"What did you mean when you said you wish I could see that Jungkook can be a bad person when he shows what hides deep inside of him...?"
He gulps his food down, glancing away but holding his chopsticks without using them anymore. "How can you remember those words...?" he chews on the rest of the food still left in his mouth, his eyes now fixed into mine. "I always remember everything important..."
His chest inflates and deflates to let a heavy sigh go out, his tongue passing over his lips furtively. "I said that because...I know him for a longer time than you do and...I know some things that you don't...about him..."
"What kind of things?" I immediately ask, feeling worried at the sound of those words. "Things I wouldn't want you to know about, y/n..." he lands his look on his food, going back to eating to avoid giving me the truth I want to hear.
"Jaemin, stop that and tell me what you're talking about," my heart goes on a race, the beating of it losing its steadiness as I cannot handle this unknown. He puts his arm down against the table and gazes down. "This is not the first time that we get into a fight but...even though this one we just had was the worst and will always be, we already fought but...you weren't there so no one stopped him from doing what he wanted..."
"What do you mean...?" my eyes widen, the tone of his voice explaining all the seriousness of this. He puts his chopsticks down on the table and passes his hand through his hair. "It happened the day of your birthday this year, I remember that day I was about to come to your house to surprise you but...before I left my house, I was already arguing with him through texts and he got pretty worked up about the fact that I was going to see you and be by your side all day long...he was already kinda in love with you at that moment and...a bit too much honestly but whatever," a sigh runs out of his mouth as the story seems to be getting stressing. "He knew I was about to go to your house with some chocolates and flowers and champagne and all you know...so...he arrived at my house before I could come and see you but...this went totally bad and we came to blows...this is the reason why I couldn't come on time that day..."
My brain dysfunctions for a moment, recalling those things and now not believing it. This is way too crazy to be true but those are obviously not lies, I remember that he came home with bruises and injuries on his face that day but claimed that he fell down the stairs of his house. "What made you two go so far...?"
"Well...I know I'm the one who got you two together but...on that day...I was a bit upset about his behavior since I was already in love with you...I really wanted to see you and spend that special day with you so I let my mind speak a bit too much and told him to stop being so obsessed with you...then he didn't like the things I said so...he got mad and used rude words so I did as well and that blew up..."
"Gosh..." I cover my face with my hands, feeling hurt just to think about it. "You should have told me the truth..."
"I couldn't or else you would have known I was friend with him," he smiles to release the tension, grabbing his chopsticks to feed himself again. "I had to keep it secret to make it a surprise for you."
"Why did you make us end together...?" I ask from our of nowhere, not even realizing how risky this can be. "I mean...if I was in love with someone, I would never want my best friend to date him if he's the one I want..."
"Yeah but...what would you do if that someone you love was talking about the one he wants and keeps on dreaming of?" his brown eyes now back into mine kind of makes me shut it, understanding his point of view and feeling hurt about it. "I knew you were infatuated with him and would have done everything to have that type of man in your life...I knew he liked you too...so...I just did what was the best for you...'cause...I could feel that you would have been happy to be with him...even though I know how he is and how bad this could get..."
I keep quiet for some seconds, not handling this and now feeling how must I affected him in a wrong way without even seeing it once. "Why...could this get bad...?" I allow myself to speak freely with him, feeling like before and having our conversation about all our worries. "No matter the fact that I know he's the faithful and loyal type...He's also overprotective, possessive, and selfish with what he claims as 'his'. He gets jealous easily and...he has a tendency to let his words out a bit too quickly but then hurt you like hell without even realizing...that's why I'm sometimes worried. I know he's a good guy and just wants to keep you safe but the way he does it is wrong and...he can be very toxic when he's mad and to be honest, I know you and I know he could scare you if he ever lose the control of his emotions...he often hurts people with his words and actions..."
"But...he would never hurt me...physically...right? He's not that kind of man..." I try to convince myself about it, not imagining the man I love being such a horrible one after all the time I already spent with him. "Of course not, y/n. He would never lay a hand on you, he could just hurt you with his words or behavior. I know that you can easily be broken because of someone so...yeah...I know it would be bad if that was happening one day..."
"You're right, unfortunately..." I admit the facts. "He just...he sometimes is so sweet and kind that I don't understand his behavior...one time he can be super gentle and lovely and then also be mad as hell and ready to beat someone up..."
"Yes but think about the moments where he's on edge and about to blow up," he keeps his chopsticks up in his plate. "That only happens when another man is involved in the story concerning you or that someone hurt you. It never happens because of you which shows that it's only because he cannot control his anger once he's jealous."
I nod at these true words. "But...I'm scared he could get harmed one day because of this...or that he would want to break up...I don't want it to happen to me again..."
"I don't think he would want to break up with you," he shakes his head and reduces the amount of anxiety inside of me with his reply. "He loves you way too much for that..."
"Did he already have a lot of girlfriends...?" I ask a question I would never have dared to ask to Jungkook himself. "Uhm...from what I can remember...he already dated some girls in his teenage years but nothing serious, then he maybe dated two girls after that but they both left him. The more he lasted with a girl was one year, which was like two years ago."
"Why did they leave him?" I frown at this surprising answer, not believing that a girl would be able to dump him. "Well...you know how he is...those girls didn't like how possessive he was so they put an end to it...He was really heartbroken each time they were leaving because no matter how excessive he can be, when he loves someone he loves sincerely. The only thing that astonishes me with you both is that he seems even worse in his jealousy..."
"Do you mean that he wasn't like that with his ex's?" I go a bit further into this topic, willing to know more about his past. "I don't know...he seems even more possessive with you...like...You don't have the right to see a guy, right?"
"I have the right but...I know he won't like it at all and be super mad if I hang out with a guy friend, so I don't do it," I confirm his assumptions. "And...what about talking to one of them? Just by text or on the phone?"
"He doesn't like it. He will be jealous and read my texts but pretend he's not," I tell him the truth, letting all out but realizing at the sound of these answers that this could seem very toxic as a relationship to others, but which doesn't even bother me that much. "Yeah...that's what I thought...He's worse than before. In the past, he would let his girlfriend hang out with other guys and talk to them, even if he would be super jealous about it, he would keep quiet but this time with you, I think he must be scared to go through the same thing that he did before which makes him act that way..."
"Maybe if his ex's left him when he was still in love with them...this could have hurt him a lot...especially with that last girl he had...I understand him...and I know I would be jealous to see him with another girl so I don't complain when he wants me to not see any other guy. Even if...that kind of annoys me a little bit...I just do it for him..." I shrug but speak my mind, sometimes feeling like I shouldn't do this but instead, do what I want. I just don't want to hurt Jungkook.
"You know...a good relationship doesn't go that way..." he looks at me with a look of worry, maybe not understanding the way I'm behaving now that I'm with Jungkook. "I know he just loves you a lot and is scared to see you falling in love with someone else...but...this is wrong..."
"I know..." my eyes lower down to the table, admitting the truth but just not liking it. "You should talk about it together to show him you will never cheat or leave for someone else...he truly loves you a lot and is very insecure even though he doesn't let it show at first..."
"Yeah..." I lift my hand up to elbow the table, gazing down at the table made of glass but feeling the fear draining me. "Hey," he suddenly pinches my cheek in the most tender manner before getting back properly on his chair, getting my eyes to meet his and make him smile. "Don't pout..."
"I'm not..." I lie and deny the facts.
•••
3:30 am.
"Sorry to make you leave now..." I apologize for almost chasing him out of the house, aware that Jungkook is about to come back and not willing to see them fighting once again. "It's okay, I got to see you so I'm happy," he wraps his arms around me but pulls me closer, for a hug. His face pressed against the side of mine, he holds me tight in his warm embrace and I breathe in his favorite cologne he never changed.
"Will I be able to see you again...soon?" he demands to know, softly speaking into my ear. I nod to him and let his mind rest, to not make him worry even more about this. At my answer, he startles me with a kiss on the cheek. Affectionate but quick.
He looks back at me into the eyes, both closer than we should be. His gaze deeply dives into my soul and his fingers gradually start to rub my back, as if we were having a moment out of our minds and that I wasn't thinking straight as I must do. I have to step back for Jungkook, I have to.
His plump lips catch me off guard and crash onto mine, daintily. One of his warm hands cupping my waist while the other just slid up my back with only the use of his fingertips, to end them around my neck. Feeling like this is wrong and that I don't want this mistake to happen again, I drift my hands to his chest and slightly apply some pressure to make him understand he has to stop.
No matter what I'm trying to do kindly, he doesn't pull away but only tightens his clasp around my body. "Y/n...please..." his teary eyes fall into mine as I just opened them again, the pain perceived through them hitting my heart. I keep quiet, not moving from a hair. "I love you so much y/n...please...We could just keep it for ourselves and he won't ever know about it..."
"Jaemin...I can't do this...I'm scared to hurt Jungkook..." I drop my gaze full of weakness on his red lips. Feeling my reluctance, he draws me closer but turns around while clenching my body with his, to trap me between him and the console table. This is going downhill and I want to stop him, but I can't and I don't know why. I'm scared.
"Just one time y/n...before he could be back home..." he whispers against my lips, gazing at me with gloom to make me feel weakened. Since I'm not answering him but feeling out of my own body, his hand comes right below my jawline and he joins our lips again. His own ones grab mine to kiss me passionately, my body stuck against him and not able to move anymore while my heart is uncontrollably rushing.
I grip his cloth feebly and he tilts his head to the other side, to glide one hand down the front of my body and begin to touch me intimately. "I miss the feeling I had when I was inside of you...when...we were together only...I can't stop craving for you y/n..." his hand slipping into my lower clothes, I gasp but clench my leg, not preventing him from pushing his hand deeper inside to do the worst. I cannot have any control on myself anymore.
"J—Jaemin..." I moan his name against my will, dropping my head on his shoulder and feeling his hands pulling my shorts down, to slide his hand inside my underwear and now watch me losing the power I had on myself. "Don't you want to do it if Jungkook won't know about it...?" his voice weakly gets to my head, my dizziness making it hard the more he's pleasuring me. My whimpers go out without having the possibility to hold them back and he starts opening the zipper of his pants in front of me. While I can still sense his fingers arousing me to a greater level, he locks our lips and kisses me deeply, to stop his hands and use them to lift me up and put me down on the furniture behind, pull my legs apart and not stop himself from going further.
'JUNGKOOK'S P.O.V'
I hit my steering wheel at all these horrible thoughts haunting my mind, imagining them happening behind my back and her lies coming at me. Some tears of rage form into my eyes but I stay focused on the road. I can't stand it at all, I want to kill him for always coming back at her when I forbade him to.
What if she's enjoying it? What if they are just seeing each other for him to have sex with her? I fucking cannot stop fearing all of those ideas. I'm scared to be fooled by her and this guy, he's just an asshole who doesn't want to leave me and y/n alone, happy. He has to ruin our damn life.
What if he fucked her during those two hours she spent without sending me a text? Why the fuck wouldn't she charge her phone up that whole time when she never did it? For god's sake!
I'm going to go berserk for real.
'YOUR P.O.V'
"I hope..." I lift my hand up to elbow the table, gazing down at the table made of glass but feeling the fear draining me. "Hey," he suddenly pinches my cheek in the most tender manner before getting back properly on his chair, getting my eyes to meet his and make him smile. "Don't pout..."
"I'm not..." I lie and deny the facts. "I—" the front door of the house opening cuts me short as my blood just froze. He wasn't supposed to be back at this hour, don't tell me he left his work earlier just because of what I said.
"Stay here," I make fast to stand up as I noticed some anxiousness on Jaemin's face. No time to even walk up to the kitchen to reach the living room, Jungkook stomps towards me as soon as he catches sight of me. "Where is this bastard?!"
~~
A/N: For my readers who haven't understood it. No, she didn't cheat or do anything with Jaemin, the things only happened in Jungkook's mind who was fearing it.