My eyes slightly burned when I opened them the next morning, tired from all the crying I did the night before. I sat up on the bed and rubbed my eyes as the smell of breakfast made its way into my room.
I was nervous to go downstairs but I knew I couldn't stay in my room all day. Dad made it clear he wanted to talk and I had hockey in a couple hours.
The family was already downstairs by the time I got there. Josh gave me an impassive look while Ava looked angry as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Good morning, Elijah," Dad called out as he stood in front of the stove. "You're just in time for breakfast."
I apprehensively sit down at the table with my siblings, across from Ava and the death glare she was sending me.
"Yes Ava?" I asked in a wary tone.
"I'm mad at you," she replied.
"Sorry," I muttered as Dad put a plate full of food down in front of me.
"Eat up," he said with a smile. "You need all the energy you can get for hockey today."
It surprised me that his mood had changed so drastically from the night before, but I realized I shouldn't be all that surprised. He had always been good at managing his emotions.
"How are you feeling?" Mindy asked as she sat down beside me.
I shrugged. "Fine."
She gave me a knowing look but didn't press any further. That was one of the things I loved about Mindy. She was caring but she knew when to press further and when not to.
Dad sat down across from me and whispered something to Ava which caused her to uncross her arms and start eating. He smiled over at me to which I reluctantly returned. We finished eating breakfast with small talk that I didn't partake in.
"We have to get going," Josh told our parents.
"Is it that time already?" Dad asked, turning around to look at the clock before turning back to us. "Well you boys have fun."
After changing into more athletic clothing and grabbing my stuff, I met Josh out at the car after saying goodbye to the rest of the family.
I could tell he was itching to start a conversation with me as he backed out of the driveway and started toward the school. I had no idea what I would say to him, so I planned on keeping my mouth shut for as long as I could.
Of course, that didn't last very long.
"Elijah," Josh called out, clearing his throat.
"Hm?"
"I wanted to uh– I want to apologize," he stammered. "For what I said last night."
I sighed, leaning my head on the cool window.
"It's fine Josh."
"It was stupid and I was just upset–"
"Josh, seriously," I cut him off. "It's fine. You were right anyway."
He let out a heavy sigh. "No, I wasn't."
"Yes you were and I shouldn't have brought up Trevor," I told him. "You had every right to call me out on my bullshit."
"Elijah," Josh started, shaking his head. "I don't actually believe what I said about you."
"Well you should," I muttered, looking out the window.
"Stop that," he snapped.
"You don't need to apologize," I muttered. "And we don't need to talk about it."
Josh sat agitated in his seat for the rest of the ride to school while I enjoyed the silence. This definitely wasn't the time for Josh and I to have a heart to heart. I was too emotionally spent and he was feeling too guilty.
As soon as we got to the school I got out of the car and grabbed my things, heading inside ahead of Josh. Most of the team was already in the gym when I got there.
Since this was supposed to be a day for team building, we were going to be off ice which I hated. I would have much rather been on my skates, batting a puck around.
Of course, the first person I made eye contact with when I entered the room was Fox. We stared at each other for a few moments, an undetectable emotion in Fox's eyes, before he turned away.
So we were back to this.
Josh came into the gym soon after me and placed his things down next to mine, not saying anything.
Coach Silva and Merton came out of the office and Silva blew his whistle to have us gather around him.
"Thank you all for sparing your Saturday," Coach Silva started. "We have a strong team here, but there is something holding us back."
The team was silent.
"Ask me what's holding us back," Coach Silva demanded.
"What's holding us back?" everyone answered in unenthusiastic tones.
"I'm glad you asked," he said with a grin. "Teamwork! There are too many cliques within this team, not enough communication or trust. Teams don't work like that. We could have all the talent in the world but if we can't work as a team we have nothing."
"We have created some different team exercises that will require you to work together and communicate," Coach Merton explained. "Gaining these communication skills will help you with communication on the ice."
"First things first," Coach Silva said, looking around to each of us. "Trust falls."
I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Ellis," Coach Silva called out, causing everyone to look at me. "You look worried. Why?"
I shrugged, clearing my throat. "I don't wanna fall."
"See, there is no trust," Coach Silva announced. "Why don't you go first, Elijah?"
I let out a sigh but made my way over to the raised platform anyway while the coaches instructed everyone else to crowd around and get ready to catch me. This felt like the scene straight out of Mean Girls.
"Don't worry Ellis. I'll catch ya," Alex said in a teasing tone.
Once I was on the platform, I turned my back to the team and waited for more instruction. Coach Silva started counting down from three and once he was done, I fell backwards.
Luckily, the team caught me with ease and gently placed me back on my feet. My skin burned from where Fox has touched me. I didn't even have to look to know where he was. I knew how his touch felt.
"Good," Coach Silva praised. "Ridley, go next."
I watched at Fox strode up onto the platform. I hated myself for staring at the way his slender legs filled out his tight fitting athletic pants. I wasn't supposed to be pining after him.
Coach did his countdown again and Fox sent himself backwards, all of us catching him as he fell down into our arms. I looked down at him to see that his eyes were on me as we set him back on the ground.
"I'll go next if you guys promise not to drop me," Alex said, pulling my eyes away from Fox to look at him.
"We won't drop you," Ryan assured him with an eye roll.
Alex hurried his way up on the platform and barely waited for the countdown before throwing himself down into our arms.
"It was like you wanted to get dropped," Ian remarked with a scoff, shaking his head as he let go of Alex.
"Well, now I have more trust in you," Alex said with a shrug.
Eventually we had gone through everyone and surprisingly, no one ended up on the floor. I didn't know how much trust this would actually build within the team, but I was surprised that we hadn't dropped anyone.
"Next up we're doing an activity called the hole in space," Coach Silva announced. "You have to work as a team to get everyone through and on the other side without letting them touch it."
I really wasn't keen on being touched so much by my teammates.
The coaches led us over to where they had set up the "fence" and we gathered on one side.
"Half of you need to go to the other side," Coach Silva instructed.
I quickly moved to the other side, hoping Fox wouldn't follow. He didn't. But then I realized it didn't matter what side he stayed on; he would have to touch me either way.
"Alright let's start," Fox said to the team. "You guys send someone over." He pointed to our side.
"I'll go," Alex volunteered.
We held our arms out and lifted Alex up, starting to send him through the rope.
Fox grabbed his head, keeping Alex's hair from touching the rope.
"You gotta tie your hair back or something," Fox muttered.
"Just hold it!"
We slowly transferred Alex through the rope and over to the other side successfully, without letting him touch the rope.
"Good!" Coach Silva called out. "It counts if your clothes touch, you have to start over."
Fox's side decided to send Jude over to us, but he let his shoe touch at the very last second.
"Jude!" Ryan complained, shaking his head.
Jude just rolled his eyes and walked back over to the other side so we could start again. Once we successfully got him through to our side, my team volunteered me to go next.
They lifted me easily and sent me through the ropes. Fox was the first on the other side to grab hold of me. His touch was gentle yet firm as he shifted my body through the rope and helped me into the arms of the team on his side. I was relieved once I was through and placed back down on the ground, moving to stand beside Ian and as far away from Fox and Josh as I could get.
"Ian, go next," Fox called out.
"Why don't you go next?" Ian shot back.
The two gave each other hard stares for a moment before Fox gave in with an eye roll. I tried not to look at him as we lifted him up, but he made it hard when his eyes were trained on me. It seemed as though time slowed down while we maneuvered Fox onto the other side, punishing me and making me have to keep my hands on him even longer.
It wasn't quite as awkward when it was Josh's turn, but it still wasn't pleasant. I was happy when we had finally gotten everyone through and we were able to move onto the next activity.
"Good job, guys," Coach Silva complimented. "I know it's cold out, but the next activity is outside so make sure you put your jackets on."
Of course, most of us didn't bring jackets so we had to suffer the cold in just our sweatshirts. We were used to the cold around here, so no one wore coats unless is was absolutely necessary.
"We're going to pair you up for this one," Coach Merton told us. "This is about communication. One of you will be blindfolded and the other will have to give you verbal instructions on how to get through the course successfully, then you switch."
It seemed simple enough and I was almost certain I would be paired with Ian, so it wouldn't be too bad. That was until Ian got paired with someone else and Coach Merton paired me with Corey, Number 21, the guy who said I should get dressed in the girl's locker room.
"Hey, Ellis," Corey said as he walked over to me, clearing his throat.
"Hey."
I sighed, looking around at the other pairings. It seemed as though the coaches had split everyone away from their friends. Fox was paired with the kid that had slammed me into the boards just before the incident with Corey, and he didn't look happy about it.
"Do you want to go first?" Corey asked, grabbing my attention.
"Sure," I replied, crossing my arms over my chest.
There were ten courses set up and each pairing was placed in front of one. The courses were just lines drawn on the ground, it seemed pretty simple, and there was nothing in the way that Corey could make me walk into.
"You have to keep your partner within the lines," Coach Silva instructed. "If they come outside the lines, you have to start over from the beginning."
Coach Merton began handing out the blindfolds and once he was done, the activity began. I tied the blindfold around my head and over my eyes, waiting for instruction from Corey.
"Can you see anything?" Corey asked. He was probably waving his hand in front of my face.
"No."
"Okay, take three steps forward," Corey began. I followed his instructions and waited for him to speak again. "Take, like, half a step."
I sighed and did what he said. We went through the rest of the course with Corey giving me vague instructions and I never stepped out of the lines. Or, if I did, Corey never told me. Once we reached the end, I tore the blindfold off and handed it over to him.
The coaches had us all alternate courses when everyone finished so we would be unfamiliar with the new one. Fox and his partner ended up at the course next to ours and I tried my hardest not to look over at him, though I could feel his stare on me.
Once we were done with the activity, we did some off ice conditioning and eventually the coaches let us leave. I was happy to get out of there. So happy, I rushed around and didn't look where I was going, causing me to bump into a shirtless Fox Ridley.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"Elijah," he said, grabbing my arm as I tried to walk away.
I raised my eyebrows at him, willing him to continue even though I didn't really want to speak to him at the moment. It wasn't that I was angry with him. I was just burnt out and emotionally spent from the night before.
Fox didn't say anything, his mouth hanging open like he was trying to pull the words out. I looked down at where his hand was gripping my arm and he immediately let go.
"I'll see you around, Fox," I said with a sigh, grabbing my things and leaving the locker room to wait for Josh by the car.
The car ride home was silent and for that I was grateful. I wasn't looking for apologies from Josh, or even Fox. What was said, was said, and there was nothing to change that. What was said was true and I didn't need either of them trying to convince themselves, or me, that it wasn't.
I was grateful once we had gotten home, ready to take a nap in the comfort of my own room. I briefly greeted Dad and Mindy and tried to get by them to the stairs after Josh.
"Elijah," Dad called out as I was about to go to my room.
"Hm?"
"I'd like to talk to you," he said, motioning for me to follow him.
I nodded and went with him into the kitchen, the two of us sitting across from each other at the table.
"I've been struggling with what to do about what happened last night," Dad admitted, folding his hands in front of him.
"I didn't mean to worry you," I assured him.
"I know you didn't," he said with a sigh. "But I can't have that happening, Elijah. I can't have you disappearing on me like that."
"I know."
"I thought you agreed to talk to me about what bothers you," Dad continued. "Didn't we make that agreement?"
I sighed. "Yes."
"Then can we please follow through with that?"
"I just had a rough night," I told him, avoiding eye contact.
"That's not good enough, Elijah." I could hear the pain in his voice. He just wanted to help me. He was basically pleading.
"I just–" I stammered. "I just feel like I don't belong here. Or anywhere."
Dad's face softened and he reached out to grab my hand on the table.
"And I made Josh mad but the things he said were true," I continued. "And I made Fox mad. It just made me realize I don't fit here like I thought I could."
"What do you mean you don't fit here?"
"I don't fit!" I said. "Not in this family. Not with those friends."
"Elijah..." Dad trailed. "What can I do to show you you do belong here? You are part of this family."
I just shrugged.
Dad sighed, rubbing his forehead in frustration. Luckily for him, he didn't have to say anything as Mindy made her way into the kitchen and sat down beside me.
"I don't mean to butt in, but I figured you could both use some support talking about this," Mindy said, placing a comforting hand on my back.
Dad nodded and Mindy continued.
"Elijah, I love you like you're my own son," she told me. "I love having you here. I know Josh said some bad things to you, and I'll let him make up for that himself, but those things were not true."
"What did Josh say?" Dad asked, a look of confusion on his face.
"Nothing," I muttered.
"Let the boys deal with it, Dan," Mindy said, rubbing circles on my back.
He reluctantly nodded, shooting me a concerned look.
"Your father doesn't know what to do because any normal parents would punish their kid for running off," Mindy told me, causing me to look over at her.
"You can punish me."
"But we don't want to do that and in fact, neither of us think that would be effective," Dad continued.
"So," Mindy started. "We decided we are going to act more like a family in this house."
"Okay..." I trailed.
"I'm talking mandatory family dinners, family activity nights, saying we love each other often," Mindy continued.
"We want to make this a better environment for everyone," Dad said with a small smile. "We should've done it ages ago."
I nodded. "Okay."
Mindy placed a kiss on my cheek. "This starts Monday," she said.
"Do you want to say anything?" Dad asked me.
There was plenty I was thinking but nothing I wanted to say. I didn't think any amount of time spent with this family would make anything better, but I supposed I could let Dad and Mindy try. They had already done so much for me and the least I could do was go along with their plans.
"I'm tired," I replied.
Dad nodded. "Okay, go ahead and rest up. I'm sure you had a long day."
And I did.
**
Sooooo what did you think about team building? And Elijah having to be paired with Corey? And his talk with his Dad and Mindy?
Also, I HATE online school.
Anyway thanks for reading!