- April 2018 -
"Maa please just listen-"
"We have been over this a hundred times Khushi-"
"Yes, but you aren't understand-"
"What am I not understanding?!"
Khushi stopped short, completely at a loss of words. It was a first for her, for she always had a retort ready, a habit that in fact drove her father up the wall, and a habit that she secretly cherished. But as she watched her mother stare back at her, almost exhausted from their argument, Khushi realized that she had nothing to say in her defence.
Because what she was asking for was unreasonable. At least in the world she grew up in.
"Look Khushi," Garima said, shaking her head. "I told you over and over again that going to medical college is one thing, but doing an internship is completely out of question-"
"But it is school Maa! I won't fully finish my education without completing my internship, it's just how the system works!"
Garima pressed her lips and continued to inspect the choker in her hands in silence.
It was a sunny Thursday afternoon in the Gupta manor, where Khushi was found following her mother around the house as she tended to various mundane tasks. A very important party was to be held there the next day, courtesy of some crucial business partners Alok had invited for dinner. Garima, being the epitome of a dutiful wife, was leaving no stone unturned to ensure that the preparations were flawless.
As was what was expected of her.
Khushi had never understood how her mother did it. She was so good at these socialite parties, showing the right amount of glamour, humility and naivety. It was as if she had mastered the art of being perfect - there was no other word to describe her.
"The party is going to start at 7 p.m. tomorrow, so please be on time Khushi... I am running out of excuses for you," Garima finally said, setting the choker back in the jewelry box.
Khushi frowned. "I am not coming."
Her mother looked at her, exasperated. "If you think you can sulk your way into getting permission-"
"I have exams," Khushi interrupted, indignant. "In less than a month! I have better things to do than pretend to be useless."
"Khushi," her mother warned.
She shrugged, unapologetic. "Plus, it's not like I am going to succeed anyway. Somebody will still find some fault in me and the next thing you know, it's going to be the hot gossip for the following two months... So, I am going to save you the embarrassment and spend the evening in the library."
And it was true. Unlike her mother, Khushi was everything but perfect.
As she was told countless times, she spoke too loudly at these parties, had too many opinions and simply put, was a misfit in a band of well-mannered human beings. For whatever reason, she couldn't get herself to just nod her head and agree to the senseless discussions that usually occurred at these events; she almost always needed to know the why's and how's to the point that it got awkward.
"Vihaan is going to be there," Garima said quietly. It was futile attempt to persuade her.
"Because he doesn't have a choice. Papa will murder him if he misses such an important gathering."
"Must you always be so difficult? Can you not take a little pity on me? What am I supposed to tell your father? Or Mrs. Mehra? She made sure everyone at the last party noticed that you weren't there."
"See what I mean?" Khushi muttered. "They manage to find gossip even when I am absent."
Garima simply sighed.
It was a pointless discussion, as both of them knew it. In her twenty-four years of life, Khushi had lost track of the number of times she complained about the rigidity of the high society, not that anyone heard her. Her mother was sympathetic, sure, but she had no power to change any of it. The only thing she could manage from time to time was cover up for Khushi's absences and buy her some little freedom away from the prying eyes of her father.
As the two of them settled into an uncomfortable silence, Khushi pondered how best to put forth her case.
"Can't you at least consider it for a minute?" she finally asked, desperate. Her last and best weapon had always been emotion – her mother absolutely could not stand to see her sad. It was what had made her agree to her daughter's request to study medicine in the first place.
Khushi had –unashamedly– begged Garima for almost a year and then starved herself for two days until her mother had no choice but to give in and convince her father to let her pursue a career as a doctor. It was blackmail, no doubt, but Khushi knew it was the only way she would ever be able to break free from her family.
Of course, her father's permission came with conditions. And it was that Khushi could only study medicine, not practice it. Back then, it hadn't seemed like a big deal. But now, when Khushi had just a month left in her degree and was being pushed by her teachers to apply for an internship, it was a big deal, and she had to find a way out.
"I am just asking to do my internship," Khushi reiterated. "It's only one-year long Maa... it will go by in no time."
"And what should I tell your father?"
"Why does he have to know?"
"Please be realistic-"
Khushi lost her patience. "What is so realistic about this situation?! Any parent would be proud to know that their daughter is a doctor, and here, I have to live in constant fear of Papa blowing up at that very fact. Why?! You guys have made it crystal clear that I am not important in this family, so then why does it matter what I do with my life? Do I not have at least that much choice?"
"Of course you are important Khushi-"
"When has Papa ever had time to look past Vihaan, the heir to this ever-so-great family, to actually care what I am doing? It's always been Vihaan has to study this, Vihaan has to go there, Vihaan has to do this... even a blind person can see that I am non-existent in this family!"
Garima was stricken to hear that. "No sweetie, we all love you-"
"It's fine, this is not a new revelation to me. All I am asking for is to let me at least complete my education, that's all."
"And you can! I have no problem with you finishing your degree Khushi-"
"But you have a problem with me working?"
Her mother shrugged, but didn't refute.
"That is so messed up Maa!! This is the twenty-first century for crying out loud-"
Garima didn't let her finish. "Look Khushi, there are just somethings you need to accept. If you were born into any other family, then sure, you could have done anything you wanted. But you were born here, to me and your father and that comes with certain responsibilities that you simply cannot avoid."
"This is not responsibility Maa, this is sexism. How come Vihaan gets to work and run the company?"
"Because that's just how it is! And maybe it's for the better. It will be a hundred times worse if you start working now and will have to quit when you have kids and have to stay at home to take care of them."
"Again, this is the twenty-first century-"
"Stop repeating that Khushi, I heard you loud and clear the first time. But it's high time you start hearing me – I gave into your zid and convinced your father to let you pursue medicine. He agreed on the only condition that you will stop being stubborn and follow the customs of this family. How can you even think of making another demand? How can you even ask permission to complete your internship?"
Khushi couldn't believe her ears "How can you be okay with all of this Maa? How can you be okay with these stupid traditions? Do you seriously believe that we are better off at home? If you had another chance, would you not want to work and see how life would have been like?"
"I don't have time to think about the what if's Khushi. All I know is that your father is a good man. He never ill-treated me, in fact, he gave me the respect I deserve as the mother of his children and not to mention, as his life-long companion. If in return, all he asks me is to follow some customs that have been in his family for centuries, then so be it."
"So, you are telling me to give up?"
"I am telling you to compromise. Why do you think staying at home and taking care of the family is such a bad thing? Someone has to do it, what's so bad if it's us?"
Khushi couldn't even get herself to answer that.
"I know that you feel neglected and what not, but don't you think as your father, he will always want the best for you? He brought you up, didn't he? My father didn't allow neither my mother nor me to even speak in front of him, but Alok... he let us be, no? He got you educated; he will get you married-"
"Who is he to let us do anything Maa? You are trying to find a silver lining in the situation, instead of a solution. So, Papa is a good man just because he gave you the freedom to breathe? Is that what you are trying to tell me? If he really is so fair, then why do you not even have permission to sit down beside him and eat? Why do you have to wait for him to finish eating before you can?!"
Garima glared at her. "Stop exaggerating Khushi! I like to serve your father food when he comes home from a long day at work, I like to make sure he is well taken care of, I like to take care of our family so that it's one less thing for him to worry about – none of this has to do with equality! It's how marriages work and tomorrow, when you get married, you will see-"
"Please Maa, I am never going to get married into a family that cannot respect me for who I am."
Garima took a deep breath, trying to reign in her frustration. "That is not the point of this discussion-"
"No, it isn't," Khushi agreed gladly. "The point is this family is patriarchal as hell and everybody is okay with it except for me-"
"What do you think Khushi? Using fancy terms and what you claim as twenty-first century views is going to change any of this? I am so tired of trying to make you understand. When you begged me to let you study medicine, you promised that it would be the last thing you would ask, you promised that you would stop being obstinate... I taught you to be respectful, to be understanding, to handle these delicate situations with maturity, where did all of that go? And what does it say about me if my own daughter refuses to understand the position I am in?"
Khushi felt all her fury drain out of her.
Her mother, apt as she always was at handling her, had finally cornered her. Garima's helplessness had always been the throbbing vein that made Khushi surrender to her father's dominance. The point had always been the same – it would be a direct insult to Garima's upbringing if her own daughter turned out to be insolent.
Khushi could never forget all the sacrifices her mother had made for their sake. And she knew that one wrong move on her part was all it took for those sacrifices to go in vain. She didn't really put it past her father to make Garima's life hell if Khushi ever dared to go against his word. Alok Raj Gupta was known for having his way no matter what.
Of course, her mother would never accept it. Naïve as she was, she believed that her husband would never stoop so low.
"I am sorry Maa," Khushi finally muttered. "I know I promised I would never ask you anything else, but this internship would mean the world to me.... Just please try asking Papa, for my sake?"
Garima stared hard at her daughter, perhaps debating how best to tell her that requesting her father would not work, but before she could find an answer, a resounding crash echoed through the house. The two ladies stood up at once, worried, and hurried out of the room.
They found Vihaan near the grand staircase, carrying a suitcase, utterly livid and shards of a broken crystal pot all over the floor. It appeared he had knocked over a vase in a haste to leave.
"What's wrong Vihaan?" Garima asked, trying to stay calm. She was the designated fire extinguisher of the house, always on alert to not let any argument escalate out of control.
"Stay out of this Maa," he replied, almost to the point it sounded rude.
That was a first, Khushi thought. Of the two of them, Vihaan had always been the softer one, never jumping to conclusions, always taking the time to understand. He had inherited many of their mother's qualities that way.
Even Garima appeared to be taken back. "Did something happen? Why do you have a suitcase?"
"BECAUSE APPARENTLY I HAVEN'T PROVEN MYSELF!!"
Khushi jumped. Something was seriously wrong, for Vihaan's patience was one of his greatest strengths.
"Vihaan, calm down and tell me what exactly happened?"
"I don't know, and I don't care!" he snapped. "Why don't you ask your husband for a change?!"
Garima narrowed her eyes, no longer sympathetic. "Enough. You are not a five-year-old to throw tantrums Vihaan, tell me clearly what happened, and we can sort it out like grown adults. It's not suitable for you to lose your temper like this, especially since-"
"Since what?" Vihaan interrupted. "Since there is a new Managing Director showing up on Monday and I am being banished to Chennai for speaking out of turn at the board of directors meeting today?!"
Khushi closed her eyes, shaking her head. It was another one of her father's great decisions. And this time, even Garima didn't seem to have an explanation.
"But... you are the next Managing Director," their mother said finally. It sounded more like a question than a reassurance.
"Apparently I am not! Apparently graduating top of my class at Yale was not good enough! Apparently slogging as an intern for three years was not good enough! Apparently saving the whole company from that stupid mess last year was not good enough! Apparently, the only one good enough is Alok Raj Gupta and he, my supposedly great father, is completely okay hiring someone else to take over the company than his own son!"
"Maybe it's temporary-"
"Well I had enough!" he roared. "Just done with him and his company! I am leaving!"
With that Vihaan whipped around and began to head down the stairs, his suitcase in tow.
Garima ran forward to hold him back, but in her haste, she unseeingly stepped on a few pieces of the broken vase lying innocently on the floor and let out a painful gasp. As she struggled to maintain her balance, her foot got caught in the pleats of her saree and she suddenly went tumbling down the grand staircase, while Khushi watched on in silent horror.
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A/N: I hope that answered some questions about Khushi's past!
Thank you so much for the wonderful comments - it's always a pleasure to read them and I try to reply to all of them (time permitting of course!). Please do let me know what you thought of this chapter 😊
P.S. - I hope you guys paid attention to the timeline of this story. Arnav & Khushi get married in October 2019 (Chapter 1) and this chapter is set 18 months prior in April 2018.