A/N: This the breather. The moments of reprieve and well deserved rest for these two. I wrote strictly with the idea that they needed a moment of just being. Hopefully, you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Just two more chapters left after this, wowza has it been a ride. Happy readings y'all!
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I fretted over my night bag. A night bag I had to borrow from Sweets because all I had was my canvas pack and a massive duffel. Neither really appropriate.
This was big. Huge. We were spending a night at his parents' house for Christmas. In one room. With his parents who were going to officially know we were a two-person unit, Oh my God.
Swiftly, I yanked the zipper open again, ruffling through my options. "Lia, you ready? We really have to go. Otherwise, Ma is going to go file for missing persons." I heard him laugh to himself. Well, at least one of us was in great spirits. Although given our humping marathon last night, I'd be more shocked if he was being a sourpuss.
My hand twitched. "Uh—just a second!" I was stalling. Putting off the inevitable. My insides twisting at the thought of having to face Eilis. Trying to keep from fucking up with Renata now that her laid out plans were coming to fruition. Kiernan was the easy one, let's be real.
Then there was Tris. The blank sister, the unknown. I was hyperventilating.
"Little Lia," Ronaldo snuck up behind me. Two arms wrapped around my waist as he perched his head on my shoulder. I imagined his knees must have been bent to pull off such a thing. My theory was confirmed when he lifted me up and placed me away from my bag. He zipped it up quickly and set it by my former bedroom door. I have yet to move rooms. Baby steps.
"I wasn't finished," I huffed.
"You were finished two hours ago." He gave me a pointed look. "What's going on, Short Stack?"
I lifted a shoulder. "Nothing." Everything.
The word vomit was building in my chest, creeping up higher at an alarming rate. Spewing all over the space between us. "I'm just trying to wrap my head around this new step. And I don't want to fuck this up. I don't want repeat accusations a-la-Eilis with your other sister. And are you sure you really want this? I mean I'm a mess, Ronaldo. A giant, colossal mess. I have a ramen addiction. I'm harboring homeless minors in your spare apartment. I've only recently moved into an actual establishment meant for human habitation—thanks to you. I have my own goon squad stalking my shadow and, and a Mother who runs a brothel. Not even a legal one like the Bunny Ranch! No, a full-on prostitution ring with scummy contacts! And she keeps following me around like a fucking parasite. Are you sure that's what you want to tie yourself to? Because believe me, her maniacal ass popping up all over the place will get real old, real fast, Sweets. And things are going to get ugly as we get farther along this investigation process. I just think maybe I should stay here. It's not like we're that serious. Its only day one. They won't even miss me! And hell maybe you'll change your mind. I mean you didn't cave at the bridal shop—such wise instincts, you—so this can't possibly that serious...and so not important—totally, totally not important—but why didn't you cave at the bridal shop?!" I was practically heaving. The points no longer connecting in anything that resembled a coherent argument. Sebastian, bless his baking heart, took it all in stride. Eyes wide and getting wider.
His ability to shift gears when I was having a meltdown was marveling. Sweets pulled me to him, holding me loosely. Choosing to ignore my rantings of panic and address the real pressing matter; why I even cared he hadn't jumped my bones during our own runway lingerie show.
It occurred to me that I hadn't understood my disappointment in the entire outcome until now. I really was a mess. Maybe last night triggered something? Where was I even going with this?
"Well, that's sure a lot for nothing." He tapped my nose, I practically deflated. "Let's unravel that start from the end. 'Caving in' as you so put it would have been wrong. That would have been a disgusting misuse of power and I'm not the type of man who takes advantage of a vulnerable woman. Especially one who was cornered into the situation to begin with. I wanted to be your friend first and foremost, Lia. If nothing else came after, at least you'd have a friend in me. I didn't want you to just jump into my bed, Darlin'. Most of us can fuck anyone without trusting the other person, and I need you to trust me. I wanted you to know you had a safe place with me. No matter how hard something was, or how difficult something could be, you knew you could come to me. That you weren't alone.
"Trust, Lia." His palm warmed my jaw. "I was going to accomplish nothing had I caved in that dressing room. It was important to establish a more stable relationship than act on any desire I felt. We had been," he paused, searching for the right word. "Tumultuous. Snapping at each other while trying to get along and figuring out a new balance. I wanted to know you first. And I had to convince you that I could be let in here," he tapped my temple. "and here." He rested his palm against my chest, right over my rabbit thumping heart. "We're better for it now, Short Stack."
Damn it, he was good. I wondered if I had been ahead at all during our ten-month rollercoaster.
"As for the rest of that, this is serious. It's serious to me, and based on this freakout, I'm going to safely say it's quite serious for you too." He smiled at me knowingly, I was turning into a puddle of mush. "I know what I want, Pints. I've known for months. I'm holding what I want. Flaws, problems, sodium loading, minor harboring and all. Your mother can't scare me off that easily." My emotions settled the longer he talked.
"Stop fretting over my family. They adore you. Believe me. They're more excited about seeing you than me. You don't have anything to worry about. Now, relax, Darlin'. You're not walking in blind." With a chaste kiss to my temple, he let me go, snatching up my bag and turning for the door. "Besides, your best friend Blake will be there. What could possibly go wrong." Sebastian snorted.
I followed with a chortle. What could indeed.
***
I sat catatonic in my passenger seat. Staring at the door. How'd I get here so fast?
A few floors below, post-meltdown, I urged to check on the Misfits. It was my first Christmas in several years away from them. They were in a new location. Tony, the traitor, practically threw me in Ronaldo's arms to be carried away.
"Get out of here, you'll be late." He had shoved.
"But how can I leave you all?" I had whined.
And Tony, the sneaky sneak, rolled his eyes. "We're fine. I'm studying. They're reading. We have more food than we know what to do with. No—no put that back in your bag, no more presents. Go, D. Get out of here."
After several more minutes of dilly-dallying, being reprimanded, fussing over any poor kiddo that happened to wander by, and getting promptly kicked out by an exasperated Tony, I found myself strapped into my seat and whisked away to towns unknown. Sebastian holding his laughter back the entire time.
Now here we were and I was not ready.
I could do this. I could DO this. I couldn't do this. A squeak came barreling out of my windpipe and into the small space surrounding us.
"Love, you're really overthinking this." Sweets clicked his seatbelt free. I nodded absentmindedly. This was dramatic to a whole new level, I'm quite aware. I was a one-woman freakshow. I just didn't want a repeat of that one overheard conversation; and the pressure to be the one to keep Ronaldo's heart intact, especially with Bathilda still on the loose, was turning my insides into mushy grapes of destruction.
I nodded my head once more, solemn. "Okay, I'm ready."
Sweets shook his head. "Darlin'," he sighed. And with that unfinished endearment hanging between us, he lured me out of the car. Where we immediately argued over who's carrying my bag. I was getting good at stalling; at this rate, I could maybe gain an entire afternoon before facing the McLoughlin clan.
In my silent victory of procrastination, I lost the actual fight. Sebastian walked away with my bag before I could snap out of it. "Balls," I grumbled behind him.
Sweets stopped at the entrance, giving me a quick kiss to ease my nerves. It had the opposite effect. I now could only think about mauling him at the doorstep. This was a colossal disaster. And then came the first notes of our insane musical.
We walked through the door, Sebastian leading the way on my request—still stealing those seconds to brace myself. You will not disappoint them. You will not disappoint them.
"We're here!" Ronaldo called out through the foyer. They had a foyer, lucky me. That bought an additional .5 seconds. We're here...woo wee that sounded so...permanent. Before I could finish the thought, I watched Sweets get practically shoved to the side, revealing a beaming Renata. All five-foot-three inches of her, exuding a force I could only dream about.
She gripped my arms, pulling me in. "Lia, sweetheart." A kiss bestowed on each of my cheeks. Then again. And a third time. Starting in on a fourth.
"What the hell, Ma?" Sebastian asked mildly hurt. He hadn't received so much as a hello; I fought my snicker.
"Get used to it, lad." His dad clamped a heavy hand on Ronaldo's shoulder. "You've been replaced." Kiernan guffawed at his own little joke.
Before I could snort, I was cannonballed by Eilis. "Lia!" Her hug, tight and unrelenting. She looked me over quickly.
"I said don't make a big deal of this. Ease her in." Ronnie grumbled under his breath. He's warned them ahead of time...
"Ignore him. Sebbie's just annoyed because he used to be the favorite. It's a victorious day for the rest of us. Trust me." She stuck her tongue out at Sweets. "You know, the chosen son returns." She wiggled her fingers.
"Hey, that's not fair, I'm the only son. Not my fault you two have to fight it out amongst yourselves for the chosen daughter title." Kiernan tilted Sweets into him with surprising force. It was like watching two brick walls leaning into each other.
"Ian, don't go poking at the beehive this early in the visit. We still have a whole night ahead of us." They shared a chuckle at his wittiness. It's clear this is all par for the course.
"Ha-ha. Kiernan." Eilis teased her dad with a narrowed gaze.
"Really, Kiern," Renata tutted. Shooting a glare at this patriarch, who looked properly chastised.
"Now, Puppet, don't be upset." Kiernan pleaded his case to his youngest daughter, getting himself ready for his own greetings with me. "I'm only joking. You're all precious to us, you know that."
Eilis scrunched her nose in humor and pulled me into another tight hug. "I'm so happy you're here." She whispered in my ear. I was having a difficult time connecting this reaction to her original one. But I guess she had already told me I was in her good graces in my bedroom, hadn't she? Maybe I was just too pessimistic for my own well being. Either way, I felt the knot in my chest ease. This wasn't so bad. I could do this. "Oh, what the hell is he doing here." She straightened out, glaring over my shoulder. I turned to see Blake waltzing up the drive.
"Honestly, what is the matter with all of you. That's two hell's in less than five minutes. The one day of the year where I ask you not to swear and you can't even give me that, damnit." Renata looked at her brood. "I invited him, Eilis Rose. Now go help your brother with the bags."
"Welcome to the family, Doll." Eilis waggled her eyebrows and sauntered off to help Ronaldo. Who, by the way, left me to the mercy of his father and a bear hug.
"Pleasure to see you again, Little Raven." He squeezed strongly, while Renata fawned over Blake in the background, juggling his gifts in one hand. Doll, Little Raven. My silly overfilled heart couldn't take it. The entire process was overwhelming but so, so good. My fear had been unfounded, they had stitched me into their fold without a second thought.
"Come on you lot, at least close the door. We'll let the entire tundra in at this rate." Renata herded us farther in, locking the front.
"Don't hog her all day, Kiern. It's my turn." Blake grabbed at me before Kiernan even let me go. "Pretty Bird, it has been a century and a fortnight since I was graced with your beguiling presence." I was overcome by a case of the chortles.
"Don't oversell yourself, Blake." I managed between bursts of cackles. "It's unbecoming of you."
"Ah, how I've missed these charming moments." He grinned and kissed my cheek. His arm lingering over my shoulder.
Eilis and Sebastian came bounding down the stairs, both flushed and laughing. Eilis's eyes narrowed on my companion. "Well, didn't take you long to sidle up to the first unattended woman in the room." Her lips were curled up in a suppressed smirk. The words sounded like a lighthearted jab, but there was an undercurrent of coolness.
I glanced between Sweets and Blake. Neither had acknowledged the bite. Hmmmmm, what's going on here...
"The lovely Eils of Rose." He stepped toward her, hand reaching out to pull her knuckles to his lips. She didn't lose her tempered smile but didn't indulge him further in his theatrics. "Alluring as ever. How have you been?" He asked innocently.
"Just fine." She replied lightly, her shoulders seeming a little stiffer. Gently she pulled her hand away from him. Curling her arms around herself. I recognized that move, a little too much. The wheels just kept turning up here. "Just fine, Blakey."
She stepped around him, giving them a wide berth. Bestowing him with a bare pat on the arm. "Hope you've been doing well yourself," Eils said quickly.
"No reason to complain here." He grinned at her. But still, she only gave him that polite smile. Then she moved along to join her father. Who pulled her into his side. Walking her toward the living room with several gift bags swinging by his side.
"Honestly, Puppet. It's really you who's my favorite." He winked at her. "I only pretend so that Ian doesn't get middle child syndrome."
"Oh, dad. And you wonder why we're all troublemakers." She laughed and rested her head against his shoulder.
Blake watched them walk away. He had the look of a man trying to work out a complicated puzzle. I'm guessing I'm not the only one who doesn't fall for his mischievous routine. Eventually, he snapped out of it.
"Well Ariel, Pretty Bird," he rubbed his hands together in glee. "Looks like the naughty trio has come together at last and we have hours to celebrate this joyous occasion." He grinned at both of us. Ronaldo groaned, rubbing his eyes. "That's right, Princess. I do believe you owe me a drink."
Sebastian sighed but smiled all the same. "It's under the tree."
I didn't want to know, but I found out anyway.
***
I moaned into my pillow. My stomach aching from all of the dishes at the table. I also suspected some of it was from those apple pie shots Eilis had prepared for the night.
They might have the strangest friendship, Eils and Blake, but they sure shared one trait. And that was rubbing mine and Ronaldo's face into the puddle of I-told-you-so's.
At this fine hour, on Sweets' slightly too small bed for two, I was plumped and almost inebriated. Life was pretty fucking great.
The door clicked shut and was accompanied by a content sigh. I flipped to my back, lifting my head with huge effort to find Ronaldo lilted against the door, beaming.
"Hiya, Chief." I supplied goofily.
"Hiya, Short Stack." He sauntered over, stopping at the end of the bed. Bracing myself up by the elbows, I tried to run my foot across his abdomen seductively.
Keyword, tried. It was more of a wobbly kick as I was too short to properly reach and had lost 70% of my coordination skills from the devil's pie juice. Sweets caught my foot and laughed. Placing it gently back where it belonged, that would be his comforter and far away from his groin.
"Shhh. I'm seducing you, Ronald." I tsked. "Just embrace this very sophisticated technique."
He tweaked my toe. Lucky toe. "My apologies, Miss. Please proceed, I'm simply over stitches to see this technique in action." I squinted an eye at him, enjoying the way the dimple slowly appeared in his cheek. It was so subtle, light. And fucking magnificent.
"You've been in the same space as Blakey for too long." I tried to reign my smile in with a bite.
"Only where you're concerned."
"What a night." I oofed as I dropped down. If I let myself, I could fall asleep right here, starfished and feeling quite hoggy.
The sounds of ruffled fabric derailed my bed conquering plans to ogle a magnificent Sebastian undressing. Inch by inch skin was revealed. Glorious inked skin I wanted to lick all night. I started fanning myself when he was standing in nothing but his briefs and folding his clothes in decent squares, setting them aside. I was getting a competency lady boner.
I think I may have purred my satisfaction at this turn of events when Sweets looked over at me with a raised eyebrow and a partial smirk. The baby of smirks.
"Are you seducing me, Sweet McLoughlin?"
"I don't know, are you seduced?" He asked, hands filled with, to my addled-brain devastation, not me but sleeping pants.
"Like you wouldn't believe." I practically hissed. At this rate, I'll be caterwauling my need for the whole house to hear. The most delicious shade of red started to rise up his neck. Red level seduction. I was getting introduced to all of his red triggers. I think he fought a shiver. Sweets dragged his eyes down my lounging limbs and up. Stopping on my "accidentally" exposed midriff.
Come to me, Ronaldo. Let's play good baker, naughty piper. What the hell was in those apple shots? I was feeling myself flush.
Sebastian, for all of his heated whiskey gazes, pulled his pants on—boo—and shook his head. He was torn, that much was clear. We had been doing this dance for far too long for him to simply fake a charlie horse and limp away. But this was Sweets we were talking about here.
"Not tonight, Darlin'."
Boooooo. "Had your fill so soon?" I asked lightheartedly. Unable to poke at his buttons even as I was trying to get him to play with my button.
He walked over, resting his hands on either side of me—hovering over me like the best of lurking bats—a knee balancing him above the mattress, and kissed the skin dipping into my waist. Slowly working up to my ribs. The brush of soft lips against my hypersensitive skin causing my head to crash back into the pillow. Now we were getting somewhere. The sharp scrape of his teeth pushing into that same rib, broke my concentration.
"Not even close." He kissed the bite gently. "I have so many plans for you, Little Lia. The ideas, oh, the ideas." I met his gaze, and Wooooooweeeeee were they blazing. To quickly that flame tempered. Replaced with an adoration dipped in regret. "But we've both had too much to drink tonight, Love. As Blake would say, our wits have quite vacated the premises." Sweets moved up to dip down for a gentle peck. "I rather like getting your unhindered permission for the use of all the horizontal blueprints we've drafted up." His finger delicately ran under my needy boob.
Consent. Boner.
I gurgled. I gughed. I don't know what I did, but it sounded like I was trying to make words for the first time ever to convey "get in me now, the permits have passed, the inspection successful. Build the blueprint!" I was obviously insane.
"I—" I had nothing. Wits hadn't left the premises, they fled. Taking every viable brain cell with them in their untimely departure. Have mercy.
"It's okay, Darlin'." He grinned before teasing my lip. The whispering leaving me wet and wanting. Tease. "I fully understand that this might be too much for you to handle." He implied to himself like a cocky sod. I hissed, this time in indignation. Oh game on, Beets. Game, the fuck, on.
"Silly, Ronaldo." I traced the waistband of his pants, dipping it down and scraped my nails toward the root of my favorite new companion. Stopping just short of contact. I leaned in to whisper in his ear as his hips involuntarily gravitated toward mine. "This is the Olympics, we've left major league county lines ago. But I can understand if it's hard for you to keep up." My hand snapped his waistband and glided away to rest next to his thigh.
He narrowed his eyes at me but the effect was ruined by that grin.
"This is going to be so much fun." He concluded. I was bestowed with one more kiss, a taunting nipple tweak, and then off he went. Away from my twitching hands.
I was crestfallen when I watched him put a shirt on. Not even skin contact, oof.
"No pouting, Love. It's beginning days and my will is still rather weak." He winked. "Skin contact might make me break my promises." Good to know. My weapons can now be sharpened. "Besides, I'm pretty sure Blake and Eils will plaster themselves to the wall with a glass if they hear even the slightest headboard tap."
Well...that sank my libido faster than an iceberg. I'm not sure I could survive a round two of we-were-right.
I scooted up off the bed, feeling marginally less horny.
Reaching my borrowed bag, I dug around for my own sleepwear. Stripping down to my knickers and bra, I pulled up my sleep shorts. It's chilly in here but Sebastian ran like a furnace, I was simply planning on stealing his warmth.
The band of my shorts bit into my hips. The elastic stretched to full capacity and fit far more snugly than when I originally bought them. I looked at the culprit of this ill fit. The soft rounding pouch of my stomach just beginning to form, I grinned like a loon.
I was soft all over. Those mountains amongst a plain, now one solid hilly top. In my few months living with Ronaldo, I've managed to turn what would have been a rough malnourished crisis into a well-fed woman of average weight.
A small roll was even present when I sat. Its formation a welcomed reminder of how far I've come. Too long I had spent nights worrying just how much abuse my body could take without the proper nutrients. Too long I wondered if it would be a weak heart not properly nourished that would be the end of me instead of Bathilda or her goons.
For far too long, I spent countless nights curled in pain when the hungry cramping kept me up all night because my stock had dwindled.
Three months ago in a shop, dressed in underwear that cost a small fortune, I wondered if I'd see the day where my sharp edges would finally find their soft balance. Today, I can happily say they have. I tapped the waistband culprit and chuckled quietly at the slight jiggle.
Sebastian, sitting on the edge of the bed with his short sleeves rolled over his shoulders, stopped rubbing a balm into his tattooed arm. He looked at me mildly amused by my amusement.
"What's got you giggling, Pints?" He switched hands and began rubbing his other arm. Never taking his eyes off me. I wasted no time announcing my pride, albeit a little distractedly.
"Look it shimmies!" I tapped my stomach and watched the jiggle in fascination. I was so proud of that jiggle. So obnoxiously proud. I looked up at Ronaldo, elated. I was met with bemusement. As if I was a silly little thing. This was my personal progress. My 'fuck yea' victory. "What? This is great! It beats the borderline emaciation, Sweets."
His lips tugged down. Hand slowing to a stop. Bemusement replaced with displeasure. In disagreement. "Borderline?" Oh, Sweets. Always focusing on the negatives of the past... Can't have that.
I placed a hand on my hip, straightening to my best posture, nose in the air. "Don't frown so, darling, it'll give you wrinkles." A crack of a smile came through that displeasure. A Blake impersonation was never far from reach. Although he was in the other room and could pull it off much better. Probably with that glass. Eh, fuck it. "I'm just excited is all."
Ronaldo moved, leaving the closed container on his old nightstand. "And I'm happy that you're excited." He stood up and aimed for me. Hands finding all of their favorite places. I could feel his thumb running along my newfound amusement. The touch was distracting, especially considering that the nookie was not to be had tonight. "I'll love you no matter what shape you come in, Shorts. But I'd be a damn liar if I told you that I didn't prefer you like this."
"More cushion for the pushin?" I offered helpfully with wide eyes. Sebastian laughed and shook his head.
"Yea that too." My eyes observed him briefly lick his lips with rapt fascination. "I watched you fade. And I watched you go hungry without realizing that's what was happening. That will always remind me of all that you've suffered. This feels more like you." He pressed his mouth to my forehead, squeezing me tightly.
I respected his honesty. "Thanks, Sweets. I feel more like me too." I knew I was fairly—if not severely—underweight all those months ago. I also knew that I'd gotten much worse after that fitting. I'm glad he hadn't seen how bad it could have been. I'm even more glad that he'll never have to see me like that again. I had a new future. One that involved a routine supply of meals, and that was definitely a cause for celebration.
Now if only I could convince Ronaldo to celebrate with me with a round of rumple-the-sheets.
Clearly I had a one-track mind. So, as sophisticated as a leatherbound book, I made my final attempt. "Say, while I got you back there...mind helping a girl out with her bra clasp?" He looked down at me and I gave him my best eyebrow waggle.
Sweets laughed. "Relentless. You are relentless." He shook his head but helped undo the twins' hat nonetheless. But Ronaldo had a will of steel, contrary to what he said earlier, as he moved away back to the bed with a single wink. Leaving me to sigh in mourning with a loose bra ready to give for the night.
Alas, I would have to settle for cuddles. Could be worse, we could have had a puritanical host who demanded separate rooms. I pulled my tank top over my head quickly and practically dived for the bed. Lunging for the covers like the frozen popsicle that I was.
Too late I realized why it was freezing in here; the window was cracked open. Damnit.
Luckily Sweets got back up. "Mind getting the window when you get back?" Whereas I hogged the bathroom for my nightly routine before tearing into this room, Sebastian only now got the chance to wrap his day up.
"Sure thing, Shorts." He smiled over his shoulder, slapping the light off at the door. "Behave." He warned. Damn, there goes stripping myself naked and rubbing all over him. Maybe I wasn't done seducing. HA, I'll never be done seducing...
I snuggled into the sheets, at leisure and feeling the effects of this busy day wane. Ronaldo returned some time as I tried to doze and fulfilled his window duties.
It was as I was snuggling into him, getting cozy against his side, that he spoke quietly.
"Not so bad, eh, Pints?"
I smiled into his skin. "Not at all." Tonight had been easy. For all my worry and panic, not once was I made to feel like an interloper, a newcomer, or an outcast. My greeting with Tris was far tamer than with any of the others. It seemed that she was the reserved one.
She seemed pleased and accepting. Her husband was definitely the outgoing one of the pair. I watched in amusement as Blake and Eilis threw barbs at each other, as Kiernan attempted to tease his wife and kids, and watched Renata beam at her family with the love of a proud mother.
She adored her family and I hadn't known, until then, just how much I needed proof that there were mothers who truly wanted the best for their children. Something I hadn't realized Bathilda had taken from me.
"You have a wonderful family, Sweets. Thank you for sharing this with me." I buried my face into his skin, feeling oddly shy.
"They're yours too, Darlin'." He replied. "Now, they're yours too."
"Mmmmmm". I understood his sentiment and was touched by it, but I believed it was still too soon for it to be the truth. "Maybe one day, Sweets."
He sighed. "One day you'll see what I've known all along."
"Maybe." I believed him when he said I would. Ronaldo has been right on a lot of things. This would be no different.
He hadn't given up on me staying, no matter how hard I tried to convince him to.
I had been wrong. And I've never been more grateful.