Sunshine-
Unspoken Rules!
[WARNING: talk about depression (very light but still present); lots of fluff; swearing]
[0.13]
THE STREETS STARTED TO FLOOD early in the storm. he knew the streets would only get worse. still he hoped they would. he hoped he would drown in the flooding. it was another hopeless night for richie when his thoughts were too much and he needed to go on some type of midnight walk for a smoke. the losers hated that he did this, and bev only pitied him. she understood. there was a reason ms. marsh was always his best friend, other than stan the man and mr. eddie kaspbrak. the four of them were the crackheads of the group, however stan nor eddie did drugs. they were typically looped into the category. every once in a while bill would get high with them, but it was rare. they had their deepest talks when they were high, to be truthful.
tonight richie had no destination; no place he wanted to be. he was wandering aimlessly with a wish that the earth would swallow him up whole. of course, the world never really did what he wanted, and he was not swallowed up nor drowned by the water. he had no idea where his feet were taking him. he began to forget that it was even pouring somehow. he didn't know he managed to forget, considering his raven curls were pushed down into his face from the impact of the water and he was nearly shivering in his soaked ripped jeans and leather jacket. stupid idea, he thought. i'm gonna ruin my fucking jacket. but he couldn't bring himself to care.
his feet kept moving but his mind felt distant. he recalled those books he had read, where the artists say, "the paintbrush moved on it's own," and the authors say, "my fingers moved as if they were magic." his feet moved like they were fucking desperate.
he looked up when his feet finally stopped, recognizing the lush yellow light coming from an upstairs bedroom and the cream colored curtains behind the small window. instinctively he picked up a few pebbles and began tossing them at the homey looking window. after about three tosses a familiar face looked at him worriedly and ran to the front door. despite himself, richie smiled.
"rich?" the boy asked. "what're you doing out here? it's raining, shithead!"
richie tried to grin but failed. his face looked more like a grimace and he dropped it. "hey eds. i know. could i skip the lecture today? i'm not quite in the mood."
he closed his eyes in a slight sigh and was surprised to feel a warm pair of arms wrap securely around his body despite the cold of his clothes. eddie was holding on to him for dear life. that simple feeling was what broke richie: he started crying. boys don't cry, richie. you're being dramatic. but he cried. the voice in his head couldn't rebuild the dam that had broken; the flood was coming whether he liked it or not. he felt guilty for forcing it on to eddie. it was always eddie. he just felt safest with him. is there anything so wrong with that? "come inside, richie," the smaller boy mumbled.
"okay."
there were three unspoken rules about coming to the kaspbrak household after seven at night. sonia went to bed at six-thirty, and tried to force eddie to go to bed at the same time, but he secretly stayed up much later every night. to keep his secret a secret, eddie created three rules (they were honestly only for richie. he's the only one who ever came over after seven), two for protection and one for comfort: don't step on the fifth step from the bottom of the stairs because it squeaks, don't say a word until we're in eddie's room, and eddie will give cuddles if you say you need them (as long as you tell the truth).
"but only you get cuddles!" eddie had giggled the night he informed richie on the rules years ago. "but don't tell bill. he thinks he's my favorite."
richie smiled brightly. "so who is your favorite?"
eddie winked. "that's a secret i'll never tell. xoxo, gossip eddie."
richie laughed and threw a pillow at him. "you're ridiculous, eds."
eddie laughed. "your words wound me, richie." richie couldn't remember a time before then he had smiled so widely.
he gripped the most beautiful boy in the world's arm as he stepped up the stairs. his brain wasn't capable of automatically counting the amount of steps he had walked on, so he had to count: one, two, three, four, skip. eddie sighed. one rule not broken.
they lightly treaded up the stairs to the boy's room, a room that contained such a zen vibe he wouldn't mind curling up in a ball on the bean bag and calling it home forever. eddie shut the door behind them. "are you high?"
richie was not high. for once in my life, he thought. but he only nodded, because saying he was high would be easier than explaining the emptiness he felt inside. to call it depression, he believed, would be a stretch. but he couldn't blame it on a lack of sleep like usual. so he just said he was high. his clothes dripped water all over the floor and he couldn't help but feel guilty for pestering eddie so late. he checked the alarm clock on eddie's night stand: 22:19. ten at night. and he was here, being a nuisance to the most beautiful boy on earth. "i'm sorry eds."
eddie stood there, staring at him. "you look repulsive."
he waited for richie to crack a joke, because if richie cracked a joke then he was fine, eddie knew. but he also knew that wasn't true, because richie also hides things behind humor. just crack a fucking joke, richie! eddie thought.
richie nodded. there was no your-mom joke, or "but you still love me!" or even a stupid "your words wound me, spaghetti head!" response. he just said, "i know."
there was something seriously fucking wrong.
"you're not high."
richie looked up in dismay. he didn't want eddie to know the truth. but if that was true, would he have even come here in the first place? "yeah," he whispered, "i'm not high. i'd like to be, though."
eddie looked at him with sorrow. "rich, you're not high, you're stressed. and probably depressed. and tired. and you're gonna get sick because of this shenanigan. i'll be back. i'm gonna get you some clean, warm clothes and you, mr. tozier, are going to go to bed. we clear?"
"yes sir," he mumbled. of course eddie knew. he's the most observant person richie knew. no doubt about it, he was the mom of their group (beverly was the father of the group and they are fake-married, because eddie could not be gayer and beverly had her eyes on mr. haystack, as richie called him. poor ben never caught a fucking break). he cared about richie just as much as stan and bev, if not a little more. he didn't know how he even considered the fact that eddie may have missed his lack of energy as of late.
eddie returned shortly, throwing a sweatshirt and some joggers at him. "get dressed you fucking hobo."
"eds, your clothes won't fit me. i'm too tall and lanky," the boy countered.
ignoring the comment about his height eddie said, "they're not mine, they're yours."
"now how the fuck do you have my clothes?"
eddie snorted. "you left your joggers here, idiot." the next part the smaller boy said in an embarrassed whisper: "and i stole your hoodie. sorry."
he latched his eyes shut as he waited for the teasing from the other boy, but it never came. when he let his eyes open again, richie had already removed his jacket and t-shirt. embarrassed, he turned away and waited until he was told it was okay to turn around. he grabbed the boy's soaking wet clothes and set them in a basket. "i'll dry those in the morning."
richie nodded. "i'm assuming this is the part where you force me to get some rest?"
eddie nodded, then giggled. "unless you want a snack first?"
the taller boy looked up from his feet. "oh? i didn't think i was allowed to have a snack before bed, dr. k. isn't it bad for your health or something?"
"it actually just makes it harder to fall asleep. and i'd usually be apposed, but i'm in the mood for some oreos and milk, and i think my favorite could use some, too," he smiled, hoping that hearing that richie is indeed his favorite would make him at least a little happier.
but the boy was oblivious. "who's your favorite?"
eddie sighed with a giggle. "you, dumbass. come eat some cookies with me. we can talk, but we have to be quiet."
the two stepped down the steps, eddie's footfalls lighter than the latter's. they walked into the kitchen, getting out the cookies and holding a light conversation. apparently they were being louder than they realized because suddenly eddie went quiet in the middle of talking. his heart nearly stopped. "richie," he said in a hushed voice, "the elephant's coming. this is weird but i need you to hide in our cupboard. and be fucking quiet."
richie couldn't help but chuckle as he was practically shoved into an extremely small pantry. nosily he eavesdropped on their conversation.
sonia kaspbrak, whom eddie had called "the elephant," walked into the kitchen confused and, as soon as her eyes brushed over the two cups-oops- of milk and the pack of cookies on the table, concerned facial expression. "eddie-bear, you didn't eat these so late, did you?"
"no ma," eddie replied. "i think you let them out when you ate before you went to bed, even though it's frowned upon."
richie stifled his laugh. that's my eds, he thought.
sonia was silent. she nodded and walked back to bed. eddie waited until he was positive she was asleep to pull richie out of the pantry. "you good?"
richie smiled at him, a genuine smile. "i'm great. that was great."
the smaller boy smiled brightly (you are my sunshine). "come on, lover boy. let's get you to bed."
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
"is the cuddles rule still in effect?" richie had asked softly from his place on the floor. it was rare the trashmouth was soft-spoken, but eddie got to see it the most out of everyone.
"always has been, dumbass. that wouldn't change." he sleepily patted the bed next to him.
reluctantly richie crawled onto the bed and under the fluffy, cream blanket and sheets. "even though i'm a total fucking screw up?"
eddie curled up next to him, his face slipping into the crook of the boy's neck, where he planted a soft kiss. "you're not a screw up. you're perfect."
the taller boy laughed, turning to face eddie. his cheeks were burning from the slight touch. "i wish i could believe you, eds. but i'm pretty sure i'm just an asshole who has depression and social anxiety and hides all his feelings behind jokes about fucking his best friend's mom. that sounds like a disaster to me. how could you call such a mess perfect?"
eddie smiled and gently grabbed richie's chin with one of his hands. richie took notice of the warmth radiating from eddie's body, the soft touch of his fingers against his skin (that's an awfully comforting feeling), the smell of strawberries from his hair. he noticed their legs were entangled, and the hand that wasn't on his face was curled around his body. lightly, eddie tilted richie's head down and kissed his nose lightly. "because you're my mess. and you make me happy. and you believe in me when others don't. you're the only one that didn't give up on me ever. even big bill let go at one point.
"you're the most kindhearted person i know. you'd give up everything you know if it means you can help someone. you're smart. the amounts of times you've helped me with classes is crazy. you're the only reason i have a's and b's in my classes. and you're strong: both mentally and physically. you can lift each and every loser, which is a challenge. we have some weird weight differences. and you take care of others before yourself—you're selfless. and you're so infuriatingly cute, with your stupid coke-bottle glasses. and that galaxy of freckles, and brown eyes i can get lost in. stop me whenever."
richie didn't realize he was crying but he was. "why? this is so nice."
eddie smiled, and richie swore he saw a twinkle in his eyes. "so i can do this."
before the ravenette (whose curls had finally dried) knew what was happening, a pair of lips were on his. soft and gentle, the kiss was. happy, peaceful, lovely. it ended too quickly. eddie snuggled his head into richie's neck again before he could try to steal another kiss. "go to sleep," he whispered.
and so richie did. but first he said, "i love you."
most of the time when he said those three little words, which was rare, the person whose ears heard them is either scared or the feeling are unrequited. he doesn't expect any less than that. so when he hears a loud and clear, "i love you, too." his heart jumped over the moon.
richie was glad the earth didn't swallow him whole. and he wasn't as ashamed of crying on eddie's shoulder as much.
WORD COUNT: 2,291 words
a/n-
this is probably one of my favorite chapters i've written! <3 ALSO, this was inspired by a series from ao3 called "Lifes Rich Pageant" by fluorescentgrey ! it's particularly from part one, "Recovery Position," so thank you to them for the inspiration! please do read that fic! it's so good! thank you!
- xx,
A 🦋❤️
[ finished 12.13.19 ]
[ edited 🌻 ]