Trigger warning - mention of suicidal thoughts.
Andy's p.o.v.
I feel so bad for being mean to the new kid. He did nothing to me and I'm not even sure he is gay and I was calling him out for it. But I can't lose my popularity and end up at the bottom of the food chain again. I almost killed myself twice. And I was bullied non stop. I just can't let that happen again. Most importantly I can't let my friends find out I'm gay. I only came out to my parents who fully support me and its going to stay that way.
So here I am, stuck with the new kid who I picked on this morning and I feel awfully bad for it.
" I'm sorry for what I said back there." I tell him.
" it's okay Andy, Really, I understand why you did it." He tells me.
" you do?" I asked curious.
" yeah. You're afraid of your friends finding out your gay. So you pick on me, so they think your cool and aren't gay. If that makes sense." He explains.
" how did you know?" I ask him confused. " am I really that easy to read?"
" I mean it makes sense to me as to why you just came up to me and started calling me a fag for no reason. What else would that mean? Like come on no does that for no apparent reason." He explains and I got to say it does make sense.
" please dont tell my friends." I tell him afraid he is going to tell them.
" dont worry, I wont. Your secret safe with me. Just take it easy on me. I'm fragile." He said with a cute smile and a wink.
" I will. I promise. " I tell him.
" okay." He says with a smile.
" hey follow me." I tell him as I grab his hand and lead him to my secret hiding spot no one knows about.
When we get there, I look at him and smile. " this place is beautiful." He says in aww.
" it sure is. I'm come here to hide and clear my mind off things. "
" cool." Is all he says.
" so you know my name. What's yours?" I ask him.
" oh I'm sorry. So rude of me. Its Remington. Remington Leith. My real last name is Kropp. But I Just like to go by Leith which is my middle name." He tells me.
" cool. I like your name. Its unique." I say with a smile. " my whole name is Amdrew Dennis Biersack. But I just like to go by Andy Black." I tell him.
" I like your name too. " he says with a smile.
" Hey Remington?" I ask.
" yeah?"
" well I was wandering, if you want too...ummm...maybe we can be friends? Like we can hangout outside of school or when I'm not with my friends. " I try explaining to him.
" like be nice to me when your not around your friends, but when your with your friends you will be mean to me? I dont understand you Andrew." He says a bit annoyed.
" Remington I'm trying to explain..." but I'm cut off by Remington saying," Andy its either your friends with me or not. You can't be nice to me and then mean to me and expect me to forgive you. If your friends don't except you for who you are, they arent true friends. You can't be someone your not. You can't live your life lying to yourself and being someone your not. If your friends don't like you for who you are, they aren't friends. Their people who are stuck up and don't give a fuck about others. Would your rather be who you are and be happy. Or someone who lies to themselves and hides and pretends to be someone their not. It's your choice Andy. I'm not gonna stand here and stick around to long waiting for you to decide what you want. This is my first day here and I'm really trying to make friends and so far I've met you who can't decide what he wants. Just think about what I said. Bye Andy." And with that he walked off, leaving me standing there shocked with what he said.
To be honest he does have a point. Who cares what people think. I can't stay hiding who I am. Who cares what people say. I honestly don't give a fuck what they think. And they aren't true friends if they can't support me for who I am. I've never really been close with them anyways. Their just people who want to bring others down and that doesn't make me happy. It makes me feel guilty. I hate hurting others. I just want to be happy for once. And me being who I am now makes me happy. Other me doesn't.
Remington is right. I need to be who I am and that's what I'm going to do. " Remington!!!" I holler out to him. I run to find him. I then spot him walking down the halls. " Remington!!!" He then turns around and looks at me. " what andy?" He says a bit annoyed.
" You're right. What you said back there. I decided. I want to join your side. Cause those teens. They aren't my true friends. There just people I hangout with to talk to. But being with them doesn't make me happy. I want to be happy Remington. So help me please. Show me your ways." I tell him.
He smiles and nods. " okay Andy. " is all he says.