Jamie stood silently watching her. In his polished armor he looked every bit the lion his named declared, yet his face was so sullen it sent a chill down Brienne's spine. Behind him, Kings Landing lay in a smoldering ruin. His deep green pleading eyes pierced her soul. He mouthed her name, but she could not hear his voice. Brienne longed to reach out, to feel him. She stretched out a trembling hand to touch his face. She tried with all of her might, but the distance between them only grew with each attempt. Suddenly, he began to fade from her view. She screamed his name. It was like watching him leave her and being powerless to stop it all over again. As he vanished, his image was replaced by Oathkeeper. Straight and strong, the sword with which Jaime had gifted Brienne still connected them. Her Valerian steel weapon shone and glistened. A powerful testament to the bond they had shared. Her eyes grew wide with wonder as the blade seemed to take on a life of its own. Then, in the silence as Jaime Lannister disappeared completely from her view, a gentle snow began to fall.
Brienne bolted upright from her slumber. Her lungs, starved for breath, gasped in oxygen but it burned them with its purity. Drenched with sweat. Her chest heaving. Tears streaming down her face. Brienne blinked with disbelief at the clarity that filled her mind. If she were ever to move on, she now understood what it was she needed to do.
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Lord Tyrion sat pensively at his desk in the modest study that had been repaired for him in the Tower of the Hand. Although he was enjoying his work for King Bran immensely, and was honored by his new position, he was still greatly troubled by the events of the recent past. He had come to terms with the madness to which his Queen, Daenarys Targaryen, had succumbed. In a strange way, he could not blame her. He doubted many could have held long to their sanity after having lived the life she had. He did not even hold Jon Snow culpable for her death. He knew how much the young man had loved her, and how taking her life had scarred him. Perhaps it had been a necessary wrong.
Still, the memory of finding Jaime and Cersei in the rubble continued to haunt his dreams. He grieved for his sister, and lamented the monster she had become. Through an objective eye, Tyrion understood that Cersei's actions in life had earned her that end a thousand times over, but not Jaime. The fate of his beloved brother ate at Tyrion. The worst part was knowing the truth which he could not tell to anyone. Each time he looked at Brienne his heart ached for her. He fought himself daily not to reveal what he knew. A truth which could change her life forever. Although every part of him wanted to divulge the fateful knowledge he carried, Tyrion could not break his word. Sadly, he turned his face to the east and lost himself in thought.
After some time, a soft tapping at his door pulled Tyrion from his thoughts. "Enter." He called, standing.
The heavy paneled door swung inward, and Ser Brienne walked into his office, a nervous expression on her face.
"Ser Brienne." Tyrion brightened. "Saying your goodbyes?" He smiled.
"Well...Yes." Brienne stammered. She would, of course, wish to bid Lord Tyrion farewell before embarking on her journey North. That was, however, not the reason she had sought him out this day.
"It seems our King has the utmost confidence in you." Tyrion said, almost proudly.
Brienne nodded. "It appears so." She's answered shyly. "I shall do my best not to disappoint him."
"I am sure you will not." Tyrion praised. He remembered how valiantly Brienne had defended Winterfell. He was glad Sansa would have her close by. Although their marriage had been anulled, he cherished his friendship with The Queen in the North, and knew that Brienne would do anything to ensure her safety and security. It was then that Tyrion noticed the large thin parcel in Brienne's arms. It was carefully wrapped in the finest silk.
"What is that you carry?" He asked her curiously. She was holding it, as one would a gift.
Brienne looked timid, she was unsure where to begin. She held out the package. "I...," She began, her voice cracking. "I wish to return this to your family." She held it out for Tyrion to take from her.
Tyrion looked puzzled. Taking the unknown item from her, the weight of it almost threw him off balance. He laid it carefully on the desk. He removed the silk that covered it with the utmost care, and gasped as he realized it was Oathkeeper, the sword Jaime had gifted to Brienne.
"I do not understand." Tyrion inquired, his brow furrowed deeply, as he noticed the strong but plain sword she now wore at her side. "My brother wished you to have it. He meant for it to be yours..always." It was obvious that Jaime had confided his feelings for Brienne to his brother.
Brienne fought tears at Tyrion's choice of words. 'Always.' She remembered how Jaime had said the same when she had tried to return Oathkeeper to him. 'It is yours. It will always be yours.' Jaime's voice echoed so perfectly in her mind.
Tyrion handled the weapon as if it were made of glass, removing it from the fine leather scabbard that surrounded it, and laying it once more on the table. It seemed almost disrespectful for him to touch it. He stood quietly, looking down at the flawless Valerian steel. Oathkeeper was like another appendage to Brienne. He could only imagine the agony that relinquishing her weapon was causing her. He knew that Jaime's desertion had wounded Brienne deeply. He had never dreamed just how much.
Tyrion looked back reverently at Brienne. "This is your weapon, Ser Brienne." He said in a low tone. "I cannot accept it."
Brienne sighed heavily, fighting the lump in her throat. It was killing her to give up Oathkeeper, but she knew she had to. "It is Lannister steel. It should be yours."
The shadow of a sarcastic smile crossed Tyrion's face. "It isn't exactly scaled for my hand." Tyrion quipped.
Brienne grinned slightly. "Perhaps you could have it reworked, or present it to someone in your family you feel would be worthy." She suggested. She tried not to think of someone else wielding her sword.
"There is no one else worthy of it. Only you. It belongs to you." Tyrion said with certainty. He turned to her, studying Brienne intently. His heart broke for her as he saw the pain in her deep blue eyes. She did not want to do this, she needed to. If only there was something he could say to change her mind. "Jaime loved you." He reminded her. "I know he did. Giving you this sword was the only way he could show you."
Brienne was instantly shy. She did not want to talk about the feelings she had for Jaime, or whatever he may have had for her. None of that mattered now. She wished Tyrion would just take the sword and let her go. This was difficult enough. "Please." She nearly begged. "I cannot keep it."
Tyrion balked once more at taking possession of the fine weapon. He could only imagine how Jaime's heart would shatter to know that Oathkeeper no longer protected Brienne. As his gaze beseeched her to reconsider, Tyrion could read the depths of Brienne's own heartbreak upon her face. Tyrion realized that Brienne was no longer sure that Jaime had loved her. He could not blame her. What was she to think? They had shared so much. Then he was gone. Returned to another. Anyone would be left reeling and questioning. Tyrion felt the pit in his stomach grow deeper when he thought that he could put an end to this. With one word he could reveal the truth he knew. He feared that a few more moments in the presence of Brienne's sad eyes and he would do just that. However, he himself had sworn an oath. One that he could not betray.
"You do not have to do this." Tyrion declared to her. "Jaime meant for you to keep it, Forever. Like his heart." Tyrion felt awkward to voice what he knew about Brienne's relationship with his brother, but he could not bear to see her in such pain.
Brienne straightened, her expression hardened as she tried to mask the bitterness she wanted desperately to put far from herself. "Forgive me, Lord Tyrion, but you're brother made it quite clear where is heart lay." She said dryly, lifting her chin resolutely. It took all of Brienne's strength to keep the anger from her tone. She had spent far too much time wallowing in her heartbreak, and had no intention of allowing the bitterness of Jaime's betrayal to shadow anymore of her life. She told herself that was the course she plotted, but still she knew it would be far from easy.
Tyrion shook his head trying to dissuade her from her mistaken belief. "Ser Brienne." He began. "Jaime..." He felt a greater sense of urgency at declaring his brother's heart than he would have his own.
She could not let him continue, and spoke up forcefully. "The truth is, that he would have rather died with Cersei than live with me." Brienne's voice broke as she finished, and she looked to the floor to hide the tears which threatened to burst forth at any moment. Her nails dug into her palm and she chastised herself for failing her self-promised intentions so quickly.
Tyrion's resolve fell. It was clear that nothing he could say would change Brienne's mind. He could scarcely fathom the pain through which she lad lived during the past year. He felt his anger at his brother seething. Jaime's decision had destroyed him, but it had also cast a deep and painful sorrow over Brienne's life. Suddenly, Tyrion understood what was driving her attempt to free herself from Jaime's memory. If she held onto him any longer, she may very well lose herself as well. Tyrion could longer try to change her mind.
"I understand." He conceded, lowering his head. "But, you have made this sword your own." He reached out and touched the polished steel. "There is no reason for you to relinquish it." He praised.
Brienne appreciated his concern. She gave a grateful nod, and answered him earnestly. "If I am ever to move on...I cannot do so tied to a... dead man." Her voice faltered and she trailed off. She had not wished to sound so harsh, and hoped Lord Tyrion would not take offense at her description of his brother. He did not seem to as he considered her words.
Tyrion lowered his eyes respectfully to signify her great sacrifice. "Very well. I understand." He agreed. "Oathkeeper will be safe with me. It's possession is a responsibility which I will never take lightly." He did not tell her that he had no intention of giving it to anyone else. He would store it away, until he may be able to return it to its rightful owner someday.
"Thank you, My Lord." Brienne acknowledged, straightening to attention.
They stood in an awkward reticence for a few moments more until Tyrion broke the silence. "Gods Speed on your journey then, Ser Brienne." He wished. "Please give Queen Sansa my regards."
Brienne nodded. "I will, My Lord." She assured him.
Tyrion nodded back, and cleared his throat. Brienne turned to leave but was stopped as she opened the door by Tyrion's call. "My Lady." She was halfway across the threshold and had to step back slightly into the room to attend to his words.
Tyrion had walked forward in order to address her. "Jaime did love you." He said.
Brienne stood in the doorway, as still as a statue. Unable even to breath. Tyrion continued the confession of his brother's true feelings. "Jaime was always under her power,...Cersei's. She controlled him from the moment they were born, and he was too weak to fight her."
Brienne's eyes studied the floor. She felt somehow as though she should not be hearing this, but some locked away place inside her reveled in his words.
"He was her puppet," Tyrion continued, expressing the deepest sentiments of Jaime's heart that he was not there to tell Brienne himself. "My brother was powerless against our sister's evil manipulation." His gaze also found the floorboards as he thought of Jaime. "I am glad he found you. You gave him the kind of selfless affection he had never know. The kind he deserved."
Tyrion paused. Then he looked sadly at Brienne, his eyes boring into hers, pleading silently for her to understand. "He should have stayed with you. He wanted to, I know he did. He would have if he could have. I know that Jaime felt he did not deserve you, but of his love for you...I am certain." He nodded.
Brienne fought the tears that stung her eyes. She looked back at him with a pained expression. Perhaps somewhere, deep within herself she always knew it could have ended no other way. There had always been something pulling Jaime away from her. She doubted that there could have been anything she could have done to really keep him. Even if he had stayed, Cersei would have always stood between them.
"My brother really always was the stupidest Lannister." Tyrion declared, inferring that Jaime had made the wrong choice. He hoped she understood the meaning behind his words. She did. Brienne stood in the door, her lips pursed thoughtfully, gratitude in her eyes. Finally she tilted her head. "Lord Tyrion." She said in farewell, and then closed the door behind her.
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Brienne arose early the morning of her departure. She triple checked her supplies, ensured the wellness of her horse, and rearranged her saddlebags for the tenth time. She thought it would be easier if she kept herself busy. Of all her goodbyes, there had been one she was avoiding. One she did not want to voice. Each time she envisioned it, each time she tried, Brienne would feel a lump in her throat choking her until she feared she could not speak. So she took a deep breath and busied herself with other things. She knew it could not be avoided much longer.
As she laced the leather closure on the pack that hung over her mount's haunches Brienne heard the rustling of footstep behind her and turned on the alert as her life of battle had ingrained in her, only to see the smiling sentimental face of Ser Podrick.
"Leaving without saying goodbye?" He teased, smiling.
Brienne laughed. She could tell Pod was dreading their farewell as much as she was. "Of course not." She answered warmly.
"You've been quite busy, preparing for your journey." Pod nodded, understandingly.
"Yes. I have." Brienne admitted. She chose not to say, that many of her tasks were self imposed in an effort to keep herself from admitting how nervous she was.
"I...I wanted to thank you for suggesting that I take over for you as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard." Pod said humbly, almost unable to meet her gaze.
"You earned it." Brienne reassured him, taking her horse's reins and guiding her mount toward the pathway that led to the King's Road. She motioned for Pod to follow. Somehow she felt it would be easier to say goodbye as they were moving.
Once underway Brienne continued. "You are a knight of remarkable skill, Podrick ." She praised. "Remember that. You have impressive natural instincts. Trust yourself." She felt as though there were a million things she needed to tell him, and so little time, although she did not know why.
"I have had the best teacher." Pod smiled at her as they strolled.
Brienne looked wistful, remembering all the times they had shared. Then she laughed a little at the images from the past swirled in her head.
"What?" Pod joined in her laughter, unsure why she was chuckling.
Brienne's laugh turned into as close to a giggle as she would admit to. "You could barely ride a horse when you first began to squire for me." She teased.
Pod groaned. "I was nervous."
Brienne nodded. "Very nervous." She affirmed, her eyes flashing with glee.
Before they realized it, they had reached the King's Road. Yet neither were ready to say goodbye. The stood uncomfortably, a thousand thoughts unvoiced.
It was Brienne who broke the silence. "You proved yourself At Winterfell, Podrick." She reminded him. "That is why King Bran chose you to be his Shield. You will do an equally exemplary job in his Kingsguard. I am certain of that." The pride in her eyes was unmistakable.
"Thank you." Pod quietly acknowledged, studying the ground too intently.
"Ser Brienne." Pod finally spoke. "It has been the greatest honor serving with you." He said, forcing down the lump in his throat. "I owe you the greatest debt." He did not tell Brienne that for some reason, he felt that she would not be returning to Kings Landing.
Brienne smiled a bit confused. "Pod. You act like you'll never see me again." The look on Podrick's face told Brienne that he feared exactly that.
"Listen. I will return in a few months at the most." She smiled. "Then I'll be wanting my post back." She warned jokingly.
"Absolutely." Pod nodded, trying to push down his certainty that she would not be able to keep her part of that bargain.
"Then this is not Goodbye." Brienne swore. "I will see you in a few months." She vowed as she mounted her horse.
"Until then." Pod agreed smiling. He held Brienne's horse steady by the bit while she climbed astride, and then stepped back.
Brienne moved away, smiling at him. Pod watched as she walked the horse slowly along the King's Road. He would watch his mentor depart until he could no longer see her. Just before she crested the small hill that would take her from city and out of site, Brienne turned and gave a Podrick a hopeful wave. He returned her enthusiasm with a nod and a wave of his own. Continuing along the path, Brienne caught her last glimpse of Kings Landing out of the corner of her eye as she turned. She tried not to give too much heed to the notion that ran through her mind as her eyes returned to the road. For some reason, she felt that she would never see Kings Landing again.