After a few days, Harry and Niall have come to the conclusion that Niall isn't going to be supplied with bedding. It's unfair, in Harry's eyes, but Niall keeps trying to make excuses, saying that maybe they're just waiting for the brigade to drop off new supplies at the cache, and maybe word hasn't gotten back to them that they have a new recruit. Harry knows it's a bunch of shit - they have plenty of old bedding from soldiers that have long passed, and even though he would prefer Niall to be given a brand new set of supplies, he knows it's next to impossible.
However, Harry isn't against Niall sleeping close to keep warm. In fact, he always tries to move closer after Niall has fallen asleep, covering him with more of the blanket or letting him have the pillow. Niall must have noticed at this point, considering they wake up nearly pressed against each other. Harry tries to at least give him a little space, but the days are getting colder recently, as winter is officially upon them. Thankfully, they're far enough south that snow doesn't seem to be much of a problem just yet.
After about two weeks of Niall's integration, when Harry moved close, Niall turned over. Harry froze, not wanting to wake him up further.
"You comfortable with this?" Niall asks sleepily, his eyes still closed.
Harry wants to stay silent, but he speaks before he can stop himself, "You're cold."
"You keep me warm." Niall takes in a deep breath and moves back on the pillow, leaving space for Harry to rest his head.
Harry studies Niall's tired face, "You sure?"
"Of course. Are you?"
Harry nods instead of speaking, throwing the blanket up and feeling the cold air before it settles back down on both of them. Harry's back is sticking out so he moves closer, resting his head next to Niall's.
"Your body keeps me warm. I can feel it radiate off you when you sleep." Niall whispers and, for the first time since they've first began staying together, he lets his body touch Harry's. "I've been wanting to do this since that first night, but I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable."
"I'm not uncomfortable." Harry reminds him, relishing in Niall's own body heat. "You keep me warm too."
"Good. Then we can continue?" Niall finally opens his eyes and Harry wishes it wasn't so dark so he could see them properly.
"Yeah. As long as you need to keep warm, I'll be here."
"That's sweet, Harry." Niall sighs. "I'm happy I don't make you uncomfortable."
Harry furrows his eyebrows, his arms twitching to reach around Niall and pull him closer. He whispers, "Why would you make me uncomfortable?"
"Most people can't handle even knowing a nancy, let alone be friends with them or defend them or sleep close to them. Especially considering my previous profession."
"Who you like and what you used to do doesn't define you, you define you."
Niall laughs, "How eloquent. I don't think most of society would agree with you."
"Fuck society. Fuck what they think about you. All that matters is what you think about yourself, and if you're happy with who you are." Harry rambles, wanting to bring Niall out of this obvious self-depreciation rut he seems to be in currently.
"Seriously," Niall's laugh grows louder. "you should become a writer or something."
"Maybe I will." Harry jokes. "Maybe I'll write about my adventures in the war and tell about this man I met that wanted to die."
Niall groans, "Enough of that. No more bringing up the past."
"You're the one who started it by talking about yours."
Niall thinks for a second. "How about this, I'll forget about my past of prostitution if you forget about my borderline suicide dream."
"Sure, as long as neither of them start up again." Harry offers.
Niall nods, before laying his head back down on the pillow. "I promise. No more doing things I really don't want to do."
Harry agrees silently, joining Niall on the pillow, pulling the blanket up to his chin. Niall reaches for it as well, curling a fist in the material.
They fall silent again, and Harry assumes Niall's fallen back to sleep. Harry can't seem to forget what Niall said.
Quietly, Harry calls out, "Niall?"
He takes a moment, but eventually Harry hears a soft sigh in response.
"About... not doing things you don't want to..."
"I won't do anything that I can control, Harry. If I can get out of it, I will."
Harry takes a moment before finally asking, "Does that mean you're going to stand up for yourself against these men?"
Niall groans loudly, and Harry's afraid he might wake up the men in the tent next to theirs. "If I don't do as they say, they will kill me. I have no choice but to let them push me around."
"But you don't like it, and neither do I. I want to stop them, but every time I step in, you tell me to stop. I know you don't want me to get hurt, but, Niall, what they're doing is fucked up."
"What do you expect me to do to combat it, Harry?" Niall asks rhetorically. "If I go against them, they call me a traitor that's not even trying to 'be accepted' and they'll just throw me out. If I take it, they call me a worthless piece of shit. Out of the two, I'd much prefer taking a beating at roll-call, being ostracized, and being forced to polish sabers over possibly losing my life."
"I get that, but if you'd just let me step in to defend you, or take a beating in your place--"
"Then you'd just be weakened. You're still expected to fight, Harry. I have no weapons of my own, no supplies, nothing. They wouldn't throw me onto a battlefield to fight alongside you, at least not now. If you're weak from taking a beating for me, and then you're thrown into a battle, you could die." Niall stops for a moment, gulping down a breath. "They wouldn't senselessly throw you to the dogs. They trust you, and they want to keep you in the best condition to fight for your cause. And one of these days, they'll trust me too."
Harry shakes his head, his hair sticking to the pillow from the collected static. "They're never going to trust you."
"Shut up, yes they will." Niall protests, aggravated. "It's gonna take a long time, but they will. They're just superstitious, I think. I'm still the enemy to them."
"They've seen enough of you to know you're not, though. You never were. They're letting their hatred for your old comrades blind them, and they're taking their aggression against them out on you and you don't deserve it."
Niall whispers, "I know I don't. But I don't want to die either. They can beat me, and hate me, but they won't kill me. Not when they risk losing you if they do so."
"I'm one person."
"Yeah, and this one person has held them at bay from the moment I met you. They could've killed me ages ago, but if they did, you would leave their company, and I don't know if you notice, but they look up to you, Harry."
"Why would they ever look up to me?"
"Because you were one of the few people that survived being captured by the enemy. You managed to lead them all the way back home with a half-finished map. You managed to dislocate someone's jaw with a single hit. You are one of the strongest people in this damn company. You could over-power the corporal if you wanted to."
"I couldn't."
"You could. When I first arrived here, the corporal wanted me dead just like the rest of them. And just from your quick thinking, you managed to get him thinking of how I'd be useful, and you tricked him into keeping me alive. When they found that map, he was going to kill me again, but you stepped in and told him I could be a soldier." Niall sits up again. "In this war, people have been captured and killed within seconds and their corporal's wouldn't bat an eye. Dammit, whenever I reported to my company that one of you had died in the barn, they'd all say 'good riddance'. But, somehow, you convinced the corporal to keep me alive. You convinced him I was useful for something, but he doesn't believe in me, he believes in you.
"That's not something you can just throw away, Harry. If they lose your trust, they lose you. They can't afford that. You have the power to overcome every person in this damn company, and they can't risk that happening."
"Why am I some kind of special case?"
"I don't know why, Harry. It must have been something you did ages ago, before you met me, that caused them to all put their faith in you. Can you think of anything?"
Harry tries to think for a moment, but he can't come up with anything. "No."
"Hm. Try asking them about it some time. Or try showing them you don't trust them anymore. See how they react."
"Maybe I will. Maybe tomorrow, I'll stand up to them." Harry's voice rises a few octaves, though inside, he isn't sure how he's going to go about it. He wants to stand up to them, but he really doesn't think what Niall's saying has any weight to it. He doesn't have the power to take over this entire camp.
Maybe they are just paranoid and treat Niall badly because they're afraid he's still a traitor. Maybe they're just waiting for the right moment to kill him, when Harry is powerless and Niall is too weak to do anything about it.