2 Months Later
It's been 2 dreadfully long months, full of ups and downs. I've screamed. I've smiled. I've cried. I've rejoiced. I've done it all over these 2 months.
Kenzie and I hang out pretty much everyday. We've become really close after the night at the club. It's one secret of mine that she actually knows. But there's still big secrets about me she doesn't know.
One of those secrets being my life in Gettysburg, the way I get my money in that town. Speaking of money, I'm starting to run low on it because I haven't been to Gettysburg in 2 months. I actually really miss all my Gettysburg friends and the parties. But there's a big reason I haven't been going to Gettysburg.
And that big reason, that's also another secret I'm keeping from Kenzie, is Michael. We aren't technically together, but every minute we have when Kenzie isn't around, we spend it together. We kiss, we cuddle, we laugh. But we also have bad days where we argue and we don't even want to be around each other. Today though, is not one of our bad days.
"I hope you don't miss me too much, Penny! I really wish you could come with me on my birthday cruise, but you know my parents are being annoying about it-"
"Kenzie, it's fine, seriously. Go have fun on your cruise. I will be fine by myself for a week." I assure her, trying to hold back how happy I really am.
"Yeah, I know you will. But remember, if you need anything, you can always call Michael." She reminds me, cautiously stepping forward. Abruptly, she reaches out and grabs my wrist, then yanks my body into her embrace.
"Ew, what the fuck? I said no hugs!" I exclaim, attempting to pry Kenzie's arms off me. After a few seconds of struggling, I give up with a sigh and wrap my arms around her, awkwardly patting her back. "Okay, let go now."
She finally pulls away and I can let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"Mackenzie, lets go!" Mr. Ore calls from their car where he and Mrs. Ore have been waiting this whole time.
"Okay, okay, I have to go!" Kenzie smiles brightly as she starts backing away. "I love you, Pen! Don't get into too much trouble while I'm gone!" She yells as she runs to the car, waving as she slips into the back seat.
I stand in the doorway, holding the door open, as I watch the car drive away. As soon as it's out of sight, I close the door and turn around, nearly colliding with Michael's bare chest. Clad in grey sweatpants, he looks delicious. I can help but let my eyes roam down his body, the same way they always do whenever I see him shirtless.
"Finally," He smirks as he steps forward, placing his hands on my hips and pulling me towards him, until our bodies are flush against each other's. I throw my arms around his neck, clasping my hands behind his head. "We're alone." He leans down and claims my lips with his.
"For a whole week." I murmur against his lips.
He coaxes my lips apart with his tongue before slipping it into my mouth. He tastes of mint and coffee as he explores every inch of my mouth. His tongue moves slowly against my own, teasingly mingling. I pull his bottom lip into my mouth, sucking on it, earning a appreciative groan from Michael. He starts pushing me, as he walks forward, until my back hits the door. My hands begin to move down his chest, feeling every dip and divot of his muscles, commiting his body to my memory.
I move my lips to his jaw, kissing along the stubble he hasn't shaved, and down his neck. I kiss up to the area right below his ear and suck on the skin there. Michael lets out a low groan as his grip on my hips tightens. I feel his erection press against my belly, causing a familiar ache to appear between my legs.
I move my hand further down his body, and palm his growing bulge through his sweatpants. His hips jerk involuntarily, pushing his erection more into my hand. I slip my hand into his boxers, and wrap my fingers around his length. His hips begin to rock as he starts to fuck my hand.
"I want you now, Michael." I whisper in his ear, feeling his dick twitch as I move my hand up and down his shaft.
Instantly, his body stills and he completely stiffens. He lets go of my hips and moves back, his body rigid. I let go of him and pull my hand out of his boxers slowly, as I look at him questioningly.
"Did I say something wrong..." My voice trails off as I stare at him in confusion.
He looks away from me as he tucks himself back into his boxers and fixes his sweatpants. I think back over what just happened, what I just said.
"I want you now, Michael."
And then it dawns on me.
Over the past two months, Michael and I still haven't had sex. Mainly because I haven't been ready and Michael has been so patient with me, which I'm greatful for. But now, I feel ready and I want Michael. The only problem is, everytime he and I are kissing and things start to heat up, he stops. If I moan, if I rock my hips against him, if my hand goes anywhere near his bulge, he stops everything and moves away from me. I haven't asked why, because I'm too scared of the answer. But today, I'm done being scared.
"You don't want to have sex with me, do you?" I ask the question thats been haunting me for weeks.
Michael's head snaps up, his eyes connecting with mine instantly as he raises an eyebrow at me.
"Is that what you think?" He answers my question with a question.
"Well, I think that you don't want me anymore. Two months ago, you wanted to rip my clothes off and now, I can't even touch your dick without you pulling away!" I yell as I stomp past him and into the living room.
"What?" He says incredously as he follows behind me. "You seriously think that I don't want you?"
"Yep," I remark, popping the 'p'. "That's the only explanation I can think of."
"Penelope, it's pretty obvious that I want you." He gestures downwards to the erection thats very obvious in his grey sweatpants.
"Then what's the problem?" I shout in frustration.
"Maybe because only a few months ago you didn't even want me to touch you! And because you just started kissing me again only a few weeks ago! I mean, for fuck's sake Penelope, just two months ago you were ra-" He stops himself before he finishes his sentence.
"Go on," I goad as I step forward towards him. "Say it."
"Penelope-"
"I said say it!" I scream as I push his chest, but he barely even flinches. I ball my fist and bang them against his chest. "Just say it, Michael! Tell me that I was raped as if I don't know!"
Michael grabs my wrists, stopping me from hitting his chest again, and pulls my body towards his so that our faces are only inches apart.
"I just want you to be ready, Penelope, and I don't think you are." He says somberly.
"You aren't the judge of that, I am." I rip my arms from his grasp angrily. "If I'm asking you to have sex, I think I'm pretty ready."
"Are you though?" He asks softly, placing a hand on the side of my face.
Am I ready?
Yes. No? I don't fucking know. I know that I want to be ready, because I really want Michael. But am I really ready to be naked in front of another man, to have his hands roam my body, to be vulnerable in front of another man? Am I truly ready for all of that?
"I want to be ready...for you." I tell him honestly, leaning into his touch. "I mean, you're not going to wait around forever for me to get my shit together-"
Michael's lips silence me as he kisses me firmly. I instantly melt into him as he kisses me feverishly and passionately. I moan into his lips when he tugs my bottom lip into his mouth.
He pulls away all too soon and looks into my eyes. There's an emotion swirling around in his beautiful blue eyes that I can't quite decipher before it quickly disappears.
"I will wait forever if that's what it takes for you to be fully ready." I can hear the sincerity in his voice when he says this.
Suddenly, my phone starts to ring, breaking us out of the trance we were in. I pull it out of my back pocket and look down at the name on the screen. Shock courses through my veins as I immediately turn away from Michael and answer the phone.
"Hello?"
"Penny," Alex breathes into the phone, sounding relieved. "It's so good to hear your voice."
"It's amazing to hear your voice too" is what I want to say, but Michael is definitely listening to me right now.
"Yeah, you too." I respond dryly. "Why'd you call?"
"Well, I haven't seen you around recently and..and I miss you." His voice sounds shaky and weird, as if he's nervous or something.
I scoff, "You don't miss me."
"Yes the fuck I do miss you." He claims.
"Whatever you say," I shake my head, disbelieving.
"You haven't been here in awhile. You must be gettin' low on money." He assumes. There's still something off about his tone, almost sounding desperate.
"Yeah, I am." I answer vaguely, still feeling Michael's gaze on my back.
"You should come to The Hive tonight then. There's a lot of people who need their fix. There's some freshmen, that don't know shit, who'd probably pay you more than usual costumers." His voice is almost frantic and it's starting to worry me.
"What's wrong with you? You sound...weird."
"What? Nothing's wrong." He responds almost instantly. He clears his throat before continuing. "I just miss you and I want you to come tonight to scam these little kids." He chuckles, but it just sounds forced.
Something is definitely wrong, I can feel it. Everything about Alex's tone and voice is weird, almost panicked. He's never been good at hiding his emotions when it comes to me and now isn't any different. All of this just means that I have to go to The Hive tonight.
"Okay, I'll do that. Love you too, bye Kenzie." I plaster a fake smile on my face as I hang up and turn back around to face Michael.
"That was Mackenzie?" He asks, pointing at my phone.
"Yep." I nod as I lie. I hate having to lie to Michael, but he can't know that I'm going to The Hive. He still doesn't know that I sell drugs to pay the bills and he can never know. "Actually, she wants me to FaceTime her later tonight so I'm going to stay here instead of going to your place."
"Why does she want you to call her?" He inquires curiously.
"I don't know, Michael." I snap, the pressure of lying starting to show. I take a deep breath to compose myself before adding, "Probably just some lame girl shit. Nothing you'd be interested in." I say dismissively.
"Okay..." He drawls, confusion clear on his face. His eyes flicker between mine, probably trying to find answers there. "Seems like you want me to leave now."
I really don't.
"Yeah, you probably should. I need...some time." I look away, knowing my eyes will show that I'm lying.
"Okay," Michael speaks after a few moments of silence. He grabs his shirt off the couch and slips it over his head. "I'll go." Out of the corner of my eye, I see him close the distance between us in one stride. He reaches up, grabbing my face gently so that I look him in the eyes. "But I meant what I said about waiting for you, angel. I'd wait an eternity for you."
And with that, he kisses me before stepping around me and leaving the house.
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Kisses,
-K