A week left for our marriage. I felt like my anxiety was at its peak. I wanted to talk to Desmond but I didn't. I don't want to disturb him. Let him think and gain enough courage to cancel the marriage himself.
I was looking at the stars. I feel calm whenever I look at them. They are so beautiful. I saw a shooting star and being a dreamer, I closed my eyes and wished,
"Please, God! Work this marriage out and make him love me." I smiled. I know that this is nothing but a fantasy but it's not wrong if I want to work my marriage out.
As I was looking at the stars mother came from behind,
"Hey, Mother!"I said as my mother sat beside me on the bench. I put my head on her lap and closed my eyes. She runs her fingers through my hairs and began to say,
"Ester, We are going to buy your wedding dress tomorrow." I just smiled. I still can't believe that I am getting married.
My mother and I went to the boutique to buy a wedding dress. Mother selected a few dresses. I tried them but none of them look good. I wore a mermaid dress but the fitting isn't to my liking.
After spending a lot of time, I chose a Gown. It has net sleeves and a simple evening-length gown. It looked really elegant and graceful. But, Mother didn't like it.
"It's too simple, Love.'' Well, she is right, I am not going to a party. It's my wedding. I should look at the most beautiful. Finally, they showed us their best wedding gown. It was a floor-length lace gown. The front as well as the sleeves, everything was lacy and lavishing. It has such grace I was seeking. Mother looked at me with awe.
"It's perfect." Mother kissed my forehead as I smiled at her.
Finally, after buying the dress, we went home and I didn't allow anyone to look at the dress. It feels like a dream.
I was laying on the bed and my mind was hazy. I couldn't think straight. Tomorrow is my wedding. Just that thought made me nervous. I was pulling my hair to calm myself but then my phone rang. My heart stopped for a second when I saw the caller ID. It's Desmond. I took a deep breath and attend the call,
"Hello, " I spoke in a soft voice.
"Hi...Tomorrow is our marriage." I blushed when he said that.
"Yeah... I know."I said rather nervously.
"You are nervous."He said in amusement. "What do you expect?" I asked. I smiled and said, "Yes, I am, a lot."
"You have proven that you are acquiescent," He said. "And stupid too, right?" I said dryly.
"Yes." He said. "I don't need you to tell me."
"Judging from your choice to marry me." He said.
"Huh?"It was my only reply.
"Don't Blame me For what happens next. My soon to be wife. Mrs Ester La Corte" He said as he cut the call. I just remain motionless. What is he talking about? At this point I know my choice to marry him might be wrong but I want to take the risk of loving and being loved by him, I don't know why but I do.
***
I was pacing around the dressing room in my gown. I felt like I was going to faint from nervousness. My heart is beating so fast.
My hands were cold as ice. Mother and Father entered. Their eyes teared up when they looked at me. We hugged and I held my tears back. They kissed my forehead then father said,
"My daughter looks so pretty."Father smiled. Then, father offered me his arm as I wrapped my one hand around it while mother handed me the bouquet of Roses. I stared at them as I admired their beauty.
We got out of the car. My heart skipped a beat by each step I took closer. I felt like I'm gonna faint. My throat was dry. We stopped at the altar. Desmond offered his hand. I let go of my father's hand and took his.
I looked at him. He looked so Handsome. His beard, His perfect jawline everything.His perfectly combed raven hairs. I blushed when we exchanged rings. I felt so nervous.
"Do you Ester Willows, Take Desmond La Corte as your lawful husband?"
"I do.."I said in a whisper. A part of me was so happy while another part of mine was scared to no extent.
"Do you Desmond La Corte, Take Ester Willows as your lawful wife?"
"I Do."He said firmly.
"I pronounce you as Husband and Wife"
Congratulations for pushing yourself in hell like he said. I know it's not what I have imagined or gonna be something memorable. I cannot say it's worth it. But something inside me wanted to love him. As if he needs it. Ridiculous, it's not the truth.
"You may now kiss the bride" I doubt he'll do it.
He pulled up my veil and leaned in. I could feel his breath on my face. I looked at his Intimidating Gray Eyes. That moment of eye contact made my heart stop as I closed my eyes. He leaned in and kissed the side of my lips below my lower lip.
I slowly opened my eyes as he quickly pulled away as the crowd began to cheer. I smiled sadly. It wasn't the kiss that they thought it was. Even at my wedding I still haven't given away my first kiss. I always thought that my first kiss would be at my wedding.
It's all right, we are married now. That can happen sooner or later. I should be happy. I blushed and looked down when he held my waist and pulled me close to him. The smell of his cologne filled my nostrils.
It was so good.
I clutched the bouquet tightly. He is so tall compared to my petite form. We walked down as everyone congratulated us. I gave my parents a final goodbye. I cried when we hugged. I wiped my tears when we broke the hug. I and Desmond sat in the car as we left.
The drive was silent. We both looked out of our window.
We reached home and he said,
"We're home "I gulped. Home. Just in one day, My surname, My home; everything changed. I got out. He looked at me as he stood beside me. We entered the home and were greeted by servants.
" Ester, "Desmond called me. I loved it when he called my name. I felt butterflies in my stomach.
"This is Savannah. She'll be your maid."He said motioning to Savannah.
"Welcome Ma'am, "Savannah said.
"Thanks.."I said, smiling faintly.
I looked at Desmond whose face held an unreadable expression on his face. Was he happy or Sad?
"Come."He said as I walked behind him. We went upstairs. There's a room when we reached upstairs.
"That's my study. You are not allowed here in my absence."
"Okay."My lips curved upward gently. He looked at me and we began to walk again. We reached the master bedroom on the farthest right.
"That's Our Room"My heart stopped when he said 'Our Room'. We entered as I saw my suitcase there.
"Be Comfortable."He said as he left. I exhaled deeply when he left. His presence is so dominating. A sigh escaped my lips. Be comfortable.
My heart began to race. I put a hand on my chest to calm myself. I decided to take a shower. After taking a quick shower I changed into my Casual Shirt and Trouser. I put a hand on my waist as I stared at my reflection in the mirror.
But, I don't think it's a good idea. It's night and he's not even here. Well, I am nervous, so I am not complaining. I set my clothes in the wardrobe to pass the time. I walked around the room. Only Mother and Father had a master bedroom back at home. It has a master bed.
The left corner has two sofas with a coffee table. It was really beautiful. There's a chandelier too. The dressing table was too big. The right corner has a really big vase. There's a portrait of him on the wall. I wish there would be a portrait of us there too. In our home, Mother is the 'Ma'am', here I am. I felt kinda proud. Since he had no intentions of coming I decided to sleep.
I woke up due to thirst. I saw an empty jug of water. Great. I sighed and looked at the time 2am. I looked on the other side but Desmond was nowhere to be found. Since my throat is begging for some water I decided to get some.
Finding the kitchen at this time of the hour is a distant matter, making up my mind to get up comes first. I sighed as I got out of bed and went to find the kitchen.
I was walking in the empty halls. That sorta scared me. I was walking when I saw a light. I walked towards the light. I got closer and pushed the door open. I saw Desmond in a complete mess. His bow was missing. Few buttons of his shirt are opened; showing his toned chest.
His coat was thrown on the ground. His sleeves are rolled upward. His perfectly combed hair is messy. He was panting. There is an empty whiskey bottle on the table. Is he drunk? I picked the coat and said in a soft tone,
"Desmond, Are you alright?"
He looked at me. He looked drunk.
"Alright?"He asked. He stood up and walked toward me. My heart began to beat fast as he walked closer. His hands are in the pocket of his pants. He leans in, His breath reeks of Alcohol. He's drunk.
"Alright?"He repeated himself. His voice sounds exasperated. I gulped in fear. When I was about to take a step back I was pinned harshly to the wall. I squeaked in pain. He glared at me as he leans in and said in a deep voice,
"I am not alright. I have warned you but, you didn't listen. From now on, whatever happened to you; don't blame me for it.
I don't even love you. Don't expect any kind of love from me. To me, you are a contempt. You are worthless to me. The only thing you can do for me is to satisfy my lust. Apart from that, you are a Disdain.
Now, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
I gasped with extreme fear and pushed him away and ran away to the room. I sat in a corner and cried to myself in fright but not in heartbreak because he already warned me about it.
That's my future, the life I granted to myself because of my goddamn illusions, the misery I bestowed upon myself. I hate myself for being so painfully optimistic.
That's what I am to him; A disdain.