Louis's Pov
"Louis? Are you busy?" she asked in a strained voice as soon as I picked up her call.
"Hello to you too." I said cheekily.
"Louis?" she said in an irritated and hurried tone.
"Is everything alright? You don't sound good." I said and I heard her groan in pain and then some more noises of things falling down.
"Are you busy?" she asked me impatiently again.
"I am not. But what's wrong? Are you alright?" I asked her again.
"Yeah I am." She said and hissed. "Actually no. Can you pick me up? I need some help." She requested.
"Of course. Where are you?" I asked.
"In the alley behind my apartment. The one where we throw the dump." She said breathing heavily.
"What the hell are you doing there?" I asked with a frown.
"Just come. Don't mention this to Ron." She said before cutting the call.
"What the hell?" I muttered to myself before getting up from my bed to dress up and rushed out of my home in a hurry.
What is she doing there at this hour? It's almost midnight for God's sake. Is she hurt or something? She promised me that she wouldn't go back to the ring. Then what the hell is this about?
I reached her street and took a left turn instead of going to her building and towards the alley.
"Shaden." I whisper yelled when I didn't see anyone in the alley. This place is super creepy. I heard a very familiar voice groaning behind the bin. I walked towards the voice and found Shaden laying there in a fetal position, holding onto her stomach.
I cursed under my breath and rushed towards her. "What happened?"
"My ribs." She said, hissing when she tried to sit. I placed my hand on her back and helped her up into a sitting position. She leaned into me immediately.
"Huh?" I asked, confused.
"My ribs. I think they are broken." She said after pushing her face into my chest while groaning.
"What the hell? How did that happen?" I asked.
"It's a few people from the ring. They thought I was going back there to fight again and they were pissed I think. They attacked me when I wasn't expecting." She said in a low voice.
"We need to file a complaint." I said clenching my fists. She immediately shot up, wincing because of the pain, but still looking at me with wide eyes.
"We can't go there. I can't go to the police." She said with wide eyes and held my hand tightly to make me understand what she was asking me of. I was about to speak when she cut me off. "And no, we can't even go to hospital. Remember, I hate and am scared of them." she said and I groaned in frustration.
How am I gonna deal with a girl with broken ribs without going to a hospital. Oh yes! My brother. Suddenly my eyes widened with realization.
"Did you call me because of Leo?" I asked her and though I wanted to hide it, I am pretty sure she heard the hurt in my voice. She widened her eyes at the realization.
"Right. Leo is a medical intern. Thank god, I called you." she said.
"Wait, you didn't call me because of him?" I asked and smiled widely when I saw her blushing.
"Do you ask all these kinda questions when you see a girl seeking medical attention?" she asked and I looked at her sheepishly.
"Right, I am sorry. Can you stand up?" I asked and she tried while wincing and groaning in pain. "I can help you, you know?" I teased and she glared at me.
"I am not some weakling. Least of all, I can stand on my own." She said trying again.
I rolled my eyes at her and swooped her in my arms and carried her to my car in bridal style. She just kept whining and muttering profanities at me for considering her weak and incapable. When I didn't respond anything and just kept smiling, she hit me on my arm and huffed.
Only when I buckled her in the passenger seat, I was able to examine her completely under the car's interior lights. She had a busted lip, a bruise on the left side of her face and thank God for no broken noses. Her nose is too cute to be broken. And then my gaze shifted down to her clothes and my eyes widened when I saw what she was wearing. She was wearing my green sweater. The green sweater Char gave me on our 15th Christmas.
"Hey, what happened?" she asked wiping my cheeks making me realize that I was in fact crying. "I am sorry. Did I do something?" she asked with worry. I just kept thinking about Char and wasn't able to say anything. Every memory of her kept flashing in front of my eyes and it was hitting me hard.
I was getting over her. Just in two years. How could I? Is it fair for her that I am forgetting her this soon? Suddenly I didn't want to see Shaden anymore. But I can't just leave her here unattended, can I? I need to speak to Sam. Immediately.
"Please speak something Louis. You are scaring Me." she said getting more and more worried.
"That sweater." I ended up saying at last. She frowned while looking down at it.
"I am sorry. I thought I will return it to you but I wanted to wear it one last time before giving it back. I am really sorry that this happened when I wore this sweater. I am really sorry. I didn't want to ruin It." she said fidgeting in her seat. I nodded my head at her and she looked at me with discomfort. "Is it important to you?" she asked when she realized that I wasn't going to speak anything.
"Yes it is. Let's go." I said feeling empty.
I started the car before she could speak anything else. We were silent the whole ride. Every few minutes I found her stealing glances at me and fidgeting with her fingers. I saw her open and close her mouth trying to find something to speak. I know I was making her uncomfortable, but I need some space from her. At least until I am sure about my feelings for her. I don't want to hurt her or snap at her because of my problems.
I parked the car and silently carried her to Leo's room so that Tia won't see what is happening. He wasn't in his room when we entered. I gently placed her on the bed but avoided looking at her.
"I will get Leo." I said in a monotone voice and walked towards the door.
"Louis." She called me when I was about to shut the door behind me. "I am really sorry. I didn't know that it was this important a sweater to you." she said in a pleading voice but I just nodded at her and shut the door before she spoke something again.
I know I was being cold towards her but I just can't help it. I ran up the stairs and found Leo speaking on phone on the terrace. He said his goodbyes when he saw me coming. He was about to joke something about my appearance but frowned when he saw my expression.
"Hey something wrong?" he asked and I shook my head.
"Actually yes." I confessed after a second. "I think Shaden broke her ribs when she was mugged and she has phobias for hospitals. So that is out of option. Can you please help her?" I asked despite knowing the answer.
He didn't question me any further. He nodded his head and was about to head into the house but stopped in his tracks when he was near the sliding doors.
"Are you fine?" he asked.
"I am not." I didn't bother lying.
"If you need me you will come to me right?" he asked and I again nodded at him. I always share everything with him. He is my elder brother at the end of the day.
"Good. I will be with Shaden then." He said walking down. I immediately called Sam.
"It better be something important. I didn't want to be woken from my slumber for-" I cut off his lazy and sleepy voice.
"It's not fair for Char if I am having feelings for Shaden soo soon." I said and I heard shuffling on the other side.
"Louis, what are you speaking?" he asked, now sounding more alert and awake.
"I loved Char since the day I met her. I still love her. I don't think I am over her. I don't think I will ever be. But Shaden? I don't know. I mean I really really like her. Maybe just as much as I liked Char. But I don't know. I mean, I know everything about Char. Like I know every single thing about her. Even her deepest and darkest secrets.
But I don't even know the first thing about Shaden. I don't know her real name for speaking out aloud. She is very secretive. She lies to everyone around her. And every time I see her, I see at least one new scar or a bruise. I don't even know if everything I know about her is a pretense or the real her. I am so confused. I don't want to lose Char over something I am so unsure of." I ranted and when I realized that Sam was still being quite to give me space to speak and to organize my thoughts I took a deep breath.
"What if Char gets disappointed at me for choosing someone like Shaden who I am this uncertain about? And she doesn't deserve me getting over her this soon." I said finally.
"Louis, listen to me. I am her brother. I am her twin. I know her better than anyone in the world. Believe me when I tell you that she wouldn't be disappointed with you. And why are you so sure that you are uncertain about Shaden? Weren't you the same person who tried hiding her secrets even when you didn't know her well? Wasn't that because you saw her when she was being herself? Did you not start showing interest in her because you wanted to see her for who she was and because you wanted to protect her secret because you know how important that secret is to her?" he asked and just then I realized how clouded my feelings were because of that small uncertainty.
"Yes but, what about all the secrets? What if they were something dangerous?" I asked and he sighed at that.
"Oh my stupid best friend. If her secret was something really that dangerous, do you think she would have her beloved brother by her side and thus exposing him to the harm? You can see the love clearly when she is with her brother. No matter what, she will never put him in harm's way." He reasoned and I nodded along.
"That's true." I muttered.
"Dude, listen to me. I am not asking you to jump directly into a relationship with a 15 year old girl. But-" I cut him off.
"She is 16 now."
"Thank God, I didn't want my best friend to be a creep who kissed a 15 year old girl. But anyway, don't push her away because of your feelings for my sister. What if she is the one?" he asked and I scoffed.
"Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves?" I asked moodily.
"Listen here you piece of shit." He started, only paving way for a half an hour lecture. Finally he sighed and ended the lecture with, "What if you lose her because of your stupidity?" he asked. Just then I realized how I treated her after seeing the ruined sweater.
"Shit shit shit!" I cursed loudly.
"What? What happened?" he asked and I could already imagine a frown on his face.
"I think I already did something stupid like that. I need to go. I will speak to you later. Go back to sleep." I said and cut the call before he could speak again. I ran down the stairs and bumped into Leo who was walking up lazily.
"Shaden?" I asked in a worried voice. Please don't say that she left. Please don't say that she left.
"Huh? She left." He answered with a frown and I cursed again.
"Why did you let her go in that condition?" I asked him stomping my leg like a kid.
"I asked her to stay back. But she said that she couldn't leave her brother alone at her house. And she also told me that you knew she was returning to home after seeing me. So I thought you knew about it. You didn't?" he asked and I shook my head.
"Did you offer her a ride at least?" I asked him sounding resigned and he looked at me sheepishly.
"She said she had a friend who will pick her up." He said and I looked at him annoyed before rushing out of my house.
She was lying. Her brother was with Cameryn and she had no friend to pick her up. She didn't want anyone to know about this. I ran down my street towards her house half expecting her to walk home. Few minutes from my home I found her leaning on a light post. I stopped a few blocks away from her to catch my breath.
"You wanted to walk around ten kilometres with those broken ribs?" I asked her with my hands crossed across my chest.
She turned back to look at me blankly before leaning away from the post and started walking away quickly. As quick as she could with her current condition. I caught up to her fast and she started walking faster. "Why are you in a hurry?" I asked her but she ignored me again.
Okay, she might be angry with me. I am not surprised.
"How long am I gonna get the silent treatment?" I asked jogging backwards in front of her.
She now walked with her head bent downwards so that I wouldn't be able to see her face. I stopped in front of her but because she wasn't watching where she was going she bumped into me. She winced and her hand shot up to hold her stomach. I steadied her with my hand and she glared at me. I almost wanted to drop my hold on her. Almost. By now I think I mastered the talent of holding her glare.
"Seriously Simba. How long?" I asked her.
"Why do you care? It's not like you are gonna die if I don't speak to you." she spat angrily and I grimaced because of the guilt.
"I am sorry about that. I wasn't in the best of my moods." I apologized but she scoffed at that.
"Yeah, one moment you joke and tease me and the next moment you can't speak a single word. I am really sorry to catch you at a wrong time." she apologized sarcastically.
"It's not that. The sweater." I said and realized that she wasn't wearing the sweater anymore. "Where is it?" I asked with a frown. She pushed her hands under a different sweater she was wearing and pulled out my green sweater. Is she wearing Leo's sweater right now?
"I will clean it and give it to you." she said and when she saw me eyeing the sweater with longing, she added "I am sorry for ruining it. It was never my intention." She apologized again.
"No I am sorry for the way I acted. You can keep the sweater." I said and a second later realized that I sounded rude. "I mean I like it when you have it with you. Because it is important for me, I want you to have it." I explained pulling her closer to me. Her face softened at that.
"You say things like this and then act coldly with me." she said with a small pout. I pulled her closer towards my chest and hugged her lightly against me. Her hands were still holding my sweater and stayed limp on her sides.
"I am sorry. I don't know what came over me. I will explain it to you if you give me a chance." I pleaded.
"I wanted to punch you so hard when you acted arrogant with me. I mean, I get it. I made a mistake. I shouldn't have ruined your sweater. I am sorry about that. But I hate it when you act like that with me. It is generally me who shows attitude and you are the one who tries to appease me. Let's not ever switch roles. I will kill you if you do that again." She said pinching my back but I smiled when I felt her arms around me.
"I won't. Let's stick with our original roles. You suck at being the consoling party anyway." I teased and squealed when she pinched me harder this time. "And you don't have to be sorry about ruining my sweater. It is not your fault. It's those assholes who cornered you. They are to blame. So stop apologizing. Let's go home now. I know that Naeem is with Rina." I said and scooped her again to walk back home.
"I can walk perfectly you know." She said looping her arms around my neck.
"Sure. Was that the reason you were leaning against the light post and panting like a dog that ran a marathon?" I asked and she glared at me again.
"Hey, I walked all the way till there. I can walk back the same distance again." She said defensively.
"Yeah I know. And pant like a dog on a marathon." I reminded her and she pinched my neck again. This reminded me of another time she pinched my neck. "Remember the last time you pinched my neck?" I asked her to see her blush. So she does remember.
"No I don't. What happened?" she asked innocently.
I raised my eyebrows at her and smirked at her. "I can remind you by showing." I said and laughed when she closed her lips with both her hands. "You are hurting my feelings here darling" I said with a pout.
"We are not kissing until we know everything about each others. So that is not happening tonight" she bluntly said, making me cough.
"And I am ready to spill everything tonight. So will I get something?" I asked and she looked at me blankly. She raised her head and kissed my cheek.
"You will get this." she said with a shy smile but she didn't avoid my eyes.
"That will do for now. Something is better than nothing right?" I asked her cheekily.
"Right." she said with a huge grin. I smiled at her and continued walking towards my house.
"But you are gonna tell me all about you someday?" I asked her after a bit of contemplation.
"Yes. I want you to know everything about me. Someday." She said with a sad smile.
"Good. I want to hear it from you." I said and she nodded her head.
"You will hear it from me. Only me."
I walked towards my room with her still in my arms. I placed her on the bed gently for the second time that day and stood up straight.
"You brushed your teeth?" I asked and she nodded her head. She pulled the sweater off her body revealing her in her night shirt and under the light I could see the bandages around her waist. "Does it hurt?" I asked.
"I can demonstrate it on you. You will know the answer on your own." She said blankly and I rolled my eyes.
"Yes would have sufficed." I grumbled lying down beside her and pulling the sheets up to cover us both. I put my hand under her head as a pillow and the other one just laid limply by my side. I didn't want to hurt her by placing it on her waist.
"So about the sweater?" she asked after few minutes of silence. I knew this question would eventually come up before the night ends, but I still felt weary to speak about this.
"So do you know why Sam doesn't like anyone calling him Samy? Anyone but you?" I asked and she shook her head.
"No, but how is this even related?" she asked confused with where this is going.
"You will know. That is because Sam's twin sister is the one who gave him that name. So she is the only one who could call him by that name." I explained and she nodded her head in understanding.
"Then why did he let me call him that?" she asked confused and I smiled at her expression.
"Because he likes you a lot." I told her and she nodded her head again.
"What is her name?" she asked.
"Char. Charlotte." I replied.
"Okay. So?" she asked, urging e to explain the relation further.
"Sam and I were best friend since I was in my 4th grade I guess. I met him because of Char." She nodded her head.
"Go on." she said, turning towards me.
"Remember I told you how I was bullied when I was a kid?" I asked and she nodded her head.
"Hmm"
"Char tried stopping those boys but she was small and she couldn't fight. So she ran to her twin and rushed him to help me. Sam came and fought those boys and then all three of us fought those boys and then ran away towards an ice-cream parlor. We laughed at the incident later while eating the ice-cream. That is how our friendship started. We were the trio. Char had other friends outside the circle. But back then I was an introvert and Sam hated being around people. So we were stuck together and that is how we became best friends." I said with a small reminiscent smile.
"Just like how Ron and I met." She said with a small smile of her own and I smiled back at her realizing how similar our stories were.
"Yeah. Just like that." I said and then took a deep breath before continuing.
"As I grew older, I realized that I actually had feelings for Char. I didn't want to be just her best friend. I wanted to be more." I said and found her face grew blank at this. She is trying to hide her emotions now. Is she hurt or disappointed with the information? Is that why she is trying to hide her expression?
"Okay." She said slowly.
"I never confessed my love for her. I mean, I was scared. I didn't want to lose her if she didn't feel the same about me." I said and I felt my eyes moisten. Shaden placed her palm over mine and squeezed it lightly.
"Do you still love her?" she asked when she realized that I wasn't going to speak any further.
"Yes I do. I don't think I will ever stop loving her." I said and I felt her grip on my hand slacken.
"Oh, where is she now?" she asked trying to conceal the hurt in her voice.
"I think she is in heaven. No, she definitely is in heaven. She can't be anywhere else. She is too good to be anywhere else." I said and her eyes widened at the realization.
"She is-?" she didn't need to complete the question. I knew what she wanted to know. I nodded my head at her. She hugged me immediately. "I am so sorry." She said and I just hugged her back.
"I loved her so fucking much." I said sniffing my nose. She patted my back to console me.
"Did she know?" she asked me.
"I told her one week before it happened. She answered me on the day it happened." I replied and the memory itself gave me an immense pain in the chest. I held me strongly, stroking my hair in a comforting manner. I was glad that she was being strong for me.
"When? How did it happen?" she asked finally.
"Two years, seven months and fifteen days." I said and felt her hugging me tighter. "Sam, Char and I were going out to a celebratory dinner to rejoice in the change in our relationship status." I laughed humorlessly.
"She agreed." She said with a smile.
"She agreed." I repeated.
"I am glad that she at least knew how you felt about her. That you knew that she loved you back" she whispered and I immediately shook my head.
"I wished she didn't. I wish she didn't love me back. Everything would have been different then. Would've been better that way. We wouldn't have gone to that celebratory dinner. We wouldn't have been driving late night. She would've been safe. She would've been alive today, here with us. Sam wouldn't have become the arrogant shell he is right now. It was all my fault. I shouldn't have confessed my feelings to her." I said with resentment. She pulled away from the hug and held my face in her palms.
"Did you always blame yourself for her death?" she asked and I laughed again without humor.
"Don't I have a reason to?" I asked and she nodded her head.
"I understand why you could feel that way." She said after a while.
"You do?" I asked her surprised.
"Yes. But I can't agree with you. And I am sure Char wouldn't agree with you too." She said patting my chest.
"What would you know about her?" I scoffed harshly but she didn't get offended.
"That might be the truth. But I know Sam. If he really believed that you made a mistake, or if he thought that Char would've resented you, he wouldn't have tolerated you even for a second. He wouldn't have continued being your best friend." She pointed out and I begrudgingly agreed with her. "Were you with her when it happened?" she asked and I nodded my head at her question.
"Sam and I both were there. She was sitting in the passenger seat and Sam in the back seat. I didn't have a license but I was a really good driver. A truck hit the side of the car where Char and Sam were sitting. The driver was drunk. I came out unscathed. Sam went into a coma for two weeks. And Char died on the spot. Sam couldn't even attend her funeral." I said and I felt the tears running down my cheeks but I made no attempt to stop them. I want to let this all out.
"I was the one who had to tell him about Char. I still remember that day. He wasn't even in denial. It was like he already knew that his sister wasn't alive. I think it is something to do with that connection the twins share. We held onto each other and sat their crying for hours. And the worst part is Sam keeps blaming himself for everything that happened that night."
"It was neither of your faults. You both should stop blaming yourselves." I just laughed at this.
"We had our own share of fights trying convincing each other that the other person wasn't responsible for her death. After a while we realized that we both can't speak to each other about Char without losing each other. So we completely stopped speaking about it. About her" I said, shedding tears in her arms.
She hugged me tightly despite her broken ribs and kept rubbing my back and said soothing things in my ear. I felt like she is the shield who is trying to protect me from my own dark thoughts.
"I know it is hard to realize this and accept it, but it is truly not your fault. If you didn't tell her about your feelings, you would've been dying inside and you both could've missed each other because both of you would have been afraid to lose each other. Yeah, now it is still worse that she is dead, but you at least didn't have to live in uncertainty. She loves you. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself and torture yourself. "
"I know that now. But it is just so hard. It is especially hard because I love her." I said, trying to make her understand that I was actually trying to let go of the guilt.
"If you really love her, then fight for the life which you have but she doesn't. Be happy so that she would know that you are grateful for at least having a life to live. I am pretty sure she loved the boy who was a fighter and a confident idiot. Don't make her blame herself for the failures you make because of her. Let her rest in peace. And the only way she could do that is if you accept this fact and move on. I am not asking you to forget her. Don't ever stop loving her. Do something good because of your love for her." She said and I smiled at the things she was telling me.
"I will. I will make her proud. I am already making room for another person and I am pretty sure Char would love her too." I said and I saw her smile at this.
"That is the fighter and the confident idiot she knew and I am getting to know." She said and hugged me. "And as promised," she said and kissed my cheek. "Now good night. Go to sleep." She said and turned away from me. I smiled at that and hugged her tenderly to my chest.
"Wake me up if it hurts." I whispered and she nodded her head sleepily.
"Not that it would help me, but I will remember that." she whispered tiredly.
"Broken ribs and a broken heart. Aren't we a perfect pair?" I said with a sigh.
"You could say that again." She murmured and I yawned just to realize how exhausted all this talk made me. With that both of us went to sleep. Her clinging to my arm and me clinging to the hope that I can learn to love again.