"I'll keep you safe, try hard to concentrate. Hold out your hand, can you feel the weight of it?"
EDIT: There were some formatting issues, and I'm really sad that I'm going to lose all the comments, but this was going to bug me so badly, so here! All fixed, hopefully.
I walked out from backstage to see Virgil sitting at the edge of the stage, staring out into the darkened theatre. He was holding his copy of the script and muttering quietly to himself. I walked over to him and wrapped my hands around his eyes, listening to his quiet sigh.
"Oh, is it one of my many boyfriends?" Virgil teased and I dropped my hands.
"One?" I made affronted noises. "Excuse me?" I sat next to him and held his hand.
"Relax, Princey. There isn't anyone else. I'm not sure if you noticed but there isn't a line to try and date me." Virgil leaned into my side. I wrapped my other arm around him and kissed his forehead.
"Good, because that means I stand a better chance than I thought." I laughed but I noticed Virgil remained quiet. "Love? Are you alright?" I remembered earlier when he seemed off.
"Roman, I have something to tell you." Virgil turned to me looking down. "Relax! It's not bad!" He reassured me after the panic showed on my face.
"Oh, then go ahead." I let go of his hand and turned to face him. "You have my undivided attention."
"Well, I wanted to tell you we-" Virgil started to speak, but he jumped back at least a foot when the doors opened. And, because her timing is fan-freaking-tastic, there was my mother.
"Roman? Are you still in here?" She walked in and saw us. "Oh, hi Virgil!"
"Hi, Ruth." Virgil waved but I heard the shaking in his voice.
"Roman, did you forget I was picking you up after rehearsal today?" She shook her head and smiled at Virgil like they were sharing an inside joke. "Boys, am I right?"
I almost protested that considering Virgil is also a boy, but I stopped when I saw the traces of tears in his eyes. He was having a panic attack. "Mom, I'll be out in a minute, I need to do something. Wait outside for me, okay?
"Alright." She turned and walked out the double doors. Virgil gasped for air as soon as she did, clawing at the stage.
"Virgil? Darling, follow my breathing." I sat next to him, desperately trying to calm him down. Think. Think. What did Patton tell me to do whenever he panicked?!
Don't touch him, I think that bothers him, I grasped at the memories. Try to get him to follow your breathing.
"Inhale for 4 seconds," I recalled Patton's exercise. Virgil tried, but he stopped after 2 seconds. "Try it one more time, love." I begged, but he couldn't do it. But, I noticed his breathing had slowed, if only a little.
"She... she could have walked in," He gasped out. "Could... could have seen us... been mad... mad at you... never get to tell you..." His eyes were wide and unfocused. I remembered the last thing Patton had told me.
"Virge, sweetheart, I know it's difficult, but can you name 5 things you see? Anything at all." I pleaded, trying not to touch him. Even though all I wanted was to hold him in a tight embrace, I fought the urge.
There were just the sounds of frantic gasps until he spoke. "Stage... curtains... you..." His words were choked as he stopped.
"No, baby. You're doing so well." I smiled softly as his hand touched mine. I squeezed his hand. "Just two more, Virgil."
"Seats... stage-lights..." The words were easier now.
"Beautiful, baby." I smiled again. "Now, let's try 4 things you can touch."
"You, stage... hair... shirt." He said the last one tugging at my shirt. I took as a cue to move closer to him. He rested his head on my chest.
"So good. You're almost done. 3 things you can hear?"
"Your voice... machine sounds... my breathing." Virgil's voice was relatively steady and his breathing didn't shake as much.
"Almost there. 2 things you can smell?" I kissed the top of his forehead and he nuzzled closer to me.
"Cologne and paint." He took one more deep shuddering breath.
"Last thing and it's over. You're so strong, aren't you?" He whimpered at the soft praise. "One thing you can taste."
"Bile. In my mouth." The words came easily this time as he looked up at me, sitting up.
"Feeling better?" I ran a hand over his cheek and he melted into the touch.
"Yeah. Thank you. It's always a little hard to calm me down." He fixed his warm brown eyes on me.
"Do you want me to stay with you? I can tell her to leave." I said, wincing as Virgil flinched.
"No, you go home. I'll be alright. Sorry I freaked over that." He shook his head, but I held his chin so he looked at me.
"You don't have to apologize to me, Virgil. I'm glad I could help you this time. You promise to call me if something happens?" I asked and he nodded. I pressed a soft kiss onto his lips and he pulled me closer. We pulled back and smiled.
I jumped off the edge of the stage and extended my hand to him. He took it gingerly and leaped off, staggering into me. We walked hand in hand until we left the building. I waved him goodbye and slid into the passenger side of my mother's car.
"Good day at rehearsal?" She asked with a bright smile.
"Yeah," I smiled, not even remembering what Virgil had wanted to talk about. "It was pretty alright at the end."
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This part was a monster to write for some reason, the writer's block was killing me. But I think it's not too bad. Question: What fusion of Sanders Sides are you? I'm Moxiety! Or maybe Logicality. Point is, there's a lot of warm hugs and existentialism in me. Love you guys! Take it easy guys gals and non-binary pals. Peace out!