A/N: I am not really happy with this but I decided to go with this because it was the best one. I wrote about 5 different beginnings for this chapter and somehow a writer block kicked in every time I realized this just wasn't it. That is why it took me so long.
I am kind of a perfectionist so there aren't many of my works I really like because I feel I could have done better all the time. For the coming chapters I have more of a plan what I want to write. Hopefully, there will be another chapter before the end of 2019.
Anyway, enjoy!
You swore you've never seen Katsuki as mad as of right at that moment. You thought he had been already annoyed this morning when Izuku and you stepped through the door and into your new classroom at the U.A. – he just couldn't believe that Izuku had passed.
But the way he looked - no- stared you down right now was so different from what you were used to.
"Have you known or not? Fucking answer, flashlight" the blond growled lowly. You gulped as you didn't really know what to say.
Katsuki had cornered you in a hallway when you left the dressing room after your quirk apprehension test, asking you about Izuku and his quirk. Considering that the angry boy had been ready to attack the green head right then and there when he had realized that the other actually had a quirk, you weren't surprised that he was in a bad mood.
You just didn't expect him to seek out you for answers.
"Fucking tell me. Did you and your shitty friend lie this entire fucking time?" He yelled when he realized that you were to stay silent.
You would like to give him an answer but weren't sure what that answer should be. You couldn't tell him the truth since you would betray Izuku's as well as All Might's trust and only telling him half of the truth might cause misunderstandings. Lying might calm him down but you would feel bad about it.
"Answer, god damn it!" He was more emotional about it than you have ever seen him before. Sure, he showed a lot of his anger but this felt like it wasn't just that. It almost seemed vulnerable – the way he was looking at you.
"Kind of" you muttered but the way his eyes narrowed even more told you that he heard you.
"What a shitty answer. What the hell are you even trying to say with that?" the explosive boy balled his hands into fists as he couldn't help but feel kind of betrayed.
He knew that you weren't that close and that you weren't obliged to tell him everything but somehow this hit him hard. Was this why he never had a chance with you? Was this the reason you only ever had eyes for Izuku? If so, he didn't even have the possibility to prove himself to be better because he hadn't known and it made him so mad.
"Katsu" you said his name calmly. "It is a bit complicated. I have known, kind of but I can't really talk about it." Your explanation was rather confusing and you knew but you could only hope he would accept it as it was.
You tried to take a step closer to him but he backed off immediately, obviously not wanting to be near you. You didn't even understand why he felt so strongly about this but you wanted to. You really wanted to know.
"Wasn't I good enough to know? Are the shitty nerd and you so much better than me that you didn't even feel the need to tell me? Were you fucking laughing about me after school? Stop looking the fuck down on me! Don't think this is gonna change anything! I will become the number 1 hero. My quirk is fucking stronger than this loser's. I will fucking end him" He stated, making your eyes widen.
You frowned deeply as you couldn't help but feel slightly angry as well. What was even his deal?
"Katsu, stop! Not everything is about you and your crazy rivalry with Izuku! His quirk has nothing to do with you" you told him, now glaring back at him. "If you are worried about not having a victim to bully anymore – newsflash! Bullying is uncool and never welcome, so stop doing that" you added, crossing your arms in front of your chest.
"You don't fucking understand but it's always been like that. Everything being about me? As if! All you see is fucking Deku anyway. Your world circles around this shitty nerd, so don't even act like I've ever had even a chance" he spat, small explosions are now coming from his palms as his glare became even more aggressive.
"What chance? I don't even know what you want from me! Izu-chan is my best friend since childhood so obviously he is important to me!" You were as dense as ever as it came to his real emotions but he already accepted that you wouldn't pick up on any hints he threw your way.
"Whatever. This is stupid. You don't understand anyway. Tell the shitty nerd that this will change nothing. He always has been and always will be a loser" with that Katsuki turned around and walked down the hallway without looking back once, leaving you there.
You were so confused since you weren't able to understand him. It had always been the same. When the three of you were kids, you didn't get why he was so keen on putting down Izuku at every chance he got. Growing up, you didn't get why he went even so far as to bully the poor boy even more and tell him horrible things.
More recently his attitude, especially towards you became so ambivalent you couldn't keep up. After kindergarten you had to admit you hadn't been found of the blond. He became a bully and you didn't want to put up with that. All this had reached its peak when he told your best friend to jump off the roof.
But then the incident with the villain had happened.
The aggressive, fool-mouthed, narcistic boy had jumped in to protect you and for the first time since you had been in kindergarten you had thought: "Maybe there was a good heart underneath this tough front"
Your relationship took a new turn and even though it annoyed you that he still picked on Izuku, you tried to see the good in the boy – the side he showed you when he was protecting you.
It had worked out for some time as you realized that he wasn't too bad after spending time together but today everything went down the hill and you were honestly disappointed.
You thought you could become friends but today he clearly told you off. The worst thing were your mixed feelings. You couldn't help but feel guilty about this whole thing, even though he was the one to confront you and act like you stabbed him in the back.
"Why is he so complicated?" you whispered to yourself as you slowly made your way to leave the building.
"Maybe he just needs time" you thought.
-
You were so wrong. You were seriously wrong. Together with your new classmates you were watching the fight between Izuku and Katsuki through the screen of the monitory room and you couldn't help but be extremely worried.
The training was supposed to be a heroes vs. villains match with the goal for the heroes to reach a bomb look-alike while the villains were supposed to protect it. All this happened in a building. But it had turned rather personal real fast between the green haired boy and the blond. Your hands covered your mouth as you watched how the explosion boy was seemingly trying to kill your best friend.
Izuku and Ochako as heroes were against Katsuki and Tenya as villains. While Tenya still waited in the room with the bomb, Katsuki had rushed where Izuku and Ochako would be but obviously his only target was the green eyed boy since he ignored the brown haired girl completely. She was able to slip past Katsuki, not surprisingly, so now she was up against Tenya while Izuku somehow tried to not get killed by his childhood bully.
Luckily, Izuku was good at reading Katsuki's movements, so he was able to dodge a lot of his attacks but Katsuki wasn't stupid and soon realized that he had to change up his game.
There also seemed to be a lot of talking and yelling going on but unfortunately you couldn't hear a thing. You could imagine what this was about, though.
"Izu-chan, Katsu..." you mumbled quietly, worry clear in your eyes. You stood completely silent the entire time. You wanted to yell at All Might to finally make them stop. Especially, after Katsuki attacked him with one of his suits gadgets which was strong enough to rip an entire hole into the building but there was a small voice in your mind that told you that this was what these two needed. A confrontation on eye level.
The other students were concerned as well and actually voiced that out but to no avail. All Might only warned the two boys that he would stop the fight, if they went too far again.
After some more minutes and Izuku kind of destroying the entire building by hitting the ceiling with a pretty strong punch, it was finally over. Izuku and Ochako won since she was able to get past Tenya and to the bomb.
Even though, your friend was hurt again due to him not being able to control his quirk, you were reliefed it was finally over. Immediately, the big eyed boy was brought to Recovery girl so she could heal his broken arm and legs.
You wished you could go with him but you were next.
"Are you ready?" The guy that you mentally called Pikachu but was actually named Denki Kaminari asked you with a friendly smile on his face.
"Of course, let's do our best, partner!" You chirped, trying to ban your concern for your friend to the back of your mind, so you would concentrate at the task at hand, protecting the bomb from the hero team.
"Great! You were pretty cool the other day! I am sure you and me are going to be a great team and maybe afterwards we could go on a date and-" as Denki rambled on you couldn't help but sneak a look at Katsuki who was deep in thought and looked kind of dejected.
"Is it just because he lost or is there something more?" You questioned internally, slowly turning away from the complicated male to pay attention to your teammate who was now talking about a date the two of you could possible go on.
-
In the following few days things calmed down. At least they went back to normal. Izuku told you about how Katsuki actually had cried while declaring that he would always be better than the big eyed boy before he walked off. He also told you that he tried to explain the situation but Katsuki wouldn't listen but say stuff about Izuku looking down at him.
It all fitted with what had happened between Katsuki and you on the same day but the way it affected you was different. Katsuki still bullied Izuku and kinda everyone else around him but ignored you for the most part.
If you stepped in whenever he bullied your friend, he would scoff before taking his leave. It saddened you more than you were willing to admit but you weren't sure what to do about it. You didn't really feel like you said something especially mean to the blond that day but in some way or another you must have hurt him.
You had often clashed in the past but he never took it personally before.
Izuku, who noticed the change as well, advised you to talk to him about it.
Knowing it was the right thing to do, you decided to try just that but it wasn't an easy task since you didn't know how to talk about it.
"I don't even get why you are so keen on talking to him" Mina admitted as her, Tsuyu and you were making your way to the cafeteria for the lunch break.
"Yes, he seems like a hotheaded idiot and you said you never really were friends, so why running after him?" Tsuyu piped in, ending her sentence with a frog like noise.
"I don't even know myself. I guess, even though we weren't always on good terms he was a huge part of my childhood. We somehow always ended up in the same class, we fought about Izu-chan a lot, sure, but then there was also this time he actually saved me and I saw another side of him. I guess, I just see him in a new light. He is still a ball of rage but there is a good heart underneath and I would like to see more of it." You explained, distressed, you ran a hand through your hair, messing it up in the process. A sigh escaped you lips, underlining that you felt strongly about this.
By now you were standing in line for the food.
"Are sure you aren't crushing on him?" The frog girl said without any hesitation. Not really expecting this answer, you lost it.
"What?" Your eyes were wide in shock.
"How cute! It is like the beauty and the beast just that he isn't really ugly just his personality is" Mina clapped her hands in excitement but you just frowned.
"But wouldn't that go against everything the beauty and the beast stands for? I mean, it is literally about learning that love is more about personality and goodness of the heart and not about ones appearance?" you conveyed, slightly turning the attention to the fairytale instead of your so called crush.
"That's not the point!" Mina claimed, rolling her eyes at you. "Who cares about the meaning of some old-school fairytale? The more important thing is, do you really have crush on him?" she added, her eyes twinkling.
"No! I never really looked at him like that. Besides, he doesn't really like me, so it would be a lost cost chasing after someone like him" you enclosed while trying your hardest not to blush. You never thought about it like that.
Katsuki and Izuku always had been a part of your life. While Izuku took the role of your best friend, Katsuki turned into the antagonist to some extent. While you could never see Izuku as anything more, you only started to see Katsuki differently a few months ago when he saved you and somehow proved there was more to him.
But was that really a crush? You never really had a boyfriend or even romantic feelings for someone, so what felt it like having a crush? Or even love? Would you know when it happened? And what were the signs exactly? Was it even the same for everyone?
You were pretty much lost in thoughts before someone ripped you out of them in a rude manner.
"Idiot, either you move your useless ass or step the fuck out of line." The angry voice made you jump and when you looked up and saw the male you were just thinking about. You couldn't help but stare at him like he just murdered someone, before you turned around without a word and joined your friends who stood a few steps ahead of you, watching the exchange with curiousity flashing in their eyes.
Katsuki raised an eyebrow in question because of your strange behavior. He had ignored you for the most part but you usually always had some kind of comeback, so he thought something was off when you just turned your back on him, even though that was what he had been doing for the past few days.
-
After that day and some serious thinking about Mina's words you really needed to try and get on better terms with the spiky haired male. If you weren't able to interact with him, you would never be able to understand why you were so interested in him since recently.
You just weren't really able to catch the blond alone. Although, he had some anti-social antics, he made friends within the class and usually hung around them. You didn't dare to talk about your problems in front them and since you were sure he wouldn't be willing to spill the beans immediately, you didn't want to be rejected while having other people watch you.
Also, it was Katsuki you were talking about. His rejection would't be a normal "I don't have time right now" but you were sure his answer would be more creative and more hurtful.
You weren't particular shy but you weren't in for a public humiliation.
The universe seemed to want to give you chance, though, as you somehow happened to stumble in the boy in the training center of the U.A. - all alone.
You had forgotten your notebook and when you entered you realized that the explosive male stayed behind to train some more. For a moment you just stood at the entrance, watching him in awe as he used his quirk in a rather skillful way. It was very impressive how he became that much better in such a short time.
"Are you gonna gap at me like a fucking fish or do you want something?" The male yelled, ending your train of thoughts. Embarrassed, that you didn't even realize that your mouth hung open, you tried to compose yourself before you approached Katsuki. He watched you come closer with narrowed eyes.
"I forgot something" you stated, not really knowing how to talk about what you actually wanted to talk about. You probably needed to get it out straight because he surely won't do you the favour and bring it up.
"Cool, now fuck off. I have some training to do" rude as ever he turned his back on you.
"Wait" you spoke up before he could get into what he had been doing before again. He sighed in displeasure.
"You are fucking annoying so what? I am trying to train here and have no time to waste on your stupid ass" he growled aggressively. His red eyes held a specific coldness that made you uncomfortable.
"What's going on with you?" You ignored his snarky remark and came straight to the point, hoping he would cooperate.
"What?" He slightly tipped his head to the side, looking at you in confusion.
"Stop acting like you don't know. You are ignoring me and now you act even ruder than usually" you accused him, your eyebrows narrowed as you stared at him, wanting to have some reaction.
"What is it to you?" A smirk now played on his lips as he casually ruffled his already wild hair. That wasn't really what you expected him to say. You thought he would deny it and maybe even insult you for being an idiot again.
"So you admit it?" You asked dryly, your frown deepened.
"Yeah, so what is it to you? Is the princess annoyed that not everything is about her?" The sarcasm dripped off his voice and you could tell that he was referring to what you said to him before.
"Annoyed is the wrong word. More like confused since she doesn't know what she said to offend the noble knight like this" you decided to play along. He huffed at your nickname, his eyes shifted to the side as he blushed slightly.
"Maybe that he literally told her but she is too stupid to even catch on" he scoffed, still not looking at you.
"Maybe he wasn't exact enough because he always beats around the bush" you retorted, your mind going over your last conversation but you couldn't find what he was hinting on.
"He could fucking scream it to her face and she would be too idiotic to see" he scowled as he took a step closer.
"So why doesn't he? The princess would be enlighten" you responded, also taking a step closer so now you were standing nose to nose to each other. Both of you were glaring daggers at the other.
"As I said before, what is it to her? It isn't like she payed much attention to the knight anyway" his voice was low as his words came out, making you slightly shiver.
"Maybe because the knight is actually important to her. Even if he wasn't a close childhood friend, he still was a part of her life growing up and every normal person wouldn't want to throw that away just like that! Also, usually the knight isn't such a drama queen and gets over the small fights they have but this time he ignores her like a five years old that didn't get the action figure that he wanted for Christmas!" You confronted him, not holding back anymore. His eyes widen and for a moment he was silent, needing time to actually comprehend your words. Blinking, he just stared at you.
"Cat's got your tongue?" You added when he didn't reply to you.
"What's even with this fucking princess and knight thing, damn it. You are so fucking annoying!" He shouted. You facepalmed as he totally ignored what you were actually trying to say to him.
"First of all, you called me princess first and second of all, is this really what concerns you most right now? Because if it is, I give up! Like I approached you, so we could just go back to normal but you wouldn't even listen. If you like it better when we don't talk to each other, fine! I won't bother you anymore! Gosh, if you told me what I said that was so hurtful, I even would have said sorry but you even are too stubborn for this" you started to ramble, before you turned around and stalked out of the training hall, not putting up with his attitude.
The red eyed boy bid his bottom lip as he watched you leave. He put one of his feet forward but stopped right then and there from running after you. His pride was too strong.
-
You were still fuming when you were on your way home. Your gaze was fixed on the sidewalk in front of you as you repeated the fight over and over again. You shouldn't even care anymore.
"How can one human being be so complicated?! I am not asking him to tell me his deepest secrets but what I said that was so bad he couldn't talk to me about it. He is so annoying and stubborn and unreasonable and childish and an utterly as-" your string of insults was broken by a shout that came from behind you.
You stopped and turned around, clearly annoyed but you decided not to ignore the person in case it was something important.
What you didn't expect was Katsuki running up to you. He only stopped when he was right in front of you, breathing heavily and his face was slightly red as if he's just ran all this way to catch up to you.
"I didn't think you would be gone so fucking fast" he huffed but his words just worsened your mood. You just turned around and went on with your way home.
"Wait a fucking minute. I didn't run all this way for nothing, flashy" you slowed down your steps but didn't stop. Soon he fell in step with you, walking beside you.
"This is so fucking annoying" he claimed "but let's just fucking forget about this all" he suggested, not looking at you as his red orbs were fixed on the ground.
"What? When people fight they should-"
"I don't fucking care, okay? Keep your shitty relationship advice for yourself. I do this my way or not at all. I don't want to freaking talk about it, so let's just the hell move on. Having you stalk me all the time is so irritating." Your cheeks flushed at his last remark.
"You realized I tried to talk to you before?" You questioned.
"I would need to be stupid to not notice. Fucking stop it, though. It is creepy." He mumbled, now looking away from you.
"I wasn't stalking you. I am just mature enough to actual try to solve my problems instead of just ignoring them" you scoffed, also not looking at him since you couldn't believe you were caught.
"Whatever. It isn't important anyway. It is just maddening to have you run after me like a lost puppy" Katsuki retorted, pushing his hands in the pockets of his pants.
"You are exaggerating. Yeah, I was looking for an opening to talk to you but most of the time I was only there because we are in the same class" you explained, pouting.
"But okay, if you cannot talk about it let's just forget about it until you can. It is just as annoying having you ignore me all the time" you tried to play it cool, finally looking at him again. Your eyes met as he was just returning his gaze to you, too. Looking in his red eyes, it calmed you down seeing that they lost a bit of the coldness and hostility they held whenever he looked at you lately.
"Fine" he agreed, being so lost in thoughts that he didn't even took the opportunity to tease you about literally saying that you didn't like it when he ignored you.
He actually didn't plan to make up with you after he felt like you chose Izuku's side once again by not telling him anything. Combined with you always running back to the smaller boy, he really wanted to just have you out of his life. Something had changed when you told him that he was somewhat important to you. Suddenly, he saw an opportunity to actually make you see him and even though it took so much to actually run after you, he decided he would try one more time.
One more time he would try to show you that he was better than Izuku could ever be. One more time he would prove to you that you should forget about the green head and be with him.
Turned out, not even his pride, something that defined him in so many ways, was stronger than the feelings he held for you since you were about 4 years old.
A/N: From now on I will update my process with the chapters on my profile. You dont need to follow me but if you are wondering why I didn't upload for some time, you probably find the answer there.