I don't own anything except any original character and/or any original plot.
🕷
Chapter Twenty: The Garden
🕷
A/n: Happy Thanksgiving! This is a gift to show how thankful I am for you. Honestly, this is one of my favorite chapters in this book because of who shows up and how I went about writing it. I'll still be posting on Sunday as well!
~*~
Two weeks after the verdict and acquittal of Peter, our lives had become semi-normal. I was visiting Wakanda on the weekends to continue my internship with Shuri, and I resumed my therapy appointments with Shawn. Still, something tickled my mind and haunted my dreams.
Morgan's little face looking up at me and saying that I killed her father.
Suffice to say, it made our weekly visits with her a lot harder. Beck tried to ruin Peter's life, but what he didn't realize was that he ruined mine far before Peter was almost convicted of murder. But it wasn't just Beck, it was Thanos too. In my therapy sessions, Shawn and I were stuck on the idea of closure. I never got to stick-it to Thanos and tell him what I really thought of him, scream at him and curse him to hell for what he made me do. If I could do that, things would be better. Because I'd be facing who really killed Tony. But since I couldn't, there was no way to turn that blame to someone other than myself.
Peter picked up on how I felt pretty easily, and we talked about it on more than one occasion. It wasn't until Peter asked if we could go to Wakanda together a week after our conversation without telling me why that I knew something was up.
Okoye picked us up an hour later, and she was just as cryptic about why we were going. When we landed, Shuri was there to greet us and bring us to her lab. When we stepped off the transporter, I realized why everyone had been so quiet.
"You made a spaceship?"
It was modeled much like the Guardians', with Shuri's own flare here or there. Fully functional, with the vibranium to allow it to survive the atmosphere.
"Peter told me that you've been needing to go to space," Shuri explained shortly, leading us aboard, "And while I'm not entirely sure why, I couldn't leave my best friend hanging and not build her the spaceship of her dreams so she could do so."
"Shuri, you're my favorite person," I pulled her into a tight hug.
"Don't think this doesn't come without a price. I'm coming with you. It'll be fun!"
"A space trip with no adult supervision? Sure, why not?"
An hour earlier I had been talking to my parents about whether or not we should order takeout or make something for dinner. Now, I was going out to space.
Loading onto the ship, Peter and I set our bags in the corner and strapped in. Shuri excitedly sat in the Captain's seat, leaving a message for T'Challa that she was going to space because he was on a mission and she couldn't tell him in person. I wished I could see his reaction to that. I could practically hear the tired sigh.
"Leaving the ground," Shuri announced. The ship shot off the ground and into the air, slamming all of us back in our seats, "Note to self, fix that later. I talked to Rocket about their ship capabilities and received some new parts in return, so this baby is all ready for deep space travel. I have a map of the galaxy and jumping capabilities, so where do you want to go?"
"The Garden."
With wide eyes, my head snapped to face Peter. He sent me a confident smile in return. He knew what he was doing, so I had to trust his judgment.
"Alright. Planet located, coordinates locked. We've got four jumps to get there, so hold on."
G-force was a bitch. All of us gasped as Shuri started the jumps and we were unable to move a finger. Once a jump was completed, there were a few seconds of reprieve where the ship was traveling to another jump spot, and then the cycle began again.
By the time we were done, all of us were groaning in discomfort. Shuri never lost her smile, however, and even managed a laugh or two in between panting for air and clutching a garbage can that was hidden under the dash.
"Everybody good?" She questioned, we managed groans in reply, "Awesome. Because that was the best moment of my life and I can't wait to do it again on the way back."
We all laughed. Tapping away at her holo-pads, Shuri pulled up an image of mine and Thanos' old home.
"This is the only structure on the planet. Is there where you want to go?"
"Yeah." I shot Peter another look. What kind of game was he playing? Did he want me to face my deepest insecurities and worst trauma?
A few, short minutes later we landed. I spun my chair around so I wouldn't be able to see the decrepit structure. Peter grabbed my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Humming to herself with no idea of why we were so out of it, Shuri wandered into a separate room of the ship and came back out rolling what looked like a coffin.
"What's... what do you got there?" I asked nervously.
Slamming her hand down on the button that opened the back, Shuri grinned, "Your boyfriend asked me to smuggle away some of our Ancestor Sand. It's incredibly important to my people and we might get arrested if it's discovered we took some. Fun!"
Following her mutely, Shuri parked the box a few feet away from the steps of the house. I didn't want to go inside. I didn't know if Thanos' corpse was still there, having been rotting away for five years. I didn't want to find out, either.
"This is your closure," Peter explained as Shuri opened the box to reveal it was full of red sand, "That sand can make you meet whoever you need to talk to, even if they're dead. You needed to talk to Thanos, now you can. This is your closure."
"Peter-" My chest tightened.
"Talk to me after you murder him again for what he did," Peter grabbed me by my hips and lifted me into the box.
The sand was smoother than I thought, almost like silk against my skin. Lying down, my heart dropped to my stomach when Shuri began moving the sand over my body, not caring if it was a little too close to my face as she went through the process.
"The sand's particles are far enough apart that oxygen can still get through, unlike normal sand. In order for it to work, we have to cover your face. But you'll be able to breathe," Shuri assured me.
"Okay," I gulped. I was placing a lot of trust in the two of them.
Closing my eyes tightly, I held back a gasp when they first pile of sand covered my face. Then another, and another, until all I could feel was silk shifting around me. Sure enough, I could still breath- which calmed my racing heart. The sand was warm, as if it retained the heat from the Wakandan sun. Faintly, I heard a bell chime. Once, twice-
When I dared to open my eyes, I was outside of the box and in front of the house. Thanos was standing next to me, staring down at me with no malice or anger, just curiosity.
"It's been a while since we've talked," he stated, looking off into the distance, "To become God is the loneliest achievement of them all, I learned that when I snapped the first time, so I thank you for returning. The last time you were here, we couldn't finish our conversation."
"The last time I was here?"
"I believe it was before you changed your body."
He was talking about when Jean removed Thanos from my mind, the day Peter and I used the Time Stone to age back. When she was pulling out the last bits of Thanos' influence, I was brought to the Garden and talked to Thanos about why I thought he sent me on missions when he claimed he was at peace.
"Before I left, you said that you weren't using me to save yourself," I mumbled. This conversation was too tame. Part of me was screaming at my body to move, punch him, kill him, do something other than talk to him like nothing ever happened. But I couldn't. I wouldn't.
"And you wanted to ask why I kept sending you on missions," Thanos waited for a few seconds, then prompted, "Go ahead, ask why."
"I said you were using me as your guide because you were lost. You said I was wrong. So why did you go through the trouble of ruining my life if it wasn't for selfish reasons?"
"I wanted to save you."
I had to laugh at that. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Perhaps it was true. Or it was all a load of bullshit. Allowing the breeze to pass over me, I took in a deep breath, turned to Thanos, and smiled.
Closure is never what you expect it to be. I'd been telling myself that closure for me would be sticking-it to Thanos one last time, letting him know that I hated him for what he did and that I was more than the killer he tried to make me, but that wasn't closure. It was revenge, malice. That's why, instead of yelling and attacking, I said-
"I didn't- I don't need you to save me. Because for the first time, I know I can find my way and save myself. Maybe not on my own, but I'm not alone, and that's where our paths diverge. I will never be God, never achieve something so lonely. I didn't kill Tony. He sacrificed himself for all of us. And I will not spit on his legacy by destroying myself with guilt. I will never forgive you for what you did to me, but that doesn't mean I can't accept it and keep fighting."
Thanos smiled, and nodded, "Good."
Bursting up, I gasped as my entire body came to life. Shuri and Peter were by my side in an instant, a hand on each of my shoulders as I regained my bearings. When I was done panicking, Peter helped me out, and I pulled him into the tightest hug I could muster.
It would take another therapy session to process what I just went through- considering my brain was rapidly trying to catch up- but my heart wasn't heavy, and the tears forming in my eyes weren't from the mental anguish I'd allowed to fester.
"I love you. Thank you for putting this together," I held back my tears, and poured all of my love into the statement.
"It worked, then? You kicked his ass?"
"Not exactly. I'll tell you about it later. How long was I in there?"
"Around two hours. Shuri and I have been playing Mario Kart on her Switch while we've been waiting. We stopped at another planet for some food too. It was actually pretty good." Peter shrugged.
"You mean you left me, in a box full of sand on an alien planet, alone?"
"Snitch!" Shuri slapped Peter's shoulder, "You weren't supposed to tell her about that."
"Sorry!"
Chuckling, I sighed contently, glancing over to the house. I still wasn't going to go inside, but that didn't mean I couldn't do anything with it.
Raising my hands, I carefully shifted the plant life surrounding the little home. The plants growing through the cracks in the stairs enveloped them completely. The trees behind the house completely loomed over the roof. And the tall grass on either side grew so tall that the entrance couldn't be seen anymore. The house was lost to nature, never to hurt anyone again.
Looking to the fields, I observed his suit of armor curiously, unsure of what to do with it. Humming in curiosity, I noticed that there was another figure next to it. Shuri and Peter must have never noticed because they were too absorbed in the Switch game.
"You guys can head to the ship. I'll be there in a second," I waved my hand absently, hurrying toward the suit of armor.
Cautiously approaching the person, I noted that they were a woman. Tall, with long black hair and striking green eyes that matched her outfit.
She spoke before I had the chance to, "How did he affect your life?"
I knew she was talking about Thanos, "He kidnapped me, adjusted my body, and made me hurt my loved ones... what about you?"
"I was lost, and he found me. Tortured me into submission and gave me the power I always craved. But it was tainted and made me cruel. I see now that I was never born for it, and that's okay."
Nodding silently, I stared up at the armor in front of us.
"Do you know what happened to Thor?" The woman asked quietly.
"Last I heard he was traveling the universe with the Guardians of the Galaxy. He lost himself during the five years after the Snap and is trying to find himself again. He gave up New Asgard too, we were all shocked by it."
"He'll be back. The throne has always daunted him in ways we could never understand. Who did he give the throne to?"
"Valkyrie."
The woman chuckled, "Feisty woman. I can see why, but she'll need some help."
"Are you going to help her?"
"No one else knows the secrets of the throne better than I." The woman turned away, "Goodbye."
"Wait!" I put a hand on her arm, "Who are you?"
Smirking, the woman turned to face me one last time, "My name is Loki Odindottir. Goddess of Mischief, queen of nothing in particular, and sister of Thor." The woman chuckled when my brows furrowed, "Your world has those who don't fit as a binary gender, doesn't it? Maybe I'll see you again, (Y/n) (L/n)."
I blinked. The woman was gone. I didn't stop to wonder how Loki knew my name. They had many tricks up their sleeve, and skills the world had never seen.
Trekking back to the ship, I buckled myself in. Shuri and Peter didn't ask what I was doing. Maybe they assumed I was saying my final goodbyes, or they saw me talking to Loki and were allowing me the privacy of our conversation. Either way, I appreciated their discretion.
On the way back, Peter and Shuri told a story about how Shuri got the contact information of their server at the alien restaurant they went to, and she was ecstatic about possibly dating an alien.
I was happy, content, and for the first time in years, completely free. Everything was okay.
Until we entered the atmosphere and were within service rang for our phones again. All of us stepped off the ship, outside of Shuri's lab again.
"So, are you guys going to spend the weekend here? (Y/n), I have some more things we can do with bringing life back to the reefs and countering the ice caps melting in-"
"Oh, sorry Shuri, give me a sec," I noticed that I had several voicemails from Harry. I stepped away from Shuri and Peter to listen.
"Hey, (Y/n)! I heard you were going to Wakanda for the weekend. When you get back, you should come over for the day. Text me when you can."
Not alarming.
"(Y/n), I don't want to cut your trip short but I need you here. I feel fine when I'm around you, and-"
More concerning, especially considering it cut off at the end.
"Shit. (Y/n). They acquitted him. Why was he acquitted when he's a murderer? He killed my father! He should be in prison. They all worship him like he's a true hero. A true hero saves people. Where was he, huh? They'll all see."
"Holy shit," there was one more.
"This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. Why did you choose him (Y/n)? Weren't you happy? He should be... dead. You're right. Peter should be dead and I should be the hero! Mysterio was supposed to handle this, he was supposed to take care of him. But he failed. I won't... I won't."