be able to meet you."
I tilted my head. "That's cheesy, coming from you."
"Can't you expect that from me?"
I leaned across, pushing his hair away from his eyes and tucking them behind his ear, resting my hand on his cheek as we stared at each other. Kirishima smiled and kissed my wrist, making me widen my eyes in surprise. That kiss caused an electric shock to run down my spine, and I was taken aback at how it managed to turn me on.
"Don't do that."
He gave me an evil grin.
.
The next day, I entered the office sipping on my iced Americano and approached Tom who looked like he had not slept. He saw me nearing him, and he turned weary as if he was expecting me to insult him or goad him. I wasn't planning to do that, but I did want to set things straight.
"Whatever shit that's happening with that bitch, I'd rather not be involved," I said flatly as I sipped my drink. "She crashed my date and made a fool of herself. If you want to break up with her, do it properly."
Lucas' head shot up when he heard me. "You what?"
"This jerk here has broken up with the bitch," I announced. "And he must've done it poorly because she thinks I'm at fault."
"Finally regain your senses eh, Thomas?" Marcus pointed out.
Tom had no retort and remained silent.
"Why did you suddenly break up with her?" Lucas demanded. "I thought you're gonna marry her. You were planning to buy a ring and all that jazz."
"He must've finally realized that she's a lot of work," I commented and sipped my coffee noisily.
"Insane."
"No," he replied quietly.
"Then what?"
"She cheated on me with Kenneth," he said glumly, his voice low and pathetic. He refused to meet our gazes. "They've been going at it for a few months now. I just found out recently and decided to end it yesterday."
A dead silence hung in the air and I was the first one to break it by laughing. I was gleeful to hear the news. Marcus shook his head at me while Lucas simply shrugged as he got up to pat his friend on his back to comfort him. We weren't surprised at the revelation at all, and half-expected it.
Kenneth was from another team; Cougar Team and he was considered a hotshot. To think that he'd go with the bitch was new.
"Why does she think I had to do with it?" I asked flatly.
"She doesn't know that I know," Tom replied. "She had started to get very controlling with my whereabouts, always asking where I am, or what time I'd returned home. I thought she was simply afraid that I'd leave her for you, and I didn't think she was fucking with another man behind my back."
"Well, karma is a bitch," I said as I sipped my drink. "And I'm glad she kicked your ass."
"Amelia..."
"Okay, I'll stop."
.