I couldn't forget what Aileen had said. You like this guy, and maybe not just a friend. Do I like him more than a friend? Yet my response to her words also echoed in my mind.
"No, Aileen. He is just a friend and nothing more." I affirmed.
"Sure, whatever you say, Jane." She retorted and dropped the topic when the delivery guy arrived with her mail.
However, the weekend had passed. Yet her words lingered in my mind at the back of my mind. It didn't dominate my waking consciousness since I'm able to function normally at work. Or so I thought. After the morning rush hour past in the grocery store, I found myself being idle in the register. I was wiping the counter from the moist droplets of the last customer's meat selection. I didn't realize I was in a daze until a customer started waving their hands in front of my face. To make matters worse, it wasn't merely another customer. It was him, the man who was the root of my recent distress.
"Seb, what are you doing here?" I asked in surprise.
He held out a basket of groceries and then placed them on the counter. "I'm shopping." He smiled. "I didn't know you worked this close to the hospital."
I arched my eyebrow. "I don't. It's a good fifteen-minute drive from there to here, and it's out of the way, Sebastian. There's a closer grocery store in the area that's like ten to fifteen-minute walk."
He nodded, looking away. He started unpacking his basket to find something to do. "I know. And I'm just trying to find an excuse."
I picked up and started scanning his purchases. The sound of the scanner drowned out a bit of the awkwardness. "Who told you I worked here?"
"No one, actually. I got lucky," he replied nonchalantly.
I scoffed. "Are you stalking me for real this time?" I lightly accused.
There was a brief pause. I looked up and found him watching me with an apologetic smile. "I wasn't stalking, I promise. I did get lucky this was the first grocery store I went when I thought about checking your workplace."
I stopped what I was doing and made a soft choking sound of surprise. Then I was beside myself and started chuckling. "I can't believe you actually admitted you were going to stalk me. You know you have my number. You can call and ask me where I worked, Seb."
"I did plan on doing that a couple of minutes ago on the drive here. Only if I didn't find you here. But I did," he sheepishly replied.
I grinned and finished scanning his purchases. I peered at the register and shortly announced the total bill of his items. He pulled out his wallet and handed me a couple of bills. The brief silence between us as I got his change was eerie. Yet once I handed the money back to him, our hands briefly touch. I quickly pulled my hand away and quickly turned to his purchases, putting them one by one inside the paper bag.
"So, how's the job here?" He spoke again to fill the silence.
"It's been great, and very therapeutic," I jested a bit.
"Really? Therapeutic, how?"
"Meeting different kinds of people is humbling. It's given me a sense of security to know I'm not responsible for anything grand but only give the minimum expectation, which is hospitality. Also, the normality of it. The job can be peaceful if only you are." I admitted with a smile.
"I know what you mean," he said, nodding.
I glanced at him and arched my eyebrow. "Really? How so? I don't think there's anything normal being a resident doctor."
I waved his hand in dismissal. "I didn't use to be a doctor, you know. During college, I took a part-time job in the service industry. It was great training for me on how to handle different kinds of people. It gave me a humbling insight into humanity."
"It does, does it?" I grinned and pushed the bag in his direction. "Here. All done. Thank you so much for coming by to visit me at work."
He grabbed the bag off the counter. "Thank you, Jane. And I'm sorry about... this," he said. He looked guilty.
I gave him an encouraging thumbs-up. "It's okay, Seb. We're still good. And call, next time, if you do want to stalk me?" I teased.
He nodded and waved goodbye. "That's on me. I'm sorry. I'll call if there's a next time." He laughed.
My eyes followed him as he walked out of the store. Like a switched, Aileen words echoed in mind again. You like this guy, and maybe not just a friend. At that moment, I considered it as a possibility. Maybe I do.
~~~~
Sebastian took my advice. In the evening past nine, I got a text from him. It was short, sweet, and unpretentious. The words reflected him so much I could picture him saying the words as I read them.
I wanted to call, and you did offer, but if you're asleep at this time I didn't want to wake you. I hope you respond to text as well, as you didn't promise me anything about answering them too. Anyway, I'm texting to apologize again about this morning. I won't stalk you again without your permission. So here it is. Are you free tomorrow for lunch? I'd like to take you out somewhere to make up for my inappropriate actions. I hope you're thought about it didn't diminish because of it.
Waiting for your reply.
~ Seb
I found myself grinning from ear to ear, reading his message nearly three times. And each time I felt warmth in his words. When I thought it through, he might have rewritten and thought his words carefully before sending the message. The fact he sent it nearly twelve hours after our meeting told me he had been cautious with what he wanted to say. Plus, why he chose to text rather than call only made it adamant.
So, I kept my response brief and short, to ease his burden.
My opinion about you hasn't changed for the worst, only for the better. And yes, I'd love to have lunch with you tomorrow. And if I may, can I pick the place? I only have a short lunch break.
~ Jane
His reply followed not a minute later.
I'm glad you're still awake. And yes. You can pick the place. What do you have in mind?' His text read.
'Pizza and wings.' I hit send.
'That sounds good. I'll pick you up at your work around noon. Are you out then?'
'Yes, I am. See you then. Good night, Seb.'
'Sweet dreams, Jane.'
That night, I found myself dreaming again. I dreamt of a sunny summer. The warm breeze and prickling heat quenched with the taste of lemonade and honey. I dreamt of the old Oak tree by the stream near my grandmother's farmhouse. And then, there underneath the shade, sitting beside me was a little boy. A bit older than I am, who was playing with glass marbles. And I was there, beside him, playing with my own set of marbles as well. We both held them up, allowing the sun to create streaks of reflection, creating different light around us.
It was an old dream. One I couldn't remember. But now that I do, the scene became more vivid. The little's boy became clearer. His familiar dark brown hair, his chestnut eyes, and his childish toothy grin. Slowly the boy grew and became the Sebastian I knew now. Yet it was the same color hair and eyes, and a smile that was gradually growing on me.
~~~~
I was unaware I was in an unusually good mood until Aileen pointed it out while she dropped me off to work.
"Is there something happening today? Are you already getting a promotion or something?" She asked with interest.
I snorted. "I've been hired barely a week in, Aileen. Why would they promote me suddenly?"
"Then what's all of this?" She asked and gestured me in emphasis.
"What? Is there something off about me?"
"Nothing off. But you're glowing, Jane. And whatever it is, do more of it because I'm happy to see you like this." She remarked with a smile.
"Really?" I asked in confusion and pulled out my phone. With the use of the dead screen's reflection, I checked my expression. "I don't see anything."
She scoffed. "You've been smiling and bubbly, Jane. Tell me. Is there something happening today that's making you so... happy?" For a second, she was unsure of what words to use. But in the end, she described it in the simplest term.
Did I look happy?
I sighed in defeat and gave her a brief gist of my text chain with Sebastian.
"Finally! He's asked you out!" She cheered, briefly letting go of the steering wheels to hold out her hands in exaltation. Luckily, the car was stagnant as we waited in front of the red light.
"It's not like that, Aileen. You know..."
She interjected, "Jane, I know what you're trying to say. But are you going to keep lying to yourself? You know he doesn't completely see it the same way. And he knows you know it too. And you're willing to keep him in your life still. If you don't want all of him, then you can't keep the man in a leash."
The atmosphere got serious quick. But she was right. And I was deluding myself that I can keep him in my life as only a friend when he clearly wanted more.
"So, you think I should have ended thing before it'll get anywhere?"
"That's your choice, Jane. Only saying this because you don't seem to grasp it yourself. I can see you like him to some extent, but to what extent, I don't know. You have to figure it out yourself. But my advice, when you do have your answer, do it quickly before it'll be too late and you'll hurt a lot of people."
I chuckled dryly. "I can't believe you have this in you, Aileen. I should ask more relationship advice from you, even though you've been single most of your life."
She laughed. "I'm a romantic, Jane. But that doesn't mean I look for romance blindly. I have standard too, you know."
"Yeah. A very high standard that no men can meet."
"It's not high at all. I only require basic decency, loyalty, respect, and honesty in a relationship. That's not hard to do. But in a society we live in, the qualities I listed sounded like I'm looking for prince charming and a fairytale ending," she said in thought. "And I'm losing faith in every finding decent men."
Now it was my turn to give her a sermon.
"You'll meet someone, Aileen. Just have faith and don't lose confidence in yourself. You're a remarkable woman. One of these days, a man will meet those things if he truly loves you."
"Yeah, I hope so."
"That's what all we can do, really, hope for the better."
Aileen at me and smiled. "I'm glad you're back, Jane."
There was a brief prick in my heart at her words, understanding what she meant. "I'm happy to be back, Aileen."
~~~~
I found a cafe to concentrate on writing this chapter. I'm glad I did and finished it. Thank you for reading. I might be updating another chapter to catch up and not break my streak. Pray, I can do this. :)