She expected regret or at least some degree of shame to follow as soon as the sentance was free from her lips, after all, it was the most unorthodox request she had ever made, but no such feelings followed, instead, she was only made more sure in her decision.
Iolas was dumbstruck.
He blinked slowly several times, certain that what he heard was a mistake. She couldn't possibly have just said that.
"I'm sorry. What?!"
She gulped.
"You heard me."
Her words came out slowly, but the assurance in what she was saying was undeniable.
"Adelaide... What? Have you gone mad?!"
Iolas was slightly panicked, and her incredibly calm, cool demeanor did not help, he was made to feel very uncomfortable and even more confused.
He pulled his hand away from her, every hair on his neck standing straight up; he had heard of sailors driven crazy by the sea, but she had only recently left the docks, there was no way she could have been overtaken by the sea madness so quickly.
"Be calm. I assure you my wits are fully about me."
She reassured, appearing unmoved by his current state of disbelief and semi-duress.
"Then why, pray tell, why would you... YOU say such a thing?!"
He nearly shrieked.
"Because what you just said... I mean, you want me too...." even saying the words outloud made his head spin.
"You want us to... lay together? In the biblical sense?"
It was the most modest way to put it that his scrambled brain could contribute.
"Yes." She answered, voice once again eerily calm and certain.
Iolas let out another noise of frustrated confusion, before running his hands through his deep red hair, pulling at his locks.
"Like here? Right now?"
This time she didn't answer, but after a nervous gulp, she nodded.
"What? In this dirty cell, with the enemy trapsieng around just a few feet above us? Oh God Adelaide, if you are joking please stop."
He pleaded, but she never caved.
After a hitched breath, his next question contained only one word.
"Why?"
"Because..." She sighed, breaking eye contact to stare at the cell floor, shifting her weight slightly.
"We must be realistic, no one knows where we are, no rescue party could even attempt to save us, and now as we sit on this floating prison, sailing closer and closer to the unfortunate and final conquering of Aelford, where I am to be married off to their warlord king, to be used like a brood mare, and you..." She paused for a moment, pushing back the lump in her throat.
"You'll likely be killed as soon as the wedding is over, probably right in front of me as a means to permanently scare me into submission. I think I've figured out how these cruel barbarians work..."
Adelaide breath was ragged as she predicted his future.
"Well, the Captain did threaten that, but then he also promised to put in a good word and try to let me live as a slave..." Iolas interjected, unable to stop himself.
Her face fell further at his words.
"A slave? To be owned like an animal? Forced into a life of beatings and hard labor? To sit by and perhaps even be forced to watch your masters go on to other nation's and destroy the homes and lives of others? Would you really prefer that to death?"
She asked, but didn't wait for an answer, as she already knew it.
"But to answer you, I have had everything taken from me by these monsters, my family, my kingdom, even my very freedom itself."
Adelaide grumbled.
"But in this moment, as of right now, I have one thing left that is still mine, that they have not yet stolen from me, and that is my virtue, and if it's the one thing I have left, well, damn me to hell but I would rather give it away by my own choice, of my own volition, and to whom I choose, before it can be added to the long list of things stolen away by these cretins."
Iolas took in her words and as she calmly spoke, his panic dispersed into the night air and he began to understand where she was coming from.
"I see." He nodded, but his understanding was quickly overshadowed by a sense of unworthiness, and then immediately after, an equally heavy sense of guilt.
"But Adelaide, it's me..."
Iolas wanted to look her in the eyes but couldn't.
"I am not worthy of such a gift. After all I've done to you and your family. How am I any better then one of them? How could you even think of allowing me to..." He couldn't even finish it.
Adelaide reached out to take his withdrawn hand once again.
"But you are. Believe me, this is not a request i am making lightly. You have protected me, watched over me, cared for me, fed me, fought for me, and have even attempted to die for me several times. You are a better man than you think. I would not be asking you this if, at least on some level, I hadn't already forgiven you."
She squeezed his hand, her last sentence making his eyes go as wide as saucers.
"Adelaide please don't..." He begged. It was three words he had never wanted to hear both more, or less in his life, and in the few moments of silence that followed before she spoke again, he felt as if he was being choked by the very air in his lungs.
"I forgive you."
Those words cut through the air like a heated saber through exposed flesh.
In that moment, Iolas knew that that no other three words ever spoken to him would ever compare.
After another deep, nervous breath, Adelaide spoke up again.
"I ask you to do this for me, to take my virginity from me, so that at least I can have some peace at that it will not be done in rape."
Her voice trembled at that last word, and it caused his heart to ache, for he could feel the absolute terror she felt for that aspect of her future. Hating himself for being unable to better protect her, and unable to stop himself, he pulled her into his arms and cradled her head against his chest. He wanted to speak, but still felt as if the words were being choked in his throat.
"From what I've been told, I understand that the first time can be painful, so I can't and don't even want to imagine how bad the pain could be... forced upon."
She felt the urge to cry, but after so many tears already shed that day, none came.
He didn't speak, but she felt him trembling at her words.
"At least with you, It would be with someone whom I know, and trust, but most importantly, I would know that someone isn't intentionally trying to cause me pain."
The words came out only a little louder than a whisper, and for a moment the calm and collected queen cracked once more in dread, if only just slightly
"The truth is, the thought of being raped, it has consumed me as of late, filled me to the brim with a terror that I cannot shake. It haunts both my waking and unconcious. I am so afraid of rape. It is the truth Iolas, so, so afraid... more than anything else."
She pulled herself closer to him, pressing her face deeper into his neck and holding on as if for dear life.
"But last night, as we were kissing, and perhaps even the time before that, my fear dispersed, if only for a little while. I felt something..." she paused for a moment to search for the right word to describe how his passionate displays had made her feel, but it was difficult to express in a single word.
"...other, something good."
"Adelaide, it's just..."
He tried to argue, words finally able to escape the hold of his emotions, but she barely let him speak before cutting him off.
"Today you said that you wanted to give me something instead of taking it."
She pulled back to look him intensely in the eyes.
"But this would be taking something from you!"
He countered quickly. It was hard for Iolas to even believe the conversation he was having.
Never in his life did he ever envision himself arguing against bedding a woman he desired so dammed badly.
"My virtue would be a gift I give away willingly, my last decision as a free woman. Let my body experience some kindness and gentleness at the hands of a man before I must submit it into the clutches of monsters. Let me execute my last act of power that I call my own. Unburden me of my virginity, please Iolas?"
Iolas let out a reluctant sigh, not yet agreeing, yet no longer arguing.
"But what if... I leave you with child?"
He asked delicately, but with concern, for the first time actually beginning to take her request seriously.
"They'd kill it, and perhaps even you."
"Listen cousin,"
She began with a small smile of amusement.
"Our features are similar enough that to these cretins we already pass as family. The thing they call a King will undoubtedly have me within a few days end anyways..."
Adelaide sighed, reaching up to run her fingers through his blood colored hair.
"...and a red haired child born to a red haired mother will raise the suspicions of no one."
Iolas let out a sigh, leaning towards her hand, undoubtedly enjoying her touch.
With kindness and gentleness.
Those words of her request ran through his mind.
Two things that had never been even the slightest concern for his dalliances in the past. Sex for Iolas had only ever been rushed and rough, with just his personal gratification in mind, but as he held this trembling, terrified young queen in his arms, he silently vowed to make true and honest love to her, as she deserved, something he had never before done.
"Well, my father did tell me to do anything for you, and I guess this falls under the definition of anything."
He half joked, despite the seriousness of his heavy thoughts, and in the moment that followed, he committed himself to nothing else but giving her all the sweet, gentle, yet carnal pleasures that her little body could handle, he would take her as delicately and with as much care as one would pluck an exquisite flower, but with enough intensity that if only for a night she might forget their situation, or even her own name, because if it was the one good thing he could do for her, by god he was going to do it well.
"Very well Adelaide, I'll do it."
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A/N: Happy New Years everyone!
Sorry for the long wait. Was really busy over the holidays. Hope you all enjoyed this update. :)
-QueenOfGeeks