CHAPTER FIFTY FIVE
NORTHERN'S POV
Ring..
Ring..
Ring..
Tapping my right foot on the floor, I waited patiently for someone to answer my call. Sitting on my swivel chair for a long hour had made my butt go numb, I haven't stood up yet since lunch break because of the ton of papers waiting to be done on my desk. These past weeks has been very tough for me, ang daming binabagsak na trabaho sa akin ni Daddy na tila sinasadyang gawin iyon. He knew about my little escapades, he knew I wasn't at business trips and doing sleepovers at friends' house, I'm not just sure if he also knew about my relationship with Vape.
I was scared. Scared of what might be his reaction if he found out I am sleeping with my sister's best friend. I never open my lovelife to my family, they see me as someone who is passionate about my career and not someone who passionately bedding my sister's best friend. But will they blame me? After what happened to me and Eiji before I became desperate of love. I thought Noah was the one but then Vape showed up during my downfall. He was there even if I didn't asked him to. He saw my weakness, he saw my tears, he saw the worst in me yet he stayed beside me. He stood up for me, he never left me.
Pero lahat ng confidence na meron ako ay bumabagsak sa t'wing nagbabago ang pakikitungo niya. I knew to myself that he wasn't permanent but it still hurt everytime he treats me differently. Katulad nalang ngayon, tinatawagan ko siya pero hindi sumasagot. Alam kong busy lang siya pero kailangan ba talagang hindi niya sagutin ang cellphone?
The ring ended and I sighed feeling defeated and betrayed. My eyes burn, swallowing hard I did all my best to fight back the traitor tears. No, I can't cry. Walang kami kaya wala akong karapatang magdemand ng atensyon niya. Tama na iyong binibigyan niya ako ng halaga sa t'wing magkasama kami.
Sapat na iyon.
"Miss North?" My secretary peered inside, giving me a confused yet knowing look.
Clearing my throat, I gave her a quick nod.
She smiled and closed the door softly.
Sighing deeply I stood up, smooth my skirt and grabbed my shoulder bag before heading to the door. Closing it behind me, a woman sitting at the couch got my attention. Agad itong tumayo ng makita ako at ngumiti. I returned her smile and made a beeline towards her, kissing her cheek I couldn't help but notice her emerald green sleeveless dress. It looked good on her, parang mas bumata siya tignan.
"You looked beautiful" I commented.
She giggled and caress the strand of my hair. Her eyes were full of admiration as she stare at me. I could see our small resemblance, the round eyes, black hair and high cheekbone. Madaling masabi na mag-ina nga kami.
"Thank you. Shall we go?"
We linked our arms together and headed to the lift. I finished all my paperworks for this day just to spend time with my family. Mom has her own company, Dad is busy serving his country, South is also busy at her studies as well as my brothers at ako naman ay abala din sa kompanya. Minsan ay hindi na kami nagkakasabay na kumain, there's also a time when we don't see each other for a day and Dad leave the country for meetings kaya naman para makabawi, gusto niya kaming maglunch ng sabay-sabay ngayong kakarating niya lang galing Pakistan.
"Is Dad already in there?" I asked as the metal door closed in front of us.
"He's on his way too, I just want us to be there first to make sure everything is perfect when they arrived" she said, half turning to me to show her excitement.
I mirrored her reaction. "Absolutely."
Kung meron man akong namana kay Mommy iyon ay ang pagiging perfectionist, we want everything perfect and arranged properly. And just like her I love impressing everyone specially my family.
**
A suited oldman approached us with warm smile and appreciation upon entering the high-end restaurant. He recognized us instantly and lead us to the room I reserved for my family. Tilting my head upward, a small smile crept on my lips upon seeing the spiral chandelier. The place was very modern, very welcoming and extravagant. This was located at the 21'th floor of K Building, the city view was incredibly mesmerizing making you feel that it was worth it to be here.
"This way, Ma'am."
The oldman opened the door for us, I held my breath when I was greeted by a presidential-type room. Crystal chandelier, expensive paintings, luxurious vibe and eight seater dining table.
"Do you have any thing to add here Ma'am?" he asked politely.
Tumingin ako kay Mommy para sa opinion niya. She shake her head and smile at the guy. "I think this is perfect. Thank you."
He smiled and bowed. After he left and promised to bring us some wine, I cannot help but to voice out my appreciation for this place. Kitang-kitang dito ang city lights.
"This is amazing. The hundred-thousand bill was worth it."
Mom chuckled, pulling some chair and sat while checking her phone. "I cannot contact your sister. I asked her to drop to Gyro's school to pick him up. Do you think she won't mind it?" she asked raising her gaze at me.
I wasn't able to answer her immediately when the door opened and Dad came inside wearing his white sleeve shirt, black pants and black designer shoes. His guards stayed outside giving us some private moment.
"Hi." He made a beeline towards Mom who lit up upon seeing him. Raising to her feet, she welcomed him by kissing his lips.
I grimaced and awkwardly avert my gaze when they kiss like they are on a kissing war. It was too noisy and sloppy and.. gross!
"I love you, honey."
"I love you too. Hey, sweetheart." Finally, Dad noticed me.
A small smile plastered on my face as my cheeks still red. Simula noong magkabalikan sila ay halos hindi na sila mahiwalay sa isa't isa, they yearn each other even if they only separated for an hour. Halos manood na rin kami ng live porno sa t'wing nagkikita sila, bawat minuto hindi sila nagpapalampas kahit may mga audience pa silang nakikita.
"Hi Dad. How's work?" I asked.
"Stressful as always" he answered with a heavy sighed. "Anyway, aren't the kids supposed to be here as well as your grandparents?" looking at his wrist watch, his brows furrowed as he gave me a curious look. "Where's your sister?"
I shrugged my shoulders. I haven't contacted South and I don't see her these past few days. Kahit naman sa bahay siya nakatira ay palagi naman siyang wala, she's either on her school hanging out with her friends or dating her boyfriend. Tinawagan ko lang siya kanina para sabihing may magdidinner kaming lahat sa labas. I didn't got a response but sure she heard me.
"I called the guards and they said Nanang ang Tatang already left the house an hour ago."
We both turn to Mom with the same emotionless face. From the corner of my eye I saw Dad took a deep breath and placed his both hands on his waist.
"Baka na traffic lang. 45 minutes ang travel time papunta dito kapag galing sa bahay" I said, assuring them when I saw the worry in their eyes.
Tumango si Mommy, I saw the relief on her face. Turning to Dad he looked calmed again.
The oldman came back again with a wine. After pouring us some drink he excused if he could prepare our foods now.
"No not yet. We have to wait the others" Dad said calmly yet with authority.
"No problem sir." He smiled genuinely and leave the room again.
As I sipped on my wine, I checked my phone and saw I have no missed calls or texts from him. I smiled bitterly and shove my phone back to my bag. If he doesn't want to contact me then don't, this is not the right way to dump me but what can I do? I cannot push someone to give a damn care to me.
With a heavy heart and a watery eyes I drank down my wine. I feel like I wanted to get wasted tonight I just have to make sure to find the best bar later. Sisiguraduhin ko na makakalimutan ko kahit panandalian lang si Vape.
"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Mom's voice interrupted my plan.
Tumango ako at tipid na ngumiti. "I'm fine."
Dad gave me a look which I cannot name what was the meaning behind it. Umiwas ako ng tingin dito nang makaramdam ako ng guilt. May idea siya sa mga nangyayari sa akin ngunit hindi naman niya alam na tungkol ito lahat kay Vape. I just don't have the courage to admit this all to them.
"Are you sure?" Mom gave me a curious yet concern look.
Nodding my head I smiled widely to reassure her, she doesn't look convinced but in the end she smiled and nod her head. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag ngunit hindi pa rin ako tuluyang panatag dahil sa tinging binibigay ni Daddy sa akin. I shook my head to avert my gaze at him.
"What is it, Northern?"
I swallowed hard when I heard his voice with so much authority and power. Looking up at him, I saw how intense his dark orbs while staring at me.
"I know what you are up to these days, so tell me what is it right now?" he asked making my heart thump loudly inside my chest.
Tila nagkandabuhol ang dila ko, I couldn't find the words to say. My mouth parted as I stare at him dumbfoundingly. From the corner of my eye, Mom looked at us curiously. Palipat-lipat ang tingin niya sa aming dalawa at halatang naghihintay ng sagot.
"D-dad.." Pumiyok ako kaya muli akong lumunok. Averting my gaze, I wipe my sweaty palms on my skirt.
I heard him put down his wine glass, leaning on the table he gave me his full attention. "What are you hiding from us?" he asked darkly.
Biting my lower lip I glance at him only to regret it immediately when I saw how serious he is. I silently pray that someone will gonna interrupt us just like what usually happen to a cliché situation like this but as I waited, no one came to save me.
Malakas ang tibok ng dibdib ko, nanginginig ang mga kamay ko at hindi ako makatingin ng diretso sa mga magulang ko. I feel like a criminal caught in the scene. I don't know if I should confess my sin or pretend I was a victim. I am completely lost.
"You knew that I hate it when you were hiding something from me-- from us. You were so open to us, Northern what happened to that young lady who never let anyone worry about her?" sabi ni Daddy. Hindi ko matukoy kung seryoso siya o pinaparamdam niyang guilty ako. Ang alam ko lang ay natamaan ako sa concern nito sa akin.
What would I gonna say, that I was my sister's best friend bitch? Sasabihin ko ba na; Dad may nangyayari sa amin ni Vape pero hindi ko alam kung mahal ba niya ako. Or Dad in love ako sa lalaking in love sa kapatid ko.
Paano ko magagawang sabihin sakanila na nagpapakatanga ako dahil sa isang lalaki? I thought love is not that complicated, nasasabi ko iyon dati kasi hindi pa ako natatamaan ni Kupido. Hindi ko rin naisip na komplikado ang pag-ibig nang makilala ko si Noah, I thought everything is perfect and easy but I was wrong. I fell in love with the most complicated man in the world, my supposed to be perfect love story was ruined because of him. Should I really blame him? or blame myself because I was too foolish?
Sighing deeply, I look at Dad with a war in my head. I don't want to tell him but I feel like I needed to, not because I want them to stop worrying but to have someone to listen to me. Iniwan na ako ni Summer na akala ko best friend ko, si South naman ay may sariling pino-problema sa love life kaya hindi ko siya pwedeng bigyan ng ibang problema at si Nanang naman, hindi ko na siya pwedeng sabihan ng mga secret the last time I did, tyinismis niya ako sa mga katulong sa mansyon. Si Mommy naman ay hindi pa ako komportable na magsabi sakanya ng mga problema ko. So there is no one to talk to. Kung hindi pa ako tinanong ng mga magulang ko baka iisipin ko ng mag-isa nalang talaga ako sa buhay ko.
"Dad, I fell in love and it's so complicated" I blurted out before I regret it.
His expression never change, dark yet soft. Glancing at my mother, her eyes softened and gave me a reassuring nod, a small but sweet smile on her lips. She reached for my hand I didn't disappoint her. Nagkaroon ako ng instant courage dahil sa ginawa niya.
"Sweetheart, love is not love without complications" sabi ni Daddy kaya mabilis akong bumaling sakanya.
"He's in love with someone else" my voice cracked. "And I don't know if he is in love with me too."
Tumango si Daddy na tila naiintindihan ang sinasabi ko. "Did he said something to you, like reassurance or what?" he asked.
My eyebrows furrowed as I thought of Vape's magical words.
"Don't please, not now that I'm falling."
"Sshh, let's love each other."
Feeling the warm on my cheeks, I immediately shake off my head. I exactly remember what happened after he said those words.
"Sabi niya nahuhulog na siya" I confessed the first line.
Tumango tango ulit si Daddy. Para lang akong nasa executives meeting nito, I was the presenter and Dad was my client who is assessing my proposal.
"He's falling and you must hold on to that."
"Pero Dad he's acting cold this past weeks. Tinatawagan ko siya pero hindi sumasagot!" I said, the pain and anger crept on my system again.
"Maybe he's busy? Did you tried going to his place?" he asked. He sounded concern to the guy, kapag sinabi ko bang si Vape ang lalaking tinutukoy ko magagawa pa niya kayang kampihan ito?
I shook my head feeling defeat. "No. And I don't want to. The fact that he's not answering my calls means he doesn't care anymore. Why waste time going to his place? Pagod na akong maghabol sakanya. Pagod na akong umasa, kung ayaw niya sa akin edi 'wag! Masyado akong maganda para pag-aksayahan siya ng panahon!" Tumataas na ang tono ko pero wala na akong pakialam. Bakit ba ang bobo-bobo ko? Maganda naman ako, sexy at mayaman, there are too many guys out there who wants me so why bother settling to a dickhead guy? Kawalan na ni Vape.
"You love him, don't you?" Dad arc his brow.
Tumango ako, humahapdi ang mga mata ko sa dahil sa mga luhang gustong lumabas. "But he's hurting me."
Dad lean closer to held my cheek. Napapikit ako kaagad sa ginawa niya, sa pagpikit ko ay tumulo na rin ang naipong luha sa mga mata ko.
"Sweetheart, you must ask him then."
My eyes immediately open and looked at him curiously. "What?"
"Ask him if what he truly feels about you. You must stop this pain inside your chest in one good way because you were right, you are too beautiful. You must not waste your time over a guy who doesn't see your worth. Ask him and if he say he doesn't feel any thing, tell me and I'll send my army to kill him. Or I'll kill him myself either," he glance at my mom asking for some permission. Mom chuckled and nod her head, giving him the approval.
"Masyado ng maraming paasang tao sa mundo, kailangan na silang bawasan" aniya.
I swallowed hard. Bagay nga sila, parehas bayolente.
Shaking my head, I smile to Dad and lean closer to hug him. "Thank you Dad" I whispered.
He gave me a soft pat on my back and kiss the top of my head. "Everything for my daughter."
Napangiti ako, masaya ako na kahit wala man akong best friend para sabihan ng lahat ng mga problema ko, may Daddy naman ako na handang makinig at ipagtanggol pa ako. I am so blessed with them.
We were interrupted when the door burst open. Wiping my cheeks and composing myself, Mom and Dad stood up to greet Nanang ang Tatang. Nakita ko na kasama na rin nila ang mga kapatid ko. Kompleto na kami. Tumayo din ako para batiin sila. Kissing my grandparents cheek, I noticed my sister staring at me like there's a dick grew on my forehead.
"Hi sis" I ignored her weird stare. Tango lang ang ginanti niya bago bumaling kay Daddy.
"What took you so long?" Dad asked her.
"Traffic. Akala ko ba may solution ka na sa traffic?" nangunot ang noo niya.
Dad sighed deeply. "Meron na kaso sa susunod na taon pa sisimulan ang underground railroads and underground expressways at mga skyways. Just a little patience, South. Uunlad din ang Pinas" he reassured her.
South just shrug her shoulders and took a seat. Ganoon din kami, I was seated in between Gyro and East. Katapat ko si South na tahimik at paminsan minsan ay titingin sa akin na parang may sinisigurado siya. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari sakanya pero ganoon pa man, masaya ako na makita siya muli.
The foods were served as the elders talked about politics, lifestyle and history. Not until Mom change the subject and turn to my sister who is busy refilling her plate with foods.
"By the way, South. How's your exam?" she asked softly. May distansya pa rin sa relasyon nila kaya sa t'wing kakausapin siya ni Mommy ay sinisigurado niyang hindi maiinis sakanya si South. Knowing my sister, maiksi ang pasensya niya.
"Fine," South answered without looking at her. Bahagya itong tumigil, bumaling ng kaonti ang ulo niya na tila may naalala.
Mom swallowed, I knew the look on her face. I could see the war in her eyes, worried if she said something to offend my sister.
"Mahirap ang mga tanong pero kahit ganoon sinubukan kong sagutin ang mga iyon," she held her spoon in the air and look at Mom and Dad. "May 15 questions pala akong hinulaan. Hindi sapat ang isang oras ko. Finish or not finish past the paper is unfair" she said like it was a crisis.
Dad nod his head in understanding. "I should execute a law about extending the time for students who doesn't finish their exams yet."
My sister smile at him, Dad softened and wink at Mom who chuckled at his reaction.
"Any plans for College?" he asked.
Nilapag ni South ang kubyertos sa plato at binigay kay Daddy ang buong atensyon. "Susubok ako sa military."
Kaagad nangunot ang noo ko. "Are you sure? Why military?" I asked. Alam kong adventure ang hanap ni South pero kung sa tingin niya ay basta-basta ang pagpasok sa militar ay nagkakamali siya. I think I need to talk to her alone. Kailangan ko siyang i-guide sa pagpili ng career.
"Why not? I want to fight for my country" sagot niya na parang pagtawid lang ng kalsada ang usapan.
"Aww I am so touch, baka tayuan kita ng rebolto diyan," I rolled my eyes heavenwards. "But think it throughly South. Ang pagpili ng career ay hindi lang dahil sa gusto mo lang. It must come to your heart and make sure it makes you happy."
"I am happy about it" she abruptly said.
"Your sister is right, South. Pag-isipan mo muna ng mabuti" Mom smiled at her.
Kibit balikat lang ang sinagot ni South sakanya. Hindi naman iyon mukhang bastos kaya hindi na ako nagkomento.
"Alright. Just let me know if you need some help" sabi ni Daddy sakanya. Tumango lang si South bago pinagpatuloy ang pagkain. Sunod namang bumaling si Daddy kay East at West. "How about you boys? Any plans?"
Napansin ko kaagad ang pagsikuhan ng dalawa. They looked at each other and cleared their throat.
"Since Ate South is entering military, I want to let anyone know that I want to be part of CIA" sabi ni West.
"Gusto ko namang maging Ninja" East followed.
Dad arc his brow. "I'm fine with CIA but East, we'll talk about that later."
East suddenly paled, clearing his throat he spoke, "Tama si North, pag-iisipan ko muna Dad."
Dad nod his head and smile. "Sure," he then turn to Gyro who is busy playing the playing the sushi on his plate. "How about my baby? Any plans?"
The little kid look up at him. His cheeks were big and round as his mouth were full of foods. He swallowed his foods and Mom help him drink his water. Nang matapos ay tumingin muli siya kay Daddy.
"I haven't think about it yet. Since I am still three going to four years old, I wanted to focus on my studies first, along the way I might think which career I wanted to take in the future" he answered like a matured man.
Dad smiled proudly and messed his hair. "Alright, no pressure for you kiddo."
**
Dad's words linger in my head after our dinner, I was debating with myself if I should follow him or just be numb. I don't have the courage to go and speak to him, pinangungunahan ako ng takot at kaba.
Sitting in a high stool chair in a bar, I drank down my vodka. People were dancing behind me but I pay no attention to them as I signaled the bartender to serve me another glass. He didn't disappoint me, he wink as he gave me another glass. I gave him a seductive smile while licking my lips. Medyo tinatamaan na ako ng alak ngunit hindi pa ako tuluyang nawawala sa katinuan. Malakas ang tolerance ko sa alak kaya kahit tatlong bote pa ng vodka ang inumin ko ay hindi pa ako matutumba.
The bartender went to serve the other customers while I took my glass and drank down the content, the familiar burn and bitterness crept in my throat. Couching hardly, I noticed someone sat beside my stool.
"Tequila please." His voice were dark and commanding.
The bartender immediately followed after swallowing, placing the alcohol in front of him he averted his gaze when the man beside me gave him a look. Kaagad siyang lumipat sa kabilang pwesto ng island bar at hinarap ang ibang customer.
Out of curiosity, I glance at the man beside me. He is wearing a three piece suit, he looked like a runaway groom. He noticed me looking at him, turning his head on my side, he gave me a cocky grin.
"Hi gorgeous."
I couldn't help myself but to study his face. Brown mysterious eyes beneath his long lashes, pointed nose, well-structured jaw line, high cheekbone and plump wet lips. He is handsome, gorgeous rather. Kung hindi ko lang siguro nakilala si Noah at Vape, baka i-de-date ko kaagad ito.
"Hello. Are you here because you're broken or you just want to have some night fuck?" I asked directly feeling a bit courage because of the alcohol.
He raised his brow, amusement dance on his eyes and a wolfish grin playing on his lips. Turning his body to give me his full attention, he sipped on his glass as he eyed me like I was his favorite meat.
"Hmm broken is understatement but a good fuck? Not my plan but we'll see" nakakalokong aniya nang hindi hinihiwalay ang tingin sa akin.
I grimaced. "Just like what I expect, boys just want to have fuck. Kunwari ka pa pero ang totoo iyon ang dahilan kung bakit ka nandito" I snarled.
His brow raised higher at my statement. "I assume you're here to fuck someone too, then?"
"Excuse me! Hindi 'no!" depensa ko. Napataas ang tono ko kaya mas lalo siyang natuwa.
"See? Defensive."
I fold my arms over my chest and face him with so much bitterness on my voice.
"I am not! I am just here to forget someone!" To forget Vape, I wanted to add but I choose to keep it myself.
He stared at me for long until it was him who broke the intense gaze. "I noticed. Mukha kang matino pero malungkot ang mga mata mo. Care to tell? You see, sometimes talking to stranger helps you lighten the heavy feeling inside your chest" he smiled, a friendly smile.
I stare at him with doubt. He saw my reaction but stay quiet. Mukha naman siyang matino but I could still not trust him. Pero kahit hindi ako sigurado kong mapapagkatiwalaan siya, natagpuan ko nalang ang sarili na nagkwe-kwento sakanya. I told him everything, of course I keep the names private.
Tatlo, apat na shot na ang nainom ko samantalang limang tequila naman sakanya. The longer I talk to him, the pain lessen. Tama ang sinabi niya, talking to strangers somehow help you. And I was too surprised to see myself laughing at him as I tell him my complicated love story.
"He's a dick! Seriously, wala siyang kwentang lalaki!" I shouted making some people turn to me but I don't care. I raised my almost empty glass in the air and wiggled my hips.
The stanger beside me chuckled at my drunk behavior. "Yeah!" he tossed his glass in the air too.
"By the way," I turn to him while grinning widely. Nagiging dalawa na ang paningin ko pero alam ko pa sa sarili na nasa katinuan pa ako. "What's your story? Why are you here?" I asked.
He drank down his alcohol and grin at me. Suminok siya bago nagsalita. Medyo lasing na rin ito. "Well, to make the story short, I was an asshole."
"Sure you are" I giggled.
He chuckled and asked the bartender for more drinks, sighing deeply he turn to give me a bitter smile.
"I ruined my life. I ruined my friends trust. I ruined everything," he started. "I was now living a life with full of guilt and regrets. Power blinded me. Akala ko kapag makapangyarihan ka magiging masaya ka pero hindi pala. So you see, I was a traitor to my organization and everyone knew that so everyone hates me now."
I blinked three times at him. Ramdam ko ang sinseridad at lungkot sa boses niya. "Wow, that's too deep" I chuckled without a humour.
He nod and tossed his glass on me. "Yeah."
"Well then, I guess we both have to move on from these pain. Pain ruining our lives, I just realized that life was too short to spend it feeling the guilt and sadness. I guess it's time to let go and be happy!" I said smiling widely.
He chuckled, the amusement was evident on his face. "Are you saying that you are ready to move on and let go the man you love?"
Saglit akong natahimik bago tumango. Hinawakan ko ang bandang dibdib kung nasaan ang puso at ngumiti sakanya.
"Yeah!" I raised my glass. "For moving on?"
He smirked and tossed his glass on mine. "For moving on."
I swallowed the bittersweet taste of alcohol. Groaning loudly, I tossed my glass on the table and stood up swaying my hips to the beat. People around me gone wild, the dance floor was crowded and I feel like I wanted to be part of them.
"Wanna dance?" tanong ko sa kasama ko.
He grinned as he watched me sway in front of him. "Sure." He stood up, towering me he snake his arm on my waist and led me to the dance floor.
"Whoa! Careful."
I giggled when I almost stumbled. Buti nalang hawak niya ako.
"Yohoo!"
We danced like a mad person. I was swaying my hips and tilting my heads sideways as he grind himself at me. Giggling at his clinginess I wrapped my arms around his neck while he pulled me on his body. The music was crazy, the people around us were dancing crazily too while my partner and I only care about each other.
My head is spinning but I couldn't find myself to stop, instead I grind more myself to him. His hands stayed on my waist, inaamin ko na medyo dismayado ako inaasahan ko na pagsasamantalahan niya ang pagkakataon para matyiansingan ako pero nanatili siyang disiplinado. He is gentle and I could feel his respect even If I was being aggressive at him. Ako na ang gumagawa ng first move pero hindi pa rin siya gumagalaw. My hands travelled down at his massive and hard chest, slowly caressing the thick fabric of his suit, teasing him.
He leaned closer until I felt his hot breath on my right ear. "I know what you are doing, sweetheart" he whispered. His deep husky voice sent shiver down my spine.
Smirking, I looked up at him only to see the amusement on his eyes. "And you're gonna waste the opportunity?" I cocked my eyebrow.
"Sorry to disappoint you but you're not my type" he said without hesitation.
Imbes na mainis ay mas lalo lang lumaki ang ngisi ko. I traced his cheek using my index finger. Staring at his eyes, he smiled at me.
"What's your name again Mr. Nice guy?"
Lalong lumaki ang ngiti niya.
"Lachlan."
Bumungisngis ako. "Hmm sounds sexy. I'm North by the way."
"I know. South's sister."
Nangunot ang noo ko ngunit nandoon pa rin ang ngiti ko. "How did you know her?"
His smile disappeared. The gentleness on his eyes turn darker making me stop from swaying and took a one step back from him. I suddenly felt like I was in danger and he is a danger itself. The beating of my heart were too loud, it's screaming for fear.
"I know her because I hate her."
Humakbang siya papalapit sa akin. Umatras naman ako. No one noticed my fear since everyone around us only care about their dance. Wala akong matatakbuhan, walang pwedeng tumulong sa akin.
"You don't know how much I loath her as well as your mother" he said as he keeps on walking towards me.
Patuloy naman ako sa pag-atras. Nawala na ang pagkalasing ko, imbes na hilo ang nararamdaman ay kaba at takot na. I looked around only to see the men in black surrounding the corners. They were all watching me, hunting me with their devious look. Swallowing hard, I return my gaze to Lachlan who is now towering over me.
"W-who are you? Anong kailangan mo sa akin?" nauutal kong tanong.
He traced his finger on my cheek and I flinched. He held my jaw still so I could look at him in the eyes.
"I don't want you but I'll be needing you" aniya bago may kinuhang panyo sa bulsa. Bago pa man ako makapagprotesta ay tinapat na ito sa ilong ko.
My vision immediately spin when the chemical hits my nostrils. My knees weakened, vision darkening and before I could lost my consciousness an arm wrapped my waist.
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PSALM CRANE's POV
Matao sa Canteen dahil lunch break ng mga estudyante. Kasama ang magkapatid na Sullivan, Ajax, Cain, Ace, Kier at Chase ay nakaupo kami sa dating pwesto namin dito. Si Noah at Gab ay pinatawag ng Teacher, si Peter naman ay nasa Laboratory pa, hindi pa kasi tapos ang ginagawa niyang experiment sa utot ni Noah. Naniniwala kasi siyang nakakagamot ang utot ni Kaps sa cancer. Samantalang si Genesis naman ay nasa detention room dahil sa ginawa niyang pagsapak kanina sa estudyanteng lalaki na lumapit kay South para makipagkilala at si South naman ay nag cutting class pagkatapos ng nangyari.
"Wala pa akong exact plan pero naisip ko ng i-pursue ang pagiging artista. Kayo?"
Tahimik lang ako habang nakikinig sa usapan ng mga friends ko habang sumisipsip sa coke na nilibre ni Cain sa akin. Sinamahan ko kasi siya sa library kanina at pinangakuan niya akong ililibre niya kaya pumayag ako. Sa mga taong naghihirap na katulad ko ay kailangang kumapit palagi sa libre para makasurvive.
"Don't know yet. My Mom is a Doctor while my Dad is a Businessman so I don't know which of them should I follow" kibit balikat na sagot ni Lance.
"Pwede namang ikaw nalang ang Doctor at si Travis naman ang Businessman" sahestyon ni Kier.
"Pag-iisipan namin pero kung ako ang tatanungin mas gusto ko maging Pulis" sabi ni Travis.
"Wow! Talaga?" nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Pero bakit gusto mong maging Pulis? Gusto mong manghuli ng bad guys?" tanong ko.
Umiling siya. "Hindi. Gusto kong magpalaki ng tiyan."
Napangiwi ang mga friends ko at hindi nalang nagkomento sa pangarap ni Travis. Nanatili naman ang paghanga ko sakanya.
"I honestly don't know yet what to pursue. Ikaw Psalm meron na ba?" tanong ni Ajax sa akin.
Ang totoo matagal ko ng napag-isipan ang bagay na iyan. Matagal na akong nakapagdesisyon kaya naman hindi na mahirap sa akin sagutin ang tanong tungkol sa ganiyan.
Tumango ako. "Gusto kong maging Teacher."
Nanlaki ang mga mata nila. "Wow! Bakit naman? Gusto mong magturo sa mga students?"
Tumango ako. "Gusto kong i-share sa lahat ang knowledge ko!" pinakita ko sakanila ang malilinis kong ngipin. Pangarap ko talagang maging Guro hindi lang dahil sa gusto kong magturo kundi gusto kong tulungan ang mga bata na ma-achieve ang mga dreams nila.
"Susuportahan kita, Psalm." Tinapik ako sa balikat ni Chase.
"Talaga? Paano?"
"Magiging Principal ako."
Lumaki ang ngiti ko bago ito niyakap habang naluluha. "Thank you Chase."
Habang nagyayakapan kami ay biglang tumunog ang malakas na alarm sa school. Ang mga schoolmates namin ay kaagad lumabas ng Canteen kahit Hindi pa tapos sa mga kinakain. Sa pagmamadali ng mga ito ay hindi maiwasang may masaktan sa tulakan.
"Anong nangyayari?" naguguluhang tanong ni Ace.
Wala kaming idea kung ano ang nangyayari, kita ang kaguluhan at pangamba sa mukha ng mga kasama ko lalo na ng marinig ng lahat ang malakas na sigawan sa labas ng Canteen.
"Hala! Ano 'yon?" Nagsimula akong kabahan kaya humawak ako kay Chase.
"I thinks it's a fire alarm" sabi ni Kier.
"Lumabas na tayo!"
Mabigat man sa loob na iwan ko ang coke na hindi ko pa ubos ay napilitan akong tumayo at sumunod sakanila. "Paano si Gab at Noah?" Nangako kasi silang babalik kaagad at hintayin namin sila.
"Baka nasa labas na rin, hanapin nalang natin!" si Ace and sumagot kaya tumango ako kahit hindi ako gaanong panatag.
Sinundan namin ang mga estudyante palabas. Napansin ko na hindi lang ang mga nasa Canteen ang nagtatakbuhan kundi ang mga estudyante din na nasa loob pa ng building. Maging ang mga Teachers at staff ng school ay hindi rin magkandamayaw sa pagtakbo habang inaalalayan ang mga students palabas.
"Sandali! Anong nangyayari?" Pinigilan ni Cain ang isang babaeng tumakbo sa harapan namin.
Hingal na hingal ito at halata ang takot sa mukha. "N-nasusunog ang Laboratory! May nagkalat na bomba rin sa paligid!" aniya bago tumakbo ulit papalayo.
"What? How did that happen?" Nagkatinginan ang mga kaibigan ko.
Sunog sa Laboratory. Sandali.
"Si Peter..." Kusang humakbang ang mga paa ko paatras. Dumagundong ng malakas ang dibdib ko, pinaghalong takot, kaba at pag-aalala ang bumalot sa akin.
"Psalm saan ka pupunta?" sigaw ng mga kaibigan ko nang tumakbo ako sa corridor papunta sa kinaroroonan ni Peter.
"Psalm!"
Maingay ang paligid dahil sa sigawan ng mga tao pero dinig ko pa rin ang pagtawag ng mga kaibigan ko sa akin. Gusto kong huminto pero ayaw ng katawan ko. Nag-aalala ako ng lubos kay Peter. Mabilis ang takbo ko kahit marami akong nakakasalubong na tao, ayoko man silang banggain pero kailangan ko iyong gawin para makadaan.
"Psalm wait!"
Lumingon ako para makita si Lance at Ace na sumusunod. Napahinto ako hindi dahil sakanila kundi dahil napansin ko ang apat na bintana sa building ng school na may makapal na usok. Ganoon nalang ang pagsigaw ng lahat ng biglang sumabog ang mga bintana at kita ang pagliyab ng apoy sa loob nito.
Hindi..
"Psalm! Let's go!" Hindi ko napansin na nakalapit na si Lance at Ace. Hinawakan nila ako sa braso at hinila paalis ngunit kusang napako ang mga paa ko kaya hindi nila ako matangay.
"Si Peter.. n-nandoon si Peter.." sabi ko.
"It's dangerous! Let's go!"
Umiling ako kasabay ng paghikbi. "H-hindi, hindi ko pwedeng iwan si Peter.." Tumakbo ulit ako kaya wala silang nagawa kundi ang sumunod sa akin.
Marami pa ring estudyante ang nakakasalubong ko kaya medyo nahirapan ako sa pagpasok sa loob.
"Psalm!" Hinila ako ni Lance sa gilid bago pa ako mapaupo at maapakapakan ng mga tao. "Umalis na tayo!"
Pinunasan ko ang luha ko bago umiling. "H-hindi pwede Lance, nandoon si Peter. Kailangan natin siyang iligtas!" umiiyak kong saad.
"Pero malaki na ang apoy sa Laboratory! Delikado kapag---"
Malakas na pagsabog ang yumanig sa buong building. Napadapa kami sa sahig, nauntog ako sa matigas na sahig kasabay ng tila may tumalsik sa likuran ko kaya napasubsob ako ng malaks. Nakarinig ako ng malakas na hiyaw sa sakit at mga pag-ubo. Minulat ko ang mga mata ngunit malabo ang nakikita ko kaya pumikit muli ako at muling nagmulat. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag ng maayos na ang paningin ko. Ginalaw ko ang mga kamay, nakakaramdam ako ng hapdi sa likod ko ngunit hindi ito ang umagaw sa attention ko. Tumingin ako sa paligid para masaksihan ang makapal na usok na bumalot sa paligid, hindi nagtagal ay lumilinaw na rin at nakita ko ang mga tao na wala ng malay na nakahandusay sa sahig. Pagtaas ko ng paningin ay nakita ko ang ilang bahagi ng kisame na bumagsak sa mga tao.
May iilan akong nakikitang gumagalaw ngunit hindi na tuluyang makatayo. Ang kaninang maingay na paligid ay nababalot na ng katahimikan at tanging mahihinang daing, iyak at paghingi ng tulong ang naririnig ko. Maliwanag kanina ngunit ngayon ay nababalot na kami ng kadiliman.
Hinila ko ang mga kamay para itukod sa sahig nang sa ganoon ay makabangon ako pero napadaing lang ako ng maramdaman na may mabigat na nakadagan sa likod ko. Lumingon ako at nakita ang isang makapal na kahoy, tinulak ko iyon upang matanggal ngunit ang kirot ay nanatili pa rin sa likod ko.
Naalala ko bigla ang mga kaibigan ko. Lumingon ako sa paligid at nakita si Lance at Ace na walang malay. Nahirapan akong tumayo kaya gumapang ako gamit ang lakas na meron ako papalapit sakanila.
"Lance.." Niyugyog ko si Lance ngunit wala akong natanggap na galaw. "Ace!" Ganoon din ang ginawa ko sa isa at parehas na sitwasyon ang nangyari. Nagsimulang tumulo ang mga luha ko pero hindi pa rin ako tumigil sa paggising sakanila. "Lance gising! Ace!"
Biglang umubo si Lance kaya mabilis ko itong tinulungang makaupo. Napansin ko kaagad ang mga galos niya sa gilid ng mukha, dumudugo rin kanang braso nito. Sinipat ko ang sugat niya at nakitang hindi ito gaanong kalaki.
"O-okay ka lang?" umiiyak kong tanong.
Tumango siya bago tumingin sa paligid. Agad itong napatulala at napasinghap nang makita ang masaklap na nangyari.
"Fuck.. what the hell happened?"
"Lance natatakot na ako.." humikbi ako. Hindi pa ako kailanman nakaranas ng ganito. Para akong binabangungot, tanging takot ang nararamdaman ko.
Tumingin siya sa akin at agad niyakap. Nararamdaman ko ang panginginig niya maging ang mahihina nitong mura.
"We'll get out of here" bulong niya kaya tumango ako.
"Si Ace.."
Sabay naming ginising si Ace. Dinampi ni Lance and dalawang daliri sa gilid ng leeg niya, hindi ko alam ang ibig sabihin niyon pero nakampante ako nang makita na parang nakahinga siya ng maluwag.
"Ace wake up!" Tinapik niya ito sa pisngi at ilang sandali lang ay unti-unti ng nagmulat si Ace.
"Ace!" Hindi ko maiwasang yakapin siya sa tuwa.
Salamat at ligtas siya.
"Are you okay? Can you stand?" tanong ni Lance.
Tumango ito ngunit halatang nanghihina kaya pinagtulungan namin siyang itayo ni Lance.
"Fuck.. I can't feel my right leg!" reklamo ni Ace.
"It's okay, we'll support you."
Pinagitnaan namin ni Lance si Ace habang ang magkabilang braso niya ay nasa balikat namin. Napansin ko ang pagnganga niya nang makita ang paligid.
"What the hell happened?"
Pareho kaming napayuko ni Lance. Hangga't maaari ay ayoko sanang tignan ang nasa paligid ngunit hindi ko maiwasan. Ang daming estudyante, mga sugatan sila at walang malay. Tila pinisa ang dibdib ko sa kirot na nararamdaman, ang bigat-bigat sa pakiramdam. Kanina naman okay ang lahat, ano ang nangyari?
"We don't know but we must get out of here. The building will gonna collapse anytime" sabi ni Lance habang tumitingin sa mga pader.
Tama ang sinabi niya. Unti-unti na ring nahuhulog ang ilang parte ng kisame kaya kapag hindi pa kami umalis ay tiyak na madadaganan kami.
"P-paano sila?" pumiyok ang boses ko nang tignan ko ng isa pang beses ang mga kapwa ko estudyante.
Kinagat ni Lance ang ibabang labi. Nakayuko man ay kita ko ang pagtulo ng mga luha niya.
"We will call a help" aniya ngunit alam kong walang kasiguraduhang maililigtas ang iba.
Tumango nalang kami bago umalis sa lugar ng may pagmamadali. Nang nasa open area na kami ay hindi ko maiwasang mapalingon sa building. Bigla kong naalala si Peter, Noah, Gab at Genesis. Nasa loob pa sila.
"Sina kaps.. " Hindi ko na napigilan at napaupo na ako sa sahig at napahagulgul. Hinawakan ko ang parteng dibdib kong nasaan ang kumikirot kong puso. Agad akong dinaluhan ni Lance at Ace, niyakap nila ako pero hindi nila naibsan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. "I-iligtas natin sila! Hindi sila p-pwedeng nasa loob!"
Umiwas sila ng tingin. Katulad ko, nandoon and sakit at lungkot sa mukha nila. Si Lance tahimik na umiyak habang sinabayan naman ako sa paghagulgol ni Ace.
"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. "
Si Peter nasa Laboratory siya. Doon ang sunog kanina tapos malapit sa Faculty ang kinaroroonan namin ng mangyari ang pagsabog. Si Genesis, okay kaya siya? Sana okay sila. Ayokong mag-isip, hindi ko tanggap ang sinasabi ng utak ko. Hindi pwede.
Okay lang sila. Okay lang sila 'di ba? Hindi pwedeng mawala si Peter, tagaluto na namin siya kaya hindi ko kaya hindi ako makakain kapag nawala siya. Si Gab, kaibigan ko siya. Mabait siya sa aming lahat at palagi akong nililibre kaya kailangan ko siya. Si Noah, hindi pwedeng mawala ang panganay namin, siya ang the best na Kuya slash Tatay slash Nanay namin. All around siya sa pag-aalaga sa amin kaya hindi ko kakayanin kapag nawala siya sa tabi ko at si Genesis, kahit masungit iyon at kahit palagi akong pinapahirapan sa training namin ay mahal ko pa rin siya. Love na love niya kami, siya ang tagapagtanggol ko kaya mahalaga siya ng sobra sa akin.
"Psalm!"
Umalis ako sa pagkakayakap ng mga kaibigan ko at lumingon sa tumawag sa akin. Napatayo ako kaagad ng makita si Noah at Gab na tumatakbo papalapit sa amin.
"Noah?"
Saglit siyang tumigil at tinitigan ako bago muling tumakbo. Sinalubong ko siya at mahigpit na niyakap, hindi ko maiwasang napahagulgul sa tuwa ng mahawakan ko siya.
"Noah! Huhuhu!"
Hinawakan niya ang magkabilang mukha ko para tignan ako ng maayos. Kahit nanlalabo ang mga mata sa luha ay nakita ko pa rin ang pagkunot ng makinis niyang noo at ang pagbalatay ng pag-aalala sa mga mata niya.
"Okay ka lang kaps? Nasaktan ka ba?"
Mas lalo akong napaiyak. Niyakap niya muli ako, hinagod niya ang likod ko habang pinapatahan.
"N-nagalala ako ng sobra. Akala ko n-nawala ka na sa akin" hagulgul ko.
"Okay lang ako, kami ang unang nakaaalam sa sunog kaya nakalabas kami kaagad" aniya.
Humiwalay ako agad sakanya. "Si P-peter kaps nasa Laboratory siya.."
Tumingin si Noah kay Gab na yakap-yakap din ang dalawang kaibigan. Kita ko ang pag-iyak niya at pag-aalala sakanila. Binalik ni kaps ang tingin sa akin bago ngumiti.
"Okay lang si Peter, tapos na siya sa experiment niya bago nangyari ang sunog. Magkasama sila ni Genesis ngayon" paliwanag niya.
Kaagad nagliwanag ang mukha ko. Tila may humugot sa nakadagan sa dibdib ko kaya nakakahinga na ako ng maluwag.
"T-talaga?"
Tumango siya bago pinunasan ang magkabilang pisngi ko. "H'wag ka ng mag-alala, okay? Maayos ang lahat" ngumiti siya kaya hindi ko na rin maiwasang mapangiti. "Kailangan na nating umalis delikado dito."
Tumingin ako sa mga kaibigan namin bago tumango. Inalalayan ni Lance at Gab si Ace habang hindi naman ako makabitaw kay Noah. Natatakot ako na baka kapag hindi ko siya hawak ay mawala siya sa akin. Natatakot ako.
Sinabi ni Gab na hindi lang ang Laboratory ang nasunog, maging ang Library at ilang classrooms. May bomba na sumabog, iyon ang dahilan kung bakit madaming estudyante ang nasaktan. Hindi nila alam kung paano nangyari ang sunog at saan talaga nagsimula at mas lalong walang nakakaalam kung bakit may bomba sa loob ng school namin.
Natatakot ako para sa lahat, muntikan ng mawala sa akin ang mga kapatid ko kaya mas nangangamba lalo ako ngayon sa mga nangyayari. Malaking pasasalamat ko nalang na naging ligtas sila dahil hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko kapag nawala sila sa akin.
Tumakbo ako ng makita ko si Peter at Genesis kasama ang mga ibang kaibigan namin na naghihintay sa labas ng school. Niyakap ko kaagad sila at muli na namang napaiyak, hindi na sa sakit kundi sa tuwa.
"Okay ka lang, Psalm?"
Tumango ako kahit naiiyak pa rin. Suot pa ni Peter ang Laboratory gown niya.
"What happened to you?" tanong ni Genesis habang sinisipat ako ng tingin.
Nagkamot ako sa batok kasi nakita ko ang nakakatakot niyang mga mata na parang handang sagurin ang nanakit sa akin.
"Nadapa ako kaps nagkagulo kasi kanina" palusot ko. Kapag sinabi kong kagagawan ito ng bombang sumabog ay baka hamunin niya ng labanan ang bomba. Si Genesis ang tipo ng tao na gagawin ang impossible para sa'yo. Nakakatouch pero nakakatakot madalas. Hindi ko na rin binanggit na masakit ang likod ko dahil sa kahoy na tumama sa akin dahil mag-aalala lang sila.
"Tss, let's go. We must go to Isaiah's school" sabi niya bago naglakad papunta sa Van namin.
Bumaling ako sa mga kaibigan namin na pumunta na rin sa mga sasakyan. May mga pulis, bombero at mga ambulansya na ang dumating kaya medyo napangiti ako. Magiging okay na ang lahat.
"Kaps, bakit ka tumigil?"
Dinig kong tanong ni Peter kaya binalik ko ang tingin kay Genesis na nakahinto sa paglakad. Nakatingin siya sa sasakyan namin kaya takang tinignan din namin iyon.
"Bakit kaps? Gusto mo bang dumaan tayo sa carwash para malinis ang sasakyan?" tanong ko. Medyo maputik at maalikabok na kasi ang Van namin. Hindi namin afford ang carwash kaya minsan ang pinagbabanlawan ng mga labang damit namin ay ang ginagamit namin ni Noah sa paglinis sa sasakyan. Nasabi ko lang ang carwash kasi bigatin si Genesis. Siya ang magbabayad nito.
Walang emosyon ang mukha ni kaps kaya mahirap sabihin ang iniisip niya. Hmm, siguro naiwan niya ang wallet kaya wala siyang pang carwash, impossible kasing wala siyang pera dahil nakita ko ang kulay violet na mga papel sa wallet niya. Binigyan din siya ni Mommy Tatiana ng 250 pesos bago ito bumalik sa Greece noong nakaraan. Babalik din daw siya kaagad kapag naayos na ang problema niya sa bansa niya. Pero ano kaya ang iniisip ni Kaps? Possible namang ayaw niya sa Van namin e ginagamit naman niya ito dati noong wala pa ang kotse niya.
"What's our plate number again?" tanong ni Genesis.
"CRNE69.. " si Noah ang sumagot.
Biglang nagbago ang reaksyon ni Noah, katulad ni Genesis naging seryoso rin ito habang nagtitiim bagang.
"Bakit naiba na 'yong plate number natin? Naging XZXZXZ na" takang sabi ko nang makita na iba na ang letter ng placard namin.
"Naku mukhang nabiktima tayo ng baklas-lipat-gang. Uso 'yon ngayon kaps" sabi ni Peter.
Badtrip naman. Pwede naman 'yong gulong ang palitan iyong plate number pa namin. Pinasadya pa kasi 'yon ni Dada e.
"Iyan din ang sasakyan na gamit natin kahapon" sabi ni Noah.
"Bakit kaps bawal ba kapag mali ang plate number?" tanong ko.
Tumango si Genesis bago bumaling kay Noah. "We'll use my car."
Simpleng tango lang ang sinagot ni kaps habang nanatili pa ring seryoso. Ano kaya ang iniisip ni Noah?
Nag-ring ang cellphone ni Peter kaya agad niya itong sinagot ng ipakita niyang si Isaiah ang tumatawag.
"Bakit kaps?" sagot niya.
Tumingin ako sa paligid, maraming estudyanteng nakakalat maging mga pulis at may nakita pa akong mga pulis' dogs na gumagala sa paligid na parang may sinusundang amoy. Habang iniikot ko ang paningin ay napansin ko ang isang kaklase namin na nasa tabi ng isang sasakyan habang nakatingin sa amin.
Kaagad ko siyang kinawayan at nginitian. Ngayon ko lang ulit siya nakita. Matagal kasi siyang hindi pumapasok.
"Hi Swiss!"
Ngumiti siya ng malaki bago ako kinindatan. Tinuro niya ng sabay sa akin ang hinlalaki at hintuturo niya habang nakatiklop ang tatlo pa niyang daliri. Para siyang bumabaril sa direksyon ko ngunit gamit ang kamay. Kumindat ulit siya bago tumalikod at nawala sa kalagitnaan ng ibang mga estudyante.
Ha? Ano raw 'yon?
"Si Isaiah.."
Binalik ko ang tingin kay Peter. Tulala ito habang nakatingin sa amin.
"Nasa klase siya at tinawagan ako para itanong kung bakit ang aga natin siyang sunduin. Sabi niya, mamaya pa siya uuwi kaya tanggalin muna natin ang sasakyan sa tapat ng school nila kasi---" hindi natapos ni Peter ang sinasabi ng biglang magmura si Genesis.
"Fuck! He's in danger!"
Maaga namin siyang sinundo? Pero nandito pa kami! Tapos paano haharang ang sasakyan namin sa school niya e nandito pa ang Van namin---sandali, iba pala ang plate number namin. Hala!
"Let's go. Get your guns too!" utos ni Genesis.
"Kaps hindi kami marunong bumaril atsaka sinong babarilin namin?" tanong ko habang sinusundan namin siya pabalik sa parking lot ng school.
"Anyone who tries to hurt you."
~~
#SorryForWaiting