The days after our reconciliation were tough. As much as I wanted to take control over everything, I couldn't. I couldn't turn people's heads around and change their opinions about me and I certainly couldn't stop the immense ammount of hate to stop coming towards Jackson and our relationship
Park Jinyoung advised him to keep a low profile and not be seen in public for a while which obviously didn't sit well with Jackson the overworker, but orders were orders so we stayed in China at his apartment which wasn't that bad at all
We created a small routine of going to his family's house and I ended up bonding more with his parents by force. They were super sweet and gave us advices about the situation we were going through and how it was all momentarily
In contrast with the world, his parents were super excited that it was official to the world. It made everything much more serious to their eyes and that gave them the hopes of marriage in their son's future
Which to Sophia was literally the ultimate goal.. to pass over her son to a woman she trusted
We kept on the down low for about a month or two but obviously, during that time people kept talking and opinions started to change.
More and more fans started to accept the idea of us, specially international fans. They started to become little detectives and tried to figure out more things about me and how we met. Soon enough, shippers started to appear but the korean netizens still held a great grudge against me
Meanwhile I got officially accepted to be a choreographer from Team Wang, news I held dearly onto my heart
"Hum.. I got something to show you" he spoke walking in from the bedroom onto the living room
He pulled up one of his earpods and gave it to me while looking at his phone with a nervous smile
I got your girl on panic
Iced out my wrist Titanic
Like 2-1, I'm on my savage
No airport but claim my baggage
It was one of the most awesome songs I had ever heard and to know he wanted me to choreograph half of it, excited me and scared me at the sime time
"Relax.. you know my style.. you've been watching me for years" he chuckled making me roll my eyes
"You make me sound like I'm your stalker since the beginning of your carreer" I jokes making him laugh
But it was fun
It was fun to go to his building every day and gather up ideas and moves to such a hype song. His dancers were amazingly talented and super warm with me.. At the end of the first two weeks the entire team decided to celebrate my entry to the group since we truly were still a really small team. It was all so nice and amazing
But of course, everything had a high and a low and that doesn't mean necessarily that everything went to shit again
It just means that some days weren't as good as the others
I walked past a hallway to get to a practice room but couldn't help but stop to listen to the song coming from a door I passed by
Bought a tequila on the rocks, ayy
Couple shots, I couldn't stop, ayy
All I could think about was you
All I think about is you
Stumbling about to drop, ayy
More shots, couldn't stop, ayy
All I could think about was you
All I think about is you
I stayed to listen to it all.. it was a sad melancolic song that told me a little bit that he indeed went through th same shit I went through when we were apart
It made me sad to think back to everything we went through.. all the fights and break ups making us lose time together.. how childish I was and how sensitive I always got.. all the nasty things I told him and the huge amount of patience he has had with me
From the sound of this song he truly suffered along with me... a lot.. and now that I'm recalling all these memories, I start to blame myself for things I didn't think much of..
Que tal mami where you been though? Yeah
I see you posse kinda cutthroat, yeah
But I ain't tryna start an uproar, yeah
But you're the one I saved my love for, yeah
But your family never bought it
Now your brother tryna stop me, yeah
What the hell did I get into, yeah
When all I want is to be with you, yeah
The fact that he never gave up on us while I couldn't exactly say the same thing.. the thought of wanting to be with me never left his mind and though I can't say there was a moment it left mine, I cannot say that I didn't try to stop thinking about it either.. to protect myself from feeling pain
Got my problems on my mind like all night
Drinking just tryna get my head right
Couldn't see the sign like a red light
Before I pour it down I'll say
And without knowing I'm suddenly crying my eyes out in front of this door. The song hit a deep nerve inside of me.. one I didn't think exhisted..
I wasn't someone that cried this easily about something... so quickly...
Taking shots just to numb the pain
'Cause it hurts when I hear your name
I don't even wanna close my eyes
'Cause you're the one I see when I dream at night
I wish I could let the feeling fade
'Cause it's killing me to live this way
I wish that we never said goodbye
I would die to see you one last time
The sound of the music became louder making me jump and look at the door to see him suddenly stop with a scared face at me
I looked into his eues as he recognised me and let a breath out "Jesus, I wasn't expecting to open the door an-"
He stopped mid sentence as my crying started to intensify.. my sobs came out and I couldn't control myself anymore.. the song really had a deep effect on me and to see him in front of me not understanding why I was spilling my eyes out to him made me want to just be held by him
So I took a few steps towards him and he slowly embraced me
"What's wrong babe?" He asked while rubbing my back as I sobbed and hugged him tighter "Is everything okay?"
I nodded and stayed in his arms for a while but he then asked me if he could go get some water so I went with him towards the small kitchen around the corner
He smiled sheepishly at me after taking a sip of his bottle. I was now stopping my sobs and cleaning out my tears with my sleeve
"I'm sorry for making you cry" he softly spoke while taking a few steps towards me
I looked at him in the eyes and got the hint that he figured out the puzzle "No Jackson.. don't apologize for writing your feelings into a song.. it's art" I spoke feeling his arms embrace me
"Yeah.. but it made you cry.. and I don't like seeing you crying" he spoke giving me kisses on the cheek as he gently swayed our bodies from side to side
"Don't be silly.. I liked the song. I truly did" I smiled against his shirt
He pulled away for a little bit and pouted adorably making me kiss it away
"I have to go to the practice room to make the choreography" I whined still in his arms
"Hummm... what if your boss doesn't want you to?" He hugged thigthly making me sniff away my last tears
"Then he'll be standing on stage awkwardly since he won't have anything marked of" I chuckled pulling away a little more making him let go of me
"You sure you're ok?.. You know I hate to see you cry baby" he mumbled pouting again and cleaning off my face with his fingers
"Don't worry love.. I'm fine" I smiled kissing him one last time before walking away
And so everything continued.. Jackson kept making his album showing me more and more songs he had composed for the past years, finally gaining courage to tell the world about his feelings and what he has been hiding. The rocky relationship we have been going through..
I kept working at Team Wang, while he flew back to Korea for a new comeback with Got7. We were assigned to help other new artists and find new talents to work under Jackson's wing. Through the streets, people started to recognise me more and more sing Jackson was Hong Kong's sweetheart so after being hit by a camera at the airport when I was coming back from visiting him in Korea, Jackson insisted in getting me someone to take care of me.
Which I kinda hated since it felt like I was a baby...
But I understood that it was necessary
Some fans started to ask for more. More information into their bias' love so obviously, people tried to profit more and soon I also had my own fancam sporadically following me
She was a sweet girl and was friends with a fancam of Jackson that I knew from signings so it wasn't that bad
What I wasn't expecting at all was the reaction we would get after Jackson debuted his first full lenght album. His first body of art.
I wasn't prepared at all