Chapter 1 – Haunting Memories
Arnav's POV
I woke up with a jerk yet again,and I couldn't believe that I had dreamt the same thing again.Off late, almost one night every week without fail, I was literally being haunted by these memories of the past.And not the memories that are recent, these are memories that I had buried deep inside my being eight years ago, and I am totally shocked at my very own mind for shoving them in my face every other night now and then that too in my state of sleep when I am too vulnerable to press a pause on the play of events in my head, until it comes to that one point, that haunts and shakes me everytime, that memory goes through my head and I end up waking up with a jolt , back into the reality that Life is today.
I run a hand through my hair for a brief second, before picking up my phone. It was 545 am, everyone would still be asleep, me and Akshay usually left for our run at 6 10 am, as I still had some time and I was no way going back to sleep again, so I decided to freshen up.A while later,as I step into my personal pool side outside my room, I close my eyes and take a deep breathe trying to figure out why this was happening to me.Over the past couple of months, this had become a regular scene for me every other morning of the week, and I tried to recall what Akshay would always say – "Bhai,people come into your Life for a season, a reason or a Lifetime, and you make these memories and relationships, and then often your paths go different ways,but you move on..eventually learning from your experiences and relationships, but Life moves on, and memories fade away..."
I made a mental note of telling him that what he thinks is totally bullshit.Well to be honest, I kind of didn't find it bullshit until about six months ago, until this strange thing started happening to me and these hidden memories started to haunt me. I closed my mind to them, I literally ordered my brain to stop processing these memories, so then they started haunting me in my dreams.
And it was all about Her.The one I had left far behind in my Life, eight years ago. I knew I had been unfair to her ,she deserved much better, but to my defense I was only 24-25, not at all experienced with any stability in relationships,because I had always believed that having no strings attached made things so much easier, because my focus in Life was always on my education, my career,because I knew the responsibilty that was awaiting to lean on my shoulders,always.As Arun Singh Raizada's only son, born with a platinum spoon(as most people say), I was fully aware that the empire dad has built would need me to step in,and I wanted to be ready in every way for it, to prove it to my family and myself that I deserved to step into dad's shoes, and not just because I was entitled to it. Honestly, I never really gave a damm about what people thought of me, but I cared about what my family felt, and more than that, I really just needed to be satisfied within about what I was doing in terms of my career and my goals.I kind of had this vision for myself that I needed to live up to, and that was what my focus was on for the last thirteen years,ever since I was 19 and left the country to first finish my undergrad in Singapore, gained some work experience there and then went on to the US for my MBA at Harvard.
I had just turned 24 when I started out at Harvard,and I had been in Boston for two months,when I first met her.And just as that thought creeps in, the lock on the gates open,and memories start gushing in,and I sign in despair for I really have no clue on how to deal with this situation,anymore.
And Now that my mind is forcing me to take this walk down the memory lane, I am surprised and shocked to discover that even though this was eight long years ago, the memory still is very fresh in my head.
The first moment I laid my eyes on her, that twinkle in her eyes,the sparkle in her laughter.Before I could control myself, a smile curved my lips,which was crazy I know, but it was also true,she kinda was like that magicdust that sprinkled happiness whereever she went,her name reflected her in every way – Khushi.
I close my eyes for a brief second, and it all rushes into my head.
Our first date.Our first Kiss.The way she would blush everytime I was close.Those Happy Times...I had been truly very happy in those days, infact now that I look back I Can easily say that the time I had been Khushi made it to the top on the best days of my life.I smiled easily.I laughed and I lived with a peace and satisfaction within that was impossible for me to comprehend then, just like it is today.Honestly, I never have been able to completely understand what it is that I shared with Khushi Gupta, but I know one thing for sure , it was different and it was definitely special, for I haven't really felt anything even close to it in the long long time ,ever since we parted.
But back then, that precisely had been the problem, I hadnt really felt much for real, and I had almost thought that I am immune to it,or maybe I am just programmed differently, until her.I had started to feel, I knew I had genuinely felt something deep down for her, something I hadnt really felt anything familiar ever before, and that had started to scare the hell out of me,and I had started to push her away for no fault of hers really, now that I think of it, I am not at all proud of the way things transpired and ended between us. I hurt her, said things I shouldn't have, implied things I shouldnt have, only so that I could push her out.
And I had succeedd ofcourse, I can be pretty mean, ruthless or in plain words horrible, when I want to be.
Maybe If I could have been honest,and admitted to her that I was scared about what she made me feel,and explained to her the need to separate,because she was throwing me off my focused course,maybe she wouldn't have been as hurt as she was.
And maybe I would atleast know about her whereabouts,maybe I would have a chance to atleast apologize and wish her well for her future, which I very much wanted to do months after our breakup.But I couldn't, because she vanished, she simply vanished into thin air, overnight.Ok to be fair, she did try to get things back on track, she reached out to me several times, but I think my stony reaction to her each time ,worsened things day by day, and then one fine day, she was gone.
I flinched as I remembered how I felt when I learnt that she had left the US.It had hurt back then, and if I flinched in this moment, maybe It hurts today too.
And maybe that's why it comes back to haunt me ever so often,because I couldn't get a closure within from whatever it was I shared with Khushi Gupta. The thoughts and memories' that come in start off as a dream, replaying the happy times we had, and then it all starts proceeding towards the time I started to screw up, the hurt on her face, the tears in her eyes, and that pained tear stricken face and that shattered look in her eyes,as she looked at me after the final row and I know my those words were the final blow to her.Its that last row that I regret the most.Its that shattered look in her eyes, that's coming back to haunt me.And now because I am matured enough to understand, and because my mind has rewinded this moment a million times in my head, I know what that look meant.It was that look which said- You just Scarred my soul.
That was the last I saw of her,eight years ago.She deactivated all her social media, and changed her number, maybe even shut down her email account, because the two mails I tried to send to her bounced back.
And eight years later, on mornings like these, I find myself standing on my poolside thinking of her, hoping I had just had the chance to know , how Life turned out for her, and probably wish her well,because I really do wish that for her.Because, undoubtedly she was one of the purest human beings I had ever come across in this big bad world. I take a deep sigh as I silently wish her all the very best in my mind,and I find myself wondering, why these memories have not really faded with time, because eight years is indeed a long long time.I cant help but wonder why havent I been able to flush Khushi out of my system, just like I have flushed out all the other flings I have had in the past.There has to be a reason why I havent been able to get her out of my system, there has to be a reason why these memories are haunting me, but I cant really get my head around it, so just like I always do, I shrug it away and command myself to not think of this again.
Thankfully my phone rings and its Akshay,I gulp down half the bottle of water next to my table,and make my way out to join him for our morning run routine.
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The Raizada's have certain unsaid – rules in the family, which all of them are very particular about, because they are a close-knit family.They Live together, in Shantivan, Kaushalya Raizada is the head of the family, mother to Arun and Atul Raizada, she had sole handedly managed the business her late husband Ajay Singh Raizada had built,after his untimely death, for two years until Arun and Atul were ready to step in and take over.The Raizada brothers Arun and Atul were only two years apart, Arun being the elder one, and both had equal hold on the Raizada business empire,and because of their different industrial diversifications ,each headed a different industry,and more than that it was the brotherly bond between them that was commendable,as they both had immense love and respect for each other.Their wives Ratna and Mamta were more like sisters to each other and because of the close bond between the four of them, Anjali, Arnav and Akash grew up very close to each other.
Anjali was the oldest,and was two years older to Arnav and Akash who were just six months apart, Arnav being the older one.Anjali was happily married to Shyam Mehra, when she turned 24, who was also a close family friend, and was a successful lawyer, and had taken over his fathers law firm with great ease.They had a son who was 7 years old,and his name was Shiv.
Five years ago, Akash had married Payal, who was a family friends daughter, infact the family had known Payal ever since she was a baby, so everyone was delighted when the news of Akash and Payal being in love came to light.So everything was super smooth there, and they now have a adorable daughter Mira, who is the light of the house.
Now everyone's major concern was to see Arnav settled in terms of his personal life, because on the work front everything was now more than settled for both Akash and Arnav, as both Arun and Atul had taken a back seat four years ago once Arnav returned from US and Akash and Payal from London. Arnav and Akash were independently handling various sectors,but with constant support from each other.
They were a joint family,where everyone loved and respected each other,and also gave each other their space and privacy.Everyone dined together,breakfast was the meal in the family where everyone got together, ate and spent time together,and everyone tried to catch up over dinner as well,until ofcourse anyone had a separate engagement on the workfront or a personal note.
Breakfast today at Shantivan was the usual, happy, cheerful atmosphere,and Anjali had joined in after sending Shiv to school.Arnav sipped his last bit of coffee and he heard his grandmother say – " Chotte, you do know you can get away for some more time, until Arun Ratna,Atul and Mamta are back from their holiday, and soon after, you got to start meeting the girls we have shortlisted out for you..."
Arrnav grinned as he spoke – " thank god for that...wait, I think I should call Dad and ask him to extend his trip a bit..."
Akash and Payal laughed at that as they jointly spoke – " You wish..."
Anjali smiled – " oh, cmon Chotte, Dadi is right, its high time, I cant really be on your side anymore...infact Nani is going to visit us soon too, and we don't want to get her started on this right..."
Kaushalya roller her eyes and grinned – " yes she gives me a tough time everytime, telling me how iv given you all too much freedom and liberty...cmon Arnav, beta I am serious about this.."
Arnav nodded – " ok, ok...fine, I will look into it once everyone is back,on one condition that until then for the next three weeks, lets not talk about this, ok? Deal?"
The rest of his family members all echoed in unison – " Deal.."
Arnav smiled at his family as he resumed his meal,he really was blessed to have them all, and then just like that in that one moment, Khushi's smiling face flashed in front of his eyes, and he felt his heartbeat literally stop for a second, he couldn't believe it now the memories were starting to make their way from his dreams into his mind,he quickly nudged her out of his head again, and made a mental note to not let the past haunt him again, like it had done this morning.
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SAME DAY – DELHI 10.00 AM
Khushi took a deep breathe as she looked at Aaditya's hand on hers as she heard him ask in a worried voice – " are you sure, you are ok??"
Khushi gave him a small smile as she nodded reassuringly – " Yes.I am, I truly am ok aadi, like I said earlier its better this way, we started off as friends,and the only way left to go forward in a healthy way without impacting the kids life was this...now we can all be positive about the situation and take things forward..."
Aadi nodded – " You know I Love you right??"
Khushi nodded – " I know you do, and you know I do too, and we both know it's the bond of companionship, friendship, and love and respect as each others partners that we always shared, but I know, you were never in Love with me , just like I was never in love with you, in that way, so trust me when I say this aadi, I truly am really really happy for you, that you can get your heart to beat again for someone in a way like that, and I really wish you and Ahana,all the very best..."
Aadi smiled sadly – " this is what surprises me the most, your calmness, this composure, honestly I am feeling more jittery than you right now, we just signed our divorce papers Khushi, and why do I feel that this look of calmness in your eyes tells me that you saw this coming..."
Khushi sighed – " Maybe I did, but aadi, lets not worry about it anymore, it was something we needed to take care off and we did, and now we just need to be tactful on how to go about it around the kids..anyways lets talk about it tonight then? At home?? We gotta handle the whole you moving out situation with a lot of care, atharv and myra are young, but I feel if we do this right , we will all be ok..."
Aadi nodded – " yeah, I know, me and Ahana have been talking about a solution for the situation, and I wanted to discuss it with you.."
Khushi nodded – "ok but not now, tonight at home, I really need to leave for that appointment, and then because I have taken a off today, I will just pick up the kids and head home.."
Aadi nodded and because Khushi spotted that guilt in his eyes she said with a small smile – "btw, thank you boss for letting me have the rest of the day off..."
Aadi smiled, his heart was literally in the most complicated situation of his life, but he smiled, Khushi always knew how to make him smile, and that's why he knew that their friendship would always be the same, they had been through so much together, that love would always remain and so he spoke – " very funny Khushi, but you will be back to work tomorrow wont you??"
Khushi smiled as she opened the door – " ofcourse.."
Aadi held her hand for a brief second as he spoke solemnly – " its sad, it really is sad that we couldn't get our hearts to beat for the each other in the way we thought it would eventually with time, but Khushi, I really hope, you can find someone who makes your heart come alive again..."
Khushi sighed – " that's so not happening in this Life aadi, but you know what Its ok, I have no complaints whatsoever, I don't regret a thing, you gave me atharv and myra and they light up my world and my heart, so pleaseee, cut the guilt out and smile, please??"
Aadi smiled – " and you still have me Khushi, you know I am always there for you..."
Khushi smiled – " I know...", and with that she finaly got off the car and started to walk on the sidepath, as she wiped a tear out the corner of her eye, she desperately needed to sit alone for a while and get herself together and analyse this situation Life had thrown on her plate.
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Khushi's POV
Ofcourse I had no appointment, I just need to sit out alone on a deserted park bench surrounded by solace to just think about everything. I don't usually lie to Aadi, I never do, but off late I have had to on times like this because I don't want him to worry about me , because I really am ok, I just need my space to pause, think, recollect , put that smile back on my face and move on.But before I do that sometimes, I need to sit alone, and just cry a little, I respect every emotion that I feel and I like to give every emotion its moments. I just hate it when Aadi goes into a guilt trip and feeling like as if he has deserted me midway, when I know that is not the truth, hence the lie. Things have been complicated off late,but that's Life isn't it, just when you feel you know the answers it comes along, slyly and changes the questions.
Life.
Its been throwing strange surprises at me every now and then as if I were its favourite muse.Its like a rollercoaster that takes me so high in one moment and then pulls me down in the next instant, draining me off all my energy, leaving me unsettled and lost in the maze of destiny and Life, that even though I know I have to get up again and resume the walk on the path, there are times when I just want to standstill to recollect and analyse the story of my Life until now.
I was an orphan, so at a very beginning of my Life I had seen and experienced the fact that happiness was a precious thing, you gotta find it in the tiniest of moments in life.
I believed , and I always had faith that Life was the biggest gift and that we must go on, no matter how difficult the situations get, I had grown up and lived around in the situations that taught me to appreciate every little thing that made you smile.Then I got lucky, and Maa and Baba came into my life and I was adopted at the age of 4, into a extremely loving family, who treated me with so much love, just as they would have with their own blood. Maa would always tell me that I reminded her off Divya, the daughter she lost due to an unfortunate accident at the age of 4. They loved me so much , that I grew up with the sense of gratitude and appreciation towards Life and God in a way that I cant really explain in words, and instead all my Life ever since the name Gupta adjoined my name Khushi, I dedicated each day in making my parents proud, living upto the expectations that I knew they would have had of Divya.They never pressurized me for anything, but in my very own eyes, I just had to do everything that I did in life , keeping their happiness in my mind and heart because that made me happy.It gave me a lot of happiness to be able to make them proud,because I knew that anything I did would be nothing in comparison to the fact that they gave me a family, the sense of security of belongingness, someone to call Maa and Baba.It meant the world to a orphan like me that I can.And then even though Payal, my little sister came along two years later after my adoption, they never differentiated between me and her, even though she was their blood and I wasn't.
I lived each day like I knew was expected out of the daughters of the middle class Gupta family, I studied hard, I exelled in every co-curricular activity, and I never even dared to let my heart loose in the matters of relationships for all my life, keeping my emotions locked up in that perspective because I always knew I would marry the man, my baba would choose for me.
But my perfect controlled focused Life saw a massive change, when I got the scholarship to study in the US, and that too in the prestigious Babson College, Boston. It was a huge accompalishment in our middle class society, and I still remember the pride with which Maa and Baba sent me off to the US to study, giving me a lot of part of their savings for my living there.
I smile as I remember my very own excitement as I landed into Boston, my happiness on the first day of class in such a prestigious college.I couldn't really thank God or Life for moments like these, that gave me the courage to dream a life for myself that I could have never imagined.
There's a thing about memories, they are magical in their own way, being a part of your being in a way that's impossible to separate. I would never trade my memories for anything in the world, and I am sure no one would , because our journey of Life is what makes us unique, we all have a different story to live.
My life in the US was going as per my plan for the first three years of my graduation life, I was excelling in my course, studying with passion and dedication and I even had found a decent part time job in my college's counselling and admissions office, and was saving up and taking care of my living expenses by myself.Everything was going as per the plan, and then one fine day, I came face to face with a tornado that changed my Life, forever.
The Tornado, named Arnav Singh Raizada.
I don't really want to walk down that part of the memory lane today, because it just rattles me everytime I do, it hurts me, it breaks me and it makes me cry, and it makes me hate the fact that I couldn't get my heart to beat in the way ever again, like it did for him. But now that his name had already crossed my mind, the memory gates open and moments flood in, moments that make me smile, moments that make my heart glow in warmth all over again, moments that make me wanna cry and laugh at the same time, moments that are such a significant part of my Life that I don't think I could ever forget him, and so even today there is this corner in my heart that is solely dedicated to Arnav,and his memories in my Life.
Arnav Singh Raizada and his memories in my Life will definitely go to my grave with me, he marked my soul because he made me feel the love I thought I would never feel in my Life, I never knew I was capable to feeling what I felt. I never knew I could Love in the way I loved him because I had always kept my emotions on guard in that perspective always, and maybe that was why he had also scarred my soul in a way that it was irreparable, he was the first one and the only one I had ever loved in the way I had, truly madly and deeply.And the day we parted eight years ago,was the last day my heart felt – Love.(The love in its truest romantic, fantasy, crazy, chaotic,passionate sense)
And that's why I was so sure when I told Aadi that I couldn't get my heart to beat again that way in this Life, because in my soul I knew, I could never love anyone the way I loved Arnav. I couldn't get myself to love Aadi like that in the eight years of our marriage, I just couldn't , I tried, I know he tried too, but we just couldn't get each other to feel that way.
Now, today if I ask myself, what is it that I really feel when his memories return to my mind to haunt me, I can easily say, they make me smile,but that smile is accompanied by tears in my eyes.I don't hate him for what he did, though I tried too desperately do so after we parted, I tried to detest him for breaking me in the way he had, but I couldn't, I couldn't get myself to hate him even for a second, because I had no one else but myself to blame for my broken heart.All my Life until he came along, I had happily guarded my heart and emotions, he could break my heart because I gave him the power too, he had become too important to me in such a short time, creating in havoc on my mind, and heart , stripping me off of every guard, every lock, I had put as a guard to my soul.
But back then in time, eight years ago, I didn't have the strength to be around him any longer, for the first time in that moment I knew I had to run away, and I did.I had tried to talk to him so many times, worrying each day about what was it that had gone wrong, but he didn't give me any answers, instead chose to break my heart each time I tried to mend things between us, he was like this cold wall that I couldn't really reach, and so I gave up, I had too,he didn't really happen to leave me with any other choice.
I flinch as I remember how he trampled over my heart,in the moment that I last saw of him eight years ago.Strange, because it definetly makes me flinch a lot more in comparison to the unsettlement I should be feeling as I just signed my divorce papers just a few minutes ago, but then again , I know I never loved Aadi in the way I loved Arnav, not even close, my heart never gave anyone that power post the disaster it had faced in the hands of Arnav Singh Raizada.
But do I regret feeling what I did – NO.Do I regret falling for him the way I had – NO. I sometimes regret carrying this weight in this corner of my heart, that I never got the chance in this life to tell the only man I loved, how deeply I had loved him, my heart often laments in the fact that it could never really confess what it once felt so deeply.Sad, but with time I had come to terms with the fact, that , it was the fate of my love. To be honest, till today I don't know exactly what I was to him, did he actually even care, a part of me wants to believe he did, but if he truly did he wouldn't have done what he did.
He never loved me , whereas I loved him with all my heart, sad that out of all the things in the world, he had chosen my feelings to play with.
But such is Life, we have to accept what it gives us on our plate and move on, and that's what I did.It was easier for a nobody like me to vanish from his life, and that was what I had needed in that moment,and the transfer to Auckland in my last semester really helped.And that was where when I first met Aadi, he had finished his masters just then and was working in Auckland.
So me and Aadi are from familiar backgrounds, he is also from a middle class family but from Dehradun, whereas I was from Lucknow, but it was just by chance we met as Baba and Maa were so worried about my sudden shift to another country that baba's asked his childhoods friends son to get in touch with me , to help me settle in, in a different country, and that was how we met, and we sort of clicked as buddies in the first go. We also connected really well with time because we were both nursing our broken hearts, so we understood what the other was going through and healed each other through, and we had such a strong bond that when our parents suggested that we get married, we didn't think much and nodded in agreement, because we knew we would make great partners, our bond was more platonic, we knew we couldn't share a great love, but it felt right at that time, that we could share Life.
And we did, with great ease, with a great bond of friendship, respect and even love, but the companion love not the great love we had both had failed experiences in.We were living in Auckland, until Atharv and Myras birth, when our families wanted us to come back to India and then we were in Dehradun,and had only moved to Delhi six months ago, because Aadi wanted to expand his self-made business into the capital. I was a little hesitant at first, because even the thought that I would be living in the same city as Arnav so many years later made me nervous, crazy I know, but that's what I felt, because I always knew he would return home, to fill in the shoes of his father for the great business empire the Raizadas had built.
It was easier for me to vanish from his life because I was a nobody, but he wasn't.He was everything but that,I would often spot him in the news in the national newspapers back in Dehradun as well, and ever since our move to Delhi, I would spot him every other day on Delhi Times, page 3 with some model or the other, or on the front page of Business Standard, talking about another successful venture of the Raizada's. No one in my family, knew that he was the man who had broken my heart, not even Aadi, because I never revealed that information to anyone, I didn't want anyone to know.
Anyway, so it was here in Delhi, that Aadi met Ahana, and I could sense that something was wrong with Aadi because I knew him way too well. I knew he was fighting his emotions, and so one fine day, I made him sit in front of me as I asked him, that why was he doing this to himself, he was lucky that he could finally feel his heart come alive again, and to be honest it was me who pushed him into exploring his feelings towards Ahana. Now if I share this with the world people would call me the craziest person on this planet, I mean which wife does this?? Ask her husband to explore his feelings for another woman, and not just that , our kids were also there in the picture.
But I know why I did it, because in my heart, I knew our longing for that magical love was still alive, we tried our best but the spark didn't just fly off between us after all this while, and I had realized a year ago that it never would.So what was the point then? Just because my heart was dysfunctional, I couldn't expect Aadi to fight his feelings.I knew I never had this chance to feel ever again in this life so I was really happy that life was giving him another chance here.Honestly the only thing I was worried about were the kids, they loved aadi way too much, but then again I wanted my children to grow up learning to deal with the truths in Life, I was always honest with them, and I knew if we tackled it well, parting ways was the healthier decision for all of us. Infact even right now, I am just a little sad because I know Myra and Atharv will miss aadi a lot once he moves out too, and maybe even I will but that's because we have been companions for so long that we are kind of used to each other.But its ok, I know I will be ok, and I will make sure that the kids will be ok too, it will take some time but it will all be better.Myra and Atharv were the light of our Lives, and we love them so much that aadi and me have decided that we will positively talk through the situation and handle each step at a time.
But now me and Aadi have a mammoth task at hand, we still have to give the final news to our families, they obviously know whats been going on, I was the one who had asked them to be understanding of the situation rather than bombarding Aadi with accusations for breaking our family.But I know they are angry and worried, but I know in my heart that I can handle the situation and I will.
I take a deep breathe, feeling a little more composed now, over the years of my life iv gained a lot of inner strength that's helped me deal with any adversity life has thrown my way.Except for that one time, when I felt deprived of every energy and strength, eight years ago.
Its Sad, that I had failed in Love,its heartbreaking that my heart refuses to beat in the same way again, but its ok, his memories will always be a part of me, our chaotic twisted,story will go with me to my grave.
Its sad, that I just signed off my divorce papers, and now I have to make things easier for my kids.
But its ok, I will get up again, smile and accept what Life has given me, and with that thought I wipe off the tears that had silently found their way down my cheeks, and close my eyes taking a fresh breathe of air in to recharge myself.
Because I had learnt very early in life that happiness was a precious thing and ones gotta find it in every adversity in Life, and that's what I mostly did.
That is what has kept the story of life moving forward till now.
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Ten Minutes Later
I feel much better now, looking out the window in my Uber, waiting for my driver to take me to the school to pick up my little ones, they usually stayed in their school until 330, attending the full day programme however today being Friday I had informed the head that I would be picking them up early. I had a fun time planned with them, I was taking them for the movie Lion King and I was sure they would love it, and their smiles and excitement would strengthen my belief that we would all be ok.Just then as we neared the red light and I spotted an old lady, slowly trying to make her way on the zebra crossing, and I knew that the signal would be green in just 90 seconds, and there was obviously no way that she would be able to make it across the road in that time, and knowing Delhi traffic, I knew we would have everyone honking at her, some even finding their way in between because no one just no one wanted to stop and give way to anyone, these days, everyone was such a rush, always.So I just told my driver that I would get back in soon, after I help the aunty cross the road and that he can wait for me on the side ahead after the signal, and he nodded giving me a small smile,and giving him a small smile in return, I stepped out, making my way towards the aunty.
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Arnav's POV
Theres one thing I literally hate about Delhi and Gurgaon, and that is its traffic, its horrible, it's a headache, I usually like to self drive but the traffic off late gives me a headache, so dad's happily asked Verma uncle, his trusted chauffeur to be with me now, and honestly I couldn't be happier.
I don't really visit this part of the city anyway,as in Gurgaon, but because today I did, because Di wanted me to accompany her to the new NGO she is keen for us to fund, I couldn't really say no to her, honestly I don't ever recall saying no to di or Maa ever.
We were on our way back to office and we had been stuck in this signal for ages so I was using up the time to answer my mails,but I had to make it in time for my meeting so I asked Verma uncle – " uncle, how much longer will we be stuck at this signal, you think?"
Verma Uncle smiled giving me a sidelook backwards – " I don't know beta, the traffic is always unpredictable, but I think another five minutes or so, we should be able to make our way smoothly..."
I sighed – " I hope so...", and returned my attention to my phone.
Right then I heard Verma uncle say – " there you go, people these days have no patience at all, look on the other side, the old lady is trying to cross the road,and the signal has just got green and people are honking away at her, but thank god theres still kindness in this world, atleast someone has reached out to help the old woman..."
I looked up from my phone and looked out the window and I witnessed the scene Uncle spoke about, as a woman helped the old lady make her way through across the road, and I smiled instantly, as the woman tried to handle the angry traffic gesturing them to wait as she held the old ladys hand and helped her walk a little faster,and right then as they reached the other side, the cars started to blaze by, but I don't know why I had the urge to continue looking out at the old lady and the woman and so I tried to gaze in between the moving cars, and I saw the old lady embrace the woman into a big warm hug, kissing her forehead, probably blessing her for helping her.
A smile almost made its way to my lips again, but right then my world came to a standstill as I spotted the face of the woman, as she pulled out from the old ladys hug, kissing her hand, giving her a brilliant smile.
It was her.
There was no way that I couldn't see that face and not recognize it.
There was no way that I could forget that smile.She had the smile that could light up a dark world.
It was that smile.It was the same smile.The same face.The Same her.
It was Khushi.
I felt numb as I tried to close my eyes and open it again , to check if I was hallucinating, maybe she had found her way out of my dreams into the reality, and so I looked again and again, as I watched her stride quickly across the sidepath and get into what must be a cab.
I watched frozen, in shock, as I saw her look back and wave back at the old lady giving her a flying kiss and her hundred watt smile, before she got in the cab and the car drifted away.And right then the signal at our side of the road also turned green and Verma uncle started to make his way as he said – "there we go Beta, now I think it shouldn't take us too long..."
Usually I would have replied to him, but right now I couldn't move, I was too shocked and shaken as I tried to comprehend what I had just seen.
I couldn't believe I had spotted Khushi here, in my city after all these years.
I couldn't believe that it really was her for her and not a hallucination.
And I couldn't believe how shaken I was feeling in this one moment.Just this morning I was down the memory lane, remembering whatever it was between us, and wondering how life turned out for her and silently wishing her well, and here she was right in front of me, out of my dreams into the reality.
I closed my eyes for a brief second, as tried to comprehend what I felt.
What was more shocking was the fact that one glimpse at her had stirred so much inside of me that I had no idea how to process it all.I had no clue as to what this restlessness was about.
I couldn't believe I had spotted the one, the back of my mind had been silently wondering about all these years, just like that on the streets of Delhi.
Right then a smile made its way to my Lips as her smiling face from minutes ago revolved in front of my eyes, she was wearing a white tee and jeans,casual like she would in the past,kind as always, wanting to lend out a helping hand to almost anyone who needed it and I closed my eyes reliving the moment in my head,that smile was still the same, the same face, the same twinkle in her eyes, she was still the same old Khushi, one of the purest human beings I had ever met in my life.
And it made me smile that the big bad world, hadn't been able to change that about her.
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Khushi's POV
As I sat back in the cab, I felt happy about the fact that my little help could make someones day so much better.I was still feeling warm from the hug I received from Mala aunty,and when she blessed me, I asked her to keep Myra and Atharv in her prayers.
I looked at my phone, it was still going to take me 15 minutes more to reach , I quickly replied to Aadis whatsapp message assuring him again that I really was ok.
I needed some music, so plugged in my ear phones and listened to my favourite playlist,and let the music calm my nerves.I put my phone aside, and leaned forward to pick up the newspaper from the taxis backpocket and started to read, and just as I flipped the pages, I found myself staring at another picture of Arnav Singh Raizada, standing next to his brother Akash as they spoke about Raizadas new acquisition in the real estate sector.
Arnav loved his family to bits, I knew he did, he would talk often about them in the past, and I would often tell him that he was really lucky and that he must cherish his family, like he did, always.And I remember him talking about his siblings all the time, Akash was his first cousin but they were both really close to each other.And not just because of the memory of the past, I recognized Akash because I had seen so much of the Raizada family in the newspapers, that I would recognize most of the immediate family members of the Raizadas if I were to see them in real.
On reflex, I found my hand linger over Arnav's face in the newspaper, like it did everytime I spotted him anywhere.That look was still the same, that same enigmatic aura surrounding his personality that worked like a magnet to the people around him.He was like that magnet I couldn't help but get pulled towards too, in the past.
Everything about him still looked the same on the surface, whereas ofcourse it was obvious that so much would have changed, back then in the past when I first met him, he was a student,and now he is a famous industrialist. I did feel happy to know that he was able to live the dream he had always carved out for himself, I remember how important it was to him back then.
Strange, how I allowed my hand to linger on his picture everytime I spotted it. I still don't know why I do it, maybe because seeing him ignites that longing in that deep corner of my heart, for the emotions that he made me feel. Maybe, its because, that so much of him is still a part of me, that even though I can hide it from the world, I cant really lie to myself, that I was so crazily in love with him that the hangover of that emotions still haunts me every now and then. Or maybe, I just like being nostalgic when it comes to him.
Silently, in my mind, like always, I wish him well, and close the newspaper in my hand, before closing my eyes for a brief second,trying to compose myself.
There was no point in lamenting the past, because there was nothing to be sad about.
I really needed to Thank Life for letting me experience love in the way I did, even though I don't know if whatever he felt for me was Love, but it had felt like he had cared, but I could only sure of what I felt myself, within, and it had been love,and it would be a pity if I had never experienced it at all.
Like they all say, its Better to have Loved and Lost, than to have never Loved at all.
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