CHAPTER TWO
Divine Boners & Therapists.
Luke looked down at his dick and raised an eyebrow.
He was in a cinema screen, watching some adult movie about the colour grey and its seventy-something different hues. He couldn't exactly pinpoint as to why he was there and how nobody else had noticed the growing tent in his trousers, but he had no idea how to get rid of it and he needed to fast.
This never happened to him. Back when he was Lucifer, the only thing out of his control was being the King of something awful- everything else, he had free reign over. Especially his time sensitive boners.
Awkwardly, he shifted the tub of popcorn on his lap and placed it a certain way. It didn't do much at all, but it was better than nothing- especially since the lady sitting next to him had noticed and was currently trying to shimmy herself as far away from the Devil as possible.
Luke rolled his eyes. He hadn't met someone as prudish as her since Eve, back when the Garden of Eden wasn't an industrial site for rich folk and the 'apple' wasn't actually an apple- more like a banana. His banana.
He wondered how she was doing. Of course, he knew her marriage to Adam wasn't entirely real. Just because she was created for him didn't necessarily mean that she wanted him. Luke had met Adam and he had to admit- he was probably the most boring person on the planet. You'd think, being the first man and all, that he would at least try. But he never did.
The film ended just after Luke managed to think of things that didn't get his blood pumping, and he managed to stand up and leave with as little to no interaction with anyone else as possible. The movie was okay, albeit boring. He'd seen better sex tropes in hell loops.
He took out his phone and pressed a few random buttons, eyebrows furrowing at the sight of the too-bright screen and shaking icons. He couldn't understand why he was having such a hard time adjusting- everything on Earth seemed much simpler when he was watching from above.
"Whoops!"
Suddenly, he felt the phone being knocked out of his hand as someone collided clumsily into his chest. His eyes widened as he felt the cold brew of an iced latte spilling all over his white shirt.
"Fuck!" the person gasped, hands shooting up to cover their mouth. Luke just grimaced at the stench of weak coffee, his newly formed senses barely processing the information in time. "I'm so, so sorry!"
"It's-" Luke started, before the person began to tackle him with an array of white napkins. He heard a skateboard clutter to the ground, probably doing more damage to the pavement than anything else. "It's alright,"
"It's not," they said, voice raspy yet high. He had a closer look at them and confirmed that it was indeed a girl; probably in her early twenties, if not just turned. She had dyed hair and an oddly placed piercing, as well as mismatching socks and a bright yellow bag. "Look, let me clean you up. Is this Prada? Oh, fuck me,"
"That's alright," Luke murmured, taking a step back from her frantic movements. Her shoulders slumped slightly, seemingly disappointed in him turning down her offer to help. "Honestly. Don't worry about it."
"I am worrying about it. Look, uh-" she unzipped her bag, rummaging around it for a bit before taking out yet another white napkin and a pen.
Leaning it against her palm, she began to scribble, before folding it up again and handing it over to Luke. "Again, I'm so sorry. Here's my number- text me how much the dry cleaning or whatever it is for that thing and I'll Venmo you."
"Venmo? I-"
"My name is Ashley Fitzgerald and I work at The 99," she interrupted him once more, pointing to a coffee shop that looked all too familiar. "Just in case I don't text back. I lose my phone alot, you see, becau- that doesn't matter,"
"I-"
"Just drop me a text, or whatever," she dropped her skateboard back onto the floor, placing one foot on it before starting to roll away, "But really, you shouldn't be so casual with Prada around LA. Rookie mistake!"
♱
"You wouldn't believe the day that I just had,"
Sophie smiled lightly, dipping the wand back into the light blue nail polish placed carefully on her nightstand as her best friend stormed into the room.
Her mother was out, called late into some day shift that she truly did not need to do but wanted to anyway. Sophie couldn't blame her. The house was eerily quiet during the day and although it was much worse at night, leaving while there was still light outside seemed like a much better idea.
"Good morning to you, too."
"It's 2pm on a Monday, Sophie. It's neither good nor morning,"
"I take it back, then."
They'd been best friends for as long as Sophie could remember, and they'd been complete polar opposites for even longer. She often questioned whether best friend soulmates were a thing, but if they were, Ashley was definitely hers.
"Light blue?" Ashley asked, folding her arms and raising an eyebrow at the colour choice. Then she grinned, plopping down onto Sophie's bed before wriggling her chipped fingernails about, "I like it. Can you do mine?"
"After," Sophie nodded, "Tell me about your day, then,"
"First, you tell me about yours," Ashley insisted. Sophie tensed slightly, "How's mama Hayes holding up?"
"She's... fine."
"Soph," Ashley said warningly, the true tone of a concerned best friend, "Be real with me. You know I can tell when you're lying,"
"I'm not lying," Sophie argued, "She really is fine,"
"And you?"
"Painting my fingernails blue," Sophie mumbled back. When that received no answer, she sighed, locking eyes with Ashley. "I'm alright, Ash. Honestly. You don't have to worry about me."
"Yes, I do. Have you eaten today?"
"I have. Have you?"
"Yep. What did you eat?"
"Cereal."
"No, you didn't,"
"Okay, I didn't," Sophie shrugged, causing the girl with the pink hair to groan, "I just haven't been hungry today." she said defensively.
"So? Food is fuel," Ashley noted, before reaching over to the paper cup holders from The 99 and handing Sophie a half-full vanilla latte.
The girl raised an eyebrow, "What did you do? Inhale yours and then half of mine?"
"Ha-ha, funny," Ashley quipped, folding her arms before taking a seat on the bed, "I actually got into a little accident today. That's what I wanted to tell you about,"
"Go on," Sophie replied, taking a small sip before handing the cup back for the other girl to drink out of. "I'm intrigued."
And so Ashley began her tale of skateboarding and crashing, of blonde-haired men with Prada suits and money and ugly sunglasses that were probably fifteen millions time the price of her own net worth.
Sophie couldn't help but feel sorry for whoever had to deal with Ashley during her break-rush. The girl only had fifty minutes a shift, and that was often spent skateboarding to Sophie's house and back to give her a vanilla latte and to make sure she ate for the day.
Sophie knew it was probably tedious for her, but she was thankful. Ashley was always there for her, even if it was in her own estactic, all-over-the-place way.
"He was your type, too, did I mention that?"
"You did not," Sophie rolled her eyes, twisting her body around as she clutched the nail polish carefully. Without a word, Ashley stuck her fingers out and the young girl immediately started painting, "You gave him your number?"
"I felt bad," Ashley said, pursing her lips to the side as she remained deep in thought. "It was Prada, too. You know how rich you have to be to wear Prada out in the general public?"
"Rich, or insane."
"Or just rich,"
"Or not human," Sophie joked. "Do you think he'll call you?"
"God knows," Ashley said, "I hope he doesn't. He was kind of weird,"
"Maybe he was just stoned,"
"A man who wears Prada outside is not stoned, Sophie. That is a man on Ketamine."
Sophie laughed, properly, for the first time since she last saw her best friend, which was a couple of weeks ago now due to Ashley going on some hiking retreat. For a second, it felt like it used to. Then she remembered there wouldn't be a Dad to go to after she left to tell him about their day, and it soon threatened to crash down again.
"Hey," Ashley said softly. She knew that face all too well. Sophie often felt guilty for feeling good, often felt bad for enjoying things. She couldn't ever fully understand why, but she knew it had something to do with the fact that her father and brother weren't here anymore but Sophie herself was. "Come on. Let's get some food."
♱
Luke had two brothers.
Well, he had a lot more than that, but the two in question were the only ones who kept in touch with him after he got kicked out of Heaven and forced to lead the shitshow of sadness down below.
There was the eldest, Michael. His father's favourite and, undoubtedly, the most sensible one out of all of them. Luke decided a while ago that if they were a completely normal human family, he'd be the one to go to college and become a doctor and marry another doctor and have the perfect life.
He couldn't lie; he himself would probably be behind bars every weekend for a drunken mistake committed the night before.
Then there was Gabriel- or Calum, as he liked to call himself whenever he came down. Luke didn't know why, honestly. The only thing he did know about his big headed little brother was that blessing the 'Virgin Mary' all those eons ago was what made his ego ten times bigger than it needed to be.
The reason he was thinking about all of this and stressing an unbelievable amount was simple.
His brothers were on Earth.
"Vodka, please."
"Any mixers? Chasers?"
"Just vodka."
The bartender nodded slowly, eyebrow raised at the very stressed individual in front of her. Bailey Haniford did not get paid enough to deal with the likes of him, but unfortunately, it was often that she had to.
As soon as she served him the shot, he downed it like it was water. She didn't even want to question it. She'd seen much weirder things, like earlier, when a man with spikey green hair and studded leather jacket came in asking if she'd seen Lucifer.
Bailey almost scoffed at him. She was 100% sure that if she ever saw Lucifer, she'd go completely insane. Anyone would.
"Another one, please."
"Alright,"
She wondered whether he was going through a bad break up- a mid life crisis, even. He didn't look much older than her but she knew not to judge from appearances.
Bailey wanted to ask. But then she remembered her paycheck and how she wasn't paid to be nice, and let it go.
"Want another one?"
"Yes plea- actually," he shifted in his position, hand raking through his blonde hair as he gazed at the alcohol behind her, "How much?"
"Huh?"
"For the whole bottle."
"You want to buy-" Bailey began, lifting up the giant thing of vodka, "This? Entire thing?"
"Please."
"I don't know if I can do that-"
"I'll double it. And tip you."
Bailey didn't even have to think or ask twice as she slammed the two litre bottle on the counter, "Sold."
The man simply nodded, reaching into his wallet and pulling out two hundred dollar bills, before placing them next to the bottle. "Cheers."
"No, no," Bailey spoke, too stunned to move, "Cheers to you."
Luke just gave her a somewhat awkward smile, one hand wrapped around the neck of the bottle as he turned towards the door.
There wasn't anything that directly pointed to his brothers being back on earth, but he just knew. It was a feeling that he got deep inside, one that twisted and turned and wrenched his stomach back just to fling it forward.
He didn't know what to do. Of course, they couldn't just grab onto him and fly him back down to where he apparently belonged, but there'd be hell (quite literally) to pay if they found out that he wasn't planning to go back home anytime soon. He didn't know about Calum, but Michael certainly wouldn't allow it, and that was more than enough to worry him.
He took another swig of vodka, trying to ignore all of the people that looked at him strangely. It was funny; he came down here to have a good time, yet having a good time meant not being sober and he'd have to drink ten of these to become the slightest bit tipsy.
Back in Hell, Luke often dreamed about what human booze tasted like. The answer was better; not good, not great, but much better than the liquid tar he often downed on his days off. He just hadn't anticipated it to be so weak.
"Excuse me, sir," his thoughts were interrupted by the voice of someone behind him. Upon turning around, he locked eyes with a woman handing out flyers next to a stand filled with multiple copies. m
On the front of each one, a picture of a church.
"Do you have a minute?"
♱
Sophie's mother got a renovation done on the bathroom upstairs, turning the bathtub into a shower with a lot of extra space left around it. Sophie didn't understand why, until she looked in the cupboard and realised that her mother had removed all of the medication.
This happened three months after the crash, and another short month later, Mary booked her daughter a therapist.
"How are you feeling today, Sophie?"
She didn't really know how to speak to Sadie, the blonde haired woman in front of her who always wore pencil skirts and red lipstick and leather shoes that never scuffed. She didn't know how to tell her that she wanted to be at home, asleep, or that she preferred to be asleep even when things were going very well in her life.
"Good."
"That's good," Sadie replied, "How's school? Your friend, Ashley. Are you two well?"
"It's fine. And yeah, we're well,"
Sadie knew a long time ago that coaxing more information out of her patient would lead to nothing but distrust. So she put faith in casual conversation, something that didn't feel like a therapy session yet gave her enough to work with.
"That's good to hear."
"Mhm."
Sophie stared at the blank ceiling above her, as boring as her own yet nowhere near as comforting. Times like this, she wished that she could excuse herself and just leave the session, but then her mother would question why she was home so early and she'd get yet another lecture she didn't really need.
"Still keeping in touch with Bailey, I hope?"
"Mhm," Sophie nodded. She turned her head towards the woman, "She works in a bar, now."
"I see," Sadie nodded, "And your other high school friend. Ashton, was it?"
Sophie shrugged. "Kinda. We haven't spoken in a while, even though he works with Ashley,"
"Then why don't you try and meet up with him sometime?"
"I don't think he'd wanna see me,"
"And why do you think that is?"
"I just don't think he would."
People like Ashton and Bailey were the type of friends that Sophie wanted to keep, yet had no idea how to. They were into different things, less-tame things, like clubs and concerts and raves. She didn't fit in with them; not because she didn't want to, but because it involved a lot of activities she'd always tried to stay away from.
"Your mother,"
"Mhm."
"I take it you're still trying to please her," Sadie suggested, her soothing voice sugarcoating her words perfectly. "Did you go to Church last night?"
"I had to,"
"How did that make you feel?"
"I didn't like it." Sophie mumbled. That was a lie. She didn't hate it; she never did. She just hated pretending like everything was okay with the Big Guy up above.
She had zero clue as to whether God was real or not, but if he was then she had a lot to ask him. She didn't know whether it was the work of the Devil or his demons or whatever other force existed in the world that made the car crash happen that night, but either way, it happened. And there was nothing she could do to take it back.
"Do you need a lift home today, Sophie?"
"No thank you," she said politely, "I'm meeting my mom,"
"That's fine. Take care."
"You too."
The sun was already starting to set in Los Angeles as Sophie walked, arms folded with her eyes trained on the floor. Sadie's office wasn't too far from her and her mother's apartment and she could easily take a shortcut to go home, but she'd already promised to help out in regards to a church campaign. So, with a sigh, she turned towards the direction of where her mother would be and walked briskly.
"Excuse me, sir," Sophie could already hear her timid voice, ears conditioned to the woman's words.
She watched as Mary Hayes approached a man in a very expensive looking (and very badly stained) suit; his eyebrow raised, eyes gazing at the stand full of leaflets and mini Bibles placed strategically behind her mother.
"Do you have a minute?"
♱
HELLO I LOVE YOU!
I hope yous liked this chapter, I loooove writing this story so far & I hope yous are liking it just as much.
Have a wonderful rest of the day you guys, take care :)
-Maz xxx
♱
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