- Chanyeol
"Congratulations on passing the board exams."
Every visitors are greeting her for passing her exams, for finally being a registered surgeon after years of studying.
And we, we're just watching her shaking hands with people while their parents are beside her, thanking each person for congratulating their first daughter, her eonnie, Alice.
"One day, I'll get to stand on the same position. People will congratulate me too. I better study hard, I'll be one of the best doctors."
Jennie mouthed before taking a mouthful salad.
No one responded and the five of us just watched Chaeyoung's sister in front. Their parents looks so satisfied.
"They look so proud."
I mumbled, audible for the four ladies to hear me.
"I bet they'll throw you a party too, once we've claimed being registered doctors as well."
I, with a smile, concluded which I didn't know, would prick her heart.
Her eyes looked at mine soullesly, the painted smile on her face gave me shivers from my head down to my spine. Her aura is colder than the rainy weather.
"They probably won't."
She answered low toned.
Our eyes turned to her: me, Jennie, Jisoo and Lisa.
"They'll only throw a party for me if I reached the same level as my highly respected eonnie, or if I'll be able to reach higher but that's impossible..."
She looked at her sister with full of envy...
"Because I never had even reached the half of her standards, not even once. She's the perfect daughter and I couldn't argue otherwise because... it's evident and already seen by everyone, even our parents - even myself."
Her head bowed down as she looked at her unbothered glass of water.
Silence filled our table while everyone else are busy with their business within the party. I wasn't able to place that concern inside me as somethingmajor till...
Till I saw her backing out on doing something we knew she's good at. Till we witnessed what she meant that night, that she had never reached even the half of her sister's achievements.
"Everyone's speculation is that we could at least be the same. Even my parents are giving me the same expectations as what they have given to her."
"I can't blame them anyway, we're siblings so it's natural... for people to think that we're the same. It's what almost everyone are thinking, it's already tattooed on human's mentality, that siblings should at least be on the same level."
She took a small bite on her sandwich and took time to chew it, like she's just eating because she needs to but not because she really wants to.
"Oh, you're here?"
Her parents came.
We're currently inside their dinning area, eating a night snack after reviewing our major courses as exams are getting nearer day by day.
"Ah, good evening, Ma'am, Sir. We're just doing some paper works and tasks for university."
I stood up and answered politely.
Her parents smiled...
"Come on, Chanyeol. Just call us uncle and auntie."
Her mother responded.
"Anyway, thank you for lending time to be with my daughter on reviewing. I told her to have her sister teach her the things she doesn't know so she could pass her courses, but she's a little bit tough saying that it's okay and that she can surpass it on her own but look at her, she have you here."
That was a quick judgement.
"Ahh, haha, no. Actually, she's the one teaching me things."
I answered and that created a huge silent on a small amount of time.
"Well then, we're going. We've taken dinner with Alice already. Our daughter took us out."
Proudly, she stated and informed, signaling us to have our meal too.
"I hope you can take us out one day too, Chaeyoung-ah."
Same speculations.
Expectations and disappointments.
It's already planted on her head... that she should reach the same position as the others, that she should also be as great as those who are at the top of the list.
Human thinks so small. They have brain but would not use it for logical reasoning. Right hemisphere is made for creativity while left is for logical thinking. Yhere's always two parts... how come people can't use both balanced.
"You failed the exam?"
The dinning went so silent after that question.
We are here in their home, our finals just ended and I was invited with her to eat dinner with her family. They are pretty rich, there are some staffs serving us and I could really tell by the dishes that they have no normal cooks.
"I... I failed one exam."
She hesitated to answer, being questioned in front of everybody stresses her.
"What course?"
"Human Anatomy?"
She took her paper out and gave it to her mother.
I watched as the paper was passed to the other side of the table. I was able to see how the tension rose between everyone, I couldn't even continue eating. The servers are also in a surprise of what they're hearing.
"Thirty-four over one hundred items. This is..."
There's a heavy sigh we heard from her mother.
"Multiple choices."
Looking at the paper, her mother commented.
"Exams are important, human anatomy is one of your major courses, yet you failed."
Her mother eyes turned to her, it was heavy, on my perspective it's already heavy, what more for her.
"Ma'am, I guess she was just surprised. It's just our midterms anyway, even I, got a low score."
I butted in and tried breaking the wall of tension building up but it was too hard to even shake a little.
"Chanyeol, being on this field shouldn't be new to the both of you. Your parents are doctors as well, and us, we own a hospital, how come you could be surprise?"
It was a right point anyway, so I just mastered a small smile with disappointment evidently painted on my face.
Then I looked at her, hands are down under the table. Lips are pressed together as her eyes are just staring at the unbothered food on the plate.
"Human Anatomy is just full of memorization, no computations at all, no formulas and numbers, how come you couldn't get at least the half of this exam?"
Her mother questioned her.
The number of bones are pretty fine. But the number of muscles, the table of its origin, insertion and action are all damnifying. It's not easy to memorize them all, plus, with all those bizarre spellings and pronunciations... but yeah, we shouldn't be shocked by the field's culture.
"Your sister got a perfect score in all of her exams before, I just hope you can study the same way she can."
That came out of her own mother before handing back the test paper.
It is evident that her parents are disappointed but what I was disappointed was for the level of favoritism. They didn't shout at her, or nag at her... but they're indirectly telling her that she really can't be on the same position ad her sister.
"Think of our reputation, what will others think of our hospital if they'll find out that the daughter of the owner failed a human anatomy class?"
They all continued eating...
"Think of your own future, this is for you anyway."
I can't move and my eyes are just stuck on her.
"If you can't do it then so just tell us, we can shift you to another course but..."
"It'll be better if you can do as much as your sister does."
You didn't cry that night you were reprimanded and was embarrassed in front of us. You didn't even shed some tear for it. You're strong enough to live in that kind of system without harming yourself. You were strong enough to even continue and graduate with a degree, be a registered surgeon and one of the best in this hospital now. You were strong... but I guess, people around us really are just against of your happiness.
"Thank you for inviting me."
The dinner ended minutes ago and I had to excuse myself as the night keeps on going.
"You sure you don't want to be led to your house? Father said it's better if you'll accept the ride."
You asked and stated.
I shook my head and answered...
"It's fine. I know what's better for me. It'll be better if I'll just walk by the street."
Your eyes are heavy, dimmed, soulless.
I have to gaze on you for couples of seconds before asking...
"You're hurt, but why are you smiling like it's fine?"
It's more of an affirmation of what I've observed, not asking if you're fine or not.
You chuckled and I felt that small set of laughs broke my heart, more... when you looked at me in the eye and smiled with that seeming spark on your aura.
"Because I'm okay."
Although you're not.
"Go now, it's already pass nine."
You shooed me with a smile...
And I don't want to leave you that time but time is up.
But I didn't notice how time flies so fast, I was just there before, witnessing those things... but how come we ended up here? I mean... I should have done a thing for you that time.
Now you're here...
Lying lifelessly on the bed...
Inside the facility where you're the one who should called as the hope. Being treated like those patients who are looking for you. Being supported by the machines you once memorized and had practiced to use.
Ironic, it is.
Because everything we learned...
Are now being used for you.
"Chaeyoung-ah, wake up."
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A: The story I'm about to do, the non-fanfiction one, is about depression, discrimination, bullying, anxiety, life circumstances, university, being a student(specifically, an allied medicine student), about having a dream that you can't achieve, being successful, being happy, doubting oneself and... giving up.
All characters are originally made, as what I said, it's mot a fanfiction. I'm just wondering if you, guys, will support me for it?