It was as if part of her had died. Almost as if she no longer existed. For the next week, Eir only left her bedroom to get some food once every day and then she left once more, hiding in her room. She did only what was necessary for her survival.
After that first week, she left her bedroom. But she didn't leave the house. Much like she had done when her father had left for war, she stayed in the garden and trained. Her palms, already rough from the countless hours of training, were starting to form new bumps as she kept training. Her staff was almost an extension of her now. She went nowhere without it, and no matter what, she wore comfortable clothes she could fight in. Eir would never be unprepared again.
Cuyler and her mother, Ingrid, kept to themselves as well. It was towards the end of the first week Eir had come out that Cuyler had joined her in her training. Still, it hadn't been enjoyable. The training was spent in silence and there was no satisfaction in winning. Nothing seemed to matter now.
She hardly realised there were people worrying about her. Without her knowing, Cuyler left one morning and went to the castle on his own. Loki had asked about her. He hadn't received a good enough answer. Cuyler hadn't paid much attention. After giving her some time to herself, he eventually headed to her home to visit her.
He didn't meet any obstacles as he got in the house and navigated his way uncertainty to the training grounds. After a while of walking around, trying to find their location, he got out in the back of the house, and he saw her. Loki didn't speak, he just watched her fight.
There was something about the way she moved that was utterly lethal, and he couldn't help but watch with wide eyes as she yielded her staff. It truly seemed to be an extension of her and he could clearly see her years of hard work in the way she fought her invisible enemy. It was a million times better than the time he had seen her fight with the swords, and he had to admit to himself, that watching her fight with the two swords had been a truly terrifying sight - the way she yielded both of them had been fatal - and she was still better than that with her staff.
Loki was hesitant to approach her. He feared that if he did come close, there was a chance she would hurt him but he imagined if he were to call her name, she wouldn't reply, too focused on her fight to hear him. She didn't show any signs of stopping, either. There was only one way he could get her attention.
He took out his daggers, almost regretfully as he walked towards her. And as she twirled to hit her invisible opponent, her staff clashed with one of his daggers. Her eyes shot up, blue gaze intense as she glared in the heat of the moment, and then, she twirled, took a step back, faced him, and quicker than he could have anticipated, she attacked again.
Loki blocked her first attack and dodged the second, his eyes narrowing in concentration as he took a step back to avoid her staff and then cast his own attack. She defended herself without breaking a sweat. She twirled her staff and attacked, and Loki let out a yelp as a blade shot out of each end, grazing his cheek before he pulled away. He could feel the blood trickling down his cheek and surprised, he almost got hit but blocked it in the last minute. He focused.
He matched her attacks in speed and hit with more strength, hoping to win by his side and not his brain this time. It seemed to work. Eir's attacks got a bit sloppy and she had difficulty to block his hits. The fight seemed to be coming to an end, and Loki would have been proud to say he managed to win, but that didn't happen.
Even after her impressive effort against him, Eir lost because she lost her footing.
Loki straightened up as she remained on the ground, ignoring the wound on his cheek as he looked at Eir with a frown. She didn't move, for a while. And then, the blades of her staff retracted and she pushed herself up. Loki tried to help her up but before he could, she was already on her feet. She dragged her eyes up at him slowly and almost instantly, she frowned. She raised a hand and Loki maintained eye-contact as she touched his cheek. Slowly, he felt the skin on his cheek starting to mend itself. Once she had healed him, she let her hand fall and looked away.
"Love," he spoke softly but she didn't look up.
"You should clean the blood."
She walked away, and after a while, Loki followed her. To the side of the training grounds, close to the house, was a small spring of water. Loki cleaned his face with the water from the spring, and after a while, when he was sure he had gotten all the blood off, he turned to face Eir once more. She looked at the water of the spring expressionless, a haze in her eyes he didn't remember being there before. Slowly, he took a step forward. As she didn't step away, he took another step. With one more step, he crossed most of the distance between them and raised a hand to caress her face. She didn't pull away as he caressed her cheek but her blank expression remained.
"Love," he tried once more, lips forming a small frown. "Eir, you can talk to me."
She met his eyes as she swallowed. "I don't know if I want to."
Her voice was quiet from misuse, but he still heard her. He got confused at her reasoning, and it seemed like he showed it in his face, because she spoke once more before he could.
"I don't want to talk about that day. I'm not ready."
"I understand," he nodded as he rolled his thumb over her cheek. "You don't have to tell me anything. But if you want to, you can always ask for me. I'll be by your side when you need me."
She broke their eye contact as she turned her gaze to the ground. "I'm sorry I cut you. I've never used the blades during training before. I-I don't know what got over me."
"It's alright, Eir," he assured her softly, "it's fine."
"It isn't," she shook her head, "I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't help it."
"Can't help what?"
"I want to be alone but when I'm alone I feel alone. I want to do something but I don't know what. Nothing seems to be making sense and I don't know anything any more." She took in a deep breath as she closed her eyes and he remained quiet as she recomposed herself. "I knew some things. My life was a certain way. And now it's just...I don't know what to do."
His hand left her cheek and moved to her chin and slowly, he tilted it up. Eir took a while to meet his gaze and when she did, he spoke up.
"You don't need to be confined in the walls of your home. You can come to the palace, every morning, if you want. Take your cane with you. You can train all you wish, I'm sure any of the Warriors Three, Sif or Thor would have no issue being your opponents, and I'm always up for a fight with you if it helps take your mind off of things. Or if you don't want to find, there's always the library. There are countless books you can read to distract your from anything. You know mother wouldn't mind if you stayed in the palace for that long and I certainly wouldn't mind at all. And if you don't want to interact with people, you could always come to my room and we could just sit in silence and pretend like the other doesn't exist, if that's what you want. You can take as much time as you need. But don't push me away."
She closed her eyes as her face contorted almost painfully. "I'm sorry. I can't help it sometimes."
"Can you at least consider it?"
She nodded as she opened her eyes once more and sent him a smile that seemed to be a faint shadow of all the smiles she had previously granted him. "I will."
Eir did consider it, and she accepted his proposal. She got to the palace every morning and left during the night to sleep in her own room. Her staff was always with her, like an extension of her, and she no longer wore dresses when she visited. Her attire consisted more of armour than anything else. Cuyler joined her a couple of times, and in the end, things had almost gone back to normal.
Eir no longer smiled when she was with the Warriors Three, Sif or Thor. Fandral seemed to be the one who had taken the news in the worst manner, and he almost seemed depressed - for him, anyway - but besides that, everyone accepted Eir's state of grief. Cuyler was in a similar state. He only lacked Eir's determination to get better at everything he was doing.
Loki observed her for the few weeks she stayed at the palace all day long. He thought she was becoming better. When it considered her fighting skills, she certainly for better. She had trained with nearly everyone a couple of times, and she had learnt the way they fought, adjusting her fighting style accordingly. Most of her opponents were impressed, but their approvement didn't seem to be important to her.
Still, she was getting better. Loki could see parts of the woman he knew starting to return in small ways, like the tiny smile she sent just for him when no one seemed to be looking and the expressions on her face - she had started to react to what they were telling her - and he believed getting her in the castle had helped her with her recovery. This morning, was the best yet.
Loki followed the clashing of weapons in the garden, not surprised to see Eir and Sif fighting. This time, though, Eir had let go of her staff - it was safe with Hogun, the most responsible of the Warriors Three - and she had grabbed two swords to fight Sif with. It was an impressive fight he had the pleasure to watch for a few minutes before Eir blocked Sif's last attack and with no hesitation, swiped a foot under Sif as she tried to pull back. The warrior fell to the ground and instantly, Eir placed both swords over her, keeping her in place.
Fandral instantly stood up, appearing stunned. "That's Loki's move!"
Loki let out a huff as he got close, an eyebrow raised as he regarded Fandral with a small scowl. It wasn't his trademark move to trip his opponents - Fandral had only meant to point out Eir had cheated - but Loki's protests died in his throat as Eir took a step back to stand beside him with a raised eyebrow at Fandral and a small smirk on her lips he hadn't seen in weeks.
"It doesn't matter how you win, Fandral. Just the outcome is what everyone remembers."
"I disagree," Sif groaned as she stood up and dusted herself off. "I could have won if you played fair."
"I don't think you would."
Loki couldn't help but smirk as Eir retrieved her cane and handed one sword to Fandral and the other to Hogun before coming to stand by his side once more, using her cane to keep herself up. No one seemed to notice the smirk almost permanently etched on her lips as she watched everyone trying to figure out who would next fight who, but to Loki, it seemed like lots of progress.
He could only hope she would feel better as time went on.