Aria began to walk down the aisle putting his thoughts at bay. Dex watched as the crystals on her dress sparkled like frost on a winters morning, catching the sunlight as she moved. She looked stunning, a little like Millie he thought. She had a similar look, but was a sightly bigger build than Millie, Her face a little rounder. But she had Millie's pretty features, big, deep, dark, brown eyes, thin pink lips and defined cheek bones, her hair was very dark brown, almost black, just like Millie's but Aria had a sweeping side fringe that framed her face. She was carrying a bouquet of white lilies with tiny grey flowers in between, matching Millie and the other bridesmaids grey dresses. As Aria passed Dex in the aisle his attention moved, his eyes seeking out Millie behind her. He watched as her four bridesmaids appeared at the end of the aisle, Millie and Jessie followed by Lexi and Carly.
Millie looked even more beautiful than Dex had imagined, he couldn't help but smile to himself. She upstaged the bride by a mile. Her sleeveless grey dress hugged her body from head to toe. The bodice came right up high to the base of her neck, her dark brown hair up in a big bun on top of her head, a few wispy pieces falling around her face. Her make up made her already pretty face, flawless, sparkling silver eyeshadow with a dark smokey black eye and nude shimmery lips, she looked sexier than Dex had ever seen. He couldn't wait to get his hands on her later!
She was nervous, forcing a smile when she clocked him in the crowd, as she got to the end of the aisle she took her seat beside him, kissing him on the cheek.
"You look incredible!!" He whispered in her ear.
"Thank you." she replied looking him up and down. He did too, but there was no way she could say it to him. She wanted to forgive him and cuddle him and show him off to everyone at the wedding but with all the rumours and photos and stories that she'd read this week she just couldn't. Her barriers were well and truly up.
She tried to hide it, not wanting to cause a scene or ruin Aria's day but she knew Dex knew she was mad about something, there was an awkward air between them that she knew wasn't going away without some kind of argument and that wasn't going to happen today.
Millie watched as her sister said her vows and became Craig's wife, yet her mind was elsewhere, all of the rumours, the stories, the other girls filled her thoughts. She felt numb as the anger filled her veins.
I really don't want this shit anymore she thought, knowing she deserved so much better than a cheat. Aria was never going to have to deal with this, she was never going to wake op and open a newspaper and see what girl Craig had been with the night before. Craig was never going to be working away for weeks on end whilst a Aria received anonymous texts of his alleged infidelities and they were never going to have their personal life in show for the world, they were going to live a private, quiet, happy life together with no intrusion. That was the life Millie wanted, she didn't want to share her man with the world.
A single tear rolled down her cheek.
Luckily there was barely a dry eye in the house so she didn't look out of place as she wiped her eyes in the back of her hand.
Later that evening the party was in full swing, Millie sat down on the bands table and watched her beau singing his heart out to the wedding guests.
Millie glanced over to Jesse's girlfriend, Lilia, sat a couple of seats away, Lilia turned to look at Millie and smiled awkwardly.
"So, Dex didn't mention me then?" Asked Lilia
"Uhh..No, he didn't" replied Millie
"I'm surprised. I was the love of his life once" said Lilia, grinning. Millie wasn't sure if she was purposely trying to wind her up or if she was genuinely stupid. She figured it was the latter, based on her clothing choice and general appearance it had to be the latter, she'd come to a wedding in a tight white dress, so short and so sea through she wondered if people thought they'd hired her as a stripper to entertain the guests later.
"Oh right" said Millie quietly, with an already fragile state of mind she really didn't want to hear this.
"Yeah I honestly thought he was the one, I always thought we'd get married" continued Lilia.
What the fuck!? thought Millie. Where has all this come from?! It couldn't be true. Millie felt sick, a heaviness fell over her, a feeling she was becoming far too accustomed to since she met Dex.
"When was this?" Asked Millie, not wanting to be sucked in to Lilia's games, she didn't want to give what she was saying any attention but the questions were burning away at her soul already. She needed to know everything so that she was fully armed and prepared for the showdown with Dex that she knew was building.
"Like last summertime, I haven't been with him since May" replied Lilia. Millie could feel her insides begin to bubble. April was the first time she saw Dex live. April! How could he have been stood on that stage that night whilst dating Lucie and seeing Lilia at the same time, in what according to Lilia was a very serious relationship leading towards marriage!! The Dex that Millie knew was slipping away. He was obviously a serial cheater, a liar, he'd kept more secrets from her than she'd ever imagined. He'd been seeing Lucie, Lilia and Millie at the same time. There was hardly any doubt in her mind now that the rumours about Isy Brennan were true! It all was. She knew there was rarely smoke without fire.
"I need a drink" said Millie, making an excuse to leave, she really did need a drink! A large, double! Maybe 3 of them!
She walked away, her heart bruised and aching, she felt sick, annoyed, her fists clenched tightly by her sides in frustration. She saw Ricco near the bar and ran towards him, hitting into him with such force he was unsteady on his feet, spilling a drop of his drink down her back as he lifted it above her head. Her head and arms buried into his chest, she breathed in and out heavily, trying really hard not to cry, she attempted to swallow the lump in her throat back down.
Ricco looked at Luca next to him, confused, not knowing what was the matter with her.
"Err.. Hi doll" said Ricco, Millie was silent.
"Hey, are you ok?" he asked, getting a little bit concerned that something was really wrong. He put his drink down on the bar and gently pulled her chin out from his chest so he could see her face. Her eyes were red and filled with water, pooling in the corner ready to release a tear at any moment.
"What's the matter Mils" asked Ricco, growing more concerned.
"I can't talk about it now" she said, her voice cracking with emotion. Ricco screwed up his eyebrows in confusion.
Dex and Jesse were still on stage about to play the song for Aria and Craig's first dance, it couldn't be either of them that had upset her thought Ricco, they'd been on stage for at least 40 minutes.
The band began to play. Millie wiped her eyes and turned around to see them. Leaning back against Ricco's body he wrapped his arms loosely around her neck. He knew he'd get it out of her later.
Watching Dex on stage Millie didn't feel the that's my boyfriend pride she usually felt, instead she felt stupid, stupid that Lilia was sitting there watching Dex, knowing intimate things about him, having most likely kissed his lips, seen him naked, had him inside of her. Known the little intimate details that Millie thought were special, just between them. All those thousands of girls that lusted after him at his shows could say and do anything and it didn't bother Millie because only she got to see that side of him, to see him naked, to touch his body, to have him touch hers, to sleep with him, it was the intimacy she shared with him that set her apart from the fans. It was him, just for her. No one else in Millie's life truly knew what it was like to be with him.
Except for Lilia. Millie hated that thought! Lilia had tonight taken a little piece of Millie and Dex's relationship that they could never get back.
Millie wondered what else he'd lied about or withheld from her. Perhaps all the stuff the papers were writing about him and Isy Brennan were true after all. If he didn't tell her about Lilia there were bound to be more things he'd not told her.
"I'll see you later" Said Millie, letting go of Ricco, she forced a smile and walked away.
She sat down at a table and pulled her phone from her bag, she googled Dex, something he asked her never to do, she happily complied up until now, knowing there was nothing left, no future she had nothing to lose. She began to see story after story of Dex with other women, pictures of him with numerous girls, she came across a photo of Isy cuddled up to Dex on a sofa, it was all lies, every word he'd said to her.
Scrolling through more stories Millie came across photos of Dex getting into a cab with a blonde girl, she looked a lot like Lucie but she couldn't see enough of her to tell. She looked through more photos all posted within the last week or two, there was a photo of Dex with his arms wrapped around the blonde girl again, it wasn't Lucie! another of him holding her hand at a show, she was wearing Millie's favourite sweater of Dex's
The sick feeling returned to her stomach, it felt like impending doom. That was it she thought, she'd seen enough. He was a liar and a cheat.
Heartbroken, angry and disappointed with Dex her mind wandered to Jesse.
She looked at him up on stage, wondering what it would be like to touch him, to be held in his arms. She wondered if she would feel like she did with Dex, or would he be different.
She watched Aria and Craig as they danced to their favourite song, they looked so happy. She walked over to the crowd of family and friends that were gathered around them to watch them dance. After weaving through the crowd she found her mum and cuddled into her back, her Mum turned around.
"Alright darling?" She asked, she could see Millie was a little bit teary but the timing couldn't have been more perfect to hide it, most people had a tear in their eye watching Aria and Craig's first dance.
They looked so in love thought Millie, she'd never seen Aria look that happy in her whole life. It was heart warming and she was truly happy for her big sister. Life must be so much simpler if you marry someone normal and not famous thought Millie. Knowing Aria was never going to have the problems she did of having her love life splashed all over magazines and the internet. Having girls throw themselves at her husband on a daily basis.
As exciting as Dex's life was Millie was beginning to realise she missed the normality of her old life.
She wanted to watch Dex on stage, but her broken heart wouldn't let her, instead she kept her gaze fixed firmly on her sister, her arms wrapped around her mum, her family always made her feel safe, happy, loved. There was never any drama. Her head filled with thoughts of Ricco, her family, her sisters, her friends and Millie began to realise how much she had been missing her old life. She's been so swept up in the excitement of her whirlwind summer with Dex that she had forgotten everything that mattered to her. She wasn't cut out for the jet-setting life of a pop star, it suddenly dawned on her as much as she loved Dex, this wasn't the life she wanted. Tears of realisation began to roll down her cheeks, despite how hard she fought them back, her mum, feeling that she was sobbing against her back turned to face her, putting her arms around her.
"She's beautiful isn't she" said her mum, assuming her tears were emotion over her sister.
Millie nodded.
Despite being nearly 27, being held in her mums arms was the most comforting thing, no one else would ever compare.
Dex played for an hour, numerous family members and other guests approached Millie during the set to tell her how amazing they were, how talented Dex was, asking how they met and other generally intrusive, unwanted questions.
Usually she loved talking to people about him, feeling proud that that was her man up there but today she didn't want to answer the questions. She wanted everyone to leave her alone. It was her sisters wedding and she wanted to be a normal maid of honour, not a pop stars girlfriend.
In her head she knew this relationship was going no where, it wasn't what she wanted.
Approaching 9.30pm Dex came off stage, sweaty and exhausted, he undid his cravat and unbuttoned a few buttons of his shirt, Millie stayed talking to her Aunt, pretending to not notice they'd finished, she watched out of the corner of her eye as Lilia got up and walked towards the stage to meet Jesse. She spoke to Dex first, laughing about something, Millie noticed her eyes wander down to his chest, they talked for a few seconds before Dex walked away and Lilia went over to Jesse. Millie was annoyed, she was never going to get Lilia out of her head, she was always going to wonder, what went on and what could potentially happen in the future.
She looked away, pretending to not notice Dex heading towards her.
She felt his hand on her back and turned to look up at him.
"Alright baby" said Dex, smiling.
She nodded, forcing a smile.
"You were brilliant Dexter" said Millie's aunty Cathy.
"Thanks" he said, smiling.
"You're a very lucky lady Mils" she added. Millie smiled.
"Nah, I'm the lucky one' said Dex, rubbing Millie's head.
Millie followed Dex to the bands table and sat down while Dex got her a drink. Luckily Jesse and Lilia were dancing, the table was empty except for Zach, who was talking on the phone.
Millie jumped as someone tapped her on the shoulder
"Oh hi Mac" said Millie, as he held out Dex's phone to her
"Thanks" she said putting it down on the table
"Mac, can I ask you something" said Millie, standing up to be heard over the music
Mac nodded. She moved closer to Mac so that she couldn't be heard by anyone else.
"Is Dexter who I think he is?" She asked
Mac scrunched up his face in confusion.
"What do you mean?" He asked
Millie paused for a second
"Does he cheat on me when I'm not around?" Millie blurted out
Mac's expression changed to one of almost sadness
"Oh Millie, I can't answer that hun" said Mac
Millie felt like that was a yes.
"Ok, sorry" she said feeling bad for putting him on the spot. She could see Dex coming back with the drinks
"I don't know Millie, I'd like to say no but in all honesty they would sneak people in without me knowing because they know I'd kill them!" Said Mac quickly before Dex was in earshot. Millie smiled. Grateful for what seemed like an honest reply.
Mac had come to really like Millie, he'd gone full circle from when they'd first met. At the start she was just another fan fuck, another problem on his endless list of issues he knew he was going to have to sort out when it all went wrong. But over the months he'd got to know her he'd realised she was way too good to be in a relationship with a pop star.
She was the most genuinely kind hearted girl he'd possibly ever met. She seemed to want to help people wherever she could and rarely put herself first. She was ambitious and driven and hard working, as well as beautiful, she wasn't in it for the fame. Mac could see every single thing Dex saw in her but he knew ultimately she would get hurt. Relationships rarely worked out in this game. They'd be no different in the end. Part of him hoped Dexter would cheat and she'd get over him and go on to settle down with someone with a less complicated life. But on the flip side he could also understand exactly why she was with Dexter, the entire world fell for his charm. Mac knew him well, almost like a son but he could never be 100% sure he REALLY knew him. He genuinely didn't know the answer to Millie's question, but he hoped for her sake he didn't cheat.
Mac sat down at the table, opposite Millie and Dexter. Millie glanced over at him, making eye contact. Mac felt awkward following their conversation, he could tell these questions were swirling round Millie's mind as Dexter put his arm around her, pulling her in close and kissing her on the side of her head. Mac could see from the expression on her face that she didn't want to be there with him right now, she looked as if her mind was elsewhere. Mac got out a piece of paper and looked at it for a moment.
"Hey Millie, can you give me a hand with something?" Mac shouted across the table. Millie looked up.
"Uh sure" she replied, a little confused by what he might need her for. Mac pretended to be engrossed in whatever was on the piece of paper.
"We won't be long Dex" said Mac as he led Millie away, he handed her the piece of paper. Millie looked at it as she followed Mac away from the table. The paper was blank.
"What is this?!" Asked Millie, confused. Mac put an arm around her shoulder
"Just pretend to read it" said Mac
They walked a little way up the beach away from the wedding party until it was quieter.
Millie sat down on a sun lounger and Mac followed suit, sitting on one opposite her.
"Why did you want me? There's nothing on this paper? I don't get it" Asked Millie
"I thought we could do with a little chat" said Mac
"Err, ok" replied Millie. Even more confused.
"What you asked me before. Why did you ask?" Said Mac
"Uh.. it's just the endless string of accusations, magazine stories. I even get texts from people saying they're with him or they've slept with him, I don't even know how they get my number!" Admitted Millie
"I can't say 100% but I'm fairly certain he has not. But I can tell you that he met up with Jesse's new girlfriend more than once back earlier in the year" said Mac
"I know" said Millie
"Mils the reason I wanted to talk to you is because I know these guys, ok, probably better than anyone. I know for the most part what they're capable of. I know what kind of life a girlfriend is going to have and I honestly believe you're better than that. I love Dexter like a son and I feel bad for saying this because I know I'm betraying his trust but if I were you I'd get out whilst you can. You deserve more than this life" said Mac. Millie felt her lip quiver. She knew he was right but hearing it from someone else confirmed her fears.
She was silent for a moment.
"You're right" she admitted. Mac was surprised, he thought it was going to fall on deaf ears. She seemed so besotted with him
"I don't think he's who I think he is and I don't think I can handle the lies much longer" Millie admitted, wiping a tear from her eye.
"....But I need to tell you something Mac" said Millie, her voice quiet and a little choked up. She was silent for a moment whilst she found the courage to speak, keeping her head down, staring at the floor as she swirled the sand around in a circle with her foot.
"I'm not totally innocent either..... i had a thing with Jesse" she admitted, wondering if Mac was about to go nuts at her. Mac inhaled sharply.
"What?!" He asked
"Millie nodded, her lips quivering she felt a tear roll down her face
"It's true, I have feelings for Jess.. had.... have, I dunno" she repeated
Mac was completely taken a back. He was not expecting that!
"Jesse?! How? Why? Since when?!" Asked Mac
"I don't know" said Millie
"Recently. I've been helping him get off the drugs and we got close" explained Millie
"Nothing happened, we haven't done anything and it's totally over now, I think, but I can't just wake up tomorrow morning and be over him" said Millie
Mac shook his head in disbelief.
"I thought Dex was no good for you, I wanted you to go off and meet someone who could offer you a better lifestyle... but Jesse!! He's a worse prospect than Dex!" Said Mac
"I know" said Millie, she knew full well what he was like and what it would be like to date him.
Mac put his head in his hands and exhaled deeply.
"So what are you going to do?" Asked Mac, knowing that this could tear the band apart
"Nothing" Replied Millie
"They're best friends, this situation is already bad enough, I'm going to end it with Dex and walk away from them both. Hopefully that way their friendship and the band won't be ruined" Millie began to sob, she knew it was the right thing to do but hearing her own words out loud made her realise how much she had fucked up!
"I don't know what to say Millie, I'm going to miss having you around though, kid" said Mac, he got up and went and sat on the sun lounger next to her, he put an arm around her shoulder
"If I'm honest, I think you're better off out of all this Mil" Said Mac, sympathetically.
"Right, come on, pull yourself together now, let's go back or Dex is going to come looking for you" Said Mac
Millie wiped her eyes and took a deep breath before she walked back to the table where Dex was waiting for her, Mac went ahead of her
"Sorry Dex, I just needed to sort logistics for us getting back to the states tomorrow" Explained Mac
"Yeah it's fine Mac, you can stay here until your flight, you can move all your stuff to my room after check out" lied Millie, hoping Dex would buy their story.
Jesse and Lilia came over and sat down. Jesse looked at Millie, making eye contact he smiled, Millie glanced over at Mac to see him roll his eyes. She felt so awkward sat between Jesse and Dex. She didn't know which way to look, having Lilia there with all her secrets and her past with Dex made it even more uncomfortable. Dex yawned, he looked exhausted.
"It's nearly midnight Dex why don't you go on to bed?" Suggested Millie
"Nah I'm ok" Said Dex, fighting to keep his eyes open.
"Go on, you're exhausted, the music has to stop at midnight so I won't be down here much longer" Said Millie
"But I'm maid of honour, I can't leave until the end and I want to stay and help tidy up for a little bit" said Millie
"I'll be up soon" she added with a smile.
"Ok babe, don't be too long" Dex pulled her head in and kissed her on the forehead as he got up
"Coming up guys?" He asked the rest of the band, CJ, Zach and Zach's girlfriend got up from the table and left with Dex.
Jesse and Lilia stayed behind, Jess