Ben is standing in front of me, well more like crouched in front of me. He is in some horrible stance, like an animal ready to pounce on its prey. He stares at me with fury in his eyes. I step back a little. The last time I’ve seen him is about a month ago when he was going through the changing. Now he’s been fine ever since but something’s telling me that he’s not fine.
“Hey Ben Whatcha doin?” I ask.
“Shut up!” He screams. I flinch at the sudden volume of his voice. Adrenaline pulses through me.
“Ben-“ I start.
“Shut up! You! You work with them!” He hisses. I shiver. Them. The creators.
“No I don’t Ben you have to trust me I hate them.” I say backing up.
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” He screams again. I shut my mouth.
“I saw you working with them! You! You created the maze! YOU PUT US HERE!”
He screams and jumps on top of me. I wiggle out of his grip and crawl away only to
be dragged by him. He jumps on top of me yet again pinning me to my stomach and
pinning my arms and legs down with his knees and legs. I wiggle and try to get out
of his grip but he is on top of me and he won’t get off.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask him.
“You’re bad, very, very bad.” He says.
“Ben! No I’m not! I swear I’m perfectly good I hate the creators as much as you do
maybe even more!” I shout.
“No you don’t! You worked with them!” He shouts.
“You did this to us! You are bad. You are WICKED! It’s all your fault!” He screams.
I desperately try to get out of his hold but he won’t budge.
I kick and shout but he rolls me over, quickly and pins me
down before I have the chance to escape. He puts his hand over my mouth as I am
shouting for help. I try to bite at his hand but I can’t. He reaches behind him and
out a knife. When he is doing this I punch him in the jaw, making him fall off of me
and I run. I run as fast as I can out of the deadheads. I start shaking. I am bad. I did
work with the creators. I did make the maze. I start to sob as I remember what Ben
had told me. I am bad. I hear him shouting behind me. Five words I know so well.
“It is all your fault!” He repeats almost like a chant.
I run and look for a place. I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t
want to talk, I don’t want to do anything but run. Run. I look at the now closing door
and start bolting towards them. I run straight out into the maze and turn. Luckily I
know the maze even more then the first time I ran out. Wait. I ran out into the maze.
Alby is going to kill me, if I survive a night in the maze again. I run still shaking and
sobbing from what Ben had told me. I am bad. The gladers shouldn’t trust me, I
might kill them, or something, something worse. I run until I reach the cliff. At least
I know I am safe if is stay near the cliff because I know how to kill the grievers. I sit
down and start to shake even more. I look up the walls. I can climb the walls I almost
forgot. I get up and start climbing the vines all the way to the top. I lie down curling
myself into a ball and I start to sob harder. I lie in this fetal position for hours.
Zoe! Where are you everyone is freaking out! I hear Thomas shout into my head. His
voice echoing in my head.
Leave me alone! Don’t talk to me! I say to him.
What’s wrong?
Leave me alone!
No! What’s wrong? Where are you?
Shut up! Don’t talk to me! I shout then I just stop talking to him. He keeps talking to
me and shouting my name but I ignore him. I close my eyes and try to stop shaking
but I can’t. I listen to the sounds around me.
Whirr. Click. Whirr. Moan. Screech. Whirr. Click. Whirr. Grievers. At least I know I am
safe up here. I clench my hands into fists. Why? Why did I have to help WICKED?
Why did they make me create the maze? Why wouldn’t they just let me die? I am
Bad. I try to go to sleep but Ben’s words keep floating in my head and I don’t want to
sleep knowing the nightmare that is awaiting for me. I let out a shaky breath. I laugh
a little with no humor. I could just die, I want to die but I don’t want to. I have a great
life in the glade and I still want to figure out my past life. I want to have a future. I let
sleep takes me over.
I wake up and look around me. I am lying on stone. I see the sun is just now
rising. That means the runners will be out soon and more or likely looking for me, if
they noticed I was gone and by the way Thomas wouldn’t shut is shucking hole they
have noticed. I sigh and sit up. Dry tears mask my face and I rub them off with the
hem of my shirt. I don’t want to go back but I do. My stomach growls and I laugh a
little thinking of the first time I ran out into the maze. I was so afraid of where I was
and how I got there but now I am afraid again. Not because I don’t know where I am
but because of what I am. Bad, evil, WICKED and a creator. Creator of the maze. I
start to shake again. I don’t want the other gladers to see me. I don’t want them to
hear me. I just don’t.
Zoe, if you are listening the runners is going out right now to look for you, everyone is
worried. Please come back. I hear Thomas say in my head. I sigh.
You don’t get it Tom, I don’t want to be found, I don’t want to talk to anyone and I
don’t want anyone to see me. Please just stop talking to me. I say to him with tears
running down my face. I don’t want to hurt anyone but it’s too late for that. I put
them all here. I did this to them. Me.
Zoe please come back. Tell me what’s wrong. I can hear the desperation in his voice.
No Tom! Just stop. I say. He desperately tries to get me to talk but I don’t answer. I
Stand up and look over the edge of the wall. I could jump and fall to my death. I think
that would be a lot easier then living. Just dying and never hurt anyone ever
again. I step closer to the edge and close my eyes. I am ready to die. Ready to leave
this world not harming another soul on this planet. Then I remember Newt. I
promised him I would never leave and look what I just did. I left the glade and now I
am about to jump and kill myself. My heart pounds and I step away from the edge. I
put my face in my hands and I sob. I am shaking harder then ever now. Why does my
life hate me so much? Why does my life have to be complicated? I can’t live without
hurting someone and I can’t die without hurting someone. All I ever wanted was to
make people happy and to just be happy but that’s obviously not going to happen. I
start to think. If I die then I will harm all the gladers, probably putting some into the
point of depression to make them want to kill themselves making other gladers do
the same thing but if I live I could possibly put all gladers into their own death.
Either way, I am hurting people. Killing people. I stop sobbing. I don’t want them to
Die because of depression. If they are going to die at least they will do it fighting,
More or likely. Then the thought of killing myself comes back into my mind. Maybe
Not that many people actually care about me. Maybe it will just be Newt who dies
And we can live happily in the after life. I scoot closer to the edge and swing my legs
Over.
Zoe don’t you dare think like that! Thomas yells in my head. My eyes widen I forgot
he can hear some of my thought.
Why not I will be hurting people if I live? I say.
You’ll be hurting more people if you die. Please come back Zoe everyone is being
Depressed and klunk because you are gone, and Newt oh man he is in bad shape.
He won’t talk to anyone, hasn’t eaten anything since last night, and he is yelling at
Everyone to look for you. Please come back. Thomas says. I sigh. I can’t let Newt
Stay like that. I get up and start to climb down the walls. When I am about three
Fourths of the way down my hand slips on one of the vines and I fall. As I am falling
One thought goes through my head. I say it to Thomas.
Tell Newt I didn’t mean to and that I am sorry. I say. I feel my leg burst into pain as it hits the ground beneath me. My head hits the stone floors and everything goes black.