"Move on, but don't forget the past. It makes your present and moulds your future." By N. J
*3 years ago*
I had just begun my fellowship at the New York Central Hospital, NYCH, and was 3 months into what I thought was a beautiful relationship.
Luke, my boyfriend, was awesome and he treated me like a princess. He was everything you'd want in a guy. His only downside - his ego and his temper.
Luke was very prideful especially when it came to money. I wasn't filthy rich but I was well-off. My parents had paid all my student loans and still had me on an allowance. Luke wasn't rich and it angered him from time to time.
Today was one of those times. It was our 3 month anniversary. My shift at the hospital began at 1pm and I was also covering the night shift for a friend, so I'd suggested we have an anniversary breakfast instead of a dinner.
It was so touching how Luke remembered we'd reached our 3-month mark today. He even had it highlighted in his planner. He played his game oh so well.
He took me to a quaint little cafe just around the outskirts of the town. It had a view of the lake. Since I had to go to work after our date, I'd seen it wise to go with my own car. Thank God I'd made that decision.
It was an hour drive from town to the cafe. When I arrived, it was a task to find a parking spot but I eventually did. I didn't know a lot about cars but I knew my grey Maserati Levante Trofeo - which held the promise of the ultimate combination of leading on-road performance and off-road capabilities - was definitely getting me a lot of attention.
I stepped out of the car and locked it. I looked up to find 'Lily's Cafe' painted in red just above the double doors.
I walked in and was met with the delicious smell of pancakes. The cafe had a homey feel to it and I'd highly commend the interior designer who had managed to find a compromise between home and modernity.
I spotted Luke at a table which had a perfect and clear view of the Lake.
He had an exact semblance to Ken in all those Barbie movies I'd watched as a little girl. Blonde hair, blue eyes and lean. He stood 6ft meaning I only came up his chin or so without heels.
He was dressed in a crisp white shirt paired with black jeans and his favorite pair of white converse. He looked handsome and he knew it. He was proudly basking in the attention he was receiving from the female population. I wasn't the jealous type, so it didn't surprise me to wave off their stares.
I made my way over to him before he'd finally noticed me. He stood up and gave me a quick peck on the lips before helping me sit. Luke was a man of very few words and I respected him for that.
A waiter, probably still in high school, came by to have us place our orders.
"Hello, I'm Derick and I'll be your waiter for today," he smiled. "Are you ready to order?" He asked eyeing our untouched menus on the table. Before I could reply, Luke spoke up.
"We'll both have today's special along with a glass of orange juice for the lady and a cup of coffee for me." He spoke curtly.
I gave a small smile at his preference for me. I didn't drink coffee like all other Americans out there, sue me!
"Good choice. I'll be right back." Derick scribbled on his notepad after blatantly checking me out and passing me a wink before leaving. Luke had noticed what he did and simply resumed whatever it was he was doing on his phone.
My cheeks slowly grew warm in embarrassment. I had expected him to be possessive and nicely tell the waiter to fuck off like most guys do in the novels I read, but he didn't seem phased by it. I guess this is the real life after all.
Our food came and the rest of breakfast went by uneventfully. We made little conversation and exchanged "happy anniversary's". After, we were done eating, the bill came. Luke hadn't clearly checked the price of 'today's special' before ordering and was now fuming and ranting about how the café was a rip-off.
I was about to pay for it when Derick, the waiter, spoke up "forget it Sir, it's on the house, courtesy of the beautiful lady by your side." He smirked while my mouth hung open and my eyes grew wide.
I wasn't the only one with a reaction as such, Luke had visibly gotten angrier and stormed off. I quickly apologised while dropping some hundred dollar bills on the table and running after Luke as much as I could in heels.
"Luke wait!" I shouted "Luke come on, I'm sorry." I didn't exactly know what I was sorry for but it was the only thing I could say.
Luke didn't slow down. No, he got into his beat up Mercedes and looked at me with so much disgust evident on his face. "To hell with you, your money, your beauty and your 3 month anniversary. Go fuck the waiter, slut!" He snarled.
"Luke," I gasped but he'd already sped off leaving me a crying mess. I briskly walked to my car and balled my eyes out before eventually deciding to head to the hospital.
Luke had episodes like this all the time and always found new things to say that hurt. But, I understood him, I always forgave him because I knew it was his pride.
By 12pm, I'd arrived the hospital and struggled to compose myself before stepping in.
The first person to notice my red eyes was Kenna, a friend on her second year of fellowship as a pediatrician. She knew about Luke and I. She knew I'd forgive him eventually. Her eyes held a strong disapproval as she walked towards me and engulfed me in a hug.
She smiled, "he's not worth it Kendra. Pull yourself together and get to work. I have to go." She said squeezing my shoulder as a sign of her support before walking away. I did as she said and got to work.
The day passed by in a blur. Nothing seemed to hold my interests and I already begun regretting my choice to cover the night shift.
At exactly 5pm, a young woman around her mid twenties was rushed into the hospital. She was wailing loudly and repeating "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" over and over again. She was bleeding between her legs and that was my cue to accompany the team bringing her in.
We had been in the ICU for more than 3 hours already and had managed to save both baby and mother.
Belinda James was 3 months pregnant and almost lost her baby. I couldn't begin to imagine what had gone wrong in her life.
She was transferred to a room and I was assigned to her. Around 10pm, I had to change her IV bag as no nurse was free to do it. How can a hospital this big be short-staffed? Beats me!
When I first approached her room, I'd heard the sound of soft cries. My heart ached for her. I gently opened the door and found her back to me as she cried.
"Mrs James, I'm Kendra, your assigned OB/Gyn," I whispered afraid to hurt her with even my voice. "Did you know you were 3 months pregnant?" I asked.
My question seemed to add to her pain because she sobbed even louder. She slowly sat up continuously uttering "I'm sorry." She sobbed and sobbed till she begun shaking and sobbing even more.
In a haze of confusion, I engulfed her in a hug. I cried with her. I cried for her. I cried for my relationship with Luke. I cried for the baby she almost lost.
She calmed down after some minutes of me holding her as though she would fall apart if I didn't. We had cried together.
"I'm sorry," we said in unison and I laughed. She merely gave a small smile before I spoke again.
"I'm sorry Mrs James. I don't usually cry with my patients," I laughed again and sniffled. "You could tell me what's wrong and I promise to help in the best way I can." I added.
She seemed to ponder over it for a solid 2 minutes before she begun speaking.
"A month ago, I lost my husband in a car accident. A drunk driver ran him over," she paused as I gasped and felt my heart break for her. She tried wiping her tears before she spoke again "he was all I had. I grew up in different foster homes, was bullied throughout middle to high school and I couldn't afford college. He had been my only anchor in this world since he'd asked me out to prom during senior year," she smiled at the memory "when he married me, his family disowned him for marrying a nobody. He was all I had. He was my lifeline. When he passed, his family took me to court and took everything away from me. It was too much for me to handle. My husband and I barely had friends because we spent each free minute together. I was alone. I am alone. He died with a part of me. The court asked me to vacate our house after his parents claimed his accounts and properties. I had nowhere to go. I fell into depression, I stopped eating, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't live anymore. I had been experiencing a lot of morning sickness and dizziness and I'd waved it off. I just needed my husband," she stopped and cried more.
I held her again, silently urging her to continue. "I went to the pharmacy to buy something I could overdose on and end my life. A kind lady had called me over because I looked extremely pale and ghastly. She asked me to explain the symptoms I'd been having so she could help me find something. I couldn't think of a lie and simply told her the truth. She'd asked me to take a pregnancy test in the restroom, it'd been positive. I couldn't believe it. My husband had left me with something which was half him half me. Before I could leave the restroom and let the lady know the results, my head felt light and I realized I was bleeding. I thought I'd lost the only thing Matt left me with. I thought I'd killed our baby. I'm sorry, I didn't know I was pregnant. If I did, I would've eaten better, slept better and I would have fought Matt's family harder. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Matt, I'm sorry..." She sobbed uncontrollably.
I understood her.
I felt for her. Life had been unkind to her. It wasn't her fault. A sudden surge of determination came over me as I spoke to her.
"Wipe your tears. That was the past, you're a fighter and you've got to keep fighting for your baby. Let your past motivate you to fight even more," I paused gathering in air for my next words, "from today, you're not alone. You and your baby are not alone. You have me. Let me help you, let me give your baby hope." I smiled.
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Expect a double update next week as my Christmas gift to you readers....
Love Joy.