At the end of a long morning and afternoon, Ashley's ladies-in-waiting helped her out of her gown, then prodded, clucked, fluffed, and tucked her into the soft, cool royal bed, leaving her with strict instructions to rest. But how could she rest when hosting a bevy of royals whose happiness could affect her entire future as a princess, wife, and, hopefully, mother?
In the end, her injuries caught up with her, and despite all the worry, Ashley's eyes grew heavy.
The last image that invaded her thoughts as they fluttered closed was that of Gerald behind her on Louis's back, his arms holding her tight against his body, his warm breath on her neck. She tried to replace Gerald with Charming but could not fight it. The dream swept her away.
It was just getting interesting when she was awakened with a bang, bang, bang.
"Go away," Ashley ordered. She covered her head with a pillow, anxious to get back to Dream Gerald. But it was like holding on to air. The dream receded into her subconscious, where it had been birthed.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
"Princess Ashley. Please," called a plaintive voice. One of her ladies. "It's a disaster. We need you."
Groaning, she threw aside the pillow and sat. A sheen of sweat clung to her skin, her hair stuck to the back of her neck. It felt like she'd been scrubbing her stepmonster's floors in her sleep.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
"Your Highness?"
"Yes," Ashley said, pulling down her chemise and smoothing her hair. "Enter."
Valeria tiptoed into the chamber, curtseying as she approached the foot of the bed. She smelled like fresh-cut roses. "I'm sorry to disturb your slumber, but we're having a bit of an issue in the antechamber and wondering if you might help."
"Is Scarletta back?"
"No," Valeria said, biting her lip and nodding at the door in a meaningful fashion. "It's the royals," she whispered.
"What time is it?" Ashley said.
"Past eleven, Your Highness."
Ashley leaped out of bed, a move her ankle didn't exactly like. "I slept through dinner? Why did no one wake me?" Missing dinner was a disaster in the protocol.
"We thought you needed your rest after what happened. You know. With the falling out of the sky and the crashing part. Mostly the crashing."
Valeria had a point. "I'll be right there."
Ashley grabbed her gold-velvet robe and limped into the antechamber.
She covered her ears; the din from the six squabbling royals was so intense. They were so focused on their arguing; no one noticed she'd entered the chamber. She made out snippets of their discussion ...
" ... haven't slept a wink," Sadira whined, "the water wouldn't stop running ...
"I had to run the water to try and wash it out," Tressa cried. "It was labeled lavender shampoo. But look. My hair is blue. Blue!" Indeed, her hair glowed indigo.
" ... bowl of apples on the bedside table," Blanche complained. "It's an outrage. And there wasn't enough space for my magic mirror ..."
Layyin shook a jar of peas. "Look at this!" she growled. "I'll be covered in bruises."
"I was hungry!" Derek said, coughed uncontrollably. "I ordered the peas and apples but ended up swallowing a fly ..." Cough. Cough. Cough.
"Peas are the devil's food," Layyin said, brandishing a knitting needle at him.
Derek deftly leaped out of range. "Try eating a fly!"
" ... hot bubble bath ... lavender! ... My tail is going to be permanently damaged. Daddy is going to lose it," Kai sobbed.
Not good. Not good at all. Ashley had been a hostess for less than half a day and had potentially launched six wars.
Her ladies-in-waiting stood on the outskirts of the room, looking away from the fighting as if trying to be invisible.
Ashley clenched her fists. Borin. He did this on purpose. But why? It seemed petty to mistreat the royals of neighboring kingdoms to spite her. What was his agenda? She'd have to worry about this later because she had another fire blazing in front of her.
Ashley covered her throbbing forehead with a hand. A person couldn't think straight with all this squabbling. "Quiet!" she cried. The room went silent, and all eyes turned toward her. Not one of them looked pleased.
But none of them looked murderous, so that was something!
"I am sorry your accommodations haven't been satisfactory."
Blanche folded her arms over her chest. "Satisfactory? I could have died from apple poisoning."
"I agree," Layyin said, pushing up the sleeve of her ruffled pink nightdress to display a line of tiny red blotches. "Look."
"I'm sorry," Ashley said, tears prickling at the corner of her eyes. "I didn't ..."
Derek stopped coughing and trotted over, patting her back. "It's okay, hon. I didn't mind the fly that much. Truthfully, I'd been wondering what I'd think of them since I became human again."
"Thanks," Ashley said. "Look, everyone, I promise I'll get to the bottom of this. I will discuss this with my staff. I'll fix everything as soon as possible. In the meantime, how about we retire to the jacuzzi room for some Ed Sheeran and chardonnay?
"Did you say, Ed Sheeran?" Kai said.
"I did."
Kai giggled. "Love him! What are we waiting for?"
"Why don't we don our bathing clothes and meet in the Jacuzzi room in twenty minutes? That will give us time to have everything prepared," Ashley said. Pulling aside Valeria, she whispered her orders. "Stock the room with plenty of chardonnay and towels. And could you see to it that the issues in the royal's rooms are rectified?"
"I would be honored," Valeria said.
Ashley set out for the Vault to search for a bathing shift. Upon entering, a white and yellow fine canvas shift lay over the table closest to the door. Beside it were the cutest sandals, embellished with embroidered daisies and a matching robe.
As she dressed, her mind whorled with how she ought to address her Borin problem. The best course of action seemed to be for her to consume a lot of chardonnay and hope trolls came in the night, invaded the seneschal's rooms, and carried him off.
But as this event didn't seem likely, she would have to come up with a non-troll plan.
Perhaps this whole sleepover idea had been a colossal mistake.
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Before Charming had it remodeled for Ashley as a wedding gift, the Jacuzzi room had been the Hexagonal Ballroom. It sported three-story enchanted windows so people outside couldn't see inside. Still, people inside could enjoy the view of lush gardens, fountains, and a profusion of Prince Charming statues in marble, copper, brass, granite, slate, and his favorite—the gold one depicting him with wings.
Floating fairy lights cast a magical glow over the heart-shaped golden pool; lemon-scented steam rose from the water. Thick towels were stacked on a golden table with chunky cherubs as legs. Bottles of chardonnay sweated on ice in silver buckets.
But the most ostentatious feature of the room was the trompe l'oeil mural covering the ceiling, which depicted Ashley and Charming on their wedding day.
Ashley rarely came here because who wants to have an enormous image of one's perfect husband gazing down at her while bathing? Or any time. She was embarrassed to show the others this room for that reason, but they'd all been so pent up, she thought a little relaxation and bonding might help. She vowed not to look at the painting.
The other important feature of the room was its privacy. Charming had a veil of silence spell cast over the place to prevent people from overhearing any "activities" occurring within. Not that she and the prince had ever used it for any "activities."
Ed Sheeran crooned about "diving right into you."
"This song's my fav," Tressa said, undulating to the beat as her hair drifted around the pool like a hundred-armed octopus. Centupus? The trichologically-endowed princess's mood had improved somewhat as the blue dye drained from her hair.
"I had the water temperature reduced a bit and added bath salts, Kai," Ashley said. "I hope it's okay."
Kai wore a shell bra with a towel wrapped around her waist. She touched the roiling water with one finger. "It's perfect. Like a hydrothermal vent. Reminds me of home." The mermaid winced. "I mean, my ocean home. Not the castle." How odd. Ashley thought the other royals' lives were perfect. She resisted the desire to hug Kai and tell her it would be okay. One didn't go around embracing royals, she assumed.
Derek, in tight green swim trunks, joined Tressa, followed by the others.
As soon as Kai hit the water, her legs transformed into a beautiful golden tail. She flicked it, and water sprayed over the group. "Sorry," she said.
Everyone laughed.
Because Ashley had dismissed the servants for privacy's sake, she poured each of her guests a glass of chardonnay. Once everyone was served, she grabbed a drink and joined them in the churning pool.
"I love your heart-shaped-jacuzzi room," Blanche said. "Mine's a lot smaller."
"Mine too," Layyin agreed, swallowing her glass of wine in one gulp.
"Same," Sadira said.
"Wait, are you saying you all have a room with a heart-shaped jacuzzi?" Ashley said.
Everyone nodded.
"I don't know much about castles and royal life," Ashley said, "but isn't it unusual? That we all have one?"
"Mine was a wedding gift from my husband," Tressa said. "More wine?"
Ashley poured. "So was mine."
"Mine too," Derek said. "Hey, Kai, could I touch your tail?"
"Sure," Kai giggled, lifting the tip out of the water to make it easier for him.
"Wow, it's way softer than I thought it would be," he said.
"My jacuzzi room has been broken for months," Kai grumbled. "Yours is awesome, though."
"Uh, thanks. But wait, guys," Ashley said. "Is this like a standard royal thing? Like a law or something? 'A prince must gift his bride a room with a heart-shaped jacuzzi. Or else!'"
"That's a good one, Ashley. You're a lot funnier now than when you were crumpled up on the ground when we first arrived," Tressa said.
"She almost died," Derek said. "Who's doing stand-up right after a near-death experience?"
"I don't know," Tressa pouted. "It was just all so dour." Tressa grabbed another bottle of wine and drank without bothering to pour. The others followed suit. Royals were different than Ashley had expected. She thought they'd be stuffy and proper, not drink wine straight from bottles.
"I apologize again for the issues in your rooms," Ashley said, her head beginning to buzz from the wine.
"No. We all talked and want to apologize to you for making such a big deal," Layyin said. "It's not the first time I've gotten injured by peas. It's how I proved I was a real princess to my husband's family. What snobs they were! You should've seen our wedding night. It took my prince twelve minutes to climb up to the top mattress, and then he fell out during the 'crucial' moment. Talk about bruises!"
"Wow! That had to hurt," Prince Derek said.
"From the sounds he uttered, I'm pretty sure it did. Poor man. Just not used to a bed with a hundred mattresses, I guess."
"The truth is, sometimes my own breathing keeps me awake," Sadira said. "Ever since my evil stepmother put that sleeping curse on me, I've been scared that if I fall asleep, I won't wake up for a hundred years, and by that time, my kingdom will be swallowed by thorny vines. You wouldn't believe the gardening expenses to clean up the kingdom after that curse. Nearly bankrupted us."
"And I am seeing a healer about my apple phobia," Blanche said. "I know it's nuts. But when my evil stepmother poisoned me, I awoke in a glass coffin kissing a stranger. You might think that it is all romantic and stuff, but let me tell you, it's a shock to the system."
"I can see how that would be upsetting," Ashley said. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay. After I slapped the prince for his impudence and explained the concept of consent, we fell in love. It's all good."
"And look," Tressa said, scooping up a handful of brown hair. "That blue stuff made my hair so soft. And yeah, talk about not knowing how to be a princess. I lived my entire life in twelve square feet at the top of a tower with only an evil witch for companionship. I didn't even know how to walk down a flight of stairs or ride a horse or, well, do anything."
"Oh my gosh," Ashley said. "How did you learn?"
"Took a long time. Don't worry, Ashley, you have everything you need to be a fine princess."
Ashley's heart swelled. "That is so nice of you guys." Maybe this sleepover was a good idea, after all. "I am glad you came. It's been hard adjusting to princess life. The truth is, I grew up a servant, and I'm clueless about being royal. That's why I invited you here. I hoped to learn from the experts."
"I don't know if I'm an expert," Kai said. "Sure, I grew up royal in Dad's under-the-sea kingdom, but landside royal life is pretty different. I mean, there's not much jousting and dragon-hunting in a watery habitat. Our princes battle sharks and electric eels, but that's way different — no swords or lances. And the punishments for crimes are different. On land, you have dungeons and the rack, but in the ocean, if you make daddy mad, he'll feed you to his pet orca."
"I guess you never snuck out of the castle," Derek said. "Since you don't appear to have been eaten by an orca."
"The key is not to let him find out!" Kai chirped. "Also, I don't think he'd feed his daughter to anyone."
"That's a relief," Derek said. "I did grow up as a prince, but then that old crone turned me into a frog, and I lost a lot of memories. Frog brains are so much smaller than human ones. When my prince kissed me and changed me back, you'd think I would've gone back to normal right away. But it's taken a while."
"I can't believe we all have so much in common," Ashley said. "More wine?" Ashley sloshed out of the Jacuzzi, shivering in the chill air. She raced to the ice buckets and grabbed a few more bottles before slipping back under the luxurious warm water.
Sadira held up her bottle. "Should we toast?" The royals tapped their bottles together. "To friendship! May nothing ever divide us."
"Here, here," the others agreed.
Sadira looked up. "That your Prince Charming?" she said, taking a swig from her bottle.
Because of the wine's effects, Ashley wasn't as mortified by Sadira noticing the mural as she might've been in a sober state. Still, she didn't look.
"That's him."
"Very handsome," Layyin said. "Is he good in bed?"
Revise that; royals were not just different than she expected. They were the opposite. "Uh, I suppose," she swallowed.
"You don't sound very certain," Tressa said.
"Well, I don't have much to compare it to."
"Ah, a virgin on the old wedding night," Derek teased.
"Weren't you guys all ... I mean, aren't all royal spouses virgins on their wedding night?" That got a laugh. Ashley cleared her throat. "Never mind. What are your Prince Charmings like?"
"Good-looking. Jaw so sharp it can cleave your heart in two. Rocks a pair of jodhpurs," Tressa sighed. "But to be honest, he kind of sucks in bed. And not in a good way."
"My prince is the worst in bed," Sadira said. "Has his way with me then rolls off. In seconds he's snoring like a corpulent forest troll."
Despite the heat of the water, a cold sensation snaked down Ashley's neck. She'd hoped to have something in common with her fellow royal spouses, but this was eerie. "My Prince Charming is gone a lot," she confided. "He likes his dragon-questing time."
"Mine too," Derek said. "Honestly, that's why I leaped at your invitation. It's been pretty lonely."
"Same," Tressa slurred. "My prince loves loves loves to fight dragons. It's dragons this and dragons that. Stupid dragons. He even has a big old dragon bite scar on his hand that he keeps covered with stupid dragon-skin gloves. Like, wouldn't a normal prince stop with the dragon fighting after an injury like that?"
Ashley looked up at the mural where Charming was depicted in his usual dragon-skin gloves. The others followed her eyes. The royals gasped.
"But that's impossible," Sadira said. "My Prince Charming has black hair and gray eyes."
"And mine has silver hair and silver eyes," Kai said.
"So, they have to be different people, right?" Sadira said.
"Unless—" Ashley said.
Kai's tail joggled nervously in the water, sending waves over the surface. "Unless what?"
"Magic," Ashley gulped. "Do all your Prince Charmings have a royal magician?"
"Of course," Layyin said. "Real creeper too."
"Is his name The Magnificent Marveloni?" She cringed, waiting for the response.
"Yes," came a chorus of royal voices.
"Maybe his different appearances are from a magic spell. A glamour," Ashley said.
"But that's impossible," Tressa said. "My prince loves me with all his heart. He's always calling me his love or his beauty. There has to be another explanation."
"Wait, did he ever call any of you by your names?" Ashley said.
"Never," Kai said. All the royals mouths were agape.
"He sometimes called me 'my princess,'" Derek said. "I thought he was doing it on purpose. He liked to think of himself as the studly one. As if!"
Ashley gulped down the dregs of her wine. "I always wondered why he didn't call me Ashley. I used to long to hear him say it."
There couldn't be another explanation. Ashley's world came crashing down around her. But instead of feeling angry or hurt, all she felt inside was nothing. Like someone had scrubbed and scoured away her soul.
"Holy polygamy," Derek said. "There's only one Prince Charming, and we're all married to him."
"I've traveled the world, and there's no other girl like you," added Ed Sheeran.
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This chapter is dedicated to amandatferreira for her wisdom, guidance, and patience with my endless noob questions. You're the best, Amanda!
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