I scratched my head looking at the board not understanding the graph that was shown and the mathematical equation shown at it.
"Y/N—" A girl pouts in front of me in class as she poke the girl next to her. "I don't understand."
The other girl smiled and I was smitten, I found myself staring at her. Seulgi used to smile like that when we first started dating. This girl's, Y/N, though was a bit more warm and caring as she explains in detail the graphs on the board.
Thanks to her I was able to understand it. The professor left the room as I was about to thank her when my phone beeps.
It was Seulgi, asking me if I could be a bit late in picking her up from the gym. She said she started out late but I insist that I'll be there and just wait for her since my classes are over.
When I turned my head up, the girl, Y/N already left the room.
——
When I entered the gym to pick up Seulgi, I could already hear her giggling inside. It must be that kid again, Jungkook.
He was being touchy of her, I could see him pushing Seulgi's legs, bending it while he was on top of her while she exudes a laugh that I haven't heard before.
I know Jungkook's doing that on purpose, I know him, he knows me, he knows that she's my girlfriend and yet he didn't seemed to be embarrassed in the slightest.
They met in the gym, the moment Seulgi mentioned his name I knew it's only a matter of time that he'll be eyeing her.
To protect her, I asked Seulgi if I could pick her up, befriend him— maybe he'll grow some conscience about targeting her in his little game.
"Hon— would you still take long?" I called out trapping the anger inside me. I know I have the right to be mad this time but I decided to let it go.
I know I could lose my cool whenever jealousy's involved. We almost broke up the last time I did confront her about Jungkook's availability when it comes to helping her with her routine stretch.
I know the green-eyed monster inside of me is sometimes irrational. For the last three years, I think I already exhausted all my chances of her forgiving me for making a scene whenever she's with her guy friends, of those times I almost got her in trouble with a professor that was mentoring her.
So even if my supposed girlfriend is almost being dry humped by a younger guy, I decided to stay quiet. She would just pull the "remember when" cards of my previous unsupported jealousy.
What I hated the most was, even if he's seducing my girlfriend, how friendly Jungkook was still to me.
"You're lucky. You got a catch right there." Jungkook said cocking his eyebrows at me while Seulgi gets her things.
"I intend to keep it that way." I said trying to fend him off but it seems he has a pachydermic skin as he just chuckled.
My girlfriend went to the gym bathroom after telling me she'll just shower and somehow Jungkook who was still lifting some weights decided to stop and took a shower, too.
I wanted to barge in there but if I do that and there's nothing going on, I'll make her angry at me again. So I waited for twenty minutes and Seulgi came out with her hair still damp chasing her breath.
"Don't you want your friends to join you at the gym?" I asked while we were walking to our dorm.
She grunted which means I said the wrong thing again, "I think it'll be pretty fun if you and the girls—"
"Are you jealous again? Why don't you join me instead so you won't get jealous." She said as she walked faster.
"— I was just asking. I don't mean anything." I said.
It was later that evening, when I discovered, in her cellphone the video of him, going down on her as she shouts his name. As if it wasn't enough, when I barged in the shower room—
— I caught them fucking in one of the stall.
The air in my lungs starts to be trapped. I wasn't able to say anything, anything to stop them. My tears fell as I slowly walk inside.
"Why?" That's the only word that left my mouth as Seulgi and Jungkook tried to cover themselves.
I never broke my eye contact on Seulgi as Jungkook got out of the room. Seulgi just starts to wear her clothing dismissing me.
"I want to know why. Why did you do this?" I asked.
She didn't speak and just clutched the towel she was holding. I grabbed her arm, "WHYYYY???!!!!"
Seulgi slapped me.
I heard her scoffed. "Because you're boring, controlling and can't take a hint. He's exciting— and I don't have to explain myself— this is your fault. I never felt anything special when I'm with you— you used to be fun to be with— now— you're just boring."
"I love you." I said as I slumped to the cold tiles of the bathroom. "If this is just a phase—"
"I don't. It's not a phase— I wasn't able to tell you but— I— I don't love you anymore." Seulgi left as stayed inside, crying in the corner of shower stall.
That was the beginning of the end.
The complicated relationship we both have.
— because after that night. Jungkook avoided her and she ran back to me.
Only some memories are etched deeply in my brain. Memories of what I saw in that video and no matter how hard or how strong my feelings are still for her, I can't accept her back.
She pretended we're still together. Gossips of what transpired in the shower room spread like wild fire in the dorm. Even if she did horrible things to me, I cannot turn a blind eye whenever guys are catcalling her or asking her to join in their shower. I didn't object about me being used as a stand in.
No more kissing nor sex.
No dates.
She just spend her time in my dorm.
My roommate, Hobi didn't mind nor asked what happened.
——
"Dude." Jimin called out. He's stationed in the room besides ours.
"Yup?" I asked as I was readying to leave for my class.
"Seulgi came by yesterday night. You were out with Hobi so—" Jimin told me.
"Yeah— I'll just text her." I said.
"Listen— Tae. I—I'm sorry about what happened with Seulgi. I mean— I was the one who suggested the gym to her so I feel—" Jimin said.
"What do you mean? We're okay." I said pursing my lips.
"You don't have to pretend. Jungkook told me about it—" He said and my blood shoot up immediately to my head. Something that didn't go unnoticed.
"Don't be mad— I had to wring it out of him. I noticed how you and Seulgi seems to be aloof with each other so I asked him— He's not— he's not telling other people." Jimin said looking nervous.
"That's so kind of him. Tell him thank you for fucking my ex-girlfriend and after that avoiding her. You're a good guy Jimin— I honestly don't understand why you're friends with him." I said.
"He's a nice guy— I mean— fuck boy persona aside." Jimin looked at me. "I'm really sorry."
"It's okay— It's not your fault. I mean you're not the one who put his penis into her vagina— I have to go." I said and Jimin gave me a nod.
"Tae!" Seulgi called with her wide smile. A smile that she refused to give me until the incident happened.
She became more warm and touchy after Jungkook left her out cold. Her arms encircled my own as she leaned to me. "We're not together anymore— you shouldn't do these things."
"We could be." She said smiling bitterly. "We could be together again."
"If you could unfuck Jungkook— we could." I said and her smile faded.
"It's just one time." She said as if it was just a small school infraction that I could easily forget. "I've forgiven you a lot of times before but I made a mistake just one time and now—"
"Yes— but those times— are mistakes I made because I was trying to get closer to you. I was protecting you from being taken away from me— because I always knew that if you find someone better you'll drop me like a hot potato." I removed her arm from mind and smirked at her. "So tell me— tell me how does it feel to be treated like a trash because I was sure as hell felt the same way."
Seulgi's hand aimed to slap me but I caught it. "If you slap me, It's game over, they'll know we've broken up and get ready to be harassed again. I still care about you but it's not unlimited as you think it is. What happened between us is your fault— I'm sure as hell I won't go through that again."
The people started to look at us so I gave Seulgi a hug and pinch her cheek. "One month— this only goes for a month."
I said and walked away.
I sat in my usual seat and Y/N and her friend sat in front of me again.
"You don't have money again? I thought you just borrowed from your evil roommate." The other girl said.
"Mom asked for money. She said she needs to pay our electric bill and Aunt Minah just lent her money so I lied and said I got a part time job." I said.
"How do you pay your roommate then?" She asks.
"I do houseworks." Y/N answered. "— but I list down all the money I borrowed from him— I'll pay him someday."
"That's pretty hard. I could ask if they have some part time work so he wouldn't give you a hard time."
"I've been in harder situation before." Y/N said. "Besides I could manage — I still have time to study."
"What harder situation?"
"Somebody made me say worceshi— worces— worcesther— Worcestershire before." Y/N quipped and I can't help but chuckle.
Y/N looked back at me shocked that I was listening but I was also taken aback could feel my face heat up when our eyes met. "Sorry— that was funny."
She smiled shyly and her friend lightly elbowed her.
The rest of the time, I could catch her looking at me when she thinks I'm not looking.
So I made my mind and before the class ended as she look at my direction again, I stared at her and wink.
Her face immediately reddens as she took her bag without waiting for the professor to dismiss us to got out of the room.