Heads up: This is long as fuck so take your time.
P.O.V: Kean
I sat down, panting hard.
"That was so tiring," I muttered breathlessly. "And painful."
"But it was good," Bucky said in between pants. "And fun."
I grinned. "Yeah, it was."
"One more round?"
I shook my head. "My head's dizzy. I don't think I can do this anymore."
He brought my head closer to him and made me rest on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. We won't do this ever again."
"No, no. We can go again sometime soon. I just need a break."
"We won't do this again."
"Trust me, it was fun. It felt exhilarating but after that, which is right now, it feels exhausting. My body just feels so numb."
"Only the first time. The second time onwards isn't that bad."
"Yeah, I know. Which is why we'll go again."
"Calm down, okay? No need to rush into things."
"But you want to go for another round, right?"
"If you think that's what's going to make me happy, you're wrong. I don't want you to push yourself." He kissed me on my forehead, which made me feel better.
Suddenly, a wild Melissa came out of nowhere handing us giant margaritas. "FREE DRINKS!" she yelled.
A few heads turned, which made me want to shy away from her.
"Don't worry, that's just coke, not an actual margarita," she informed me.
"Thanks."
"So, how was your first roller coaster ride, Kean?"
"I need a break."
"Nope. There's no breaks when you're at Disneyland."
I groaned. "Where's Steve?"
"You called?" Steve asked, walking up to us with a bucket of caramel corn.
"Get your girlfriend out of here please. She's being a pain in the ass."
"How about no?" he replied with a cheeky grin.
"Come on, there's another ride that I want to go." Melissa grabbed my hands and dragged me along. I didn't really have much of a choice so I just followed her along. Steve couldn't stop smiling. Bucky held my hand in support.
"It's okay," he said but it was obvious that he was struggling to not laugh at my misery. I glared at him.
We went for a few more rides. Bucky was right, after the first round, the second one wasn't too bad. Moreover, the first had like three loops. The whole time, I was screaming like hell while Bucky put his hands in the air and whooped. For the last one, I just planted my face onto Bucky's thigh but I made sure to maintain my distance (ahem, if you know what I mean).
When we came down from the last ride, I wasn't that dizzy. I guess I got used to it. I wanted to go for more but I needed a quick break.
"Well, someone's looking excited," Bucky said, smiling.
I grinned. "Yeah, this is actually fun."
Suddenly, I had an amazing idea to troll some people. I've seen someone do it once in a viral video. "Follow me."
Steve, Melissa and Bucky followed me until we found Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse. I asked Steve to help us take a quick selfie. As he was taking the selfie, I got down onto one knee and proposed to Minnie.
"Will you marry me?" I asked her.
Minnie covered her face, as if she was shy. I knew that Mickey was just a mascot but he looked pissed. He tried to push me away but I stood (kneeled?) my ground. However, I didn't expect the next to happen.
Bucky threw himself at Minnie, pushing her back. "Get away from my boyfriend!" he yelled at her.
Steve and Melissa had a good laugh. Bucky pulled me up and kissed me in front of Minnie as if trying to send a message. Minnie's shoulders drooped while Mickey wiped his forehead.
"Don't you dare pull off some stupid shit like that, okay?" he told me threateningly.
I pecked him on the cheek. "Love you too, B."
* * * * *
P.O.V: Kean
"Thank you and Merry Christmas!" I greeted a customer as she left the library.
"Why are there people visiting the library during Christmas?" Bucky wondered.
"Some people don't have families to go back to, so I let them visit and offer them some free food," I gestured towards a small table that I had set up with Melissa's that was piled with free muffins and buns from the bakery. Last year, I had to bake all of them myself.
"What made you come up with this idea?"
"I thought that it would be nice for everyone to have some place where they can get free food in case they were hungry. Homeless people, poor people, anyone."
"You're amazing."
"Thanks. You know who else is amazing?"
"Steve," we said in unison.
We convinced Steve to dress up as Santa for Christmas. Kids were sitting on his lap and telling him what they wanted for Christmas. He's probably regretting it big time right now. Melissa walked around, arranging books while making small talk with other customers. I made them all where Santa's hats. Melissa voluntarily dressed up as an elf while Bucky and I wore ugly sweaters, much to Bucky's disgust and my happiness.
"He does sort of look happy," Bucky said.
"Just a little," I said. "Later though, he's going to kill us."
He laughed. "Then we gotta hide behind Melissa to protect us. Oh, speaking of which, remember when you said that you thought Melissa and Steve wouldn't be a couple."
I facepalmed. I nearly forgot about our time in Iceland. "Yeah, I do. Guess I was wrong, huh?"
"It's okay to be wrong once in a while," he said, kissing me on the cheek.
I glanced to see what was he doing. "Are you reading the book that I was reading a few months ago?"
"Yeah. It's pretty interesting. By the way, the main character-"
He pulled out a switchblade and pointed it at me. "Go on. I dare you."
I had the audacity to laugh. "Okay, okay. I'll shut up."
"Good." He kept the blade back.
I would like to tell you that it has been really easy being Bucky's boyfriend. As much as I loved it, it was tough. Every now and then, Bucky would wake up in the middle of the night, screaming. His screaming would wake me up as I would usually sleep with him, alternating between my place and the Avengers Tower. I would have to hug him tightly and calm him down.
Bucky was burdened with nightmares. Even though I returned, he would still have dreams of me dying. I always stayed by his side in case anything happened to him. I've been taking him to a therapist to help out with his nightmares. It was working. Very slowly, but surely.
"What time are we closing up?" Bucky asked.
"At four o' clock," I said. "About another hour or so."
We continued working. I stationed at the cashier while Bucky processed new books. Melissa walked around, handing out free food to the customers. Steve came back in about twenty minutes later, saying that there weren't any more people. He changed into a blue and red sweater with stars. Looking at his sweater, I rolled my eyes. Even during a holiday, he's so patriotic.
Suddenly, Tony walked into the library. When I say walked in, I mean he flew in in his armor carrying a few boxes.
"Don't destroy my library!" I yelled. "Also, what are you doing here?"
"I've brought food," he said, real casual. "Where do I put it?"
I pointed to an empty table. He set the boxes down there. "Oh, and Melissa, Mikey is coming over with Boots and your mom."
"What? Why?" she asked. "And what's going on?"
"Change of plans. We're bringing the party here. And we've got some civilians joining."
"Oh. Wait, this place isn't decorated enough." I started panicking. More customers were going to come and have lunch with us and this place needs to be more Christmassy. It needs to scream CHRISTMAS!
Bucky rolled his eyes. "Look around you. There's four Christmas trees, fairy lights, candy canes, bright lights and so much more. Decorate this place even more and I will get a fucking seizure."
"Um, yeah, sure. If you insist," I replied, still a little unsure.
He then brushed my lips gently against his. "You're cute when you're worried, but I need you to calm down, okay?"
I smiled. "Okay, okay. I'll try."
One by one, people started pouring in. The Avengers came in with their best Christmas clothes and various foods. Some customers came in too. I realized that all of them were customers from the library. Some of them were even regulars. We sat around on tables, chairs and even the floor. Clint (naturally) sat on top of a shelf. That fucking bird.
I picked up a mug of eggnog and took a deep breath, preparing for my speech.
"I suppose I have to give a toast as your host." I bit my tongue as I didn't mean that to rhyme. "This year has been one hell of a year. I've made new friends." I glanced at the Avengers. "My friendship with my old friend Melissa has become stronger." Melissa gave a thumbs up. "I've been getting more free food." I shot an accusatory look at Aunty Rita who merely shrugged. "I've gained a hella lot of new experiences with my newly found friends. But most importantly, I've found love." I looked at Bucky, who coyly winked at me. "I've recreated my life in this year, and I'm grateful for all of that."
I looked at the new faces around me. "Look, I know what's it like to not have a home to go to or to be rejected by your own family. I just want you to know that in here, this library, I accept all of you. We all do. You're welcomed here."
A few tears were shed by the customers. I raised my mug. "Here's to one happy Christmas. Merry Christmas y'all."
Everyone raised their mugs and said cheers. I muttered a silent thanks to my parents and Booker whom, I hope, were watching. I sipped the eggnog slowly. My face contorted in disgust.
"Oh God no," I gave my mug away to someone else. "I'm sorry but I just can't with the rum."
"There's actually bourbon, brandy and rum in it." Aunty Rita said.
I shuddered. "I think I've had enough alcohol for the year."
Everyone laughed. We started to eat. I was pleased to see the Avengers talking with the customers rather than just talking among themselves. I picked up a mug of hot chocolate and went to join a group of customers who were talking with Bucky. Surprisingly, Bucky seemed to be at ease with them.
"I guess I just can't with alcohol," Danny, a customer said.
"Same here," I said, barging in.
"But you're still young." Bucky said. "You've only tried alcohol twice, including now."
"When was the first time?" Alex, one of my first few customers asked.
"A few months back at Iceland."
"What drink?"
"Tequila. I had one shot and I was done."
They looked shocked. "You poor little thing."
The others laughed. "Just have a few more drinks and you'll get used to it," Miranda said.
"I think I'll stick to hot chocolate and virgin mojitos instead."
She rolled her eyes. "You must be boring at parties."
"True enough."
"But it's okay," Bucky comforted. "I still love you the way you are, alcoholic or not."
"That's a weird way of comforting me, but sure," I said.
"I'm trying!"
After a while, I left that group to talk with others, trying my best to be a good host. We had a few party games. I got to know my customers better. I got closer to the Avengers.
Soon, it hit eight o' clock. One by one, people started leaving until the only people left were me, Melissa, Steve and Bucky.
"I'm going to go head back now," Steve said. "Care to join me, Melissa?"
She took his hand. "Let's go, babe."
"Have fun you two!" Bucky called out as they were leaving.
"Use protection, okay?" I teased.
I could almost hear Steve blush while Melissa laughed it off.
"Now what?" I asked.
"This." Bucky reached over and kissed me.
"You really couldn't resist, huh?"
"Love you too."
We kept kissing. I suddenly felt something hard against my thigh. I pulled away and raised an eyebrow at Bucky. He blushed so hard, I felt a little warm.
"Sorry," he mumbled.
I closed the gap between us and kissed him harder. After a while of kissing, he pulled away.
"Come with me," he said.
He pulled my hand and I followed him out the door, making sure to grab my coat. We ran hand in hand to somewhere. I just followed Bucky. He took me to Battery Park. We went to the tree and entered our secret little location. It was pretty warm, so we took off our coats. I took out my sweater and rolled up my jeans. We sat down by the edge, our feet dipped into the water.
"So, why'd you bring me here for?" I asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
"I just wanted to get you alone," he said, resting his head on my shoulder. "Oh, and also this."
He did a perfect wolf whistle. "What was that for?" I wondered.
"Wait for it," he replied.
Suddenly, a kitten jumped out of a clump of bushes. It had pure black silky fur and big, black eyes that were reflective. It ran towards Bucky. Bucky picked it up and stroked its head gently. It meowed and smiled at Bucky. I cooed at it. It was so CUTE!
"Merry Christmas, Kean," he said.
He handed the kitten to me. I held it in my palm gently. It headbutted my chest. It purred gently. I noticed something peculiar about its paws.
"IT HAS THUMBS!" I screamed, excited.
"Ouch," Bucky said, rubbing his ears. "Don't make me go deaf, but yeah. It has thumbs. I found this kitten on the street. It was so cute yet severely malnourished. I nursed it back to health and here it is."
"What's its name?"
"Roge."
"Like our Steve Rogers?"
"Yeah. Because it keeps running and doing stupid things. Just like Steve."
I laughed. "That's not Steve."
"Oh, it is Steve Rogers. Trust me."
Roge climbed onto my shoulder and purred. I scratched his chin. He looked so cute and really comfortable, my heart was melting. He was definitely giving Boots a run for his money.
I decided that now would be the perfect time to give him my present to Bucky. I pulled out a small, rectangular case from my pocket.
"Merry Christmas, Bucky," I greeted, giving him the case.
He looked confused. "Um, thanks but what's this?"
"Open it."
He opened it and pulled out a key. "I don't understand." Realization suddenly dawned on him. "Wait, are you-"
"Would you like to move in with me?" I asked.
"Oh my God, YES!" he exclaimed.
Now it was my turn to go deaf. "Augh, calm down!" I complained.
"Took you long enough," he said.
"I was worried that we would have been rushing things. I didn't want to do that."
"But to be fair, you sleep next to me in bed and calmed me down all the time, sometimes at my place, sometimes at yours. I might as well move in with you and make your life easier."
"That's true," I agreed. "But I'm just being cautious."
"Oh, fuck cautious." He pulled me into a hug. "Wait, how are we going to sleep? Your bed is tiny."
"I bought a bigger one."
"Aww, thanks, babe."
He grabbed my face and kissed it. I stood up gently and kissed him back. Without warning, he wrapped one leg around me.
"B, what are you-" My question was interrupted when he wrapped his other leg around me. I was now carrying him.
I buckled under his weight. "Bucky, get off," I wheezed.
He continued kissing me. I managed to carry him for a minute before my legs gave way and I fell down, narrowly missing the lake. We burst out giggling. Roge, who was clinging onto my shoulder the whole time didn't seem to mind the commotion.
"Best. Christmas. Ever," I whispered into his ear.
"Same here," he whispered back.
* * * * *
P.O.V: Kean
My peaceful sleep was interrupted by a loud noise. I turned over sleepily to see what was going on.
"NO! DON'T!" Bucky screamed in his sleep. "DON'T KILL HIM! TAKE ME INSTEAD!"
I instantly was on alert. I got up and shook Bucky.
"Bucky! Wake up!" I yelled. "Wake UP!"
I shook him even more violently. Suddenly, he woke up. His eyes snapped open and he gasped for air. I help him sit up and rest his back against the back rest of the bed. I grabbed a glass of water and fed it to him. He gulped it down quickly.
Then, he started crying. I hugged him tightly. He hugged me back and cried on my shoulder. He rubbed his hands all over my back.
"Oh, you're alive," he mumbled between sobs. "You're here, and alive."
"I'm not going anywhere," I whispered to him. Reluctantly, I used a little bit of my powers to radiate happiness. It was calming him down. Slowly, but surely.
I didn't like to use my powers to calm him down. Using my powers was only a temporary fix. It wasn't going to help him in the long run. He needed to learn how to calm down without the help of my powers.
After twenty minutes, he stopped crying. He pulled away from my hug.
"Another nightmare?" I asked softly.
He looked down at my feet and nodded.
"Hey, look at me."
He lifted his head.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying here."
He nodded again. I kissed him gently and kept on doing so. It took him some time but he started to kiss me back. Even when he tried to pull away, I leaned in deeper and kept kissing him.
After a while, I decided that he'd be better. "Let's go back to sleep, 'kay?"
"Okay," he replied softly.
I lied down next to him, wrapping my arms and legs around his. I pulled the blankets around us and waited patiently until I was sure that he was in a deep sleep. Soon, I myself drifted into a fitful sleep.
* * * * *
P.O.V: Kean
"So, now what?" Bucky asked.
Bucky and I had just closed the library after a long day. We were upstairs chilling on our bed.
I checked the time. It was almost 6 p.m. "I'm going to go take a bath," I said. "Oh, and maybe we could grab dinner later?"
"Like a date?"
"Y-yeah." I realized that it has been a while since we went on a date. I just asked him out without even realizing so I felt a little nervous.
"You're cute when you stutter," he teased.
"Ha ha. Very funny."
I walked into the bathroom. I filled up the bathtub with water. I reached for a bath bomb that I bought recently and threw it into the tub. It dispersed into beautiful rainbow colours, dyeing the water. I put on some music, sat down in the tub and rested my eyes for a while.
Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands, one warmer than the other massaging my shoulders. I turned around.
"You couldn't resist, huh?" I asked.
"You left the door unlocked." Bucky smirked. That was strange. I always lock the door.
He continued massaging my shoulders. I unknowingly released a tiny moan. That made me feel so embarrassed, I blushed so hard I swear someone could see it despite my dark skin.
"Oh my God I'm so sorry," I said.
He kissed my cheek. "I found that really cute, actually. And sexy."
"I-" What was I supposed to do with that information?!
"Don't worry about it. Actually, don't think of anything. Clear your head. Don't be conscious of what you're doing."
"Um, sure."
He was right. As long as I didn't think of anything, I felt so good. I couldn't be bothered if I moaned or not. The longer he massaged me, the better I felt. The tension from my body was slowly being released. After a while, he stopped.
"Why did you stop?"
"We have to get ready for our date, remember?"
He went to the shower and took off his clothes. I looked away and decided to take a shower right there in the bath. I resisted the urge to look and stare at Bucky as he was showering. Even though we were a couple, I have never ever seen Bucky naked, and neither has he seen me naked.
The thing about me is that I've always felt a little shy whenever someone sees me naked. That's why we've never seen each other nude before. However, the more time I spent with Bucky, the less shy I felt. I felt more confident. If Bucky saw me naked right now, I wouldn't care.
After a while, I finished showering and was about to go change when I heard Bucky call me.
"Hey babe? Can you pass me the conditioner?"
Yes, my boyfriend uses conditioner. How else is he going to look like a walking Pantene commercial?
I grabbed the conditioner and went to pass it to him. I opened the glass door and handed it to him. As I was about to leave and close the door, Bucky surprised me by pulling me back into the shower. He crashed his lips into mine. I kissed him back. The steamy water from the shower came down raining on us.
"Using the old conditioner trick, eh?" I asked.
He merely smirked.
I realized that we were both buck naked but I couldn't be bothered. I loved every feeling of it. Man, clothes are so damn restricting.
Suddenly, Bucky gasped and pulled away. I raised an eyebrow in surprise, but mainly in irritation. This bitch just interrupted our moment.
"Oh my God, Kean. I'm so sorry, I forgot about it," he apologized, placing his hands behind my neck. "I forgot about how much you don't like being naked-"
I huffed and rolled my eyes. I smooched his lips. That was my way of letting him know that I was cool with it. He kissed me back but he pulled away.
"Are you sure-"
Oh my God he was being so annoying (I'm sorry but I was horny). I did something bold. I lifted him up. He yelped in surprise and instinctively wrapped his legs around me. I pushed him against the wall and starting kissing him. He (finally) returned the kiss and didn't hold back. I couldn't even be bothered about his boner pushing against my stomach. It actually felt warm and strangely nice but damn, he was big.
After a while of making out, he pulled away. "We should probably go get ready for that date."
I bit my lip. "Yeah."
Suddenly, I got an idea. "Pass me the conditioner."
He slid down the wall and handed the conditioner to me. I turned off the shower, poured some into my hand and rubbed it in between my palms. I began running my hands through his hair, lathering every single bit of the conditioner. He turned around, making my job easier. I massaged his hair and scalp, returning the favour of him massaging me earlier. I could feel his muscles relaxing. I could feel him enjoying it.
After a few minutes, I turned the shower on and washed his hair off. It was shiny and glistening.
"Alright, you're good to go," I said.
He turned around and kissed me. "Thank you, babe."
"You can thank me by hurrying up. Don't be late."
I left him there in the shower while I went to go change.
After we came back from our date (which was perfect, by the way), we went back to our home. I took off my clothes and changed to a simple pair of shorts. I went to pet Roge, who meowed excitedly seeing me. As Bucky was changing, I noticed a small, green bottle on the nightstand. I immediately knew what it was, which left me wondering why was it there.
I picked it up. Roge went away, probably to go sleep. He was a heavy sleeper.
"B?" I called out.
"Yeah?" he asked, coming up to me, wearing his a pair of boxers which wasn't uncommon for him. He would always wear boxers whenever we were at home.
"What's this?" I held up the bottle.
His eyes widened. "I-I, well, um, I don't know?" He sounded unsure.
"What do you mean, you don't know?"
"I-I don't know how it got there. Like, I know what it is, but I didn't go and buy it."
I raised my eyebrow.
"I'm serious!" He sounded genuine.
"So, who could have-" I realized who might have left it there.
"Booker, you there?" I called out to the air.
The glass of water on my nightstand started to vibrate. I took that as a sign.
"Seriously?" I said, sounding unamused.
"Your ex put it there?" Bucky squeaked nervously. His voice was a little high pitched, which sounded cute.
"I guess so. But you know what?" I walked up to him. "I think, it's about time."
"You're ready?" he asked.
I nodded. "You, me, the bed. Now."
"Are you sure? I don't want to rush things. Also, what if I go too hard? Or what if I don't go hard enough? What if it's too painful? Or what if you don't like it? Or what if-"
I walked up to him and put a finger on his lips. "Stop overthinking this. Because I know that I will enjoy this. Also, be honest, you want this."
"But do you want this?"
"I would be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about doing it."
He looked a little surprised by the fact that I was thinking about it, but then he smirked. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this."
"Shall we?" I invited.
He kissed me passionately and threw me on the bed (gently, of course). I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
The next morning, sunlight shone through the window, waking Bucky and I up.
"Hey," we said at the same time, then chuckled.
"You know what's the best part about sex?" Bucky asked.
"What?" I asked back, a little groggily.
"No bad dreams."
My eyes widened at the piece of news he just dropped. "Wait, for real?"
He nodded, beaming but still looking sleepy.
"So, we've found your cure, eh?" I asked.
"Yeah, we did. But, like, we can't do this all the time."
"Why not?"
"Can you sit up?"
I realized that I could barely sit up. My butt felt numb. Last night was so fucking good, even since it was my first time and Bucky's first time with a guy. We lasted surprisingly long. We also flipped
"Maybe we can just lie in bed the whole day?" I suggested.
"See? I told you," he said, a little smug. "You can't even walk."
I rolled my eyes. "Can you get up?"
He laughed. "As if that's supposed to be hard." He tried to get up but he groaned in pain. "Nope."
I smirked. "See? Now shut up and hold me."
He held me tightly. "I love you," he whispered into my ear romantically.
"Haven't you told me that enough times already?"
"I can tell you that as many times as I want, but it will never be enough."
"Stop, you're making me blush."
He pecked my cheek. "You're cute when you blush."
"How do I get you to shut up?"
He gave me a lazy lopsided smile. "Fuck me."
I took my pillow and whacked his head. "NO! Okay fine, maybe tonight."
He laughed and kissed me. We just laid there, falling back asleep in each other's arms.
* * * * *
P.O.V: Bucky
I paced nervously in my old bedroom back at the Avengers Tower. Kean should be here any moment now. I was so anxious that I was putting my hands up in the air, grabbing my hair, trying to pull it out and a bunch of other stuff that I didn't realize I was doing.
Kean went on a mission with Melissa and Wanda. Kean has been on a few missions already but I received a call from Melissa saying that Kean passed out from exhaustion. He does this all the time.
Not only am I worried about him, I'm furious. I've told him countless times to not exert himself. But he never listens. He doesn't prioritize his own well-being. Melissa and Steve are used to him passing out but I don't think I'll ever be.
The door opened, snapping me out of my thoughts. A cheerful looking Kean came in and ran up to me.
"Bucky!" Kean hugged me tightly. I hesitated before hugging him back.
"Hey babe," I said softly.
Kean pulled away and gripped my shoulders. "What's wrong?"
Damn, I completely forgot that I'd usually be excited to see him. I would usually lift him up and hug him, even give him a hickey sometimes (much to his dismay).
"We need to talk," I said sternly but still concerned.
He looked surprised. "Why? Everything okay?"
I shook my head. "Close the door."
He went over to close the door. I walked over and sat down on the bed. Kean sat down next to me.
"B? What's going on?" Kean asked, fear creeping into his voice.
I took a deep breath. "How many times did you faint during the mission?"
He laughed. "Why would I faint?"
I stared at him.
He look down. "Twice."
I sighed. "Look, babe, I can't have you passing out every time you go on a mission."
"Wait, how do you know that I pass out?"
"I keep tabs. Kean, you've been on thirteen missions. How many times have you passed out?"
"I-I, uh, well, um, I don't know."
"Twenty times, Kean!" He flinched when I raised my voice.
"You've been counting?" He sounded surprised.
"No shit. You're my boyfriend. Of course I should know about this. Moreover, you're just starting out as an Avenger."
He gritted his teeth. "I would have appreciated it if you didn't stalk me."
"Look, point is, you need to stop taking a toll on yourself. Why do you even do this to yourself?"
"Someone has to save those people, right?" His voice was increasing slightly.
"You're not going on solo missions, dammit. You've always had at least one person with you."
"Yeah, but I can always do my job. And I do it pretty well." He sounded annoyed.
"You can't do shit if you're out cold." As soon as I said that, I remembered that Kean can pin down someone if he's asleep. It's been harder to escape it after he gained some muscles. I decided not to bring that up.
"I like doing what I do, okay?" He was clearly angry at me now.
"Yeah, I know. I know that you like the praise that you get from the Avengers. For good reason! That's okay! But I can't stand to see you not being conscious. I can't stand to see you, well, not standing on your own two feet!"
Kean stood up quick. "I'm always going to be okay! Why can't you just let me save the world and be hero? It's nice to be useful for once!"
I was mad. I stood up too. I yelled at him, "Don't you remember the first time you passed out?! Tell me, Kean! Do you remember or NOT?!"
"YES! Of course I fucking do! I-" he stopped abruptly. His mouth hung agape. He hung his head low, unable to respond. He stood there in silence for a few seconds, then left the room, shutting the door quietly.
I plopped myself down on the bed. Will he ever understand how I would feel? If he gets killed, I don't think I can ever live either.
P.O.V: Kean
Honestly, the mission went really well but I was feeling exhausted. It was already late at night. I was looking forwards to fall into the arms of my bae and kiss him until we both fall asleep.
We do that all the time, so don't judge. But you should try it out with your partner. It's really amazing. Or maybe you'll can have sex then fall asleep. That works wonders too.
But when Bucky came in looking disappointed, I knew I was fucked. As in, neither of us were going to get the D tonight.
After I left the room, I went down to the living room just to take a look, out of habit. Melissa and Steve immediately came up to me.
"What happened?" Melissa asked. "We heard screaming."
"We had to calm everyone down, saying that it was going to be okay," Steve said. "But, it's everything okay?"
Shit, I didn't realize how loud we were yelling. I sighed. "It's fine, nothing to worry about."
"Kean, when you hear screaming, there's a lot of things to worry about," Melissa said.
"It's okay, guys. I'll figure it out," I replied.
Steve let out a tired sigh. "Fine, but we're always here to talk about it, okay?"
I nodded. "Yeah, thanks guys."
The two of them hugged me. After we pulled away, I told them, "Make sure to use protection, okay? Melissa isn't good on her birth control."
Steve smirked. "Don't worry, we'll be responsible."
"And just so you know," Melissa said. "Fuck birth control. I hate that shit."
"Or do anal," I suggested. "Avoid pregnancies."
Steve choked but Melissa wrinkled her nose. "Nah, I tried that a few times but I didn't like it."
The two of them left to their room. I was surprised that Steve didn't blush or run away the first time. That's some improvement.
The living room was empty and silent. None of the Avengers were there.
"J.A.R.V.I.S?" I called out. "Where are the Avengers?"
"Mr Stark is in his lab, Melissa and Captain Rogers are in his room, Mr Barnes is in his room and the rest are at a bar," JARVIS replied.
"Oh, thanks."
I walked back home. I jumped onto the bed and thought about what happened between me and Bucky. Bucky was only concerned about my health and well being. I just wanted to save lives.
Being a superhero was great. The media still hasn't heard of me yet, but every time I do something good, I get a genuine praise or compliment. The Avengers like me, even Tony who was initially super nervous around me.
But then I cared about Bucky as well. Bucky was keeping tabs on me the whole time. He really cared a lot about me. He really wanted me to be okay at all times. All of those times where I passed out, I could only imagine how nervous and scared he was. He really cared a lot about me.
The first time I exerted myself way too much, I died. I was lucky enough to come back alive. Bucky was overjoyed, but he was constantly having nightmares about me dying and his HYDRA past.
If I were to die, or even come close to dying, Bucky will go crazy. Literally insane. His mind will snap.
I tried to fall back asleep but at around 1.30 p.m., I take it anymore. I should have been more careful. I can't keep risking my life. I can't keep being the hero as exhilarating as it was. I would also have to step back and let whoever else is fighting with me to help out. I need to make sure I'm more safe because the people will always be. I wouldn't.
I got back up and was about to run out and head to the tower when I noticed someone on the couch. It was Bucky. I was so wrapped up in my head that I didn't even notice that he returned.
Bucky usually looks peaceful and calm when he's sleeping but this time, he looked horrible. He looked messy and disheveled. The skin around his eyes was moist, as if he was crying.
I gently shook him. He quickly opened eyes. "What do you-" he asked harshly but came to an abrupt stop when he noticed that it was me.
"Oh, Kean." His voice was soft but he was still angry.
He sat up and looked at me. I kneeled on the ground and looked down.
"You were right," I said.
His angry expression turned to confusion.
"Wait, what?" he asked.
I faced him. I had to look up a little as he was a couple of inches taller than me.
"I shouldn't be risking my life to save others," I said.
He shook his head. "I didn't say that-"
"Let me finish," I cut him off. "I can't keep passing out all the time because I overexert myself. I can't use my powers too much because I'm just starting out. This can get myself killed and all of the training that we're doing will be for nothing."
I paused, letting him take all of this in. He then nodded his head. "Okay," he replied. He didn't look angry anymore, but he did look annoyed and disappointed.
"No. It's not okay. Because I totally forgot about you. I got so caught up in the fun of being a hero that I ignored everyone around me. I shouldn't have done that, especially to you. You don't deserve that."
His face was tinged with sadness. He no longer looked annoyed at me.
I cupped his face with both my hands. "I'm so, so sorry. I completely forgot the first time I passed out and what happened after that. I forget about how you were after that happened. With me passing out too may times, I can imagine how you would feel. And I realized that me ignoring all of that made me an asshole. I-"
I choked, holding back tears. At this point, I was just rambling. I hung my head low again. "I'm so sorry about this. I'm such a horrible human being. If I died, I know what will happen to you and I would never, ever be able to stand that. I could never forgive myself for that. I know what will happen when I die. You would feel the same way as I would if you were to die. If you had died-"
I abruptly stopped, unable to continue without breaking down. The thought of Bucky dying was way too much for me. Bucky saw me dying in his nightmares. Almost all the time, almost every night. How did he do it? I couldn't even think of him dying.
Bucky pulled me up to him from the floor, letting me bury my face in his chest. My hands found their way from his face to down his back. I cried, loud and ugly tears flowing like Niagara Falls. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I whispered like an incantation which I couldn't stop chanting.
"It's okay, baby. It's okay," he told me soothingly, trying to make me stop apologizing. When that didn't work, he pulled me higher to his face and kissed me. That made me shut up.
When he pulled away, I still couldn't look at him. I went back to sobbing in his chest. He placed his face on my hair. He breathed in the smell, which was apparently amazing because I heard him exhale a sigh of satisfaction before inhaling back in again.
"You have nothing to apologize for, baby," Bucky told me softly but reassuringly as soon as I stopped sobbing. "It's just, I'm so sorry. I know that you've never wanted this but after realizing that you actually liked it, I should have trusted you more. You're strong, brave and amazing. I was shit scared that you would die. But when you left, I realized that I was being selfish and I need to let you be more independent. I should have-"
I lifted up my head. "Stop," I cut him off. "I don't want you to ever think for a second that any of this is your fault. Not even a bit is. This is on me. I have to be more careful. I can't let you keep worrying about me. That's your job, to worry about me. So stop apologizing. Because I'm sorry."
He smiled sadly. "Okay, okay." He kissed my tears away, something which I found extremely romantic and caring. He then kissed my forehead, right in the middle where my forehead met the roots of my hair. I shuddered mildly, feeling tingles all over my body.
He mumbled something which I couldn't make out. "What did you say, B?" I asked.
"You'll see," he replied, which made me a little nervous.
Soft music started playing from my new home assistant's speaker. I recognized it. "Is this Love by Lana Del Rey?"
He nodded. He stood up with me and started swaying to the beat, making me do the same. He rested his head on my shoulder. Even thought we've been together for almost a year now, I still somehow blushed. We've never actually danced together. Slow dancing was a great start.
After the song ended, we walked over to the bed where we just laid down there. Being big spooned by Bucky felt so comfortable. Until Bucky started kissing my neck. It felt good but something about it felt off which made me pull away. I touched the area where he kissed it.
"Did you just give me a hickey?" I asked.
I could almost hear him grin. "Yeah."
"Ugh, I hate you," I groaned. "What will the others say tomorrow when they see it?"
"Who cares about what they say? Fuck them."
I rolled my eyes. "Easier said than done."
After a few moments of silence, I asked Bucky, "Hey, are we good now?"
"Yeah, baby. We are. Don't worry, okay?"
I smiled to myself. I love this man so much. Wait, is a 23-year-old guy count as a man? Is it too young? Oh wait, he's like hundred but who cares?
"But you do know that I need to punish you, right?" Bucky said suddenly.
I turned around and bit my lip seductively. "Naked punishment?"
He smirked devilishly. "Naked punishment."
He crashed his lips against mine. We were kissing almost aggressively. I enjoyed every single bit of it. I'll leave the rest to your mind.
I'm just so glad to have Bucky by my side. I often wondered what did I do to deserve him. But then, it don't matter because it's enough to be young and in love.
Maybe we aren't a picture perfect couple. We both have our flaws. We both have problems. We both have our dark pasts. But we're going to help each other and stick through it all no matter what happens.
Because that's why we exist: To help each other and be with every step that we take together.
|Word Count: 7059|
And we are DONEEEEEEE!!! Thank you guys so much for reading this. If y'all stuck through all of this from the very beginning, why? I love you guys so much and again thank youuuu. Love you guys. Please leave some comments on what was good and how I can improve. Love ya peeps once again!
This is Luke Insanis, signing out for now.